THE LOST TEST OF THE CHUNIN EXAM: THE ONE THEY DIDN'T SHOW YOU!
DAY 1: THIS SUCKS!
"This sucks…!" Naruto yelled as he, Sakura and Sasuke sat in chairs before an empty desk within a small, cubed and bleakish gray room, "…I never thought becoming Hokage would take me working in a loser joint like this!"
"Quiet Naruto!" Sakura chastised, "The Manager could come in at any moment. We want to make a good first impression."
"So that means leave all the talking to us, loser." Sasuke added.
Just as Naruto opened his mouth to make a comeback to Sasuke's demeaning remark, the door behind the three Genin opened and a short and skinny man possessing large glasses along with a Woody Allen-like aura, stepped into the room carrying a brown clipboard in his left hand, "A-Alright, you three are h-here for the interview, right?"
"Yes, sir, that's us!" Sakura replied with a cute smile making the Manager blush.
"Oh, uh…okay. We'll um, says here on my clipboard, carrying your applications, that your names are Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. Am I right?"
Sakura nodded, "Yes."
The Manager gave a nod as well, "Well, umm… my name is Scott, but everybody calls me by my last name, Mr. Weenymann, because I'm the Manager, get it?" Mr. Weenymann spoke before sputtering out a nervous chuckle in the hope of giving life to his corny joke.
Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura's faces, however, never moved and the three stared, in an awkward silence, at Mr. Weenymann as he stared back, vainly expecting some sort of reaction from his young applicants.
"Well…" Mr. Weenymann cleared his throat, "…let's just get down to business, shall we?"
He adjusted his glasses as he sat down in the chair behind the desk facing Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura while peering at the clipboard in his hand, once again, "Hmm…looks like all of you share the same references, would any of you mind telling me just who is this Hatake Kakashi-guy, anyway?"
Naruto opened his mouth to speak but Sakura interrupted, "Well, he is our mentor and a highly qualified master in his profession of precarious endeavors in covert operations, not to mention a consistent reader of brilliant, exquisite literature."
Naruto leaned over to Sasuke and whispered, "What's with Sakura using the proper talk?"
"Shut up you idiot, she's getting the hard part done for us." Sasuke replied.
Mr. Weenymann nodded at Sakura's response and returned his gaze back to his clipboard, "Now, what makes each of you want to work at a busy and popular institution such as this? I need a clear response from all three of you."
Sakura, naturally, was the first to respond, "Well I believe that I bring knowledge, discipline and pretty face to serving the needs of our customers."
Mr. Weenymann nodded, "Good. Now Sasuke."
Sasuke cleared his throat, "Well...I work hard, don't like to talk too much and, uhh…that's pretty much it."
Mr. Weenymann gave a satisfied shrug, "Eh, good enough. Now, your turn, Naruto."
Sasuke and Sakura gave a nervous glance at each other as Naruto, who sat between them, crossed his arms while pondering his answer, "Well…uh…I have a cool swirling tattoo on my stomach!"
Sasuke and Sakura nearly choked at Naruto's response but Mr. Weenymann gasped, "Really? I love those things! My Internet girlfriend was thinking of getting one too!"
The three took deep sighs of relief at Mr. Weenymann's reaction, and Mr. Weenymann, himself, giving off a wide smile, stood up from his desk and walked over to the door behind Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura, "You know what? You three have showed me that you're worthy enough and have what it takes to work in the world's greatest workplace! My friends…welcome to McDonalds!"
"THIS IS THE BEST JOB EVER!" Rock Lee yelled as he led an aerobic routine amongst a class of chubby people within Gold's Gym, "I GET FREE EXERCISE AND MONEY AT THE SAME TIME! I MUST BE IN HEAVEN!"
Tenten and Neji, however, stood at a distance, wearing their Gold's Gym employee uniforms, while watching their enthusiastic team member continuously drill his already sweating customers to the point of near death.
