"Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky." - Hafiz


"Voila!"

The garment bag fell away in front of Lacey's eyes.

Her mom held the hanger up high, still clad in her Baylor's Cargo uniform.

"Della said her daughter just wore it once for junior prom a few years ago. Not too shabby, huh?"

Lacey had to brace herself against the grimace that was pricking at the corners of her mouth. She didn't want to show that she was, in any way, less than thrilled with the potential homecoming dress her mom had borrowed off a coworker's daughter.

But a mom knows anyway. "Lacey," she sighed, "come on. I know it's not Lord & Taylor, but if we want to spend on a prom dress later, we're gonna have to be resourceful for homecoming now." She walked over and draped the dress on the couch. "Look at it in a better light."

Lacey did as she was asked, though the view wasn't much better.

From the empire waist down, the satin skirt really was a pretty shade of blue, iced by a layer of tulle. The problem was the bodice, which was navy blue velvet with quarter-size, hideous blue rose appliques dotting it.

"It would be nice, Mom, if we could just…," Lacey trailed off.

"Ditch the roses? I know." Darlene stood alongside Lacey and regarded the dress again. "They kind of look like big eyeballs, don't they?"

Lacey snorted with laughter and was joined by her mom.

"Okay, look. It's not that bad," Mom tried on a straight face again. "Della showed me pictures of Belinda wearing it, and I promise it looks better on than it does on the hanger."

"How about this?" Lacey suggested. "We buy it from her. Still less than I'd pay to buy a dress from a department store…and remove the roses? Then it could be really cute. I mean, how can you ever go wrong with blue velvet?"

Her mom sighed, thinking. "I guess I could tell Della we just really love it so much we want to buy it. I mean what's it been doing all this time in her closet anyway? Collecting dust? Belinda's in college."

"Good plan!" Lacey clapped her hands together. "We pull off the roses and I'm happy. It's a pretty classic style. I don't know that anything else about it necessarily screams 1994."

"Oh wow, is that gonna be your homecoming dress?!" Ariel skipped down the stairs, nose wrinkled. "Those roses are uglyyy..."

"Yes, Ariel, we know, and thanks for pointing it out again," Lacey rolled her eyes. "But we've got a plan. You ready for the game?"

"I'm ready, but Halen's still fixing her hair."

"Halen!" Lacey went to the stairs and called up.

Darlene collapsed onto the couch next to the dress, leaning her head back on the sofa and closing her eyes, looking exhausted. "Remind me why you're going to this scrimmage again? Max and Davy aren't even playing."

Lacey shrugged. "The twins say they want to go to more hockey games. Davy's taught them a little, and it seemed like a fun thing to do with them tonight if I'm babysitting. By the way, shouldn't you be upstairs getting ready for date night?"

Her mom groaned. "Honestly? The only date night I want is spent on the couch with takeout. I'm completely done for." She rolled over on her side. "I wonder how long I have before Stuart comes in from bowling league."

"I think like twenty minutes, Mom. You'd better hurry up."

It took about as long for her mom to muster up steam to head upstairs as it did for Halen to come down. Lacey had told Max she would be babysitting tonight, which wasn't a lie, but what she didn't tell him was that they would be going to an Eden Hall scrimmage with the Hornets. There's no way she could ever tell him she was going to check on Adam Banks.

The truth was, since she'd kept his Percocets away from him for two solid weeks, she felt a little invested in making sure he was back in the game, literally. And since the twins did want to start attending hockey games after Davy had bitten them with the bug, it was the perfect cover-up.

In the car on the way to the scrimmage, Lacey was quiet, debating whether or not she cared if Adam saw her in the stands. Halen, in the back seat, pressed her nose against the back windshield, staring in awe at the Halloween decorations that had sprung up practically overnight in the neighborhood. "I wonder why we don't decorate like that?"

"Because Dad hates fooling with lights." Ariel slid lower in the front seat, prone to going from good mood to bad in an instant since having her first period earlier in the week.

"Are you cramping?" Lacey asked in a low voice. "When we get home you can use my heating pad. The one you like with the stars on it?"

