Part 9
Half hour, half an hour I've been sat here… waiting for her to show.
Where the hell was she?
I couldn't help but think the worst; he'd started on her again!
Maybe I should have just gone around to hers, just to make sure.
I was sat in the back corner of the dingy coffee shop about a forty minuet drive heading off the strip and into the desert. A little place that I like to call, the stone, that myself and Catherine hid under in order to make sure no one sees us together and finds out that we have something going on. It's the kind of place you'd expect, a family owned wooden shack, with the odd few customers scattered around the place. An old guy in the corner, and couple that look like they had been travelling for the last three days straight and me who probably looks worse than them all.
As I began to wonder if I should head back into the heart of Vegas and go look for Catherine the door opened and the familiar blond walked in, not in her usual happy way – where she was happy to swagger on over with a smirk on her lips. She had her dark sun glasses on, her hair hanging down and her hands pushed into her jeans. I stood up and moved out from the table. "Hey"
She just walked into me, no words and wrapped her arms around me holding on as if she was going to lose me. I put my arms around her waist and we just held each other for the moment. "Baby you okay?" I whispered into her ear. She didn't answer me, she just lent back a little – "Thanks for coming"
"Of course I came…" I was really worried about her now, "How come you wanted to meet me out of here?" I ask. She didn't answer, placing my hand on her lower back I guided her to the table, "Here take a seat…I'll get you a coffee"
"Thanks"
That's what I did, walked over to the counter and ordered two black coffees. The woman passed them over and I paid before taking them and walking back. "Here you go babe" I push one over to her and take my seat opposite. Reaching across I then took her hand in mine – "Cath?" I asked lowly letting her know that there was so much more behind that utterance.
"Always seems like I call you when I'm all fucked in the head huh? And I just expect you to sit and listen to me…"
"Stop" I tell her, "Tell me what happened"
There are a few moments of silence and she lowers her head to look at our hands, "He knows!"
"He knows what?" I ask
"That I've been with someone else" She manages.
"How?" I ask harshly, instantly regretting it, to show her that I wasn't pissed at her I ran my thumb over the top of her hand.
"I don't know he just does…" She looked back up to me, "he doesn't know it's you." Then it hits me, I reached forward and pushed her hair behind her ears before I pulled off her sun glasses slowly. There is a cut just above her eye.
"Fuck" I growled.
"It's nothing" She tells me, "I'm fine"
"Baby you don't look it" I tell her, "He lost it last night huh?"
"He drank way too much…" She tells me, "And convinced himself that I was sleeping with Ryan. Look, he did this and he had no proof just some crazy thought, Sara if he finds out about us he'll kill you. I can't let that happen"
"Wait, are you quitting on me, on us?" I asked her, I was so scared that she would answer yes.
"No, I…I don't know" She tells me.
I think she picked up on just how hurt I was as I sunk back into my chair, letting my hand drop from hers. I was in shock – I'd given so much to her. Put up with so much shit – was she really doing this to me. I just sat there in shock. After a few moments, I got my voice back – "What do you mean you don't know?" I growled.
"I don't want to see you hurt…"
I let out a hate filled laugh, "Too late…"
"Sara"
"no…I think…think I get it…you're breaking up with me…" without letting another beat go I stood up. But before I could move I felt her take my hand, gripping it tightly.
"NO…Sar…"
I just look at her…
"Please, sit…"
"What? make myself comfortable, before you break my heart?" I shoot back.
She leans back with a sigh, "I'm screwing this up more than I thought was possible"
"I don't get you…you rang me, asked me if we were okay. Why the hell would you do that if you were going to end it?" I ask as I sat back down in my seat.
"It's not like that…I don't want to lose you, end what we have but if he finds out…he'll hurt you." She explains.
"Let me look after myself…" I tell her, "right now you're hurting me more than he ever could."
"I don't want to lose you" She explains.
"You're making no sense" I growl again.
"I'm scared" She growls back with as much force. And seeing that fear reflected in her eyes shut me up. I just sat looking at her, reaching forward I took her hand in mine again.
"I'm sorry" I tell her.
She shakes her head and looks to the table.
"What if he finds you?"
"He's scared you bad huh?" I ask my voice now a lot calmer, softer.
"Yeah"
"I promise, I won't let him hurt me"
"How will you stop him?"
