"If you can't get somebody off your mind, they're probably supposed to be there." –Unknown
Lacey stared out the window, watching every landmark they passed.
She might like surprises, but she wasn't sure she trusted Adam yet with them.
Almost as if he read her mind, he asked from the driver's seat, "Do you trust me?"
"I don't know," she turned her eyes back to him, warily. "You've already taken me to a hockey game, out to eat with your teammates who don't like me, and I've been to your fancy house. I'd say I've been stretched quite a bit since coming to know you."
"Oh? Let's talk about stretching for a minute," Adam laughed. "I've so far had Earl Grey on ice, been crushed on by a twelve-year-old, come to like cats and gone to Waffle House."
"Oh come on, Halen's harmless! She just wants you to pay her a little attention every now and then, and ignore it when she comes into the room reeking of Baby Soft." Lacey grinned at him.
Adam blushed. "I could handle all that, but then when she came into the living room the other night and sat down right next to me on the couch during that Pretty Woman piano scene, which was really awkward-"
"Trust me," Lacey rolled her eyes. "She's seen the piano scene before. And besides, you know she didn't mean it to actually be seductive!" she reached over to playfully smack his arm.
"I know, I know!" he scooted over quickly to dodge her. "But it still felt really weird."
"Listen, just be glad Ariel didn't come in. She would sit and make fun of the whole thing. I hate watching romance with her," Lacey's words slowed as Adam took an exit off Hwy. 169 and merged onto 494. "Is this on the other side of Edina?"
"It is," Adam reached to turn the radio down as "Show Me Love" by Robyn came over the airwaves. "So you've guessed that much."
"Okay… doesn't make it less scary," Lacey reached down to turn the radio back up, raising her eyebrows at him.
"Didn't you say Alice told you to have some new experiences? This will be a good one for you," he flashed a mischievous smile.
"Yes, she said that, and yes, thank you, I've already met the requirement. I went to the Autumn Bazaar and scoped out art. Plus, all those things I just mentioned.
"Then consider this a bonus. Just a few more miles. Think you can handle it?"
She sighed, leaning back in the comfortable seat. "I guess I can. By the way, next prank we play is, I need to drive your car back to my parents' house and convince my mom you let me borrow it for a while."
Adam laughed out loud. "Oh sure, no sweat. I'll just hand the keys right over…"
"We've got to graduate from Danielle Steel book swapping to bigger and better things!"
"Your mom told me she thought she'd lost her mind when she couldn't find her other books! It was scary the way she glared at me. Think I'm going to agree to do something against her again any time soon?" Adam turned his signal light on to exit. "And besides, we can't drag my car into this." He reached out and patted his dashboard.
Lacey shook her head, smiling, and felt a moment of trust wash over her. She guessed she didn't really mind too much where Adam was taking her, as long as he was there.
Or at least, that's how she felt until he turned down the road leading to Centennial Lakes Park.
It was winter, and there would only be one activity going on here.
"Adam… tell me no." Lacey looked over at him slowly.
"'No' what? What do you think I'm taking you to do?"
"To play hockey, probably, and I don't want to!" Lacey protested. "Now I've gone to a professional game, I've gone to watch you play, and I-"
"Hold on, whoa whoa whoa. I solemnly swear to you that I will never make you play hockey with me," he glanced over at her. "That isn't what we're doing. And besides, you can't 'play hockey' with two people so you're safe."
But she watched as he drove the car into the park gates and pulled into a parking space near the South Lake, which was now a frozen pond. A small handful of skaters of various skill degrees were winding their way across the ice.
He turned off the car, then turned to regard her ruefully. "But I do want to teach you how to skate. And I know you say you weren't good on skates as a little girl, but I think you could be if you just tried it one more time now that you're older."
Lacey huffed, plopping her head back against Adam's headrest before opening her mouth to protest. However, he continued.
"And I mean, I guess I have to admit I'm being selfish here, too, because I've been wanting to come out here and skate myself. Like… just skate. Do you know how long it's been since I've ice skated without doing it for hockey?"
"Probably a long time. But Adam, you're forgetting I don't have skates."
"Ah. But you do." He got out of the car and went to his trunk, popping the lid. Lacey, curiosity piqued, got out of the car and went around, watching him pull out two pairs of skates tied together by the laces. The first pair she recognized was his, and the second pair was…
"I rented them from Jan for you. I don't know if I got the right size," he looked at her cautiously, "but I hope maybe I came close."
Lacey suddenly felt guilty for her bad attitude. "Adam," she sighed, "why didn't you just say you wanted us to go ice skating together? You didn't have to surprise me and rent me skates and all."
"Would you have actually said yes? I knew I'd have to use my powers of manipulation. Even though of course," he turned to face her, "if you really don't want to, you don't have to. I picked this place because it's over ten acres, and there's space for you to learn. The fact that it's lit up for Christmas helped, too. But if you still say no, let me skate for just a little while and then we'll leave and go on to Olive Garden. I swear."
She looked at him for a moment, unable to stop a smile from spreading across her face. Adam might have surprised her by bringing her out here so she wouldn't have a chance to say no before he could argue his case, but he wasn't out to make her do this. And that's probably why she trusted him so much. The pushy days of Max were over.