But Ariel just shrugged, and Lacey gave up. She nearly jumped out of her seat, however, when an Alanis Morisette song came on and Halen shrieked in excitement. "Oh that's my favorite song! Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up!".

But Ariel reached out and, instead of turning the radio up, turned the station completely.

"Ariel!" Halen reached forward to smack her sister but Ariel ducked out of the way.

"We hear that all the time!" Ariel protested.

"Ariel," Lacey glanced over at her little sister in reproof, "That was mean. Turn it back."

"I will after this song," Ariel responded defiantly. "I never hear "Gangsta's Paradise" on the radio anymore."

"Lacey!" Halen turned to her for intervention.

"Ariel, I said turn it back."

"I don't want to."
"LACEY!" Halen whined.

"Ariel, I'm warning you…"

"No!"

"She gets to do everything she wants!" Halen's voice rose an octave.

"Halen, sit down! Ariel, turn the station back!" Lacey's own tone grew louder.

"You're not the boss!"

Everything in Lacey wanted to join the twelve-year-olds in a full-on screaming match, but she regained control. "Okay. Then it goes off." She reached to turn off the stereo.

Silence filled the car.

"We will either listen to something together with good attitudes, or we will listen to nothing. And I'm afraid I am the boss, Ariel. I'm the driver. Both of you are going to stop acting like this right now or we're going back home. Will I be the one to tell Mom and Stuart why we didn't even make it to the game?"

The girls brooded quietly as they continued down the highway. When they arrived, Lacey wordlessly parked the car in the Freedom High School parking lot, which, by now, was nearly full.

"We're late," Halen sighed dejectedly, climbing out of the car.

"We're not that late." Lacey tried to ignore the uneasiness creeping in, and hoped beyond hope that Max wouldn't show up unexpectedly. She fidgeted, tugging her wool skirt down further over her black tights, the cold pricking her legs like little animal teeth. "Ariel, come on," her breath steamed in the night air.

Ariel slinked out of the front seat and trudged toward the arena by herself. Lacey let her, glad to have a short break from the hormone drama.

Halen was right-they were more than a little late. The teams were nearly into the second period by the time Lacey had brushed the snow off their coats, bought the girls slushy Mountain Dews and gummy bears, and found seats. It appeared that the Ducks were in the lead, but Freedom's Hornets were slowly gaining on them.

Lacey was quick to locate Adam Banks' number ninety-nine. She watched quietly amid the noise of the stadium as he sailed across the ice, much faster than he had last time she'd seen him play. She wondered if whatever was ailing him had disappeared. He seemed back to his old playing style, and, whether that was due to the Percocets or not, she was glad.

There. He's all back to normal, and my part in this is over. Lacey sighed in relief. Sure, she didn't like that Adam was taking the pills, but he was clearly going to, and like her mom had said, this wasn't her battle.

As the second and third period marched by, the Hornets pulled ahead, then the Ducks, then the Hornets again. Until finally, the two teams were tied at the end of the period, with only seconds to break it.

Adam once again gained control of the puck and shot across the ice, guiding it masterfully toward the goal.

"Go go go, Adam!" Halen called from beside her. Lacey found it endearing that her sister was cheering so hard for their landlord's son just because of his brief stint taking the toilet paper down from their property. The Hornets' left wing sailed close behind, shadowing him with his stick, positioned and ready to steal the puck at first opportunity.

And that's when Adam's pace suddenly wavered and he fell, hitting the ice gracelessly.

It happened so quickly that Lacey had to blink. Adam slid several feet away, leaving control of the puck to the opposing team.

The stadium went quieter by several decibels as the onlookers shared Lacey's shock. Even the Hornets fans needed a moment to recover from the flabbergasting fumble. Tripping over nothing but his own skates was something you might see out of a nervous freshman on JV. Not Adam Banks, number ninety-nine, NHL material.

He lay still for a few seconds, either too stunned or too embarrassed to move. Finally he attempted to stand, but wasn't quick enough. The Hornets' right defenseman had the puck, and wasted no time slap shooting it into the goal.

