A/N: Guys, I am SO sorry my updates have continued to be so slow. I've had some serious trouble with time management lately between work, finishing up writing this story, and going back and editing these former chapters to post up on the site. As I'm about to be done with the actual writing, I'll have more time to devote to going back over things.
I know we're right at the threshold of summer, but maybe you'll still be able to appreciate a little Christmas cheer with a hint of romance thrown in. I hope it doesn't disappoint!
"I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true: all I want for Christmas is you."–Mariah Carey
"Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day"
Alice's happy Christmas Bing Crosby CD spun away on the stereo player as Lacey tried to reconcile it with the tense atmosphere as Hilda opened her gifts.
"It's a new cross-stitch pattern book!" Alice informed Hilda brightly as the dour-faced woman ripped the paper off a thick book and stood examining it for a while. "I know you like cats, roses and Jane Austen quotes, and you'll find patterns for all those things in that one book. My granddaughter helped me find it. Did you know, Hilda, that if you have the ISBN for a book - that number on the bar code - then you can find it somewhere in the world, even if not locally? I tell you, I certainly had no idea about that."
Hilda barely had the opportunity to get a word in, but the corner of her mouth quirked up as she nodded, reading over the back of the colorful hardback. "Thank you, Alice," she finally said, setting the book on the counter in front of her.
"And I believe our Lacey has something for you as well," Alice's eyebrows waggled comically as she stepped aside.
It was with every bit of willpower she could muster that Lacey stepped up and set a wrapped shoebox-shaped item in front of Alice, complete with the prettiest, fullest bow she had been able to find at Kmart.
Hilda watched Lacey for a minute over her glasses, then gingerly began tearing off the wrapping paper one small piece at a time, as though expecting at any moment to detonate a bomb. After she had it completely unwrapped, she stared at it for a moment, just as she'd done with Alice's gift.
"It's a sewing box you can keep all your supplies in," Lacey explained. She had seen Hilda bring her cross-stitch to Cat's Cradle before in a simple grocery bag, so she thought this might be of use to her. "And there's more embroidery floss in there for you. Just basic colors, but I figure you can't have too many of those." She practiced a nice smile.
"Hmm." Hilda examined the box from all sides, opening it up and taking out the new embroidery floss. She seemed fascinated by the gift, and Alice winked at Lacey out of the corner of her eye.
"Thank you for all you do here," Lacey finished, trying to be earnest. But if Alice had taught her anything, it's that sometimes you have to act earnest before you feel earnest.
Hilda looked back up at her and gave the closest thing to a smile Lacey had ever seen out of the woman. "Thank you. Same for you."
It was the shock of her life, but Lacey smiled and nodded.
"Well!" Alice clasped her hands together. "Thank you for coming in especially to gift swap with us today, Lacey, even though it's usually your day off. And for helping us sort out all these Angel gifts! Heavens did we ever hit the jackpot this year."
"Oh it's no problem. I mean, I had to come pick up Stella anyway."
"Ah yes! Stella. Well, I got her all ready for you, crate and everything," Alice led her into her office, where Stella was mewing like crazy, and Lacey could see, upon kneeling down in front of the carrier, that she was adorned in a pretty tartan colored bow.
"Alice, wow, how did you even find that? It's so pretty!" It was all Lacey could do not to take Stella out and cradle her. "It's the perfect compliment to her fur color."
"Oh, just some scraps I had laying around," Alice chuckled. "And here's starter food, and a litter box with litter. Everything you need! Her favorite toys are in the carrier with her. Now you know she'll be well cared for at this home? You know how it can be after Christmas," she pressed down the front of her dress and sighed. "So many people are gifted pets, then decide they don't want them, and we end up overloaded again."
"I know. That does happen, but I'm pretty sure this family is going to be good to her. Adam always seems to think things through, so I trust him that his mom will love her," Lacey smiled up at Alice before standing. "And by the way, I got you something too." Lacey went over to the corner of the office, picking up her purse under which she was hiding a brightly wrapped box. "Here. I can't wait for you to open it," she beamed, presenting it to Alice.
"Oh darling, you shouldn't have bothered! I know we're not able to pay you what you're worth here." But Alice smiled warmly, and Lacey thought she saw wet eyes. Her supervisor began unwrapping the gift, giving a squeal when she saw the book. "I've wanted to order this so many times, but wouldn't let myself!"
Lacey chuckled. She'd heard her supervisor mention the book about prayer so many times she knew exactly the name and author for the Barnes & Noble associate that helped her order it. Within a couple of weeks, it had been delivered, and just in time. "I'm glad I could find it for you. There's also a card," Lacey pointed out. "But don't read it here. Read it on Christmas morning."
Alice rarely complained, but there were days - particularly during this season - when she was quiet, and Lacey knew she missed Vernon. Lacey truly felt for the two ladies she worked alongside who were both widows. It wasn't something she could connect with on a personal level, as she still figured herself to be years away from marriage. But she knew how badly it must hurt to lose someone who had become your entire life.
