Billy woke up first to find Jason sprawled out on his bed next to him, fully clothed and snoring softly. Billy smiled and allowed himself to give Jason a brief once over before he carefully slid out of bed to get a shower and change clothes. While in the shower, he allowed his mind to run over their conversation from before they succumbed to exhaustion. Jason had pledged himself to Billy if it meant saving him, and that moved Billy beyond words. He finished off his shower, changed clothes in the bathroom and slipped downstairs.
Billy started some coffee, which he could still have since he always took it black and strong. His father came in just as Billy had sat down with a fresh mug of java and the day's paper. "Hi dad, there's fresh coffee if you want it." Billy sipped his coffee and sighed at the normalcy of the day when he knew nothing was the same anymore.
Lance Cranston took in his son's appearance with caution, and wondered why Jason wasn't up yet since both young men were early risers. "Is Jason still asleep?"
"Yes, he fell asleep after I did. I was exhausted and slept on top of the bed fully clothed, so did Jason. I didn't have the heart to wake him up." Billy looked at his father askance, since there seemed to be an unspoken accusation in his question. Instead he passed him the sports section and continued to read the news. Lance didn't know what to say to his son, since there were obvious changes to him physically as well as whatever he now felt like mentally.
"Father, please stop staring at me I don't care for it. If there's something you want to say, please just say it." Billy said as he looked up at his father and gave him a glare. He wasn't in the mood for anyone to study him like some creature especially over coffee in the morning.
Lance cleared his throat and took a hearty swallow of his coffee before he spoke. "Sorry son, I'm just not sure how to talk about what happened to you. I'm sorry Billy; I just wish I knew what to say." Lance peered into his mug while Billy looked at him solemnly for a while.
"Dad, there's nothing to really say. I survived, the Rangers helped me get back on my feet and now I just need to figure out if these changes are permanent or not. They will probably be in touch to see if I need additional medical attention, but until then I'd like things to go back to normal, if that's alright with you." Billy rinsed out his mug and went to his father's side for a moment. He looked at Lance with a bit of sadness in his demeanor as he gave his father a hard hug. "This is hard to deal with father, for everyone involved, please let me deal with it ok? Now I'm going to see if Jason is up so we can get some breakfast."
Lance returned his son's brief hug then stood up as he got ready to start his day. "I know it's hard for you son, I'm just a little lost on what to do. I'll see you boys later; we have an audit going on so I have to go in to the office for a while. Call me there if anything comes up."
Lance shocked his son by giving him another brief hug and a peck on the cheek on his way out the door. Billy stood there for a moment, not sure what to make of his father's odd behavior but he shook it off and went upstairs to find Jason fresh out of the shower and clad only in his jeans.
Billy looked away from Jason's state of undress and looked out the window while Jason finished getting dressed. "Morning Jase, there's coffee made and I figured we could go get some breakfast." Billy turned around and found himself about a foot away from Jason. He swallowed hard and looked up into Jason's midnight eyes, and hoped nothing had gone wrong since the previous night. "What's the matter?"
Jason smiled a bit and gave Billy a caress on the cheek. "Nothing, I just find it sweet that you blushed when you came in to find me half dressed. You do realize if your urges come up again, you'd see more than that. I just find it adorable that you are still so shy around me, we've had gym class together Billy, it's not like you haven't seen all of me." Jason stopped speaking as he realized Billy had gone board stiff and silent. He looked down to realize his friend was quietly gazing at him and had a far off look in his eyes. Billy looked up at him, but Jason didn't think he was present and accounted for. He waved his hand in front of Billy's face but he didn't get a verbal response, instead he felt a light touch to his chest and looked down and caught Billy right before he attempted to sink his fangs into Jason's chest.
"Hold it! Billy, snap out of it!" Jason shouted as he pushed Billy away and held him at arms length. Billy looked at him with a feral smile and tried to get within reach to bite Jason. "Dammit Billy, snap out of it! What's come over you?" Jason pulled Billy around so he could get a grip on him and keep himself from being a mid day snack.
Billy struggled in Jason's grip for some time until Jason's words finally seemed to reach him. Billy slid down to the floor and looked mortified at what he nearly had done to Jason. He scrambled back and wedged himself between his bed and the wall and did not move. "See… I told you this would happen Jason, I told you I'd hurt you. I tried to attack you… like you were prey." Billy wedged himself into the space even more while he refused to acknowledge Jason's presence. "Please, leave me be Jason, I told you I can't be trusted to not harm you. What if I'd bitten you, would you still be so willing to toss your life away for me, or better yet for whatever monster I've become? Maybe Tommy was right about me." Billy whispered the last bit of his rant with a bitterness that Jason could almost feel from where he stood.
Instead of allowing Billy to wallow in self pity any longer, he reached down and pulled Billy to him in a hug which shocked his friend as well as silenced his recriminations. Billy was stiff in Jason's arms and would not allow himself to relax; Jason to his credit loosened his hug but only enough to peer down at his friend intently. "William Alexander Cranston, you will stop beating yourself up. Tommy was not right; you are not a monster any more than I am. Hush, not another word of self loathing from you Cranston. I'm going to let go and you will not run from me, you will not hide from yourself; what you're going to do is sit down and explain what drew you to trying to make breakfast out of me. If you won't do that then I'm going to sit down and keep you here until you talk to me Billy. We've been friends too long for you to hold things in, especially when it involves you making a snack out of me. Now what is going to happen when I let go?"