The buzzer sounded. The Hornets had, at long last, beaten Eden Hall's Ducks.

Cheers exploded across the rink from the other side of the arena as Lacey stared in silence at Adam who skated back toward Coach Orion, taking his helmet off and lowering his head.

"BOO, BANKS!" someone behind her shouted.

The jeer sent fire blazing through Lacey's veins. Maybe because it felt so familiar.

It was bad enough to make such a huge spectacle of yourself in public, but for someone to put you down when you were already humiliated was the worst feeling ever. The heckling made Lacey so angry that, for several minutes, she almost forgot this was a game, and that the cry of the fan behind her had not been personal to Adam. But she knew what a blow this had to be to him. Even the twins sat completely still beside her, a look of shock on their faces.

People could be so unforgiving, and Adam was a genuinely nice guy. She had borne witness to his kindness three times now, and she'd done nothing to repay him but withhold his pain medication.

Lacey knew what she was going to do next, despite having sworn to herself that she was done meddling. She walked her sisters to the car after helping them gather up empty drinks and leftover gummy bears, and settled them in, cranking up the car so they would have heat. "I'll be right back. No fighting, and keep the door locked. And don't you dare eat that whole thing." She grabbed the bag of gummy bears from Halen and tossed it onto the dash.

Sensing her seriousness, each girl nodded obediently.

Lacey turned and walked toward one of the back doors - the door she knew the guest team left their locker room from. She needed to talk to Adam again, to let him know she understood what it was like for your weaknesses to be visible to everyone, and to propose something to him. Why she felt such a responsibility toward him, she didn't know, but she chalked it up to meddling in things she shouldn't have…and maybe making things worse. And yet, here she was, meddling some more. Lacey was a fixer. Even though sometimes she made bigger messes than she started with, she was willing to take that chance right now. She wasn't ready to give up on Adam yet, especially after what she witnessed tonight.

Several minutes went by, giving way to a faltering moment where Lacey considered walking away. But she'd come this far to talk to him, so she forced herself to wait, pacing a bit and mindlessly kicking at the dead grass close to the door.

Several players began to exit in groups after about fifteen minutes, each peering at her curiously before continuing on to the Eden Hall school bus. Finally, a girl she recognized as Julie came out wearing her street clothes.

"Oh!" Julie paused when she recognized Lacey. "Hi. Lacey, right?"

"Yeah, hey," Lacey smiled nervously. "You guys did great."

"Well," Julie shifted, "we lost it, but we gave it all we had, that's for sure."

"You always do," Lacey assured her.

"Thank you," Julie smiled. "So, what are you doing out here?"
"Um… I was actually wondering if I missed Adam," Lacey ventured carefully.

Julie paused. "Banks? No, he's in there." She switched her bag to her other shoulder, her expression turning slightly suspicious. "Why?"

"Oh, I just wanted to try to catch him before you all left. To…talk," Lacey tried. It was all she knew to say.

"I see. Well I don't think he's really up for talking to anybody tonight." Julie's tone had cooled off considerably since her initial greeting.

"I'm sure he's not. I just wanted to ask him something quickly. I promise it won't take long," Lacey tried to think of how to put together her thoughts, and wondered why Julie's words were suddenly laced with mistrust. "That's not a problem, is it?"

Julie turned back toward the locker room exit, then to Lacey again, lowering her voice. "Listen, I don't want to assume the worst about you. But if you're going to go to Shipley with inside information about our team, specifically whatever Adam's dealing with..."

Lacey's eyes widened, and she bunched up the fabric of her skirt with the clammy hand at her side. "What?"

"Why else would an opposing team member's girlfriend want to have a private conversation with our star player?" Julie's eyes were hard. "It just doesn't add up, Lacey, and like I said - I don't want to assume you mean any harm, but you should know I look out for my teammates, and if I need to warn Adam about talking to you, I will."