"And now for you, Dear." Alice bent down to take something from under her desk, smiling almost mischievously as she stood back up, handing her own gift to Lacey, which was tucked into an envelope that obviously had something more than a card in it. Upon opening it, Lacey inhaled sharply. She pulled out a plastic Vidal Sassoon card upon which was attached an incredibly beautiful hair barrette of various jewels and resin flowers, all clustered together to comprise a gorgeous hair accessory. "And there's more," Alice waited, her eyes lighting up.
Lacey narrowed her eyes in mock-dismay at Alice for having gone through so much trouble. But what she pulled out next caused her heart to race a bit. She somehow knew what Alice was going to say as Lacey examined the gift certificate to the nearby cinema for twenty dollars.
"You can wear your new barrette out for a date! You know, that Titanic movie is coming out right after Christmas. It's supposed to be quite good. Inside Edition says it was very expensive to make. But now…you do know there's rumored to be a nude scene somewhere in it. So when you take your young man, make sure he hides his eyes," Alice grinned. "Adam seems to be quite the gentleman, but…."
"Oh!" Lacey cut in, flustered, not sure what to address first. "I don't know that I can take Adam to see a romance movie, I mean… we're not dating."
"But you want to be, don't you?" Alice tilted her head, still smiling. "I see how you watch him when he comes in, and how he watches you, too. There's something about the two of you that spells puppy love. And I want you, Lacey, to enjoy every minute of it. Those moments are sacred, and you never forget them. I met my Vernon in high school. Sometimes it happens that your first love is your only love. But even if it's all just for now, you should still have great fun." Alice patted her shoulder. "Now! You should get Stella to her new home before she spoils her grand entrance with a foul mood."
Lacey chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, not sure why Alice's words meant so much to her. But she was right. Seeing or talking to Adam was always the high point of her day. She wasn't sure if she felt like crying now because of the overload of emotions she'd been feeling in his presence lately, or because she wasn't sure he would ever - at least before he went off to college - be ready to date. And who knew if he'd want to date her? Their friendship was too good to mess up anyway, however, she tried to convince herself.
But she tugged her mind back to the present. "Alice, thank you. You have no idea how…" but Lacey broke off as she tried to find the words to express what Alice meant to her. Although in truth, she already had. "Just be sure to read your card."
Alice placed her hand briefly on Lacey's cheek in a maternal gesture. "I will. Meanwhile! Do you need help carrying all this?"
"I'll help," Hilda called back. Had she been listening this whole time? That wasn't surprising for Hilda, but her offer to help was.
"Um, sure," Lacey called back, picking up Stella's carrier with one hand and the cat food with the other after she'd tucked her envelope from Alice safely in her back pocket. "Can you get the litter and the box?"
Wordlessly, Hilda came back and did as asked.
"Have a Merry Christmas, Alice," Lacey called back as she made her way to the door with an uneasy Stella.
"You too, Hon."
Lacey held the door open with her back, letting Hilda go out first. They silently loaded Stella and the cat supplies into her car, but before Hilda left to go back inside, Lacey called after her, "You have a Merry Christmas too, Hilda. Thank you."
"You too," Hilda replied, hesitating for a moment before adding hastily. "And thank you for the sewing box and embroidery floss. I'll be using them." With that, she disappeared back in the door over which blinked the colored Christmas lights Alice had used everywhere. The inside of Cat's Cradle almost looked like a disco.
The drive to Adam's house didn't take that long typically, or at least hadn't the one time she'd been there, but it felt like an eternity today due to Stella's eagerness to be out of her carrier. When she made it into his neighborhood, Lacey felt the same old intimidation she'd faced last time. But, remembering Yvette's warm smile and the Irish Breakfast tea she'd served her, a sense of calm began to replace her anxiety.
Finally she parked in front of the house and did a quick scan of herself in the mirror. She'd opted to be casual in a nice, fuzzy red sweater she'd gotten from Stuart and Mom as a gift last Christmas, jeans, and snow boots under which she had donned thick and cozy Christmas patterned socks. All this red called for red lipstick, which she touched up quickly and twisted a couple of blonde tresses around her face flatteringly, hoping the picture she'd present was good enough for an evening at the Bankses.
She got out of the car then, not wishing to be caught primping, and took little Stella out of her carrier, arranging and fluffing her bow before settling the trembling animal in her arms and whispering endearments as she went to the door. If things went as she and Adam had planned, she only needed to ring the doorbell and wait, which she did eagerly, heart pounding.
Suddenly the door opened and Lacey blurted out "Merry Christ… mas…"
A young man stood there, eyes narrowed as though trying to figure out the situation. "Hi there. And you are…?"
Lacey blanked. The idea was that Yvette was to open the door. Suddenly she saw Adam coming up behind this other guy, shaking his head and rolling his eyes in exasperation. "She's my friend, Travis. Let her in."
Ah, so this was Travis.
"Uh huh," he flashed a cocky smile, which reminded Lacey instantly of Phil. Travis was a bit shorter and stockier than Adam, bearing a lot more of his dad's facial features, just as Adam had told her.
Adam flushed. "Can you move, please?"
Travis finally moved over so Adam could open the door wider for Lacey. "Sorry," he mumbled. "He caught the door before Mom could."
Lacey stepped in the door, still holding little Stella, who was pretty nonplussed by the confusion.
"That your cat?" Travis eyed Stella warily.
