"If it scares and excites you at the same time, you probably should do it." - Unknown
Lacey was 100 percent ready to go back to work when Monday rolled around. She needed Cat's Cradle to pour the serenity back into her life that she'd lost the weekend before.
The urge to pull and bite had come back in full force. Loopy Lacey had returned. But Lacey was going to go down fighting her for control.
Max, predictably, had shown up on Lacey's doorstep the day after the Eden Hall debacle, asking her to come sit in his car with him for a talk. It was too cold to stand outside, and he clearly didn't want her mom and Stuart to overhear anything he said. Apparently, his dad had posted his bail, but not without "slugging the sense back into him" a couple of times and taking a call from Phil Banks, who told him, "This is the way it's going to go, Craig. I won't press charges against your son if Shipley Repair & Body Work will clean the paint off each and every car damaged by Max and his teammates. Needless to say, my son's car comes first. If those cars are treated pristinely,—and I mean not one spot of chipped paint—then no further charges will be filed. I've talked to the other parents, and this is how we wish to proceed. No one wants your kid to sacrifice his hockey scholarship for a criminal record."
So that meant every moment he wasn't in hockey practice, Max would be helping to repair the cars he and his friends had vandalized. It sounded more than fair to Lacey, who wasted no time in telling Max so. Just as she was about to pull off his high school ring, throw it at him, and declare them done, his tears began to flow.
"Lacey, please. I'm sorry. I'll go apologize to each one of those guys personally, Banks first. You know what a problem I have with rage. We've talked about this." He wiped his eyes with his letter jacket while Lacey just watched him. "Baby, it's been so long since I lost my temper like that. I told my old man I'd go to anger management classes at Social Services. I'll do anything. I know this is a problem I got straight from him."
Max looked into Lacey's eyes pleadingly. "Please. One more chance. Just give me a shot at starting over and being a different person. I can't lose you right now on top of everything else. Just…please."
He'd apparently seen her fidgeting with his ring on her finger.
Max continued, "God, I was so worried. I couldn't find you after the whole thing, and I had no idea you'd fallen down after you tried to take my stick away. That's exactly what I'm telling you. I was so blind with rage, like everything was white, that I couldn't even see where you were." Max continued to sob. "I'm so, so sorry."
Tears sprang unbidden to Lacey's eyes just watching him. "Max…," she sighed. "Even if I believed you about the rage taking over, and I do…and even though I do believe you want to change…you planned what you were going to do that night. That isn't rage, that's malicious intent. You knew what you were doing. It's not as though it took you by surprise."
"No, no, it was just wash-off spray paint!" Max shook his head, still swiping his arm across his face occasionally. "We were just going to have a little fun writing on the cars. You know, 'Rockets rule, Ducks drool,' kinda dumb stuff, until I saw Banks's car and it just…got out of hand."
Lacey shook her head, resting her forehead in her hands. "What is it with you guys? First, the Jets TP all their opponents, then the Rockets go and pull a stunt like this. Adam was right. You're all just sore losers."
At the mention of Adam's name, Max's head shot up and his eyes flashed. "Yeah, well, Banks is a…," he trailed off, slapping his hand on the steering wheel. "No, I'm not saying that. I'm not getting mad all over again. I've turned a page, Lacey, and I'm serious. No more of this terrible behavior."
Max's use of the phrase "terrible behavior" slightly amused Lacey, but also convinced her that maybe he was trying to change. After all, he was right: his rage problem came straight from his dad, who had spared no blows when Max made him angry. And besides, Max had never hurt anybody physically, including her.
So, she gave him one more chance. He could escort her at Homecoming, but no hotel afterward. And she had to have proof he was going to anger management classes.
"I know I'm being tough, Max, but I have to be. I'm not going to be with a person like the one I saw on Halloween," she informed him firmly.
He nodded, not even giving her the least bit of grief over the sex-free homecoming evening ahead. That, to Lacey, meant he was definitely trying.
She carried that assurance with her all the way through school and into work the next day. Surely she was doing the right thing: showing mercy to someone else who had a problem they struggled to control.
It's the right thing to do.
"And I'm so glad you discovered the Autumn Bazaar! There is a treasure trove of ideas for you to think about trying. Attagirl!" Alice beamed, coming into the lobby carrying a cat in each arm for Play Day. "All right, here's the last of them!"