It hadn't once dawned on Lacey that this is what her pursuit of conversation with Adam might look like. "No! I… that's not what this is," she stammered. "I honestly don't talk to Max about hockey. Like I said, I don't play it and I don't really even understand it. If he hears about what happened to Adam tonight, I assure you it won't be from me. He doesn't even know I came here tonight."

Lacey couldn't tell if she sounded convincing to Julie at all, but she was telling the truth. Word of Adam's epic screwup was likely to reach Max's ears sooner rather than later. She knew that. But she had no plans to talk to her egotistical boyfriend about another player's humiliating moment, competition or not. Lacey could also see this from Julie's perspective. How could she ever convince the Ducks' goalie that she had no intention of passing along any information about Adam's vulnerability?

Just then, the door swung open and out came Adam, fresh from the shower. His hair was wet and his face flushed.

He stopped short when he saw Lacey.

She wanted to take a step forward and speak, but Julie's suspicions lingered in her mind. Did she really look like some saboteur sent by the Rockets?

Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Um… nevermind," she murmured. "You guys have a good night." She turned to walk away, wishing the ground would swallow her up so she wouldn't have to feel eyes boring into her back.

"Lacey?" Adam's voice sounded behind her.

She turned.

"What did you want?" Adam asked, not warmly but not unkindly.

Julie stood by.

"Tell the bus driver I'm coming if you don't mind, Julie," Adam addressed his friend.

Julie hung behind a second longer, glancing between the two of them, then slowly nodded and turned to go.

Lacey took a deep breath, turning to make eye contact with Adam, willing herself to speak. "I want to help you."

Adam snorted. "Help? You mean like the way you kept my pain pills from me for two whole weeks?" Bitterness dripped from his voice.

"I explained that, Adam," Lacey replied firmly. "I didn't think you should have something you came by illegally. It never ends well. But, in the end, I realized that has to be your decision. I'm actually here right now because I'm sorry about what happened out on the ice tonight. I know how it must have made you feel."

"Oh, do you?" Adam's words were barbed with sarcasm. "You have no idea. No one does, believe me." He shook his head. "I gotta go. Good talk." He began to walk past her.

"Wait." Lacey felt a surge of boldness that projected her voice and stopped Adam in his tracks. He looked back over his shoulder.

"We both know something's wrong, don't we?"

Lacey half expected Adam to turn away from her again and keep walking, but he didn't.

So she kept talking. "And by the way, I know what it's like to make a fool of yourself in front of people you think support you. That's often when you find out that they don't. Believe me, I've spent eight years living my own version of that. It's really, really hard trying to hide something that makes you vulnerable. And it's exhausting."

Lacey was surprised at the tears that sprang to her eyes. In so many ways, she was still hiding.

Adam's hardened jawline began to relax as he turned fully around to face her. "I've never done anything before like I did tonight. Ever."

His voice remained tight. He was still angry, that was plain. But a sadness, a helpless vulnerability, was taking its place.

Lacey gave a slight nod. "You're hurting. And you're trying to manage it in ways that aren't healthy for you. I know I was judgmental when I first saw the pills, and I'm… I'm sorry. Do you still absolutely refuse to see a doctor?"

Adam didn't reply, so she continued.

"It took a while for me to be willing to—for…for the thing I deal with...but I did, and it helped me a lot. You could injure yourself permanently by trying to press through this."

He broke eye contact.

"Why won't you just go see what they say?"

"Because, I don't want to hear it, okay?" Adam snapped. "What will I do if the news is really bad, if it gets in the way of my chances for the draft? I won't listen to someone say I can't play hockey anymore."

"But it's messing up hockey for you anyway, isn't it?" Lacey dared to point out. "What kind of pain is it?"

Adam swallowed hard, hesitating a moment before glancing over toward the locker room door. "It's bad. That's all you need to know."

"... And the meds are the only thing that keeps you going."

Adam nodded. "Yeah, and believe me, I know it's not the best thing to do, but…," he shrugged, "...it's kept me playing so far."

"But don't you think knowing what's wrong is better than guessing? Because who knows that this isn't something that may improve if it's caught and treated properly?" Lacey took a deep breath, concerned how this might sound, but she was going to say it anyway. "If you made an appointment, I could go with you."

