A/N Heyy guys! LONG TIME no see? So yeah…don't hate me…I can explain. Well, okay sympathize with me here, people. I bet most if not all of you have gone through long periods of fanfiction withdrawal…I mean the work load from school has become freaking INCREDIBLE and ya know the whole having a life, boyfriends, friends, family, even my cat piles up and it's fantastically hard to keep up with it all, so unfortunately…my fanfic stories suffered. I honestly can't tell you how frequent I'll start updating again, but this story can be used as a tension relief, since I quite enjoy writing it, so this one will probably continue to be updated the most now that I've come back on the site for a while. I came because I read some of the reviews and I felt guilty for leaving this story like this lol…so remember to REVIEW! I think I'll write 2 more chapters after that, then that's all for this parody .

Disclaimer: Harry Potter the property of Ms. J.K. Rowling…if you were not aware of this…please leave.

So I had to go back and re-read this story that I started literally like 2 or 3 years ago so I could get back into the really sick frame of mind I was in when I wrote it. Thank you, once again for putting up with my disgusting sexual references and remember if you can't stomach this…DON'T READ IT!

Oh…and if any of you by any wild chance also read The Unknown Malfoy or Rivendell High…Well Rivendell High is actually all written out on paper…along with ¾ of a SEQUEL…so maybe I'll type that up someday…as for The Unknown Malfoy…there's seriously only like 1 or 2 more chapters left so I WILL finish it very soon damnit, because it'll be my first FINISHED fanfic…sadly…lol.

Enough about me though, let's get back to the sick and twisted game of Truth or Dare: Wizard Style!

The winner of the "truth" in this chapter is……..

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…………purtyinpink71121!……………

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS!


McGonagall strutted into the hall…looking like a bald French maid. Her legs were covered in fishnets and her sagging breasts were pushed so far up that they dangled over the hem of her black and white maid dress. In one hand she clutched a featherduster, and yes she was completely bald.

Hermione slowly fluttered her eyes open, gradually recovering from her orgasmic experience with Hogwarts, A History, and gasped.

"She's so beautiful!" sobbed Dumbledore, "Minnie…Minnie come back to me!"

"She's so…hairless…" cringed Sirius.

Ignoring them both, McGonagall bent over the wide-eyed Hermione, purposely exposing her semi-wrinkled ass to the public.

"My head's not the only thing I shaved, kitten," she purred at Hermione, who looked like she was about to pass out from desire.

"Why do girl's shave themselves down there?" Peter inquired offhandedly to Sirius and Remus, "I mean…I wouldn't really know, but I think I'd like it hairy."

"You'd like it anyway you can get it," commented Sirius.

"And HOW do they do it anyway?" persisted the ignorant Peter, "I mean…with a RAZOR…what if they miss and…and chop something off…"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" shrieked Danielle.

"AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, THEY WAX IT!" Dumbledore screamed indignantly, "I know, I used to be a professional Brazilian waxier before my headmaster days…I cleaned those pussies good…I still do it a little on the side these days, Ginny Weasley, for instance—"

"EW!" cried Ron, "YOU SHAVED MY SISTER'S VAGINA?"

"No…I WAXED your sister's vagina…haven't you been listening?"

"MY REAL NAME IS DONNA!" 'MG,' sobbed into a bewildered Snape's shoulder.

"WHAT?" he cried, "HOW COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM ME…YOU…YOU WHORE!"

"SHUT UP! PLEASE EVERYONE, SHUT UP!" Danielle roared, "McGonagall, Hermione asked you a question I suggest you answer it NOW!"

"Truth," McGonagall responded, her voice sultry as she fluttered her eyelashes suggestively at Hermione…who couldn't seem to coherently respond.

"Okay, bring on the assistance," yawned Rachel, snapping again and causing quite a pretty girl to materialize.

"I know the drill," she said quickly, "My name is Skye. And ask McGonagall if she was really a virgin when she met Dumbledore…I mean come on, if so that's quite sad."

"…I think I'm in love with this girl." Declared Remus.

"Hey, no way you can't have a hot girl!" exclaimed Sirius.

"You want a hot girl, big boy?" smirked Skye sauntering over to Sirius and sitting in his lap.