"No, it's a gift for your mom. I'm Lacey by the way." She spoke confidently, feeling there was something about this guy she didn't care for. "Adam's friend," she reemphasized.
Travis turned back to Adam. "You sure Mom's gonna like-"
"Travis? Where's our guest?" Yvette ventured into the vestibule, looking fabulous in a high ponytail and a Christmas sweater with bell-bottom jeans and slippers. "Oh!" She stopped short when she saw Lacey.
"Merry Christmas, Mom," Adam spoke with uncertainty. Lacey could tell Travis's presence had had an effect on him. "This is Stella."
Lacey beamed and held up the little bundle of yellow fur, long limbs, and tartan bow.
Yvette stared in confusion for a moment before breaking out in a grin. "For me?! It's mine?!"
"It sure is," Adam smiled. "I know you've wanted a pet… and you seem to like cats."
"Like?! I love them! Oh good gracious!" His mom came over, wringing her hands for a moment as though wanting to take the cat, but afraid to.
"You can hold her. She's really calm and sweet," Lacey handed her over. "And I've got everything you need for now. Food, a cat box, and litter. Although it's shelter litter, and…" Lacey wrinkled her nose, "...you might want to get something better."
"Your name is Stella? Hello, Stella! You are so beautiful!" Adam and Lacey smiled, watching Yvette with her new little charge. "My babies have grown up, and I was just thinking I needed a new one. You'll do wonderfully!" Yvette wandered away, holding Stella and talking to her as though about to take her on a tour of the house.
"Told you she'd love her," Adam whispered, heading outside to get the supplies out of Lacey's car. "Wanna come?"
"Sure," Lacey was only too ready to get away from Travis, who stood surveying the situation with folded arms.
"God," Adam remarked as they made their way down the sidewalk. "Travis came a whole day earlier than we were expecting. I'm sorry, I had no idea. I mean he usually does try to make it for White Christmas night, but he'd told us he couldn't this year, so…"
"No no, it's okay. He's your brother." Lacey had only to open the backseat car door before Adam swooped in and grabbed all the supplies at once.
"Want me to help?"
"I got it," Adam shrugged, tucking the cat box under his arm and carrying litter in one hand and food in the other one. She reached into the front seat to grab the empty carrier.
"What's he like, Travis?" she whispered.
"Obnoxious" Adam rolled his eyes again. "Completely full of himself sometimes. And here's your chance to experience it firsthand."
"Well glad I got to meet him anyway." Lacey had to practically run to keep up with Adam's stride. He brought the supplies in and went in search of his mom, Lacey following. They finally found her in her studio, walking around with Stella as though showing her each painting.
"Oh!" she giggled when Adam and Lacey appeared in the doorway. "Sorry I left everyone. I guess I got a little carried away. You can put all that stuff down in here, son," she instructed Adam. "Lacey! Are you ready to eat dinner with us, and watch the movie? Adam cued me off that you might be coming by, although I surely had no idea you were bringing me this little beauty."
"Yes ma'am, I was going to stay if it's ok with you guys. I know you've already got an extra guest with Travis and all, so I don't have to."
"Nonsense. I fully expect you to stay here and have a glamorous meal with us, of… pizza." Yvette let out a short laugh. "I let Lynn go early today to prepare things for her own family, and I just decided I wasn't cooking one more thing. I'll be doing enough of that tomorrow. So, pizza it is! What toppings do you prefer?"
"Oh, um…" Lacey paused, typically picky about pizza, but she didn't want to let the Bankses know that. "About anything…? I like veggie, but I would still be happy with whatever you get."
"How about we make one of them veggie, then?" Yvette's eyes crinkled as she gently set Stella down. The three of them stared at the little cat, wondering what she would do. Stella immediately began to wander around the room, seemingly content to just explore. But Lacey quickly went to put litter in her box, making sure she knew this was where her bathroom would be and nowhere else.
"Mom, have to say, I had no idea you wanted a cat," Travis joined them just then. "I mean, 'course she's cute and everything. Hey!" he knelt down in front of Stella, but the cat immediately skittered back.
Adam snorted and looked away.
"Ah, damn! What's that for, huh?" Travis tried to reach out for her, but she sought solace behind Yvette's legs, peering out at him from behind them.
"Travis, you're loud. And you're just sort of… I don't know, a commanding presence?" Yvette softened the statement.
"Yeah, she deals best with…" Lacey began, but knew she'd have to proceed carefully with how she said this. "Quieter personalities at first. Of course, I don't have enough of one either," she added, sincerely hoping Travis didn't take this the wrong way,
But he merely shrugged. "I'm more on dogs anyway." Then he turned his eyes to her, flashing her a friendly enough smile. "So tell me about you, Lacey. How d'you know little brother here? He plays hockey and hides out in his room. Pretty hard for him to meet a girl doing either."
Lacey glanced over and saw Adam's cheeks color and his eyes touched the floor. Intentional or not, Travis's comment had come off as snide.
Yvette came to the rescue. "Why don't we wait until dinner and see how much Lacey wants to tell you? We don't need to put her on the spot. I did quite a good job of that myself when she came by a couple weeks ago."