"To the doctor?" Adam asked incredulously.

"Yes, to the doctor. Just to offer some support. Like I said, I want to help you."

Adam stared at her a moment. "So, what, now we're suddenly buddies?"

Lacey swallowed. "I'd like to be your friend, yes. If you'll let me."

She tried to keep her tone quiet. All the while they were talking, the door to the locker room was opening and closing, the remaining Ducks making their way to the bus. More than a couple stared at the two of them as they passed.

Adam continued to watch her, uncertainty etched across his forehead. "I still don't get why you care about this so much."

"I told you before, Adam," Lacey replied gently. "You were kind to me when we were kids, when the kids I knew were nothing but cruel to me. And I want to repay that kindness."

Adam let out a breath and pondered for a moment. When he spoke again he said "…So you're serious. About the doctor thing."

"Yeah," Lacey glanced back up at him. "I'm happy to do it. But you have to do your part and pick up the phone and make an appointment."

Adam watched her, fierce suspicion still lingering in his eyes. "And how do I know you won't go tell your boyfriend whatever's wrong with me? It would be just the thing to give him an edge - knowing where I'm weak."

Lacey sighed, starting to feel weary of this and wondering why she'd even bothered. "Adam, I guess you don't know. I can tell you all you want that I have no interest in giving Max anyinformation. He's got a big enough ego as it is. But it's up to you to decide whether or not you believe me."

Adam smirked, obviously amused by her opinion of her own boyfriend.

"So you can always say no, and I won't bother you again. But just know, you're the best hockey player in the conference. And once you make it past this, I think you have everything you need to make the NHL, " Lacey finished candidly.

She saw his cheeks color as he gave a lopsided smile. "Well if you can still say that after tonight, thanks."

Lacey cleared her throat. "So I guess if you make that appointment and choose to take me with you - and that's totally up to you - you need my number."

"Looks like it." Adam surprised her by digging his hands into his pockets, pulling out a pen. "Here." He held out the back of his hand.

"Really?" she laughed.

"Really. I don't have any paper."

Lacey shrugged and pulled Adam's hand under the gleam of the street light as she scrawled her phone number across his skin quickly, then held the pen back out.

Adam nodded resolutely. "Got it. Just give me some time to think about it."

Lacey nodded. "Well, like I said, it's your call. But I'm sincere in my offer, all right?"

The skepticism never quite left Adam's expression. "All right. Well, my bus is leaving, so…"

"Okay. I'd better run, too." She turned away from him and toward her mom's car, but then looked back. "Please just promise you'll think long and hard about it."

"I said I would, and I will."

"Okay then," Lacey nodded before turning and continuing to the car. As she got closer to the Subaru, she could see that her sisters' noses were pressed against the back windshield.

"Ooooh, you gave him your number!" Halen gushed when she unlocked the car door and opened it.

"Hey, how long were you watching?!" Lacey exclaimed.

"The whole time," Ariel replied nonchalantly. "Mom would want us to. And by the way, I knew you liked him.

Lacey cut her eyes to Ariel. "Wrong. I have Max, and I'm happy with that arrangement, okay?"

Ariel smirked. "Yeah, yeah. Adam's cute though, isn't he?

Lacey couldn't help but laugh. "And too old for you."

"I think just about anybody would be better than Max," Halen remarked primly from the backseat. "You should just go on a date with Adam instead."

"What? No! I'm just trying to be a friend to him. He might need me to do him a small favor."

"Since when are you guys friends? I bet Max would love that. " Ariel quipped sarcastically.

Halen giggled.

Lacey sighed and rolled her eyes. "Nevermind. Okay girls…other than that whole thing, what did you like about the scrimmage tonight?"

Lacey half-listened as her sisters yammered on and on about the game using their newly learned hockey lingo - thanks, Davy. But she had Adam, his fall, and his consideration of calling a doctor on her mind now. Offering to help him was a big risk, because who knew if this situation would turn out to be way too much for her to deal with? But the knowledge that she'd tried to do something good for the boy with the maroon scarf was just enough to warm her heart on a cold night.

