Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, any of the characters or any of the dialogue that comes directly from the text.
Chapter 27
Without hesitation, I move to stand directly in front of her. She looks so vulnerable gazing up at me with her big round eyes. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but my heart beats faster.
I lift my hand to the back of her head and gently brush my fingertips across the nape of her neck. She raises her hand and lightly wraps her fingers around my forearm in response. Her eyes flutter closed as I run my thumb down her jaw line, her lips parting slightly in reaction to my touch. A buzz of anticipation runs through my body and I lower my head, pressing my lips against hers. The kiss starts out gentle but, as her mouth moves against mine, I increase the pressure.
I feel her free arm wrap around me and her hand slide up into my hair. The intensity of the kiss escalates and I move my arms around her waist, pulling her against me. She moans into the kiss and my heart skips a beat. For a few minutes, we kiss, pouring all of the tension and all of the emotions from the past months into this moment.
When we reluctantly break apart, the room is silent aside from our breathing. I lean my forehead against hers and we both drop our arms down to our sides, immediately seeking out each other's hands. Fingers intertwined, we stand silently allowing our breathing to return to normal.
"I've wanted this for so long," I say, breaking the silence. I kiss her lightly and I can feel her smiling against my lips.
I stand upright to look at her. Grinning, cheeks flushed and swollen lips, she has never looked more beautiful to me.
"Me too," she says softly, pushing herself up onto the tips of her toes and brushing her lips against mine before lowering herself back down.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask without thinking.
She glances quickly towards my bedroom door and immediately looks distressed when her focus returns to me. I realize she's misinterpreted what I've said.
"I…I don't…I'm not ready…" she stutters.
"That's not what I meant," I say quickly, cutting her off. "I just meant, stay with me, like you have the last two nights. We don't have to do anything other than sleep. I just figured with all of the craziness coming up we might not have a lot of chances left to be alone together."
She lets out a sigh of relief. "Sorry, I just…you're the first person I've ever kissed…like that…and you're older…I don't know what your expectations..."
"Tris, stop. I swear, that's not what I was asking. Okay?"
"Okay," she says, nodding.
"Good, so will you stay?" I say giving her my cheekiest smile.
She giggles and bites her bottom lip while nodding. "Yes, I'll stay. Of course I'll stay."
Letting go of one hand only, I start walking towards my bedroom gently pulling her along with me.
After changing, we make our way to the bed to get comfortable. Tris lays her head on my chest and I inhale the now familiar scent of her hair. Her finger traces the patterns of the tattoos on my arm, up and over, through the maze until she reaches the Dauntless symbol.
"What result did your aptitude test give you?"
Her question catches me off guard. I've never actually spoken to anyone about my test results.
"Erudite, why?"
"I was just curious. Don't get me wrong, you definitely fit in here…more than I do…but something never quite matched up to me. Your mind just doesn't seem to stop. There's this face you make, a lot, where you squint a little and your eyebrows," she looks up at me and reaches to touch the space between them, "furrow a tiny bit, while your eyes just seem to be focusing on nothing…but I can tell that you're overthinking…and that just doesn't seem to be the way most Dauntless operate."
"And you're too perceptive for Dauntless," I say chuckling. "I have a feeling your Divergence is going to give me a run for my money."
"Do you think it would be easier? If our aptitude tests were the same as each other?"
"Easier? Maybe…but easy is boring and I hate being bored."
"That sounds pretty Dauntless to me. Are you sure you aren't Divergent too?" she says, smiling.
I roll my eyes back at her.
"Who administered your aptitude test anyways?"
After watching her fear simulation, I meant to look into it, but it somehow slipped my mind.
"What?"
"Your test, who did it? Who was the one who told you about your Divergence?"
She looks thoughtful for a moment. Could she be worried about outing them?
"Tori, why?"
"She's been administering the tests for a long time now. She actually did mine too. When she manually entered your test, she put her neck on the line for you…to protect you, someone she didn't even know at the time. Do you think she might be willing to help us?"