"Oh. Yeah, 'course." Travis gave a friendly wink. "Don't worry, we don't demand to know blood type or anything. Just need a hair follicle to do a DNA test on to make sure you're not related to a criminal or anything." He laughed.
Lacey had prepared herself to chuckle at the comment when it began, but by its end, she came up short. But thankfully no one seemed to notice except, briefly, Adam, who watched her nervously for a few extra seconds.
"Will you go order the pizzas for us, Dear?" Yvette leaned down to pick Stella up once again, stroking her paws and bringing them up a little to examine her soft pink pads. "One pepperoni, one veggie, and one supreme. Plus an order of cheese sticks for you," she smiled sweetly at Travis.
"Yeah, all right." He turned to head out the door all too quickly.
After he left, Adam spoke quickly. "Don't worry about him, he just likes to joke a lot. He can take it too far sometimes."
"True, he can. You let us know if anything he says bothers you, Hon," Yvette supplied.
Lacey chuckled, but before she could say anything else, she heard another voice in the doorway.
"I'm home."
Lacey turned quickly and came face to face with Phil. He stared at her for a moment as though trying to place her.
"Hey, You," Yvette handed Stella to Adam and then bounced over to her husband to give him a quick kiss. "We have a new tenant."
Phil's eyes shot back to Lacey, who began shaking her head adamantly.
"Dad, it's the cat." Adam held Stella up. "Remember me telling you?"
"Oh." Phil set down his briefcase. "The kitten, right." He stepped over to Adam and clucked his tongue at Stella, scratching under her neck. Stella was plainly pleased with the attention. "And she's called Stella?"
"Yeah, isn't it perfect?" Yvette beamed. "It means 'star'."
Phil looked over. "Is that right?" he smiled, giving Stella a final head pat before turning back to Lacey. "And you are...?"
Adam's dad wasn't unpleasant, but the answer to his question stuck in her throat.
"This is Lacey, Phil. Adam's friend. She's going to be joining us tonight." Yvette took Stella back. "He invited her, and I'm pleased he did."
"Ah, well welcome, Lacey," Phil nodded to her distractedly, then turned back to his wife. It would seem he hadn't made any connections between her and her mom. "Did the roofing guy come today to pick up the orders for the apartments on King Street?"
"No, he didn't, Phil, and you've already forgotten the rules." Yvette turned back to Lacey, shaking her head and pointing at Phil. "This one doesn't remember a thing."
Adam chuckled. "No 'business' talk when we have guests, Dad."
"Okay, okay. But did he?" Phil gave Yvette a quick kiss on the cheek, and as they continued to banter, Lacey smiled. Here were two very different people who seemed to really love each other. If this were possible for Adam's parents, and even for her mom and Stuart, could it be possible for her to find one day?
She had to fight hard against Max's voice, which still haunted and tormented her every day. Who do you think would ever put up with you, Lacey?
But her mom had found Stuart while toting around a baby by another man, and Yvette the artist had managed to rope in Phil the businessman. Love was surely stronger than anything else. And, as Lacey watched Adam's parents petting and playing with Stella together, she had to hope there was a portion of the magic left for her, too.
While they waited on pizza, Adam took Lacey on a brief tour of the parts of the house she hadn't seen earlier. She'd come to learn there were seven bedrooms in this giant place, a couple of which were included in what was called a "mother-in-law" apartment - basically a guest house.
"I'm actually going to move in here after Christmas," Adam informed her as he showed her around it. "It just makes sense, with practice schedules and everything. I'm always coming in and out alot, and it has its own entrance."
He then showed her his bedroom, which was full of hockey trophies, NHL posters and everything else hockey-related, not surprisingly. But she did notice, laid out nicely on his pillow, the palm tree heating pad she'd made him.
He followed her eyes. "I use it every night. Who knew you were a pretty good seamstress, too?"
Lacey smiled at him, turning away when she felt her cheeks begin to burn. "So I have to ask, where are all the embarrassing family photos? You've seen a few of mine."
"Oh, heck, they're everywhere," he mumbled. "The wall beside the staircase is where most of them are, though. Travis has a staircase, and I have one. I'll cut Travis a break and take you down mine."
Adam led her down a few more halls to show her some of the other rooms. Each one seemed like a page straight out of a Belk catalog, and Lacey hardly knew what to think about so much perfection in one spot. Like, had Yvette furnished each and every room one at a time so she could curate everything to match? Or had she worked on various rooms at once? She was at a loss to even figure out how this kind of lifestyle even worked.
"You have a hot tub!" Lacey slapped Adam's arm as he showed her a screened in balcony.
"Hey! You can come use it anytime you want," he rubbed his arm. "The team came over here once with that goal in mind, but Connie and Julie jumped in and commandeered the whole thing. Wouldn't let anybody else in," he laughed. "Okay, I just heard the doorbell. I think pizza's here. I'll take you down the way I promised, though."
Sure enough, the wall beside the staircase Adam led her down was covered in various framed photos of him. They ranged from his (too handsome) senior pictures to pictures of him holding hockey trophies, sporting two missing front teeth. There was one of him as a toddler, dressed in one of those rich kid sailor getups with a hat perched atop his blonde head as he gazed into the camera seriously alongside a cheesing Travis. Looking then to her right, Lacey stopped short.