"Okay. Give me those skates." She reached out for them. "Good thing I'm wearing thick socks so they won't rub."
He grinned. "Really? You'll do it?" he handed over the pair of white skates that looked brand new.
"I'll do it once, do you hear me? If I fall and shatter my tailbone, it's on you."
Adam laughed. "Not possible. Because I'm going to be helping you."
They made their way out onto the benches close to the lake to put on skates. Lacey looked around at the Christmas lights that had been strung around the lamp posts that dotted the edge of the lake, reflecting off the ice. In addition to that, Centennial Lakes Park was surrounded by buildings, so the lights emanating from them added yet another layer of enchanting glow. It wasn't quite dark yet, but it was bound to be a beautiful sight when it was.
"You're right, I do like that it isn't crowded," she smiled over. "But where are the rails to hold onto?"
"I'm going to be your rail," Adam chuckled.
Lacey laced her skates up like any other boot and wondered why Adam kept eyeing them.
"Is there some specific way you lace skates?"
"Stand up really quick, if you don't mind. Here." He stood on his own skates and held her arm to help her stand. Standing on the skates in the snow felt weird.
"Okay, that's what I thought."
"What?" she looked down at her feet, noticing her ankles were turning inward. "Wait, is it supposed to be like that?"
"No, it isn't. Can you sit back down for me?"
She did so, then watched carefully as Adam knelt in front of her and untied the laces, retying them again after pulling them so tight Lacey thought her circulation was going to be cut off.
"Ow, hey!"
"They have to be tight. It's the only way to support your ankles. Trust me, once you've been skating for a little while, you won't notice the discomfort."
She took a deep breath. "Okay. Got it." She tried again to stand, and again he helped her. They made their way slowly to the edge of the pond.
"I can't," she stared at the ice below her. "I can't, I can't."
"You can, Lacey, I promise. Look, this is what I'm going to do." Adam stepped over and put his arm around her back, reaching from behind to take her left hand, then taking her right hand with his other one. It was like she was cradled against him.
"So I'm going to count, and when I get to one, step out. You're not going to fall, I'm right here holding you and it takes a lot to make me fall."
"Okay… oh gosh, okay…" Lacey shut her eyes tightly for a moment. "You count, I'll try to… to step."
"Alright." Adam held her securely. "Three… two… one…"
Lacey burst out with a nervous shriek and a giggle as she took one very big step out, and immediately began to feel her feet give out from under her.
"It's alright, it's alright," Adam patiently helped steady her, which took several seconds. "You have to lean slightly forward. I know my arm's behind you, but if you lean too far back against it it's easy to go backward. So lean up a little, and just move slowly."
"Slowly" was an understatement. Lacey wasn't sure just how far they went with her constantly losing control and over-correcting herself, shrieking, grabbing onto him, and whimpering "I can't do this!"
But finally, after probably an hour with his steady presence, she began to feel a little more control and a little more used to the sensation of ice under her skates.
"How am I doing?" she asked for the millionth time as it was beginning to get dark. Countless couples had passed them, smiling and chuckling while watching Lacey's training antics.
"You're doing great," Adam replied. And by this time, she wasn't so focused on falling that she didn't notice how nice it was to hear his voice so close to her ear, his breath warm on her cheek.
This was maybe the closest they'd ever-
"Ah!" Lacey almost tripped over a twig, but swerved instinctively and somehow missed it. Adam didn't once lose his bearings.
They continued on this way for a little while, and Lacey thought it a pretty big sacrifice on Adam's part that he was having to spend all the time he'd doubtlessly hoped to spend soaring across the ice having to hobble along beside her. But surely he'd known that when he'd brought her.
"Okay, so tell me," Lacey was in enough of a rhythm to be able to halfway converse. "What's your first memory of skating?"
Adam was quiet a moment as he seemed to be thinking. "I was probably four or five. Somewhere around there. And my parents took me to the pond that was out behind our house. Travis was sleeping over at a friend's I think, otherwise he would have been there, but I just remember my dad and my mom each having one of my hands. And I was thinking, "This is fun, but I wanna be let go." And finally Dad did give up my hand, but my mom held onto me forever," he chuckled.
Lacey felt a rush of delight yet again at the closeness of his voice. "Ice is magical to you, isn't it?"
"It is," he gave her hand a quick squeeze. "Guess that's why I wouldn't make it in San Francisco."
More than a little distracted by the way her heart was fluttering around her ribcage like a bird, Lacey tried to think of a good response. But Adam beat her to the punch.
"I think you're ready for me to give you a little more leeway. Here." He let go of her left hand and withdrew his arm, just taking her right hand in his.
"I-I don't know," her voice rose nervously, feeling a little unsteady again with only one supporting hand.
"I do. You're going to be fine, I promise. I've seen people take a lot longer to learn this than you have."
It was almost dark by now, and Lacey was mesmerized by the way the Christmas lights glinted off the ice. Perhaps it was the beauty, the thrill of the cold air, that gave her more boldness.
"Teach me how to skate backwards," she said.
"Uh… you sure you're ready for that, Lace? It's a little tricky, and you don't even know how to stop yet."
"So, teach me how to stop, then teach me to skate backwards," she smiled over at him.
