Review Response (feel free to skip): I wanted to respond to a review but it was submitted by a guest so I'll do it here. Firstly, thank you for your kind words! I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Secondly, oh we are so on the same page! Don't you worry, I have all chapters outlined up until the end and the thought hadn't even crossed my mind! J

Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, any of the characters or any of the dialogue that comes directly from the text.


Chapter 22

My knee bounces up and down as I sit across from Max in his office waiting for him to digest everything I just finished telling him about last night.

His eyebrows furrow and he looks at me apprehensively. "So let me get this straight, you're asking me to kick out not one, not two, but three initiates two thirds of the way through initiation? Among them, the transfer who shows the most promise of his class?" he says.

"They tried to murder someone," I reply. "Are we really just going to start accepting murderers into our ranks now?"

"First of all, if we kicked out every member of this faction who has either killed or been involved in killing in one way or another, there wouldn't be anyone left in Dauntless leadership…yourself included. Second of all, we don't even know that they actually planned to kill her."

I breathe in deeply, trying to control my anger. This conversation is not going at all how I hoped it would.

"That's not the same thing and you know it," I reply. "And if I hadn't shown up, they would definitely have killed her."

"According to you. Either way, they were doing whatever they needed to ensure their place in this faction. It shows that they are willing to do anything for Dauntless. It proves how loyal they will be to this faction."

"No, it shows that they are willing to do anything to save their own asses and the way they went about it shows that they are cowards," I say through gritted teeth.

Max lets out an exasperated sigh before looking at me curiously.

"It's the girl isn't it?" he asks smirking, catching me off guard. "She's the reason you're even here, boring me with all of this."

"What?" I say with mock confusion.

"Fighting for something as menial as this? Talking back and arguing with me? Come on Eric, this isn't like you," he scoffs. "So I have to wonder what's fueling this crusade and the only thing I can think of is that it has something to do with the girl. The one they tried to kill. And let me stress the word tried. Because according to your account, she is still very much alive. So is that it? Are you fucking this girl?"

I blink and resist the urge to punch him for the way he's talking about her.

"This is bullshit," I spit back. "No, I am not fucking the girl."

"Watch your mouth," he replies angrily, making his way around the desk to stand in front of me. "Girl or no girl, it sounds to me like you've lost control of your initiates."

He gives me a pointed look and I stare back at him. His anger is gone just as fast as it came and he walks back over to his chair.

"You have my permission to deal with them within the parameters of initiation…that is all. You do not have my permission to kick them out or rank them low based on anything other than performance. And try to keep anymore initiates from ending up in the infirmary would you?"

I nod silently. I know that opening my mouth now will just make things worse.

"Good. Now get the fuck out of my office," he says, waving his hand as if to shoo me out.

I turn and leave, slamming his door behind me.


My fists hit the heavy bag in quick succession as blood soaks through the tape covering my knuckles. The barely healed wounds from my fight with Drew reopened a while ago and I know I should stop, but when I leave here I'll have to track down Tris and Four to relay Max's decision and I'm not quite ready to face them.

Part of me wants to ignore Max's ruling and throw them out in the street, but I know it would mean giving up my position in leadership and I've worked too hard to get where I am to let a few cowardly little boys take it away from me.

I pause to take a drink from my water bottle and spin around as I hear the door to the gym open.

"There you are!" Lauren says jogging over to me. "I've been running around this whole damn compound looking for you."

"Well here I am. What's going on?"

She opens her mouth to speak, but her focus turns to my bloody hands as I work at removing the tape.

"Should I even ask?" she questions, one eyebrow raised.

I shake my head no. "What is it Lauren?"

"It's Al, the big Candor transfer, he jumped into the chasm. They're retrieving his body now," she says solemnly.

The news take me by surprise, but my surprise is fleeting and while part of me thinks that I should feel sad…or at least a bit guilty…a bigger part of me thinks Al got what he deserves.

"Eric?"

Could Four be right though? I truly believe that initiation should be tough and have real consequences in order to better prepare new members for what's in store for them at Dauntless, but are we pushing them too hard? Are we bending them to the point of breaking?