"Look, you can't think about stuff like this. I know what I'm getting into, and what the risks are of this. Get me? I know that by been with you I'm risking been beaten to death but your worth it." I explain, "Look at me Hun"
She does, "Sara…"
"Look, you need to tell me now…if you want to end it - do it. Please don't play me"
"I don't" Catherine said, "I don't want to lose you"
"Well then, stop worrying about him…when we are together it's us"
She nods her head, and I lean across and kiss her softly, running my thumb over her cheek and pushing my fingers into her hair.
I had convinced her to leave her car back at the coffee shop and we'd take my car somewhere. "You didn't get much sleep huh?" I asked her as she lent her head against the window.
"No, he argued with me all night" She tells me.
"You should have come over" I tell her.
"I thought about it…" She admits.
I placed my hand on her knee, and continue to drive – she welcomes the gesture as she moves across and leans into me resting her head on my shoulder. I have to admit that I'm scared to hell that she's going to end it all. I have no idea what he'd done to her last night to scare her so much but I hate him more for it. "You know that night you asked me about my brother?"
"yeah?" She asked, opening her eyes now and looking up. I understand why she's shocked, I never talk about my family.
"I…told you he was back in Frisco, at the B and B that my family had." She nodded her head, "Well he called me the other night… wanted me to… come home"
"Go home?"
"Yeah… he's, getting married…and I was kind of…hoping you could come with"
I was going out there I know, I had planned on building up to this but having her nearly end what we have today made me not give a damn. "You want me to go back home with you?"
I shrug my shoulders, "If you can't that's…fine…I…just wanted to…you know"
She moved an arm around my waist, "Sara I love you"
"I love you to babe!"
"I'll see what I can do about getting away with you" She explained.
"I'm sorry if it's all so…sudden. I mean it's a big…"
"Sar…I'm glad that you want me to be with you."
"Really…"
"Yeah…look about …in the coffee shop. He just really got to me last night. He was going off on one about killing anyone he found near me. I'm sorry"
"It's fine; just … don't let him get to you …"
"Easier said…" She mused, she then put her hand on mine, "You really want me with you?"
"Yeah…easier to face my past if there's someone to stop me from going of the rails" I explained, "I want you with me, you're the only person I trust" That was it, me doing what I hate – showing her just how emotionally connected I was. With any lover prior I'd never have admitted that. I'm the cold hard bitch – but some how with her it's different. With her I'm a different person.
We settled into a comfortable silence, the two of us thinking about everything. I'm actually a little worried about her because she's never gone crazy on me like she did earlier. I think this thing with Eddie is starting to wear her down, totally destroy her if I don't do something. I just don't understand what I can do. We continued the drive down the empty dust track – happy to just be with each other.
"Bobby I'll show up later on…" I speak into the phone, "Yes, with Cath" I smirk a little, "No you're not talking to her. I'll talk to you later…bye" I cut my mobile off and pushed it into my pocket.
"Everything okay?" She asks me as she moves her head to rest on my chest. I was sat with my back rested against a tree, Catherine in my arms.
"Bobby wants me to play poker with him and Rob" I tell her with a smirk.
"If you want to…it's fine" She tells me.
"I want nothing more than to be with you…they hustle me anyway" I explain, I run my hand down her shoulder as we both look out over the lake, "Told them I'd catch up later"
Catherine just nodded her head, then after a moment's silence she spoke, "This is beautiful" I smile, and nod, it is. A lake in Vegas, surrounded by greenery, was rare.
"Yeah it is" I tell her.
The two off us had been sat here for a good hour, talking about things – but avoiding the subject of family, husband or past - we just talked about stuff. But I felt like this was the time, to open up to Catherine. "I remember this time when I was a kid. One of the very few times that mom and Dad held it together long enough to leave the house and act like a normal family, they took us to this place in San Francisco. My brother, he loved the water, my dad took us swimming – and that's the only memory I have of us playing happy families. I think that's why I like it up here…you know…I can pretend like, I had the family, the picket fence…kind of life…" I stop let my voice drift off and I just looked out at the rippling water.
"You never talk about your family much" She speaks, and I feel her looking at me, sat round in my arms.