And so for the next hour, Lacey had at least a half dozen close calls as Adam taught her the basics of stopping with her skates. At one point when turning her skate to the side in front of her to come to a halt just as he demonstrated, she got tangled up in her other jeans leg, squealing as she hit the ice, somehow scraping her arm with the front picks on her skate.
"Okay, enough of that for now," Adam came over to help her up. "We'll keep trying, though."
"It's okay, go ahead and laugh," Lacey chuckled to herself while pulling up with the help of Adam's hand.
He did break into a laugh after he helped her upright. "I don't think I've ever seen anybody cut their right arm with their left skate. It's not bleeding, is it?"
"I don't think so," Lacey tried rolling up her thick sweater, but finally gave up. "It doesn't feel like it is. But oh my gosh, how do you make this look so easy?"
"Hey. Fourteen years. You've been doing it, what, two hours?"
He took her hands then, and they began to try a very basic form of backward skating. He would skate backward, pulling her along a bit so she could watch his footwork, then he would have her try it. But they both had to laugh when it was her turn to pull him backward and they ended up just standing still.
"It'll come, don't worry," he assured her.
"Adam," she paused to look at him. "I can go sit down for a little while and let you skate. I'm sure you want to really let go out here, and I know I'm holding you back. Go ahead, I'll be fine."
"You know, I can come back here any time. I've had fun just doing this. Did you want to go soon?"
Olive Garden breadsticks were definitely calling Lacey's name about now. Adam may or may not like Olive Garden, but he had been prepared to humor her when she'd mentioned it as being her favorite restaurant.
But before they left she wanted to experience just one more thing, all in the name of adventure. Lacey was reminded of her dream the night after the Vulcans game where she flew over the ice effortlessly in sparkling skates. She could recall every little sensation.
"Soon, but not yet. I was actually wondering if you would do something."
Adam peered at her curiously. "Okay?"
"I want you to hold my hands and skate backwards as fast as you can. If I can stay upright, it might be my one chance to really sail across the ice, you know? You guys always make it look so fun."
"Modification: how about if I skate backward only kind of fast, and I'll pull you along," he countered. "Lacey, I don't mean to sound arrogant, but if I pulled you with me as fast as I can actually skate…"
"Okay, no, you're right. 'Kind of' fast is fast enough." She held her hands out to him again, smiling as excitement inflated her chest.
Adam took her hands firmly. "Alright. Get ready." He began pulling her backward again, this time building up speed very quickly. It soon felt to Lacey like they were soaring, the wind whipping past her ears and stinging her eyes. She closed them against the cold air, which only added to the magic of flying across the ice and the excitement of having no idea where they were going. When he made a few fast turns that left her feeling sure she was going to crash into him, laughter bubbled out of her and she let it flow freely. How long had it been since she'd laughed like this?
It had been since she was a little girl. And after that fateful night when she was nine years old, she thought she never would again. For these short minutes, she would pretend none of that had ever happened. What if life could stay this uncomplicated?
"Okay okay, stop!" she finally called out breathlessly, still giggling.
Adam obediently slowed down, catching her in his arms when he came to a full stop and Lacey tumbled into him. He was chuckling. "Was that all you were hoping for?"
But Lacey didn't reply. She held onto him, resting her cheek against his chest just over his heart and tightening her embrace. It only took a few seconds for him to wrap his own arms around her, holding her close against him. He rested his chin gently on her head for a moment.
What was this? Lacey wasn't sure, but she knew she was warm.
And happy.
And safe.
And that she could stand like this for hours.
Adam must have felt it too, because he didn't make one move to break the embrace, even when she began to feel slight motion as he drifted backwards very slowly. When she finally made herself pull back and lift her head, she saw that he had brought them back a few yards to the edge of the pond. And he was looking at her, the moon glinting in his eyes the same way it had at the end of summer party at Eden Hall. But now, a different sort of emotion flickered there.
She smiled at him, thinking for a fraction of a second about embracing him again as she could feel her breath quicken in her chest. But she held herself back. "Adam, um… thank you. I had the best time. It was all just really perfect," she managed to say.
Adam flashed a grin. "Yeah? So you'll still answer my calls and everything?"
Lacey laughed. "Yes, okay. I might have been mad at you for a minute when we first pulled in here, but I'm totally over it now. This has been…" she felt the urge to repeat the word "perfect," but just finished with, "...a really great time."
"Good. I told you it would be," he gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before leading them to their bench to change out of skates. This turned out to be a job, as the skates were a little tight for her. She finally gave up pulling after about five minutes, agreeing to let Adam have a try. After unlacing them halfway down and jerking so hard Lacey had to grab onto the arm of the bench, he managed to get them off over her too-thick socks. It was yet another thing for them to laugh about.
Their trip to Olive Garden afterward certainly kept her spirits high, too, and on the way back to her house, Lacey was exhausted, but happy.
"OH OH OH! It's 'Buddy Holly'!" she shrieked after she'd scanned the radio and came across the popular Weezer song. She reached for the volume so fast it knocked Adam's car into neutral as they sped along the highway.
"Whoa, watch it!" Adam laughed, reaching quickly to pull it back down into drive.