Adam took a deep breath as he approached the bus full of his teammates. This wasn't going to be easy.

Back in the locker room, he'd headed straight for the showers so he wouldn't have to face anyone. But being cooped up on a bus for twenty minutes, there wouldn't be any place to hide.

As it happened, Adam was the final person Coach was waiting for before giving the driver the go-ahead to pull out. He stared straight ahead as he made his way down the aisle as quickly as his bulky bag would allow, and slumped into a seat toward the back. He knew the quiet atmosphere was due to disappointment in him having thrown the game.

When Adam had made it back to the bench as the Freedom High team cheered in victory, Coach Orion didn't so much as cast him a disapproving look. Instead, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's happened to everyone once, Adam."

Adam had just nodded.

"I know you're not used to missing a beat. But try to cut yourself a break."

As soon as Adam was situated on the bus, he ran his hand over his face. He never wanted his teammates to know how quickly he could always be brought to tears. His sensitivity and urge to cry at times was something he loathed about himself. Lucky for him, pride usually kept his emotions in check in front of other people, and it did so now as the bus pulled away from the curb and Charlie dropped into the seat beside him.

"Don't worry about it, Adam. Things happen when you're moving so fast across ice. I mean, yeah, a win would've been nice, but it was just a scrimmage so…," he shrugged, "I haven't heard anybody say anything about it. I swear."

"Thanks," Adam replied bleakly.

"Yeah," Averman popped up from the seat in front of him. "Twenty percent of us are over it and just wondering what happened between you and Chocolate Drop Eyes back there."

"That her number there on the back of your hand?" Mendoza's dark eyes shone as he turned around from beside Averman.

"Oh, no." Adam put his hand down quickly. "I mean, it's nothing like that. She's just…," he shrugged, trying to think of what to say, "uh, gonna help me with something."

Averman and Mendoza both snorted before dissolving into laughter.

"Oh wow," Mendoza remarked when he could get his breath. "I need help with something too. She got a sister? A cousin? Heck, a neighbor?"

"Shut up," Adam smirked and snatched the hat off Averman's head. "And that's mine."

"Yeah, well, you left it in the locker room. And remember how you tossed mine in the trash last week at lunch?"

The guys continued their banter most of the ride back to school, and Adam managed to temporarily let go of thoughts of the wipe out and the way it handed his rivals the victory.

After the bus parked and the team began to file out, Julie came up beside Adam when he got off. "Hey," she greeted. "Sorry for kind of giving Lacey the third degree back there. I didn't realize you guys were friends."

Adam shrugged. "I mean, I wouldn't say we're friends, but she's all right. You know her, too?"

"Not really," Juile admitted. "We met once not long ago. I just knew about her and Shipley, and wanted to make sure she wasn't causing you trouble, I guess."

"Thanks for looking out for me, but she wasn't. She's actually pretty decent, I think."

"Gosh though, I can't believe she's dating the biggest jerk on the planet," Julie rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I trust you then. It's not easy, you know, having all these brothers to protect," she grinned. "It's a full-time job."

He laughed. "Yeah I'll bet. Well thanks. But ease up on Lacey. She might be with Shipley, but I think she's a decent person."

"I will." Julie patted his shoulder and walked on ahead, leaving Adam to hope what he said was actually true and wondering how nuts it was to allow the girl of his biggest rival to befriend him while he was at his lowest point. But when he remembered the earnest expression on Lacey's face that seemed to betray an authentic concern, there was something about it that felt…

Safe.

It was against all logic, but there it was. And frankley, he'd felt that way since the day at the cat shelter. That safety was a feeling Adam tried to carry with him the rest of the night to hold the other feelings at bay - the horror he felt when he realized his skates were slipping out from under him as he sailed across the rink; the shock he experienced when his body hit the unyielding ice; and the humiliation that pierced him as he watched the puck slide loosely away from him before being raked up by a Hornet's stick.