"Not much of a family to talk about" I tell her. "I don't know…" I shrug my shoulders, "I've never told anyone that"
"You can tell me anything" Catherine reassures as she moved one of her hands up my arm.
"That's one of the reasons I love you" I tell her.
"So how did you meet Rich and Bobby?"
"Back in Frisco…they were part of the group I used to hang around with – we all kind of grew up together and then, I moved up here and they came with…"
"They are good guys" Catherine said.
"Yeah they are…" I nod my head. "So what about you how was your childhood?"
"Pretty normal…until I hit eighteen, started stripping and married Eddie, that's when I fucked up. Worst thing that I ever did…"
I just nodded my head, "You have a sister right?"
"Yeah…haven't spoken to her in a few years though…we had a fight, she doesn't approve with how I live my life."
"Sorry about that"
"No need to be sorry – truth is I probably deserved it. I robbed from her, some money to pay for Eddie's drugs. What kind of a person robs of there own sister huh? I'm the screw up of the family." She explained, I hear a hint of regret –I didn't know what to say to that, just held her a little bit closer. "I feel safe when I'm with you" she tells me.
"Same here"
We sat for a further half hour next to the lake in the solitude, before I stirred from the comfortable silence, "Want to head back?" I ask her.
"Can we go back yours baby?"
"You sure?" I ask.
"I just want you to hold me. We could get some pizza, a movie? Just hang out."
I smile, "I like the sound of that."
"Yeah"
"You want to pick your car up?"
"Nah, I'll get it tomorrow…I just want to be with you"
"Where's Eddie?"
"He's gone away…he'll be back tomorrow"
I just nod my head.
The credits rolled across the screen, I looked from the screen to Catherine who was sat at my side – both of us had our legs rested on the coffee table. "Can I get you a drink baby?" I ask as I get up from my seat and pick up the pizza box.
"Beer sounds good" She nodded. I just walked into the kitchen area. Reaching forward as I stood lent against the counter, I picked up a pack of cigarette and took one out lighting up. Then I go about getting the bottles from the fridge before I walk back over to Catherine. I hold out the bottle.
"There you go babe"
"Thanks" She takes it from me. I take a seat so that I am facing her. Moving a little closer so that I can rest my hand on her leg running it softly up and down – She just leans her head on the back of my sofa looking into my eyes. "How much do you hate me for what I put you threw back there?" She asks.
"What?"
"Sometimes I…I hate myself for hurting you"
"Cath stop…don't do this…" I tell her as I pull my hand back, and push it threw my hair – leaning back, "Just… don't"
"Why…I know you hate me for doing this…" She spoke firmly, "…for letting him hit me, for not leaving him for you…"
"Why do you always do this… you know what Cath, I don't get much you and me time and when I do I really don't want to do this." I was getting pissed off now and she knew it. I just lifted the bottle to my lips and drank a mouthful of beer. Then there was silence and I looked over to the TV that was now a blank screen.
After sat here, looking at the screen for god knows how long she moved over me, straddling my lap – she looked into my eyes, "Okay…I'm sorry…"
"Forget it" I tell her.
She took the cigarette from me and dubbed it out on the ashtray that was at my side, and then she threw her attention my way again. The hand that I wasn't holding the beer with fell to her waist and I ran my thumb over her skin. And this scared me so much, that she was able to have such control over me – was able to make me forget, there was no one who ever had a hold on me like she did. Usually I'd turn away, but now, as I looked up into her blue depths I spoke – my voice low and husky. "Kiss me"
She moves her free hand up my body – and to my neck where she pushed it into my hair and then moved forward pushing her lips softly onto mine. My hand moved a little under her shirt at the back – as the kiss deepened.
Sometimes I wonder if I was crazy, if I went out my way to get hurt!
If, in some sick twisted way, I got off on it.
I need therapy, I'm seriously fucked up. Running my hand down her bear skin on her back I hared her steady breathing falter – a sharp intake. I smile played across my lips – I loved when I had an effect like this on her. She had one of her arms draped across my waist and her head rested on the pillow at my side facing me. If I could freeze time then, it'd probably be this moment. Where I could just sit and look at her –
She was so sexy, her swollen lips, her golden hair falling messily and her body so relaxed in my arms. Oh god, this was too much for me. I lent over slightly capturing her lips in mine – I ran my tongue softly over her bottom lip before moving my hand down her soft skin to the base of her back. I felt her sift and turn slightly, a smile formed over her lips before she deepened the kiss by opening her mouth and allowing me access. I groaned into her mouth as I felt her hand slide down my back and pull me on top of her as she rolled onto her back. I pulled back and smiled as she opened her eyes – "Good morning baby"
"Mm, yeah it is…" She smiled back, "That was a great way to wake up"
"You like?" I had my elbows rested at each side of her to hold myself up. "Well baby… get used to it."