"Ooh ooh… and I know I'm yours. Ooh ooh… and I know you're mine!" she belted out off-key. "Come on, sing with me!"
It took Adam a good few minutes to get started. "I don't remember all the words!" he complained. "Oh! -Mary Tyler Moore!"
"I don't care what they say about us anyway. I don't care 'bout that!" they yell-sang at the top of their lungs all the way through the song.
"That guitar riff during the bridge is the best ever," Adam commented after their obnoxious concert.
"Sex and Candy" came on next, though, and he blushed. "No way I'm singing that."
Lacey giggled, severely tempted to sing the song anyway just to watch his face redden deeper. But she gave him a break and left him to his shyness.
"By the way," he began, turning the radio down a few notches. "I finally talked to my parents."
"What?! You did?" Lacey shifted to face him. "When?"
"Last night, and it went pretty well, by and large. I mean, they were shocked - Dad really wants me to get a second opinion - and they didn't understand why I didn't come to them sooner about it. And I really don't know why I didn't. I guess I just…" Adam ran a hand over his face. "... I don't want things to change. I want to keep pressing toward my goal without anything getting in the way, and the more people I tell, the bigger a deal I feel it's becoming."
What if it is a big deal? Lacey wanted to ask. She still wasn't sure how Adam thought he was going to keep up with the grueling demands of being an NHL player, if his career went that far, and still take care of his disease. But she didn't want to ruin the evening by challenging him on the matter, so she kept quiet.
"So now," he continued, "Coach knows, and Mom and Dad. And, of course, you. That's really all I want to tell. I asked Coach to keep it quiet from the team for now, even though he wants me to tell them eventually, so he told them I was sick last week and left it at that. I'm pretty sure that had people wondering, because I'm never sick. But nobody's really asked questions."
"Well, I get that you don't want to make a huge deal out of it, and I can respect that, but also realize it's nothing to be ashamed of. Really," she emphasized, having a pretty good feeling that was a factor in his reticence to tell people about his diagnosis.
"Oh I know," he replied, exiting off the interstate close to her house. But she could hear the hesitation in his voice, and she opted to change the subject.
"Tell Jan I might be coming back for those skates. Well, in one size bigger probably," Lacey chuckled. "You were right. I feel like I actually enjoy skating now. So you did pretty well thinking up a new experience for me to have," she reached over and patted his shoulder with a grin.
"Did I?" his eyes brightened as he glanced over to regard her.
"Yeah. I mean, that doesn't mean I want to go every day or anything, even though I'm pretty sure you could."
He laughed. "Yeah, I probably could. But one night's enough for now."
The day after he took Lacey skating, Adam was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't very sore. The odd thing about this disease, he was figuring out, was that it often had no rhyme or reason. He would wake up one day with his body on fire, and then the next, he felt almost completely back to his old self. When he realized it was impossible, at least so far, to trace a pattern, Adam decided not to look too far into it and just appreciate the good days for what they were.
And today, it was particularly easy. From the moment he woke up, he felt like butterflies had hatched in his chest overnight. All throughout class, his thoughts drifted back to Lacey and their antics on the ice, and he found himself blushing. He could so vividly recall the feel of her hand in his and how she'd clung to him just before they took off their skates. Her hair smelled good, her embrace was tight, and he had been able to feel the way her heart pounded when he held her.
The emotions he was beginning to experience each time he thought about her took his breath away, and it simultaneously felt good and also unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Was this normal? He wondered if he could ask Charlie.
It was with Lacey still on his mind that Adam pushed through the door to enter the locker room for practice after school. He greeted each teammate that looked in his direction with a smile and a nod, heading over to the bench in front of his locker to take out his newly washed pads.
"Good to see you again, cake eater!" Russ, who had adopted the fond nickname everybody else used for Adam, nudged him as he walked by. Adam chuckled.
Just then, the door was pushed open again, and in marched Coach Orion. "All right." He started in immediately as always. "Let's talk about last Friday's game. Great defense. But almost a little too much focus there. I need to see a combination of guarding the goal and playing offense. We won the game only because the Hornets are terrible and it was all too easy. Charlie did a great job scoring for us, but he can't do it alone. Wingmen, I'm going to need you to try harder."
"Gee thanks," Guy, usually calm and compliant, muttered. "Jesse and I did manage to make a goal each."
But before Orion could respond, Portman retorted, "We didn't have Banksie! He's our main first-line offense. Everybody's used to just trying to get the puck to him."
Adam shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling responsible for Orion's criticism. If he'd been able to play on Friday…
"Can't always rely on Banks," Coach replied matter-of-factly. "Each of you needs to learn to tow the line when necessary."
The remark stung Adam. His team had always been able to rely on him.
Always.
The locker room went quiet. He looked down.
"Which brings me to an important matter," Coach Orion began again in a gentler tone. "As a team, we have to learn to support one another both on and off the ice. You guys have shown me you can do that time and time again. But now, you might be called upon to take it to a whole new level. Sometimes even star players need support."
Adam raised his head, brow furrowed as he studied Coach.
"Banks," Orion regarded him solemnly. "I think now would be a good time to tell the team what's going on."
What?!
Adam stared in disbelief.