"You don't think the older ones will be too rough with the kittens, do you?" Lacey was busying herself, setting out the toys and kitty castles for the animals that wanted solitude and refuge.
"Well, the good thing about cats is they have an instinct for protecting themselves, no matter their age. That's why they hiss, arch their backs, and swipe."
"But we don't want them to do that to each other, right?" Lacey hoped her idea of Play Day wouldn't end badly, given how unsociable some of the cats could be.
"It doesn't hurt them to have a disagreement, dear." Alice set the two older cats she was holding atop the kitty castle. "They can learn how to be around other animals this way. And we didn't bring out our fighters,-Pancake and Sir George-so the rest should do well enough staking out their own territory. If there's a dispute, well then, we'll handle it." She dusted her hands off and stood watching as the cats began to scope one another out, the adults backing into corners to be left alone or just to watch the action. The kittens, of course, immediately began to play with one another, occasionally engaging the adults, which mostly looked on warily but showed considerable patience with their baby counterparts. Gracie Mae and Fred, meanwhile, elected to hide behind the front desk.
"Malachi!" Lacey ran to retrieve one short-haired tabby from standing on his hind legs, attempting to chew on the phone cord at the desk. Thank heavens Hilda wasn't here today. "No, no. There are other things to play with besides phone cords." She set him down in front of his sister, the shy, solid black Lady Godiva.
"Isn't it amazing how little the siblings can look alike?" Lacey hung a strand of tinkling bells down in front of Lady Godiva, attempting to engage her.
"Yes, well, they can have different fathers, of course. Remember the day we had that talk?" Alice gave Lacey a wink.
"Ha! Do I ever? So odd how- Oh!"
Before she saw the figure on the other side of the front door, it opened, knocking a fluffy orange kitten on its back and rolling it a short distance.
"Oh! Jeez, I'm sorry…"
It was Adam. She'd not seen him since the Halloween incident on Friday, and what she wanted to do the instant she saw him was go hide. But this was her job, and she couldn't just disappear.
Lacey gave him a small smile. "It's okay, kittens are pretty resilient."
But Adam had gone over to retrieve the stunned tiny bundle of fur he'd knocked out of the way when he opened the door. He looked around for a moment. "What are they all doing out?" He looked down as Siamese Annabelle slinked over to rub against his leg.
"It's Play Day, young man," Alice smiled at him. "We let the cats out of the kennels to have a little fun. Are you interested in taking one of them home?"
"Oh, I…can't," Adam gave an awkward smile as he set the kitten he'd picked up back on the ground. Lacey chuckled, remembering his comment about men and cats the day they'd gone to see his doctor. "But it was pretty entertaining to walk up from the outside and see all these tails sticking up everywhere."
Lacey laughed.
"Well, perhaps you're here for other reasons. Lacey, is this your friend?" Alice raised her eyebrows.
Lacey swallowed. "He is. Um…Adam, this is my boss, Alice. She owns the shelter. Alice, meet Adam Banks."
"Adam Banks!" Alice beamed, tilting her head. "Any relation to Phil, the commercial real estate mogul?
Adam nodded. "He's my dad."
Alice's eyes twinkled. "Your grandparents, Kent and Laura, were mine and Vernon's neighbors on Grey Court Lane. We raised children alongside each other. And let me tell you, I remember every moment of your father outside riding that bike of his from dawn till dusk in the summer. He would ride for so long at a time that I would coax him into putting that bike down long enough to come in for milk and oatmeal raisin cookies."
"Oh, wow. That's still his favorite cookie, actually," Adam bent to pet another little interloper who was biting on his shoestrings. "It's really neat that you knew him that long ago."
"Ah, yes. We always knew he would take that precocious little smile and diplomatic attitude with him all the way to the top. And he did. But…," Alice leaned forward in her chair, squinting. "You don't look a thing like him."
Lacey wanted to slap her forehead and just fall back on the floor.
"I hear I look more like Mom," Adam smirked. "But Travis is Dad all the way."
"Oh, is he now?" Alice beamed, but then glanced over to Lacey and cleared her throat. "Thank you for listening to me reminisce about the old days. But I'm sure the two of you want to visit with one another." With a small wince, Alice stood. "I'll be in the back cleaning the kennels."