"She's pretty scared with what happened to her brother," Tris says. "But if she knew what was about to happen I doubt she could just sit back and accept it."
Her brother, George. I didn't know him, he died before I transferred and we were too far apart in age for me to remember him in Erudite. But I do know what happened to him.
"You'd have to be the one to talk to her, or Four could, but it can't be me. She won't trust me."
"Because of Amar?" Tris asks.
"How do you know about Amar?"
"Four told me. He blames you for his death," she responds simply.
I push down the jealousy that threatens to rise in me at the reminder of how close they seem to be.
She chose you, Eric.
I sigh. "That's fair."
There's no point in denying it, she already knows about my past.
"I'll talk to Four about it. When we get back from Abnegation, we'll try to get her on board."
I look down at her and nod. She turns her attention back to tracing my tattoo.
"I know we have bigger things to deal with and it's probably silly to be worrying about this, but do you think I'll pass the final test?" Tris asks.
"You've made it this far, haven't you? You've worked your ass off and you're one of the topped ranked initiates. I'll be honest, I haven't watched your latest data, but I'm sure as long as you think like Dauntless…and I know you can…you'll be just fine. You're amazing and you deserve to be here."
I feel her nod against my chest in response. "I hope so," she says.
The room is silent for a moment before Tris speaks again.
"Eric?"
"Uh-huh?"
"You're not at all who people think you are," she says quietly.
"People think what I want them to think."
"You want people to think you're a heartless, cocky, ass?"
I laugh beneath her.
"Yup."
"Why?" she asks, shaking her head against me.
"I realized a long time ago, that's it's the easiest way to be respected while avoiding having anyone want to get to know me."
She shifts to look up at me.
"Doesn't that get lonely? Not letting anyone in?"
I pause for a moment, contemplating my response. "No."
"No?"
"No. Besides, it doesn't mean I don't let anyone in. It just means I get to be very selective about who I let get to know me."
"Oh," she says, eyebrows creasing.
I use the arm that's underneath her to pull her up towards me, aligning our faces. I lean forward and press my lips against hers, my free hand resting on her waist. God it feels good to be able to kiss her whenever I want.
I pull away and smile at her.
"Selective," I say, looking her in the eye.
"Oh!" she replies, smiling wide at the realization that she is included in the few I've chosen to let get to know me.
She lifts her hand from its current position on my chest and rests it on my cheek, brushing her finger tips across the dermals above my eyebrow. Looking down at my neck, her hand moves, her fingers now outlining my leadership tattoos.
"Did these hurt?"
"Like a bitch."
I watch as her eyes travel across them, examining the tattoos before she leans forward and gently starts peppering kisses over them.
I close my eyes at the feeling of her feather light kisses against my throat and my mouth goes dry. She moves to the row of shapes down the other side of my neck and I sigh subconsciously.
She stops her ministrations abruptly and looks at me. Her eyes widen and her cheeks begin to flush. "Sorry," she says, clearly embarrassed by her boldness.
"Don't be," I reply, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I notice her biting her bottom lip and my mind begins to wander. I shake my head, pushing the thoughts away and smile at her. "We should probably try to sleep."
She nods in response.
"Goodnight, Tris," I say before kissing her one more time.
"Good night, Eric."
It takes a while, but eventually sleep over takes us.
The next morning, I am awoken by the graceful sounds of Tris rummaging around my kitchen.
"Crap," she whispers after a loud noise rings out from a frying pan banging into the stove.
I check the time on my tablet, 10:45am. I can't remember the last time I slept passed 7:00am. I rub the sleep from my eyes before getting out of bed and walking towards her.
Another loud noise erupts from the kitchen as I approach.
"Damnit," she says, no longer attempting to whisper.
"Trying to wake up the entire complex?" I ask her jokingly.
She jumps and spins around to face me. "You almost gave me a heart attack!" she scolds.