He'd been told he would have to break the news of his RA to the team at some point, but Coach hadn't indicated it would need to be this soon. He wasn't ready. He hadn't rehearsed any of what he was going to say. How was it fair for him to be put on the spot like this?
He looked around at the roomful of eyes staring back at him in confusion. He swallowed hard, stuttering as he tried to get started.
"U-Um…I…"
He looked down again, eyes darting across the ground as he tried desperately to put together a sentence.
"It's okay, Adam." Connie's voice, filled with compassion, eased his discomfort slightly. "Take your time."
After taking a deep breath, inhaling courage and exhaling fear as best he could, Adam looked up again. "I've been diagnosed with rheuma–"
"Speak up, Dude. Can't hear you," Mendoza called out from the back.
Annoyed, Adam spoke a little louder. "I've been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis."
A few seconds of silence ensued before Dwayne's drawl rang out, "Arthritis? Nah, you're just eighteen! You ain't old enough for that."
"This is different," Adam replied, straightening his shoulders in an effort to summon up strength from inside. "It's…like an autoimmune disease." Not that he still understood completely what that meant, but it's what he'd heard Dr. Bartlett say. He struggled to come up with an explanation until Coach saved him.
"Rheumatoid arthritis is something anyone can get. It's caused by inflammation in the joints, not necessarily wear and tear, like we think of when people just get old. It causes pain, imbalance, fatigue…" Coach Orion looked back to Adam, giving him a small nod. He still didn't understand why his coach threw him under this bus without warning, but he knew the man had his back.
"Yeah. Um…it's why I've been a little stiff lately, and not as fast on the ice. That time I fell…" Adam's cheeks heated upon remembering the humiliation of the moment. "...It was because I lost my balance. So I…I guess I'm not going to move the same. As I used to."
Adam's chest was heavy with sorrow. How he wanted to heave a great sob, apologizing to his team for letting them down—going from being their biggest asset to perhaps their biggest liability in a matter of months. He was embarrassed and angry. And he'd give anything to be able to shout it all out. But instead, he pushed the raw emotion back behind the calm, determined face he always wore. Finally he brought himself to meet some of the eyes that gazed at him.
"Adam, hey. It's okay." He heard Charlie's voice coming from the back of the locker room. Charlie could always be counted upon to lend support. "It shouldn't all rest with you, anyway. Like Coach said."
"Can anything be done for it? Like, is it permanent?" Fulton questioned, leaning up against the wall.
"It doesn't ever go away, but sometimes it can be controlled. Other times, though, it kind of…messes me up." Adam pressed himself to be honest. "But I promise I'm going to do all I can to help keep this a good season for us."
The next question came from Julie. "Adam, how long have you known about this? Have you had any support at all?"
Adam glanced off to the side. "Just a couple of months. And yes, I've had support. My parents know now, and a…a friend." God willing no one would ask him which friend. He didn't care to go into defending himself for hanging out with Lacey Primmer again.
But no one commented on that note. Instead, everyone grew quiet. Not knowing how to interpret the silence, Adam became restless and uncomfortable before finally, Jesse spoke.
"Hey, Man. We got you. You've always had us, and now we got you. Don't sweat this thing. Do what you gotta do, even if that means missing a game sometimes."
Adam looked over at his friend, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Jesse Hall, in the beginning, had been his biggest critic. For years he'd felt he would never win the guy's approval. So for him to be the one to try to put Adam at ease meant the world.
All around him, he heard murmurs of assent, lifting his heart above the waves of despair. His team was rallying around him after all. He caught sight of fond expressions, forgiving grins, and even thumbs up.
"We love you, Man!" Goldberg cried out dramatically, causing Adam and everyone else to break out laughing.
After allowing the moment of camaraderie to continue, Coach finally reined the team back in, giving Adam a faint wink of support. "All right. Who's ready to go heat up the ice? Let's get out there."
In high spirits, the team, including Adam, filed out one by one out onto the ice. He took a deep, cleansing breath.
He had done something very hard. And he had survived it.
Stella meowed softly as Adam cradled her. Lacey grinned. He was becoming whipped by these cats.
"I think I'll take her," he smiled, holding her up again to study her round, green eyes. "She's got Mom written all over her. And you're right, she really is sweet; and small, which is a plus."
"Yeah, and she's only two," Lacey reached over to stroke her soft belly. "So she's a young cat, but not a kitten. And as you can see, she's super chill."
Adam nodded, handing Stella back over gently. "That's the one I'll go with then. Although it was a little hard walking away from Lady Godiva."
Lacey laughed. "She's a little too shy, I don't know how well she'll bond with anybody. She may actually end up being a shelter cat we let roam the lobby like Fred and Gracie Mae."
Adam reached up to rub the back of his neck which Lacey was beginning to recognize as a mannerism he had when he was feeling shy about something. "Is it corny to ask if you've got a bow or something to tie around her neck? Mom would think it was a cute touch."
Lacey chuckled. "Definitely doable. So, when do you want to come pick her up?"
"I was actually wondering if you could bring her over. I thought it might be cool if the doorbell rings and she goes to get it, then there you are, holding her." Adam's eyes shone with excitement. "What do you think, could you do it?"
She grinned. "Could I do it? That sounds awesome. Do you want me to show up on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day…?"
