Author's note: Most of the time the story will probably be in Kenny's point of view, but this chapter I decided to write it in Cartman's. And, in case you don't figure it out, when I wrote the dialogue for this chapter I didn't actually misspell anything, I was just trying to write some of the words the way Cartman says them, with his weird accent and all, though I'm not sure I did such a good job on that. Now, on with the story!

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So far I've heard Kenny beg, whine, bribe, then threaten to blackmail me in order to get me to go on a diet and exercise, which was utterly confusing to me since I've been eating the same way I always have since I was eight. I can't figure out why he suddenly seemed to care so much about my health, but it was bothering the hell out of me. I don't believe, even for a second that he was actually trying to do this because he really did want to help me. Even though Kenny seemed to be better friends with me than he was with Stan or Kyle, that was just because those two were always together, so I was only his best friend by default. I knew he didn't actually like me that much. There had to be another reason, but whenever I asked him what it was he always found a way to avoid answering me.

My curiosity doubled when I found Kenny sitting down behind the school's bleachers after school one day. I hadn't expected to see him there, no one else really hung out behind the bleachers except the Goths who only went there so they could smoke. He was talking to this boy I've never seen before—at least, I don't remember ever seeing him before, but for some reason seemed oddly familiar. He was dressed in black from head to toe, with hair and eyes that were same color as his clothes. It made his pale skin look even lighter, and from where I was standing I could hear his high-pitched voice, but I couldn't make out the words. Neither of them seemed to have noticed me, so I edged a little closer, trying to hear them better.

"--doesn't seem like you've made much progress," I heard the pale, black-haired boy say.

"No, but I'm working on it. He's really hard to convince sometimes," Kenny said. I knew he had to be talking about me. I couldn't think of anyone else.

"You know, I could just brainwash him for you or something like that. You don't really need to convince him." What the hell? I wondered if the black-haired boy was delusional.

"No, that's okay. Cartman might be a complete asshole but he still doesn't deserve to be brain—well, actually, he does, but still, it hasn't been that long yet, he might change his mind soon." The strange, black-haired boy sighed, looking a little disappointed.

"Fine, but you're just making your job harder," he said and started to get up. I took that as my cue to leave and walked away as quietly as I could, not wanting either of them to know I had eavesdropped on their conversation. God, what a weird kid, I thought, as I left the bleachers.

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Today I decided to walk home instead of riding the bus. That way I could try to catch up with Kenny, and maybe try to figure out some of the answers to my questions. I knew that he always walked home from school with Kyle. They both never took the bus, Kenny being poor and unable to pay, and Kyle hating the noise and overcrowded space. Stan usually never went with them because he had football practice, while I always took the bus since I was too lazy to walk.

"Kenneh! Wait up, Kenneh!" I yelled when I spotted him walking down the street, with Kyle at his side. He heard me and stopped to turn around, while I hurried over to where he was.

"What do you want fat ass?"

"I wasn't talking to you, you stupid Jew!" I scowled at Kyle, who was giving me an irritated look. When would he learn that I wasn't fat, I was big-boned? I turned away from him, facing Kenny.

"Kenneh, I want to know why you've been trying to convince me to lose weight all of a sudden! What would you get from it anyway?" I demanded. I don't know why I even cared, but it had been bugging me for a while now. There was just something about it that was really suspicious, and the conversation that I overheard just yesterday made it even more so.

"I told you, Cartman, it's not healthy to eat the way you do. I'm just trying to help you," Kenny said, shrugging. I wasn't sure if he was lying or not, it was kind of hard to tell when he had that orange hood covering his face.

"So why are you trying to help me?" I asked. Kenny rolled his eyes at me, looking exasperated.

"Look fat ass, just accept the fact that maybe he's trying to help you because he actually cares. Just because you're incapable of feeling and would never do that for someone else unless you got something out of it doesn't mean that everybody else is like that!" Kyle snapped. He looked like he was getting pretty impatient, probably from having to hear Kenny and I argue about the same thing all week.

"Nobody asked you, Kyle, so shut your goddamn Jew-mouth!" I yelled at him. I turned back to face Kenny again, but before I could repeat my question he interrupted me.

"Cartman, if you want to know the real reason why I want to help you so badly, then I'll tell you—" Kenny started to say, surprising me. I hadn't thought he would give in so fast—"But only if you lose weight first," he finished. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

I glared at him, angry because I knew that there was no other way I could get him to tell me, and no other way I'd be able to find out more about the strange boy I had seen the other day, unless I agreed. So, even though I was super pissed off and really hated Kenny at the moment, I had already made up my mind.

"Fine, I will."

"What?" Kenny asked, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"I said fine, I will!" I scowled at him. As much as I hated the idea of going on a diet and actually exercising, I had to know Kenny's real reasons for trying to get me to start losing weight. I wasn't sure why, but I felt like it was something that I needed to know. Plus, maybe I did need to lose some weight. Not that I would ever admit it.

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End of Chapter Two

I hope you liked the chapter, please review! This one took me a lot longer for me to write. The next one is gonna be where the slash starts.