"I wish I had his kind of employment enjoyment. Hey, that rhymes…employment—enjoyment." Tenten smiled.
Neji moved his head away; "This is all of waste of time if you ask me."
Tenten patted her partner on the back, "Hey, try to loosen up and take advantage of this, Neji. At least we can get really ripped while working here. I already found a secret stash steroids beside the empty weight benches of some bodybuilders and the equipment backrooms are stacked with kegs of creatine."
Neji shrugged, "Whatever. I'm going to go help that kid over there struggling with his bench press before he kills himself."
"Suit yourself." Tenten spoke as Neji walked away. Then, she peered around to see if anybody was looking and pulled out one of the bottle of steroids that she had mentioned. Opening the lid, Tenten poured two pill-shaped tablets into her hand then popped them in her mouth.
"Now this is my kind of workout." She smiled, swallowing down the tablets then flexing her arm to reveal a sudden massive bicep.
Hinata grimaced as she struggled to hold the large Pepperoni Pizza on a pan, that she carried, while dodging the incoming hordes of various young children as they ran about playing and causing an even greater ruckus within the already rowdy Chuck E. Cheese where she, Kiba and Shino were working.
She managed to make her way to a table that was seated by another gang of unruly children, clad in party hats, and the tired, worn-out parents who tried to corral and sedate them. Laying the pizza in front the child bearing the greatest epicenter of attention and the biggest party hat, Hinata used her Byakugan to decipher the barely legible handwriting on the child's nametag in order to address his special event, "Here's your pizza and umm…Happy Birthday…Billy?"
"My name is Jimmy, you jerk! And I wanted Chuckie to give me pizza, not you!" The young child replied snidely.
Hinata formed a weak smile, "Uh, well…I'm sorry but Chuckie is kind of busy at the moment and—"
"I WANT CHUCKIE! GIVE ME CHUCKIE! I WANT CHUCKIE!" The young child cried, gaining the similar chants of his fellow peers, as he grew louder.
"For the love of God, just give them the rat!" A parent yelled in desperation.
A nervous Hinata nodded and turned about to seek and retrieve her workplace's respected patron from somewhere in the depths of the pre-pubescent hell of laughter, spoiled brats, deafening arcades and pizza. Eventually finding him running away from a troop of violent and screaming eight-year-olds, Hinata yanked the Chuck E. Cheese mascot to safety, as he approached, from her position behind the shadows of an out-of-order token machine.
"Are you okay, Shino?" Hinata asked gravely.
A panting Shino, threw off the Chuck E. Cheese mask to reveal a face dripping in sweat, "Hinata, please…kill me…I can't take it anymore!"
"C'mon Shino, just hold on…one more family needs to see you." Hinata assured uneasily, never seeing this part of her cohort's personality before.
Shino shook his head, "No! No way! These kids are not of this world!"
Hinata took a deep sigh, "I wonder how Kiba is doing?"
Meanwhile, in the Chuck E. Cheese kitchen…
"KIBA!" The Chuck E. Cheese manager yelled as he approached Kiba, who had been kneeing a stack of dough on a countertop prior, "I've been getting reports from customers saying that they're finding dog hair in the pizza! Do you have any explanation for this?"
Kiba chuckled, "Hey, don't worry, Bob, it's just a new type of cheese that came in today."
The manager raised an eyebrow, "Well…okay son. Just keep up the good work!"
With that, the manager, Bob, turned around and exited the kitchen. Kiba, however, turned to a deep pot of pizza sauce that laid nearby on the counter and smiled, "That was a close one, eh Akamaru?"
Kiba's loyal companion emerged from the pot, covered in the red and pasty substance, and gave a replying bark.
"Hello and welcome to the Krispy Kreme Donutshop! My name is Ino, how may I help you today?" Ino exclaimed amiably from behind a glass counter as a timid-looking customer entered into her workplace. Shikamaru, stood beside her, yawning unenthusiastically while scratching the itchy cotton of his new Krispy Kreme employee uniform.