"How about you come the twenty-third? The next two days, we'll be making all the family rounds. And knowing Mom, she might actually want to take the cat with us. Plus, I thought maybe… if you wanted to…" he shifted, "you could stick around and watch White Christmas with us. We do it every year the day before Christmas Eve."
Lacey felt her cheeks grow warm and her heart began to beat a little faster. She wasn't sure if it was out of excitement or nervousness. After all, that would mean his dad was going to be there, and she felt intimidated by the very thought.
"Well… sure," she answered before she could change her mind. "Your parents wouldn't care if I crashed a family tradition?"
"No way. My mom really likes you. Trust me, she'd be thrilled. Have you ever watched it?"
"I don't watch a lot of old movies," Lacey held Stella up to place her back in her kennel, closing it and pushing down the latch. "But I'd like to. More new experiences for me, right?"
"Right," Adam raised his eyebrows in agreement. "I think you'll like it, I mean… a lot of people think it's dated and cheesy, but I guess because I grew up with it, I enjoy it. Oh, and my mom makes gingersnaps. You know I don't eat sugar that often, but this is the one night I really dig in."
Lacey smiled. "Okay, well count me in."
While Lacey finished cleaning kennels, Adam leaned against the wall behind her, arms folded across his chest as they chatted a bit more about a little of everything. Lacey tried not to look back at him often, however, because lately, she found that just about everything he did gave her goosebumps. For the last several nights, all she could think of while drifting off to sleep was what it had felt like to rest her cheek over his heart as they stood holding one another under the Christmas lights on the Centennial Lakes Park pond. Not thinking about Adam in a romantic way was growing increasingly harder, but Lacey was doing all she could to bridle her daydreams.
Just as she finished up the last kennel, Alice bustled in. "Oh, Adam! How are you?"
"I'm doing well, Mrs. Nelson, how are you?" he stood up straight.
"Oh, I'm wonderful. I love the Christmas season, you know. Did you notice the lights and the village display in the window?"
Lacey grinned. Alice certainly loved her decorations.
"I did. It looks great."
"Oh, speaking of Christmas, let me show you something!" Alice motioned for Adam to follow her, and Lacey bit her lip to hold back another smile, knowing what Alice was going to point out. She did it to every customer who came in. Lacey took off her apron and followed them out into the lobby.
Alice led Adam over to the Christmas tree that stood in the corner. It was an Alice Nelson Masterpiece, decked out with red and gold glass balls, tinsel, pictures of adopted cats with their new families, and tiny envelopes with pictures of the various remaining cats pasted on the outside. "We have an Angel-for-a-Cat program each Christmas," Alice explained excitedly. "We encourage anyone who can to choose a cat and look at their individual needs inside the envelope. All gifts are due back on the twenty-second so we have time to sort them out."
"I see," Adam replied, looking over the tree carefully, finally issuing a little half smile. "Well, why not be an Angel. Here." Before Lacey knew it, he had reached over and taken three envelopes off the tree, showing Alice. "Is it okay for me to take this many?"
Alice's mouth dropped open. For all that Lacey loved about the older woman, Alice truly didn't have a poker face.
"Erm… well… of course it is!" She finally beamed after she recovered from her shock. "Let's see who you have here." She squinted and read the names on the envelopes. "Lady Godiva, Pancakes, and Malachi. Good choices! Pancakes is very temperamental, you see, and it will be a true Christmas miracle if she's adopted by anyone," she sighed, shaking her head.
"And he's adopting Stella from us, Alice," Lacey cut in.
Alice gasped. "Are you?! Oh praise heavens, a home at last for our little princess! Are you taking her today?"
"No, I'm going to have Lacey bring her next week. As a present for my mom," Adam began, but was cut off quickly by Hilda, who sat in the corner with a dime store novel, watching the action over her glasses.
"You'll still need to pay for her today. And sign the adoption paperwork."
Lacey winced. One day Adam was going to ditch this place because of how rude Hilda always was to him. But thankfully he never seemed too bothered by it.
"Sure, I'm good for it," Adam pulled out his wallet, heading over to the reception desk.
"She's had all her shots, and is spayed," Lacey made for the desk before Hilda could stand up to come over. "And we routinely have the vet come check all of them out, so there are no medical issues that we know of. Just sign these papers," Lacey pulled out an adoption packet. She went over each page with Adam and handed him the papers he could keep for himself.
"Did you say it was seventy-five?" Adam questioned, laying down his paperwork and Angel-for-a-Cat envelopes. He opened his wallet and forked through a number of bills. Lacey wanted to lean over and count exactly how much money he had in there. She might have had five dollars in her purse.
"It is," Lacey answered, and was surprised when he handed over a hundred dollars. "Don't worry about change. Just consider it a donation."
Lacey saw Alice flash a big smile toward Hilda behind Adam's back. The sour woman merely shook her head. For the life of her, Lacey couldn't figure out what was wrong with Hilda sometimes. And her attitude toward Adam today made absolutely no sense.
"Thanks," Lacey turned back to Adam, smiling at him warmly. "We'll put it to good use for sure. So, see you next week?"
"Yeah," Adam replied, putting his wallet up. "Though we'll probably talk on the phone before then."