"Eric, did you hear me?" Lauren says hesitantly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Yeah. Al's dead. I heard you," I reply.

"Okay…well, anyways, Max wants you to do the speech. Tonight, at the Pit."

"What?!" I practically yell in disbelief causing Lauren to take a step back from me. "Absolutely not."

That asshole. He's doing this on purpose. Punishing me for arguing with him earlier.

"Um…" she starts. "He was pretty adamant that you be the one to do it, but I'm just the messenger."

"If he thinks I'm going to get up in front of everyone and go on about how brave that cowardly little weasel was he has another thing coming," I spit.

She takes another step away from me, looking uncomfortable. "Just the messenger," she repeats, raising her hands while retreating.

"Anyways, I should get going. But he's planning to gather everyone at dinner," she says before leaving.


I argue with Max over dinner, trying desperately to change his mind about making me give Al's farewell speech. My words fall on deaf ears and I resign myself to giving the speech.

After dinner, I make my way over to one of the boxed platforms above the pit floor. A crowd has gathered, Tris is among them.

Shit, with the news of Al's death I completely forgot to find her and tell her about my meeting with Max. I'll have to talk to her once this farce is over.

"Quiet down, everyone," I shout, impatient to get this thing over with. The gong sounds and gradually the shouts stop. "Thank you. As you know, we're here because Albert, an initiate, jumped into the chasm this morning."

"We don't know why," I say and it dawns on me that when it comes to Al, the majority of this speech is complete bullshit. "It would be easy to mourn the loss of him tonight. But we did not choose a life of ease when we became Dauntless. And the truth is, Albert is now exploring an unknown, uncertain place. He leaped into vicious waters to get there."

I pause, the thought of my next words practically choking me. I look over at Max who nods his head, encouraging me to continue. I grit my teeth, "Who among us is brave enough to venture into the darkness without knowing what lies beyond it? Albert was not yet one of our members, but we can be assured that he was one of our bravest."

Bravest. Al was the farthest thing from brave, but few know what he did. A cry rises from the center of the crowd, and a whoop. My faction cheers at varying pitches and every part of me wants to tell them to shut up. Tell them that everything I have just said is complete crap and that Al deserves what he got. But instead, I continue as instructed.

"We will celebrate him now, and remember him always!" I yell. Sam hands me a bottle of rum and I raise it to the crowd. "To Albert the Courageous!"

I tip the bottle to my mouth and drink down more than I should as the crowd begins to chant Al's name.

I look over at Max who gives me a look of approval, behind him, Tris disappears down a nearby hallway.

God, I can't even imagine what must be going through her head after hearing me go on about how courageous Al was. I have to talk to her.


It takes me longer than I would have liked to escape the crowded Pit. After a bit of wandering, I find Tris near the water fountain but she's not alone.

Four.

Every time I've brought up the idea of Four being into her she's waved it off, acted like I'm crazy for even suggesting it, but I'm not crazy. I know he's into her. The only question is…does she have feelings for him too?

It's clear that they haven't noticed me, they continue talking, much too close to each other, while I approach them.

"I don't understand," Tris says to him, "why do they care what I think, as long as I'm acting how they want me to."

Ah, she's still curious about her divergence.

"You're acting how they want you to now," Four says, "but what happens when your Abnegation-wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don't want?"

I clear my throat to get their attention and they immediately jump apart. Realizing it's me, Tris looks relieved, but Four looks almost…guilty? Like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Jesus Eric," Tris says. "You nearly scared me to death."

"Am I interrupting something?" I ask, my expression hard. I can't help but be jealous…after all, they are hiding away in the dark all alone.

Tris shakes her head. "I just couldn't listen to it anymore. All that crap about Al being courageous...it was just too much."

I take a deep breath, my expression softening. "I'm sorry about that," I start, "I didn't mean any of it, it's just what we say every time someone…is found like that."

She nods, not nearly as upset at me as I expected her to be. "Four explained it to me. I'm not going to lie, hearing you say the words was…difficult…but even before I understood why you were saying it, I could tell you didn't believe it, it was too rehearsed."