"Mm" She lifted her finer and ran it down the side of my face, "Baby… last night was…" Her words faded out into a smirk.
"Yeah…it was" I tell her as I lower myself to her again, "…it really was" I murmured against the pulse on her neck before I began to suck on it.
She groaned, and her hands slid further down into the waist band of my shorts. She tilted her head back and I felt her nails claw at me, With this she then turned – taking me by surprise I found myself on my back with her on top of my as she moved down and kissed me with so much passion. This, here – it was heaven!
"Coffee?"
"Sounds great…" I tell her as I walk into the kitchen area and wrap my arms around her waist resting my head on her shoulder. I could smell the shampo in her hair making me remeber the shower that the two of us had shared. It was funny, this, it was what i drreamed of. The two of us living a life like this, a normal life, where we drank coffee in the morning, slept in the same bed, woke up in each otehrs arms and were happy. Nothing got in our way, and our arguments consisted of what to watch on tv and who's turn it was to cook - that was it.
"Mm, hey…"
"Hi" She continues to go about making the coffee as I hold onto her, i don't want to let go because as soon as i do i know that the dream comes to an end becuase at some point in the too near future we were going to have to jump into my car and i'd have to drop her off at that coffee shop - at her car so that she could drive back home and begin her life with him again.
"Baby…are you in a good mood?" I ask.
"yeah…a real good mood…why?" Catherine asked.
"Because…I kind of…have something to tell you"
"Which is?" She asks.
"That I have a guy moving in here with me" i keep my face a seriouse as i can.
"really?" She asked, with a raised eye brow
"Yeah…" I smiled as I kissed her neck, "Rich is staying here with me till he gets better"
"That sounds good…"
"You okay with it?"
"Yeah…why wouldn't I be…"
"Just because…" I shrugged "I just wanted to run it past you"
"Well consider my ran past, and I'm still in a good mood" Catherine smiled, then she turned around in my arms so we were now facing, she was pressed into the counter.
"Thanks"
"What for…"
"Just, thanks" I tell her with another shrug. I then lower my one hand from her waist and move it to my jean pocket – "I have something for you"
"For me?" She asked. I nodded my head; I was a little nervous, okay more than a little. I actually think that my hand is shaking.
Taking it from my pocket I held it out to her, "I just…I want you to have it"
She opened her hand and I dropped it into her palm – for a few moments there was silence as she just looked at it. Then she looked up at me, "Your key?"
I nodded my head, "yeah…"
"You…" She stopped and looked down at the key. Yes, big commitment step for me, and she knows it. I shrug my shoulders, "I trust you, I love you. That's all that there has to be for me to know this is what I want. Look, you can come and go as you want – and if, and I mean if he ever, starts to lose it and I'm not around all you have to do is come over here and let yourself in." It was all I wanted, for her to be safe – this way I figured, if he ever hurts her and I'm not around she still has a place to be where she's safe.
"Sara…I…"
I was afraid what she was about to say, so I responded - "You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love you" I tell her in a rush.
"God…I love you to…" She smiled as she pulled me into her kissing me.
Oh, relief, I wasn't sure how it would have gone…but thank god…it went well.
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"More than sure…I gave it a lot of thought for a while now and last night just showed me what you mean to me. I really, really don't want to lose you Cath…"
She just lowered her head to my shoulder and I noticed a tear. "You're crying? Shit…I mead you cry?" I ask her as I run my hand up her back comfortingly. Inside, dieing – what the hell did I do?
"No…well…I…yeah" She murmured, "Happy Crying"
"You sure?" I ask.
"More than sure"
I smile now, as she leans back and looks into my eyes pressing her lips into mine.
TBC – thank you all so much for the reviews. I'm having a lot of fun with writing this one and knowing you guys like it makes it that much better. Thank you! SV