The customer, however, seemed somewhat uneasy as he made his way to the counter and had barely opened his mouth before Ino barraged him with offers, "Would you like to try our new Bavarian Glazed Donuts? Or maybe you would like to try some German Chocolate-filled, crème covered, deep fried Bear Claw donuts, instead? But you look like a man who might be interested in something like our new navel-sized donutholes that are so small you can eat them out your navel while conveniently engaging in some other activity!"
Ino finished her statement with a wide yet somewhat disturbing smile that made the shy customer even more nervous as he stood before the glass counter and turned his gaze into its enormous displaying view of different sized, shaped and flavored donuts, "Umm…I-I think I'll have just one regular glazed donut, if you don't mind?" He muttered.
"Sure!" Ino yelled then rubbed her elbow into Shikamaru's nearby torso, "Give the customer what he wants…Shikamaru!" She mumbled between her teeth.
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever."
With that, the sardonic Genin made his way to the back of the Donutshop while Ino remained at the front, still flashing her bright smile at the uncomfortable customer. Entering the kitchen, Shikamaru found his co-worker, Choji, sitting on the ground, his mouth covered with chocolate, glaze and sprinkles, amidst a surrounding plethora of empty baking pans and supply boxes.
"What the crap! Choji, what happened here! Where are all the donuts?" Shikamaru asked.
"What donuts?" Choji replied innocently.
"The donuts that were stacked or baking in this kitchen minutes ago."
Choji shook his head, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb with me, wide-load! We work in a freaking Donutshop!"
Choji remained quiet.
"Don't tell me…that you ate them all!" Shikamaru exclaimed furiously.
Choji lunged at Shikamaru's legs, hugging them tightly as he began to burst into tears, "I'm sorry, Shikamaru! I have a problem! There was just so many, and-and…I-I couldn't control myself!"
"What's going on here, we've got a customer waiting?" Ino yelled as she entered into the kitchen.
"Choji, here, ate all the donuts." Shikamaru sneered.
"WHAT?" Ino shouted then grabbed Choji, by the collar, from Shikamaru's legs and began slapping him across the face while yelling insults, "You—fat—idiot…! Don't—you—ever—get—tired—of—EATING?"
Throwing Choji onto the ground, Ino pulled out her kunai knife from inside her employee blouse, "I swear…if I have to gut those donuts out of you to make my first sell...!"
"Whoa, whoa, Ino! Let's try and talk about this!" Choji cried.
"It's too late, anyway. I think our noise scared away that sissy of a customer that we had." Shikamaru sighed as he pointed to the empty counter.
"Great! Just great!" Ino pouted.
Then a loud and strange grumbling suddenly sounded in the air and Choji rubbed his stomach, "Hey, is it me, or are any of you guys feeling hungry?"
"For the last time, you three can't work here!" The manager of Starbucks, a young man of barely twenty, bellowed as he stood before Gaara, Temari and Kankuro in the storefront.
"And I'm telling you that we are, whether you like it or not." Gaara replied.
The manager chuckled, "Look kid, enough with the pomp. If you three think that you can just waltz in here and automatically expect me to give you jobs with a little attitude, then forget it! Besides, we're completely full with employees now, anyway."
"Oh really…?" Gaara muttered.
Suddenly, from an unknown ethereal expanse, tons of sand encased the Starbucks employees that were already working and crushed their bodies with a gruesome constriction before evaporating away along with the victims' remains.
"Wha-What happened? What did you just do?" The manager cried.
Kankuro grinned, "I suggest you start hiring new people, starting with us."
"After all, it would be a shame for this location to run out of business and any other surviving employee." Temari added.
The manager began to tremble, "S-Sure, whatever you say. J-just don't hurt me!"
"Good, now that wasn't so hard now, was it?" Gaara condescendingly inquired.
TO BE CONTINUED