"Okay. I'll count on it." Lacey leaned her elbows on the counter. "I'll take good care of your baby in the meantime."
"And I'll be counting on that." Adam gave Alice a little wave as he turned to go, and nodded toward Hilda. "Ma'am."
Hilda jerked her head upward in a stiff nod in return as Adam headed out the door.
As soon as he left, she snorted. "Flashing all that big Banks money around. Don't know who he's trying to impress." Then she narrowed eyes suspiciously at Lacey. "Unless it's you."
"Oh Hilda, give him a break! He's a nice young man who wants to support what we're doing here! Well, that, and of course I think you're right. He may be holding a torch for a certain young lady in our employ," Alice winked at Lacey, doubtlessly hoping to diffuse the tension.
Lacey flushed, but not as much over what Alice said as in anger over Hilda's remark. "You know what, Hilda?"
Hilda looked back at Lacey, blinking in surprise at her tone.
Words began spilling from Lacey's mouth before she could stop them. "Adam might have money, but I've never once seen him blow it just because he can. He just came in here, adopted three cats for Christmas and Stella for his mom, plus he left us a twenty-five dollar donation. Anything else he can do for you, Hilda?"
The woman's face was unmoving, but her eyes reflected astonishment. Alice merely stood by quietly .
"Just… just stop being so mean!" Lacey snapped before marching out of the lobby and into the tiny makeshift break room that had been converted from a closet, holding her head in her hands. She would probably live to regret what she'd just done, but for right now, she wasn't a bit sorry.
"Lacey?"
Lacey looked up to see Alice standing in the doorway.
She let out her breath in a rush. "Alice, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I'm so sick of her! Why do you put up with her snark?"
Alice tilted her head. "Because that's what we do, Dear. We love people. We 'kill them with kindness,' the Bible says."
Lacey snorted. "Yeah, well the Bible also says…" but she trailed off, realizing she had no idea what the Bible said about anything.
The corner of Alice's eyes crinkled as she regarded Lacey fondly. "Know this, too: every year at Christmas, it gets a little worse for a while with Hilda. Her husband had a heart attack on Christmas Eve."
Lacey closed her eyes, heaving a sigh and suddenly feeling like a jackass. But that only lasted for a few seconds. "The thing is though, Alice," she began again, trying to keep her tone calm, "it's always something. There's always some reason we need to feel sorry for Hilda, but don't you think that after a while, a person just needs to get over it? I don't mean get over her husband's death, just get over herself. Stop being such a witch."
Alice was quiet for a moment, as though thinking. Finally she spoke. "How about we both think of one kind thing we can do for Hilda this year and see if it affects her? If you want to know the truth, I get frustrated with her too, and what she said about that nice young man was uncalled for. But if we let her know she's safe here, that she can be who she really is and not have to hide behind… that…" she gestured toward the lobby, then looked back at Lacey. "Please?"
It took a big moment before Lacey could respond. "...Okay. What can we do, then?"
"Bake cookies?" Halen suggested, hanging her legs over the arm of the sofa and kicking the air with her reindeer slippers.
"No, too ordinary," Lacey muttered, her head resting on the other arm of the sofa. "Mom, come on. Help me here."
Darlene stood at the window, smoking. Something seemed to be on her mind, but Lacey couldn't figure out what it might be. "Hon, I don't know what to tell you. Can you and Alice buy her some expensive perfume?"
"Hilda's not a perfume person."
"Maybe you could take her to her favorite restaurant?" Ariel offered, trying to be helpful for once.
"I don't want to spend that much time with her," Lacey shot the idea down.
"Buy her one of Adam's mom's pretty paintings?" Halen tried again.
Their mom snorted. "Only if they have three hundred dollars to spend. Paintings cost a pretty penny."
"Oh."
"We'll figure it out," Lacey closed her eyes, feeling sleepy as she usually did after work. But she still had tons of homework to do, and knew she needed to be upstairs working on it. But just as she was about to get up to go to her room, she was stopped cold.
"Girls, how about you go on upstairs? I need to talk to your sister." Her mom put out her cigarette and shut the window hard, glancing down at the ashtray she typically carried to the sink and cleaned out every time she had a smoke. But this time, she left it and came over to the couch, patting Halen's reindeer foot. "Up and out."
"Aww…" Ariel groaned, standing up from where she had been slouched in the easy chair. But neither of the girls spoke another word before getting up and filing upstairs. Apparently even they sensed something was amiss.
Lacey sat up, staring at her mother as she took a seat on the couch where Halen had been. "Mom, what is it?"
Darlene swallowed hard and opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it and fidgeted with her own bitten off nails.
Lacey's heart began to race. "Tell me, what's wrong? Is it that you couldn't get us many presents this year? Because I get it, there are years whe-"
"Your dad's parole hearing is coming up."
The words silenced Lacey instantly.
"I found out yesterday," her mom clasped her hands and twisted her fingers.
Feeling as though the wind had just been knocked out of her, Lacey sank back into the sofa. Her hands went numb.