"Look at this!" she traced her finger over a little etched nameplate at the bottom of a frame in which a baby was wearing a long christening gown. "Adam Landon Banks." Your middle name is your mom's artist name?"
"Yeah, well more like my mom's artist name is her maiden name."
"Oh," Lacey wrinkled her nose. "Yeah, that might have been obvious."
"No, not necessarily," Adam looked at the inscription alongside her. "Some people do paint under random names, but Landon was mom's last name before marriage. She started selling paintings right before she met Dad, so she just decided to keep it simple, I guess."
"And what's Travis's middle name?" Lacey knew she must sound terribly nosy, but she couldn't help it. She was fascinated with this family and wanted to know as much as she could about it.
"Alexander. Also before you ask, we're not Catholic. We're Presbyterian. Was that the next question?"
"Actually, yeah," Lacey laughed, regarding the christening gown again. "Gosh, you have so much history here in your house." She looked up toward the third level, and all around. "I mean, to be surrounded by all the things that made your life what it is now, it must be… very cool." She looked back at him, only a couple of feet higher than her on the stairs. "My mom has nothing from when she was a kid, and Stuart didn't bring a thing with him from Scotland when he came."
"Why did he come here, by the way?" Adam joined her on the same step and they continued down slowly.
"I think he was just young and wanting a change," Lacey shrugged. "Like a lot of kids I guess. And people have always thought of the U.S. as being this big land of opportunity. He probably changed his mind pretty quickly, though. He came as a skilled laborer - he's a welder - who didn't mind making a little less than Americans wanted then, but he had to live in an apartment with like four other guys in Michigan. That's where he met his ex-wife, and then they moved over here which is where he got divorced and then met my mom. Isn't it crazy where life takes you?"
"You can say that again," slight bitterness edged Adam's voice. "Not much use in making plans because you never know what's gonna change them."
"What's changing what?" his mom walked by below them, smiling up.
"Nothing, we were just talking about the house, pictures, stuff…" Adam improvised as he and Lacey finally reached the bottom step.
"Alright, well hustle. Pizza's here and you might have one slice left each if you don't get down here and beat your dad and Travis to it."
It felt odd to eat pizza on nice Christmas china. But in the Banks household, all the boxes remained on the counter, and all the places at the table were set just as though they were about to engage in fine dining. Lacey only hoped she could rise to the occasion. Sitting down for a meal with only Adam and his mom was one thing - sitting down for one with Travis and Phil in addition would be a serious test. But she was determined to make every moment of this count.
They were soon off to a smashing start as Travis landed in on teasing Adam immediately. Whether this was his usual behavior or it was made worse by his beer drinking, Lacey couldn't tell. But she could see Adam shrinking into himself more and more as dinner wore on. Travis wasn't being intentionally cruel, but his remarks were becoming a little too much to handle.
"Oh yeah, man, to see Adam playing hockey for the first time," Travis chuckled, taking a slice of supreme from the counter before coming and sitting down with it. "He had some serious talent. We could all see that, but as a little kid, he was so much smaller than the other kids he would get creamed out there. And then he would come back to Mom, crying about it. It took Dad and I forever to instill in him, "Hey. This is hockey, Buddy."
"Yeah, but look at him now. He can take the worst of it," Phil smiled at Adam before cutting into own slice of supreme with a fork.
Adam smiled a little before gingerly picking up his slice of pepperoni. Maybe it was because he had a friend over, but Adam didn't seem much in the mood for teasing tonight.
"Oh absolutely, the guy's a force to be reckoned with on the ice now. Much more so than I ever was," Travis added after chewing his bite and swallowing it. Lacey was feeling pretty proud of Adam's big brother for finally owning up to his giftedness, but he immediately dashed it all by saying, "Now if only we can get him a girl. I mean, I thought for a while that he must be into dudes."
Adam's face reddened and he set his pizza down, clearly about to say something.
"Travis!" Yvette frowned, looking up at him. "Why don't you speak a little more grace and confidence over your brother instead of constantly picking at him like you do?"
"Sorry, sorry." Travis nodded to Adam in what must be intended as an apology, but couldn't suppress a little mischievous smile as he took another swig of his beer.
Beside her, Adam took a deep breath and picked up his pizza again.
Lacey tried to think quickly how to salvage the situation. "Oh believe me, I've seen him talk to girls. He's completely capable. Remember that barista at The Daily Grind? Jodi?" she issued him a conspiratorial wink. "You guys seem to have pretty good chemistry. Think that might go somewhere eventually?"
Phil looked up, eyes glowing. "Ah, so you're talking to a girl at The Daily Grind?"
But Adam's face was still flushed, and Lacey realized she hadn't been so helpful to the cause after all. "Yeah, I don't know," he finally replied. "I mean she's nice. It's just I don't really want to make any big connections during hockey season. I think I've said that before," he lifted his eyes to meet his father's, then his mother's.
The words sliced straight into Lacey's heart.
But Yvette nodded. "Understandable, Honey. You should do these things at your own pace. Just as long as you're not ignoring everything else for hockey, which we've talked about-"
"He's not ignoring everything else for hockey, Yvette," Phil cut in defensively. "He's just focusing on his future career. And with the NHL, you have time for absolutely nothing else. He's smart enough to know that."