Billy growled under his breath, he hated dealing with emotional things and Jason was not going to let him out of this. "We'll talk about what happened. I'll sit like a good boy and talk Jason. Let go, I won't run any more." Billy found himself released from Jason's grip and he sat down on the floor of his room and looked up at Jason with dullness in his eyes that worried Jason as he sank down and joined Billy.
"Bill, I didn't want you to shut down on me I just want to know what made you attack me. Please don't think I ordered you. Just talk to me Billy, I want to help and I can't if you won't talk to me."
Billy nodded and started to talk once Jason was finished, he knew if he didn't start talking he'd just sit there in angry silence with Jason until he gave in. Better to get it over with now instead of causing a rift between him and his best friend. "It was the rhythm of your heartbeat. I could hear it, the thumping of it called to me. Not the blood, but the power of its rhythm hypnotized me Jason. When you waved your hand in front of my face it barely registered, all I cared about was getting to the source of the rhythm. I'm so sorry Jason, I lost control again and I could have killed you if I'd gotten my teeth into you.
I'm scared Jason, truly scare of what I'm becoming. I dreamt I sprouted huge wings last night, I'm surprised dad didn't come running because I swore I was really screaming from the pain in my nightmares. I woke up and didn't know where I was for awhile, at least until I went downstairs and relaxed for a while. I don't want to hurt anyone Jason, I don't want to wake up some fucking monster; all I want is to be myself again."
Billy went silent finally, as he hugged his knees to his chest and looked over to his friend. Jason didn't say anything; he just pulled Billy into a hug and let him know how he felt without speaking any more. As he expected Billy pulled away and turned away from Jason; intent on wallowing in his self pity for the time being. Jason sighed and left Billy to sulk while he went out and got them something to eat. Jason came back to find Billy had come down to the living room and was flipping through channels with no obvious choice in mind.
Jason put down the bag with their lunch and pulled Billy over to the table the Cranston's have had for so long Billy's dad didn't remember where he got it from. Jason set the food out and waited for Billy to do something, even if it was tell him to leave. All he got was a mumbled "thank you" before Billy tore into the food. Once they had finished eating Billy came over to Jason's side of the table so he could speak his piece.
"I'm sorry about earlier Jason; I was angry at myself and felt rather foolish about my outburst once you were gone. I hope I haven't offended you." Billy looked at Jason apologetically and hoped he hadn't angered his friend.
Jason sighed and leaned back to look at Billy before he spoke. "Billy, I'm not mad at you. I'm angry at the unfairness of the world that things like this seem to happen to you too often. I'm a little annoyed with you, but that's because you won't stop beating yourself up over this. It's not like you ran up and offered yourself to be a feast, it happened and your coping, better than I would be I have to admit." Jason sipped his drink while he let Billy soak that last bit up with that agile mind of his.
Billy tipped his head and looked at Jason oddly. He figured if Jason were in his shoes he'd be much calmer about this and Tommy sure as hell wouldn't have caged him either. Billy snorted at the image of Tommy trying to imprison Jason and soon was on the floor laughing hysterically, which worried Jason since Billy was not a person prone to random bouts of laughter.
"Tell me you had a joke in your head that's really funny, or I'm going to cart you to the Command Center and scan you Billy." Jason hoped that Billy hadn't totally cracked but he knew the strain of his transformation had worn on his friend mentally despite Billy's best efforts to pretend he was ok. Billy sat up and looked at Jason while he controlled the burst of laughter and wiped his face off before he said anything.
"No need to cart me off to the funny farm, not yet anyway. I think I needed that Jason. I had a moment where I saw Tommy trying to lock you up like he did me, and it struck me as funny. I needed that because if I didn't have that laughing fit it would have been a crying jag. I'm ok, really." Billy stood up and dusted himself off before he got some water.
Jason looked at him askance but shrugged before he went up to Billy and looked into his eyes. "Billy, do you trust me?"
"Of course Jason, I trust you with my life." Billy wondered what was going on as they'd done this once already. "What's wrong Jason? You know I trust you, more than I trust myself a lot of times."
Jason smiled and took Billy's hand to lead him back upstairs. He didn't say a word until they were back in Billy's room and he'd shut the door. "So you wouldn't punch me if I gave in to one of my urges. I don't know if it's something about you since your changes or if this is something that's been under the surface for a while but you've been affecting me for a while, I can't help but want to touch you, kiss you and do other things that might make you blush if I told you."
Jason sighed and let his forehead rest on Billy's but kept his hand on Billy's chest in case he zoned out and tried to make a snack out of Jason again. Billy looked up at Jason, partially out of fear he may be dreaming and partially because he figured that Jason was affected by something he was doing unconsciously. "Jason, I can't tell you how flattered I am but I think I'm unintentionally making you attracted to me. I'd love to give into my urges and let you do as you will, but I'd feel weird if it wasn't something you truly wanted and just some bizarre pheromone attraction."
Jason kissed his friend on the forehead and sighed. "Damn Billy, why must you over think things? Why can't it just be pleasurable? Why can't this just be about two friends who find each other attractive?" Jason looked into Billy's eyes once more to let him see that it wasn't just pheromones that made Jason want him, but feelings held in check for a while until this strange thing would allow them to be explored, and hopefully returned.
Billy returned his friends gaze, and realized it wasn't just rampant hormones from either of them, but there was the truth right in front of him for the taking… was he going to take Jason up on it or run away from something that might hurt in the long run? They stared at each other for a while before Jason decided to take a chance and show Billy with no doubt what he wanted.