I was so busy trying to get to know her…to understand her…that I missed the part where she seems to have gotten to know me.

I turn my attention towards Four. "I thought you'd know better than to have these types of conversations out in the open like this." I reprimand him quietly, tilting my head and moving my eyes to point towards the camera behind me.

He stays quiet for a minute.

"We were just talking," he says narrowing his eyes at me.

He doesn't trust me.

"Fine, but you're lucky it was only me who heard you two."

He looks like he wants to argue, but changes his mind.

"What did Max say?" he says instead. "About the attack."

I instinctively raise my hand to the back of my neck and scratch at the skin there. How do I tell them that Max doesn't give a shit? Tris looks at me expectantly but her expression quickly falls as I remain silent.

"He's not going to kick them out," she says simply.

"No," I say, "he's not."

I look at her apologetically.

Four scoffs. "What did he say?"

My eyes remain fixed on Tris as I answer Four's question. "He doesn't want to kick three…I guess now two…initiates out this close to the end of initiation. He thinks that if they are willing to go this far just to be a part of Dauntless then they will be extremely loyal once they are full members. And since Tris is still alive, he disagrees with me as to whether or not they were even really trying to kill her."

"Okay," Tris say.

"Okay?" Four parrots loudly. "Okay? That's all you have to say about this?"

"Well what do you want me to say? Do you want me to be outraged? Do you want me to scream? Cry?" she asks now looking at Four. "You've been in this faction longer than me, so tell me, are you honestly surprised by Max's reaction?"

He lets out an exasperated sigh. "No. I'm not surprised."

"Exactly, so what is the point of being upset? It's not going to change anything."

"Well I refuse to let you sleep in the same room as those attempted murderers," Four spits.

"You can stay with me," I interject quickly, looking at Tris and ignoring Four's eyes trying to burn a hole through my face.

"Or…she can stay with me," he offers, possessively.

"Back off Four," I say, closing my eyes and rolling my neck in frustration.

"Are the two of you capable of having a conversation that doesn't somehow turn into a pissing contest?"

Her language surprises me and I can't help but chuckle. She smiles back at me. Four scowls.

"Thank you both for your offers but I can't just move out of the dorms. People will wonder where I am and I don't think it'll go over very well if they find out I'm staying with a leader," she says looking at me. "Or our trainer," she finishes looking at Four.

She's not wrong. It'll only get worse for her if people think she is getting preferential treatment.

"You're not safe there," I say. "What if Peter tries something again?"

and I'm not there to protect you?

"He won't," she says. "Drew can barely stay upright and Al…is gone. He doesn't have any more lackeys to take the fall. I think he will leave me alone."

"Plus..." Four starts sheepishly, "he may have been threatened with physical violence if he ever lays a hand on you again."

Tris and I both look at him. "You?" I ask with disbelief.

"Not exactly, but whether I was the one who did the threatening directly or not, he knows it came from me."

I want to be irritated that he insists on trying to be her saviour, her protector, but I'm also grateful that she has both of us looking out for her.

"Well that settles it," Tris says. "I'll go back to the dorms tonight. I should probably go find my friends before they start asking questions."

She moves to walk passed me but stops when I reach out my hand and take hers in mine. She looks up at me and I tilt my head down to her ear.

I want to insist that she come back to my apartment with me. I want to tell her that I'm afraid for her and that she'd be safer with me. I want to tell her that the thought of her near Peter without me there to watch out for her is making me physically ill. But I know none of that will make her change her mind.

"My door is always open," I say instead, barely above a whisper. I lift my head to look her in the eyes. "Be careful."

She nods, a small smile on her face, and squeezes my hand gently before turning and walking back towards the Pit.

My eyes follow her until she disappears from view. I hear a shuffling behind me that reminds me I am not alone.

"We need to talk," Four says as I turn to face him.


Another long one for you! As always, I hope you enjoyed it and I look forwarding to hearing your thoughts! I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend and I'll see you for the next on on Tuesday!

-MWB