"Me? You're the one who woke me up with all the clanging!" I refute.
Her face falls. "Sorry, I was trying to surprise you. I didn't mean to wake you up."
"It's fine. I needed to get up anyways. So what are you making me?"
She shrugs.
"I don't really know how to make anything exciting. Breakfast at Abnegation was usually just a rotation of eggs and toast, oatmeal, and cereal. I was going to go with eggs and toast."
"How far have you gotten?" I ask.
She looks back at the carton of eggs and empty frying pan next to the stove.
"I've barely started," she says sheepishly.
"While I appreciate you trying to surprise me," I say kindly, "since I'm up now, why don't I teach you how to make banana, chocolate chip, pancakes?"
Her eyes brighten immediately and her mouth turns upward into a wide grin. "Really?"
I chuckle at her giddy expression. "Really."
"That sounds way better. God, how did I live so many years without chocolate? I always assumed everyone just ate boring eggs and toast for breakfast but you people were over here using your frying pans to make cake for breakfast."
I laugh. "They're pancakes Tris, it's not the same as cake."
She quirks her eyebrow at me and gives me a pointed look. "They're mini vanilla cakes that you put chocolate chips in and then pour sugary syrup over."
"Okay fine," I concede. "They're basically flat cake."
"Ha!"
"So do you want to make some or just keep debating cake vs. pancakes?"
She smiles, "How do we start?"
"Oh my god, these are so good," she says for the fifth time since we sat down to eat.
I roll my eyes and laugh.
"You've said that already."
"I know, but they are! Where did you learn to make these?"
"My mom taught me when I was little and then when I got older, I'd make them for us every Saturday morning," I say, smiling sadly at the memory.
"Do you ever see your mom? I mean, you go to Erudite sometimes for meetings right?"
There aren't many people at Dauntless who know about my mom. Amar was the one who told me during initiation and a couple of the other transfers overheard, but I haven't talked to anyone about it since that day.
"She passed away shortly after I transferred. The last time I saw her was the day of the choosing ceremony."
Tris tilts her head and looks at me sympathetically. "I'm so sorry, Eric, I didn't realize."
"It's okay, she hadn't really been my mom for a long time before it happened anyways."
She looks at me curiously before reaching across the table and taking my hand in hers.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
"We don't need to talk about this," I say. "You should just go back to enjoying your pancakes."
She shakes her head. "No, she was a part of your life. I want to know. Unless you don't want to talk about it. That's okay too."
Do I want to talk about it?
I take a deep breath. "My mom…she struggled," I say. "She had depression and by the time I was in my early teens she was pretty reliant on alcohol and drugs to help her make it through the day. After I left, I don't know if it was on purpose or by accident but, she overdosed. By the time someone found her, she was long gone."
My eyes water slightly, the emotion triggered by talking about my mom catching me off guard.
Tris looks down at her plate and I can tell she is contemplating what to say. Instead of speaking, she stands up and walks towards me, leaning over the back of my chair and wrapping her arms around me.
"I'm so, so sorry," she whispers in my ear.
I lift her hand to my mouth and kiss it.
"Thank you," I reply simply.
Without another word, Tris returns to her seat and cuts into another pancake. I blink a few times and the tears disappear.
I take a minute to watch Tris devour her pancake. I can't help but smile at her pure delight.
"As much as I'm enjoying watching you, enjoying your pancakes, we'll have to finish up quickly. We're both expected at the final sims in less than an hour."
"Okay," she says, shoving the entire rest of the pancake into her mouth.
I snort and shake my head.
"You are ridiculous, Initiate."
She grins and continues to chew.
Okay folks, a little bit of fluff before we get into the war and whatnot. It's a bit lighter than most of the rest of the story but I hope you enjoyed it! I figured these two needed a bit of time to actually enjoy being together before having to deal with what comes next.
As always, comments/feedback is always welcome! I look forward to hearing from you.
Next post will be next Friday. I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!
-MWB