Lacey saw Yvette narrow her eyes at Phil before she stood up and went back over to the pizza.
Travis whistled. "Jodi? Does she know you're a monk for Pope Gretzy? She's not gonna get very far with you, I know that much. Let her down easy, bro."
During the entire exchange, Lacey could sense the emotions that bloomed within Adam. His face remained flushed, and he kept his eyes down, toying with the pizza on his plate. He was embarrassed. Whether it was with what was actually being said about him or the fact that he was the center of the conversation she wasn't sure, but she could feel his blood pressure rising almost as though it were her very own.
"I mean if she's wanting some serious dude to sweep her off her feet and into a prom dress in a couple months, she's gotta realize she's got the wrong guy," Travis laughed, going to the fridge for another beer as Yvette sat back down.
Lacey felt a little frustrated that Adam's mom wasn't saying more to protect him. But then again, she figured Yvette was really just hoping for a nice family dinner in which she didn't have to correct any of the men at the table. Something told Lacey this was rare.
"Travis," his mom did begin to correct, even if a little lackluster, "Adam doesn't have to even go to prom if he doesn't want to."
"Yeah, why did you sit out Christmas Cotillion this year?" Phil, still eating his pizza with a fork, took a bite and studied Adam for an answer.
"I… I was hurting. Remember the thing with my shoulder?" Adam stared straight at Phil, clearly hoping his parents wouldn't blow his cover with Travis.
"Well…" Travis came by with his beer and mussed up Adam's hair again, grinning. "We love him anyway. Weird little bro."
Before she could think further, Lacey reached her hand over and slid her fingers over to where Adam's own hand rested in his lap. It was a weak attempt to support him during this uncomfortable conversation, but he receptively stroked her fingers with his own trembling hand. They acquainted themselves with one another's touch before fully intertwining their fingers, embracing hands. Lacey squeezed his, rubbing over it with her thumb. Trying to ignore her heart pounding in her ears, she noticed out of the corner of her eye that Adam seemed to have been instantly calmed.
He finally looked up at Travis. "Yeah, I'm not much on knowing what to do with girls beyond the friend thing. But when I want to go for it, I will. It's the ice for me right now. Just how it is, and nothing anybody says is gonna change it." He gave a little shrug, then went back to his pizza.
Travis stared at him blankly and Phil paid extra attention to his fork all of a sudden, but Yvette grinned. "Well! The cheese sticks were just as good from Constantine's as they always are, weren't they?" She stood, whisking the plates away almost as quickly as Adam and Phil could finish their slices.
"So Lacey," Phil surrendered his plate and fork to his avidly cleaning wife. "Tell us about yourself. You live around here?"
Lacey swallowed her Coke a little too quickly, almost choking, but Adam seemed to have anticipated her anxiety as he returned her hand squeeze.
"I… yeah, I, um… well I actually live in western Minneapolis. On one of your rental properties," she bluntly confessed. What was the point in avoiding tension now that it had been burst wide open at the Banks dinner table for the past half hour?
Phil paused. "Oh yeah?"
"... My mother is Darlene Primmer."
Adam unlaced his fingers just enough to stroke the inside of her hand gently. She was instantly warmed.
"Oh?" Phil's reply was swift and immediately betrayed his shock. "So you're Lacey Primmer, then?"
Lacey held eye contact with him. "I am."
Phil cleared his throat, seeming at a loss for words. "Well, how's your mother keeping this holiday season?" He issued an uneasy smile.
"She's doing well, actually. You know her, working hard, trying to be sure my sisters and I have a good Christmas. Which she's always seemed to do."
Phil nodded, his eyes drifting down toward his own beer bottle. He took a quick sip before speaking. "Your mother's a woman I admire strongly, you know."
Lacey had to fix her face quickly. "You do…?"
"Sure," Phil shrugged. "She's worked hard for what she's got. She and Steve will always have a place to live as far as I'm concerned."
"Stuart," Adam corrected, the corners of his mouth turned up in a little smile.
"Stuart! Right. Well." Phil took one more sip of beer and stood. "Pizza was great as usual. You know, I heard Rich Savelli plans to sell the place."
"Well it's peak time for that on the market," Travis replied, and the two of them fell easily into talking about commercial real estate and business management until Yvette shooed them out of the kitchen for her to begin cleaning up.
Adam and Lacey were now sitting alone, still clutching hands. He finally looked up at her, eyes dancing, and she grinned, giving a little shrug. They'd managed to pull together to make it through some daunting dinner conversations on both sides.
But at last, Lacey gave his hand a quick little squeeze and began to slowly withdraw. If they weren't careful, the action could be seen and misconstrued. And sure enough, just as she was getting up from the table, she happened to catch sight of Yvette, watching the two of them in the background as she was wiping off the countertop. She flashed Lacey a sweet smile before turning back to stack up pizza boxes.
"Alright, who's ready for gingersnaps and White Christmas?" she called out.
As it happened, the Banks's den was the simplest and homiest space in the whole house. The basement was the one area Adam hadn't gotten to on his tour, and that's where the family descended to, Phil carrying the plate of gingersnaps, Travis carrying both alcoholic and non-alcoholic eggnog, and Yvette carrying an armload of blankets. Adam ended up carrying Stella.