Sirius grinned widely, "You know it, baby."

"BITCH!" shouted Danielle scrambling over to them, "Get off of him or get outta the hall!"

"Oh, I'm sorry do you own the great hall?" replied Skye coolly. Danielle grit her teeth and slapped her right off of Sirius's lap.

"FUCK!" shouted Skye, pulling Danielle down to the floor with her by the hair and punching her in the stomach.

"Two hot girls…fighting each other…over me…" Sirius leaned back in ecstasy, "all that's missing now is pudding…"

Meanwhile, Ron had slowly started licking up co-host Rachel's neck and she became involved in yet another steamy snogging fest on top of the faculty table so Hermione and McGonagall were left to fend for themselves.

"I…was not a virgin…" McGonagall trembled, "Before Albus…I was RAPED."

"RAPED?" gasped all those not involved in either a fight or a make out session, which now excluded Donna and Snape as Snape had handcuffed her to the back of Dumbledore's dining chair and started applying whip cream all over her.

"Yes!" McGonagall cried, "In my bed! Here at Hogwarts, only a few years ago…well…not exactly in my bed…" she blushed, "I had falled asleep underneath some playboy magazines in the Gryffindor common room and…"

"THAT WAS YOU!" Draco shrieked, horrified, "You were sexy playboy maiden in the Gryffindor common room who I fucked with a champagne bottle AND my dick?"

"YOU RAPED ME!" shrieked McGonagall, "You raped a teacher! That's it Mr. Malfoy…I've no choice but to…to rape you back!"

"Rape me…back? What the hell are you talking about?" asked Draco, slowly backing away from the French maid clad senior professor.

"Since you have no dick, this'll have to do!" McGonagall shouted sadistically as she shoved her feather duster up Draco's ass, "FEEL THE WRATH OF MY VIBRATOR!"

"YOUR FEATHERDUSTER VIBRATES?" moaned Dumbledore, "Aw Minnie, SHOVE IT UP MY ASS!"

"DUMBLEORE!" Ginny Weasley sang out as she entered the great hall in a slutty Minnie mouse costume (complete with mouse ears), "I CAN BE JUST AS GOD AS MINERVA…LET ME SHOW YOU HOW GOOD I CAN BE! The way you waxed my pussy…I want more. I want you to pour hot wax all over my body and pull it off and when you wax my boobs pull it off so hard you can take my nipples with it if you like!"

Thankfully, Ron was too busy making out with Rachel to hear this.

But McGonagall left the violently vibrating featherduster up the now very enthusiastic Draco's ass and came over and kissed Ginny hard on the mouth. Immediately Dumbledore ran over to join in the hottest threesome of his life as Harry burst out into dance to Fergie's "London Bridge" in the background.

"Ginny!" gasped out McGonagall, "Ginny, darling…truth or dare?"

"Dare, of course!" grinned Ginny, "Dare me something dirty, Mamma G…you know how I like it dirty…"


A/N Oh wow…it feels weird to write this stuff again after so long lol. Maybe that's why this one was so short. Only 2 more chapters left, people. So if you'd be so kind as to REVIEW what dirty deeds you'd like to see lil miss Ginny perform, it'd be much appreciated. Or you know, just REVIEW to make me happy to return after such a long break. once again, I'm very sorry for the extreme shortness.

A Very Special Thanks To: GingerNCeline, lil miz pureblood, Lorelei Star, sweet raptured light, tahomafont, dreadlockedpencil, PiecesofDecember (which, I must say, I think is one of the coolest pen names, EVER), divinething, MrS-SiRiUs-BlAck, ashlitamalfoy, Cheese the Crazy Dancer, snitchette, ExtraordinaryGirl09, singing-lover29, Megan, dude, Weasleylover35753 (yayy Rachel!), anime sci-fi chick who loves books, Violet Kefira, Krispykreme1468, Living it up, QueenFreaK, entrancer, tavi, ginny-wannabe, terratasha, PsychoticDeath, major issues 4 life, stone, Lady Silverhawk, luniepoo, MG25C (DONNA! ), PusanGal, hermione obsessed fan, purtyinpink71121 (Ms. Skye!), theLastBLACK17, BlackMystick, Rowling Writer. & Norbert the Dragon.