"I can come help you, Alice," Lacey called after the older lady, but Alice waved her off. "Enjoy your time with your friend, and mind the cats!"
Lacey glanced back over at Adam, who shook his head with a grin, taking Alice's place in the overstuffed chair.
"Wow, Minneapolis can be a pretty small world for all its bright lights, huh?" He reached down and picked up Violet, who had made her way over to him as though she knew him to be her rescuer.
"It is," Lacey agreed, petting Stella, who had jumped into her lap as she sat cross-legged on the floor. "So…did you come to check on the little calicos?"
"Sure," Adam shrugged. "I always like to know how they're doing. But more than that, I actually wanted to check on you," he lifted his eyes to hers.
"Oh, I'm… I'm fine," Lacey flashed him a smile. "Just been keeping busy. Working, you know…"
"Lacey, It's okay if you're not…," Adam spoke carefully. "I mean, I know… I…learned…from Julie," he stammered, "about trichotillomania. I have no idea what it must be like for you, and I'm sorry if my losing it at Max made anything worse for you."
Lacey sighed. "Honestly, I think it was the whole situation. Max can be difficult sometimes because of his anger issues…and even though he doesn't lose his cool that often, when he does, it triggers me a bit. He was explaining to me over the weekend how, when he's in the midst of a rage spell, everything goes white and he just doesn't realize what he's doing."
Adam turned his eyes up from Violet, and was quiet for a moment. "You said it was over between you two, though, right?"
"It's complicated, Adam." Lacey felt herself growing defensive, but tried to suppress the emotion. "We had a really good talk this past weekend. He said he's going to apologize to you personally and go to anger management classes. I told him I would give him another chance, but he's definitely on probation."
She paused, unable to read Adam's expression, but knew from his serious gaze that he was probably about to say something she didn't want to hear. So she cut him off.
"His dad has always beaten him, you know, so he's not really learned any other way of…handling things…"
Adam took a deep breath and sat back in the chair. "Lacey, he could hurt you. What's to say that won't be next?"
"He wouldn't," Lacey assured Adam. "He's never hurt me, or hurt anyone else for that matter. Please know I'm not trying to make excuses for him, it's just…I want to give him a shot at changing. Just one."
Adam watched her for a moment. "Well, that's up to you. But I want you to promise me something." He set the restless little Violet down on the floor as he leaned forward. "If he hurts you…or even starts acting like he would…tell him where he can go. All right? And then get out of there and don't look back. "
"A-all right. I can promise that," Lacey stammered, feeling the urge to bite her nails.
"Good," Adam said, leaning down to pet fat, old Pebbles who had lazily lumbered over to him. "I actually wanted to ask you something else..."
"Yeah?" Lacey gave an inner sigh of relief that the Max topic was over.
"How about going with me Friday to see the Twin City Vulcans play. You could even bring your sisters along." His eyes twinkled with excitement, and Lacey could barely contain a chuckle.
"You are all about hockey, aren't you?"
"Course I am," Adam replied. "And I want to teach you how it's played. Have you ever actually watched a game with someone sitting there explaining the whole thing to you?"
Lacey thought for a moment. No, she hadn't. She was always there watching Max, but only ever gave him half her attention. She hadn't ever been sitting next to anyone who talked her through a game.
"My dad and his buddies rent a suite every year. We can go up there. It'll be quiet, the girls can have all the popcorn they want, and I can show you what the game's all about. What do you say?" Adam rested his chin in his hands, still leaning forward and eagerly awaiting her response.
Truth was, Lacey would rather do just about anything else. But Adam was really putting forth an effort to befriend her, and even though she doubted she would ever feel like his equal in any way, it endeared him to her.
Adam sensed her hesitation. "Unless you think Max might have a deal about it. Or…maybe your sisters don't like hockey that much?"
"Actually, they do," Lacey answered, feeling relieved that she wouldn't be spending alone time with Adam that her boyfriend could take issue with. "Davy's got them hooked. And when they try to talk to me about it, obviously they don't have a great audience. But even if they didn't, they'd still come for the free popcorn," she chuckled.