There was a sectional sofa in front of a large TV and a recliner caddy-cornered to the left. There was, of course, another of Yvette's many Christmas trees in the opposite corner, but this one had a countless number of presents underneath. Stockings hung on the wall just behind it.
The den's walls were made of paneling, and Lacey could tell this room hadn't been remodeled and updated in years. But she found it quirky, and immediately liked it.
Travis claimed the recliner as Phil and Yvette settled into the end of the sectional that bent right, leaving the lefthand side directly in front of the TV to Adam and Lacey.
"It gets nippy down here at night as you can tell," Yvette began passing out blankets, "so we bundle up in these. Phil, every year you say you don't need one, but then I catch you shivering, so take this." She tossed a cashmere throw at him. "Travis, one for you, one for me, and oh-! This one's big enough for both of you guys." She handed Lacey what might have once been a Christmas comforter for a bedroom, so heavy Lacey had to have Adam help her unfold it properly.
"Hey. To be fair," Phil promptly began pouring himself a glass of eggnog, "I only start shivering after the eggnog wears off. Alcohol keeps me pretty damn warm."
"Looks like you need to drink more eggnog then, Dad," Travis held up his glass for a toast.
"He and I can't share a blanket because we fight over it," Yvette explained, pulling Stella onto her lap. "But who needs him anyway, because tonight, who's gonna keep me warm?!" She leaned in and popped a kiss on the cat's head. Stella seemed to already be adjusting well to the extra attention.
"My mom has tons of blankets," Adam murmured as he began to spread the comforter over her. "I don't know where she finds them all, but every time I turn around she's whipped a different one out of another corner. So I can get another one, if..."
"Oh no, we can share," Lacey smiled as she watched him take great pains to be sure she was completely covered. When he settled in under the other end, Lacey took the plate of gingersnaps Phil handed over. "Three trays. Yours, ours, and Travis's."
Yvette suddenly moaned, slapping her forehead. "All this, and I left my blue-light filtering glasses upstairs. If I don't go get them, it'll be a migraine for sure in the morning."
Lacey wasn't sure what blue-light filtering glasses actually did, but it must be enough to cause Yvette to disengage herself from a blanket almost as thick as hers was in order to go back upstairs.
"I'll grab them, Mom." Adam pushed off his part of the blanket and stood up, making quickly for the stairs. "It'll just take a sec."
The passing out of various items finally ceased and the family sat in silence as Adam's footfalls sounded on the floorboards overhead. But leave it to Travis to break the silence.
"You guys should behave under that blanket. If you don't, Mom will know, trust me."
Lacey blinked, looking back over at him. "What?" She tried to sound ignorant of his meaning at the same time as his mom cried out, "Travis!"
"Hey, I mean it! Remember back when I was dating Belinda Garvin during senior year? We ended up so busted when you came downstairs and-"
"Travis!" Yvette repeated, slapping her hands over her ears. "Don't make me relive it!"
Phil rubbed his forehead, eyes closed. "Son, how about we use a little decorum in front of our guest tonight?"
Lacey's face was beet red. "I can promise you Adam and I know how to behave. Or, well, we would if we were dating."
"You guys are trying so hard to play the friend card, but none of the rest of us believe it," Travis said nonchalantly.
"Oh, leave them alone!" Yvette intervened before Lacey could protest. "Do you have to constantly antagonize your brother for something?"
Phil shook his head.
"Hey, seriously." Travis turned a little more to face Lacey. "I can dig it. We like you. I mean, he might be a little slow on the uptake, but give him a chance. He's pretty much the nicest guy in the family."
Lacey was about to ruefully agree with him there when the upstairs door opened and Adam took the stairs two at a time. "Here, Mom."
And before anyone else had the opportunity to contribute to the conversation, it dissolved. Lacey didn't quite know how to feel about Travis's words.
At last, Yvette had her glasses and Adam once again settled under the covers. They set the tray of gingersnaps between them.
White Christmas turned out to be the story of four singers, two of which were predictably bachelors and the other two who were sisters. The duos got mixed in with one another by chance, but went about planning a musical fanfare together to save the quaint Vermont Inn, which belonged to the men's old commander from World War II. The movie was dipped and coated in Old Hollywood magic and Lacey warmed to it despite its cheesy moments. What she enjoyed the very most, though, was listening to Adam laugh freely during the funny parts. She even found herself chuckling at Travis's comical scene commentaries.
And in no way was Adam exaggerating when he had told her earlier that his mom made the best gingersnaps. Lacey nearly embarrassed herself by reaching for cookie after cookie, outdone only by Adam who also reached for them constantly. She prayed the extra sugar wouldn't result in a pain flair for him in the coming days.
Finally one of them reached down for another one and, realizing they'd hit the end, took the tray and set it on the ground beside the sofa. It might have been her or might have been Adam, but all Lacey paid attention to at the time was how close the two of them had managed to scoot to one another throughout the course of the movie. Adam's proximity was warming her very soul just as it was warming her body.