"And there's a good chance he could get out. He's been through his substance abuse treatment programs and by all accounts has been a model prisoner. So… I just wanted to get you ready. You don't need to go to the hearing or anything, and I'm sure the conditions of his release would include him not coming near you. There's nothing to be afraid of," her mom reiterated, looking into Lacey's eyes. "Nothing. Do you hear me? That man will never come near you again, Stuart and I can guarantee it."
Lacey swallowed. "Wh-when… did… is…" but she couldn't seem to form a straight sentence.
"I knew it. I shouldn't have told you before Christmas," her mom closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead. "I just wanted you to know as soon as possible so you could be prepared. His hearing is March twenty-fifth."
Lacey tried again. "Did the lawyer call…?"
Mom nodded.
The two of them sat in silence for a moment, Lacey taking deep box breaths.
"Mom?"
Her mother looked over slowly.
"How did you ever end up with him?"
Her mom closed her eyes again and shook her head. "I don't know if you'll understand. And part of me's glad if you don't. No daughter of mine should ever know the level of stupidity I had back in high school."
"Maybe so, but there are questions I have that you've never answered," Lacey scooted to sit forward on the sofa again, clasping her hands tightly to keep them from going to her hair. "How did you meet him?"
"He was in my English class, and had a tricked out Chevy van. It was the seventies, you know. We'd cut class and disappear into that thing under a fog of pot," Darlene shook her head. "He was really just as lost as I was as a kid, but with more freedom. He was a trust fund baby gone bad."
Lacey turned her eyes downward, thinking again about her mom's attitude toward people with money.
"Anyway, when we weren't doing the weed, he was an alright guy. A real charmer, a lot of fun. Smarter than I was, but he's the one who convinced me to drop out of high school with him. So we did, and did a lot of partying and driving around in that smoky-ass van. At least til I found out I was pregnant with you. Then I wanted to straighten out and do things right. I wanted the Norman Rockwell portrait, you know? A good, hard-working husband who loved me and a baby I could raise with more than I ever had. And he did marry me. In the courthouse wearing a dirty camouflage t-shirt. I wore a pink dress I borrowed from a friend." Mom paused to glance over at Lacey. "You sure you want to hear all this?"
Lacey nodded. "I've got to push through it, Mom. Go ahead."
Her mom brought both hands up and rubbed over her face. When she was done and let her hands rest in her lap, Lacey thought about how much her mom had truly aged in ten years. The lines on her face were way deeper than they should have been at only thirty-five.
"I don't know where we thought the money was going to come from. His parents cut him off and sure, he said he would work, and he tried to. But he stayed too high to be able to keep a job. I think he wanted to, but for him, it was a real hang-up. By then he'd gotten onto some of the harder stuff, but of course I kept telling myself it was only temporary, that he was just stressed out. He'd straighten up once he got a job he could keep and started making money." she shook her head incredulously. "I was still in his corner, thick or thin. Let me tell you, I was a world class idiot. We went and stayed on a commune for a while, and that was a pretty wild adventure. I had you there. But it was also a rough way to live. So I wanted to leave and come back home after you were born, but he wanted to stay. Of course he did. Plenty of other people doing drugs there."
Lacey listened with rapt attention, having never heard any of this before.
"So I stayed for two years before finally telling him I was taking you back home. Let me tell you, he wasn't happy. He kept threatening me by saying he was going to find me, take his kid back…" her mom trailed off, staring at the wall, upon which probably projected a montage of memories for her. "But he didn't. Not for a long time. Oh, he would find out where I was every so often, even after I met Stuart, and he would call. All these threatening phone calls, higher than a kite through all of them. That kept up for years. I mean, it was unbelievable to me how the man ever kept track of me because we changed our phone number so often. But he did, and one night Stuart answered and told him not to call back. This was the night before he took you." She paused then and looked over. "Lacey, you're completely white."
"I think," Lacey managed to whisper, "we need to stop there for now."
Darlene reached up quickly and brushed hair away from Lacey's face. "I think going back to Dr. Hemby might be good, especially in light of this parole hearing. You've never really worked through this, Babe. But then, neither have I."
"Maybe… maybe I will," Lacey opened and closed her hands a few times, trying to bring the feeling back into them. "Right now though I think I just need to go to finish some homework."
Her mom's brow furrowed, deepening the line between her brows that Lacey noticed earlier. "I'm sorry. I still don't know that tonight was the right time to go into this. Sometimes I'm pretty terrible at doing this mom thing."
"No, that isn't true. You're really great, better than you think you are. That night was just something you couldn't have stopped from happening then, and you can't fix now." Lacey stood. "Thank you for talking to me about it, I've just got a lot to do." She leaned down and kissed her mom quickly, rushing upstairs before she could even look back.
Lacey was reeling, both from the news and from the information about her past she had never heard before. She was born on a commune? What? And yes, she did have homework. But she knew she would never get it done now. It would take weeks, she worried, for her to be able to manage her anxiety over this. She could definitely forget sleeping tonight, anyway.
There was only one person she wanted to talk to right now for comfort, and all she needed was to hear his voice. He could even tell her all his driest stories from the NHL Hall of Fame as long as he would speak into her ear.
She reached across her bed and picked up the cordless phone, tears streaming down her cheeks. She punched in the numbers, waiting through two rings before he picked up.
"Adam?" she closed her eyes in relief.