"All right, then. Ariel and Halen…? Did I get it right?"
"You did. Halen's got the good girl look, Ariel's got the bad girl look," she chuckled. "That's the easiest way to remember them."
"Yeah, opposite of their names, I got it," he smiled and stood up. "Okay, so the game starts at seven. How about I pick you and your sisters up around five-thirty. That'll give us time to get settled. I'll drive my parents' Suburban since we can't all fit in my car. And even if we could, it might not be repaired by then."
Lacey uncrossed her legs and stood up with him. "Yeah," Lacey winced thinking about the damage to Adam's car. "But that sounds fine. The girls will be plenty excited."
She noticed how Adam seemed to move more freely today. "Are the meds the doctor gave you helping?"
Adam made a "somewhat" gesture with his hand. "Not quite as good as the Percocets, but I'm trying to play it straight. Plus, I just finished the first physical therapy session. We'll see if that does anything," he shrugged.
"And what excuse are you giving your parents for spending the extra time away?" Lacey raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, they know I'm always either training, scrimmaging, or practicing this time of year, so they don't usually ask questions."
"Wow, must be nice," Lacey laughed. "My mom asks me where I've been if I get home more than five minutes after I said I would be."
"Yeah, well Dad's working late half the time and my mom's a free spirit, so nobody makes too much of a fuss," Adam leaned down to give Violet one more gentle pat on the head.
"Thank you…for asking me and the girls to the game." She smiled, hoping she looked more enthusiastic than she felt.
"Sure." Adam reached in his pocket for his keys. "Well, better get Dad's baby back to him."
"Right. I'll see you Friday then?"
"Yes." He emphatically pointed a key at her as he walked to the door. "Be ready to have your mind blown."
Lacey laughed. "Okay."
With that, Adam was gone, and Lacey took a deep, shaky breath. She shouldn't have agreed to do this.
Because the more he's around you, the more he'll see you have nothing in common. And the crazier he's bound to think you are, eventually.
"Gotta take some extra meds," Lacey murmured to the cats closest to her. If she had a panic attack at the stadium-
"Well, what a sweet young man, inviting you out like that!"
Lacey jumped and whirled around, spotting Alice in rubber gloves, holding a rag. Apparently, the woman had been listening the whole time.
Lacey sighed and started gathering kittens. It was nearly time to close.
"So, knowing him, he'll try to pay, but I want them both to have their own money. I'm paying my way, too." Lacey emphasized to Stuart after telling him about the Vulcans game invitation. "And please don't tell Mom."
Stuart looked up after putting a forkful of meatloaf into his mouth. He let out a snort and reached for his pop. "Lacey, come noo," he chided as he swallowed. "Ye ken I'm no' lying to yer mum. An' ye know she'll ask where ye are."
Lacey withered, resting her forehead on the kitchen table in front of her plate. When she'd gotten home that evening, she realized she'd happened upon the best time to talk to Stuart. Her mom was out grocery shopping with Halen. But right now, he was no help.
"She hates the Bankses. She'll never let me go, much less the girls."
"Aye," Stuart mused, staring off. "She does hate the Bankses quite a lot, but y'ken the more chances she gets to know them, the less likely she is to have a row with ye aboot it."
Lacey rolled her eyes, taking a bite of Stuart's meatloaf, one of his specialities. He'd always been the cook in the family, at least ever since she could remember.
"Give yer mum a break, love. She always means the best," Stuart lectured.
"I know, I know." Lacey propped her forehead in her hand.
"'And won't ye gi' this lad a chance?"
"What?" Lacey sat up straight. "Stuart, you know I'm with Max."
"Didna say as a boyfriend," he continued, still paying attention to his food. "But obviously he, at least, wants t'be yer friend. Let 'im get to know yeh, Lace. The real you, without all the fancy bits. Scares ye, doesn't it?"
"Mm," she answered disinterestedly, and went to the fridge to find her own can of pop.
The thing Stuart didn't get was that Lacey had been pretending to be someone else for so long, she barely knew who she was anymore.
The rest of the dinner was quiet, and when Lacey retreated to her room for homework, she had to reach for one of her koosh balls to pluck strands off of in order not to touch her hair.
Loopey Lacey really was back. And she was terrified of anyone finding out.