At one point, Bing Crosby's character came across Rosemary Clooney's in the sitting room of the inn very late at night. Betty, the older sister to free-spirited Judy, was unable to sleep for turning over the woes in her head that a conversation with Judy had brought to light. But soon, Bob came on the scene and began gently singing an admonition to Betty to "Count Your Blessings" instead of sheep in order to remedy her sleepless night. As she watched, extra affection and gratitude welled up in Lacey's heart. She thought of the conversation she'd had with Adam just a few nights ago when she'd called crying with the news about her dad, and along with it all her anxieties and overwhelming emotions. She realized he'd done almost the same thing - allayed her fears after listening to her talk by reminding her of the good things in her life and how none of that could be taken away from her simply because her dad might walk free.
What was it he'd said? "You're not a scared little girl anymore, Lacey, so don't stay there. You're almost a grown woman, and one who has a lot going for her."
The way she'd stopped her crying and cradled the phone against her ear, taking solace in Adam's words, reminded her so much of how Betty was now looking at Bob as he sang to her.
What exactly was this? Adam had reiterated clearly just tonight that he was in no hurry to be with anyone. And he'd challenged Travis's assumption that she was his girlfriend by informing his brother firmly that Lacey was only a friend. Yet at the same time, she surely hadn't imagined their connection when they'd gone skating several nights ago. And what about the looks Alice claimed she'd caught him giving her? Had her mom's theory that they were both starting to fall been completely baseless?
What about the intimacy with which he'd caressed her hand tonight under the table, despite the fact that Lacey convinced herself she had offered it only as a good friend's gesture?
She took a deep, cleansing breath to push back the battle roaring in her mind. Because really, it just was what it was - a friendship until declared otherwise. But that didn't mean it couldn't still be special to her in a way she'd never known before. And it didn't mean she couldn't freely admit to herself that somewhere among Adam's first doctor's appointment and the toilet-paper cleanup... the horrible Halloween crime spree that had left her stripped of all her emotional resources, and the Vulcans game... his rescue on Homecoming night and the ice skating adventure that had ended with her in his arms…
She had fallen hopelessly in love with Adam.
Enjoy it, Lacey, Alice had said.
And she would. Lacey turned her head slightly to regard him as Bob Wallace sang the tune that captivated Betty Haynes. He looked over at her and she smiled, not allowing herself to turn away this time.
He didn't turn away either, instead reaching his arm up to discreetly wrap around her shoulders. Lacey moved a little closer to him still, their legs now pressed against one another as she leaned her head against his shoulder for just a moment. Her heart hammered as she enjoyed this whole new sense of closeness to him.
She caught sight of Yvette's sidelong glance after a few minutes, but Adam's mom only smiled, quickly looking back at the TV screen.
"It was really good," Lacey smiled. "I can't believe I've never seen it before. Maybe next year I'll get my parents and sisters to watch it with me."
"Yeah, it's our favorite. This has been a tradition for us ever since Phil and I saw it on a date one Christmas when he only had enough pocket money to take us to the discount movie house in St. Paul," Yvette chuckled. "I'm so glad you joined us this year. Travis, you coming?"
Yvette seemed intent on rushing both Phil and Travis back up the stairs as soon as White Christmas had ended, and Lacey wasn't quite sure why until she realized how Adam hung back.
What was this about? The sudden realization that he might be about to give her a Christmas present washed Lacey over with anxiety. She hadn't brought him over a thing besides Stella.
"So, um…" he began once everyone was gone, and she turned back to him. He sat down cross-legged on the crisp, cotton tree skirt at the foot of the Christmas tree, motioning her to do the same. She knelt down on her knees in front of him, swallowing hard but trying to keep her expression calm and serene.
"I have something for you. And I'm not expecting anything in return, so don't worry about that," Adam tacked on quickly, already anticipating her thoughts. "I did this because I wanted to."
He picked a square box off the top of a mountain of gifts and handed it to her.
Lacey swallowed again, willing away the nervous lump in her throat as she began to untie the ribbon it was decorated with, then started peeling off paper. The box underneath the wrapping was white and nondescript, but when she opened it up she gasped.
She reached her hands in and carefully lifted out a snowglobe with a bass of burnished brass and containing a lone, white figure on old-fashioned ice skates appearing to pirouette across a pond, frosted hunter green-painted trees framing the scene. Upon further examination, she saw that the scarf, hat and gloves of the skater were coated in antique gold.
"Adam…" she sat staring at the quiet beauty of the winter scene through the glass.
"Shake it," he prompted, chuckling. "You always have to shake a snowglobe when you pick it up. It's a rule somewhere."
So Lacey shook it, and not only did white "snow" swirl upward from the bottom of the sphere, but also silver glitter. It transformed the scene into utter magic.
"Adam, thank you," she spoke earnestly after she finally managed to lower it. "You have no idea. I've wanted a snowglobe since I was a little girl, but my mom wouldn't get one because of how the twins always broke everything they picked up. I guess I just stopped thinking about it until…" She held his gift back up.
"Well, I'll tell you, it was no easy feat to find exactly what I was looking for at the last minute like this," he gave her a lopsided smile. "But I can be pretty persistent."
"Yeah, no doubt." She laughed, placing it back in the box to take with her. "Well, this will definitely be going on my windowsill the minute I get home. And I refuse to put it up after Christmas."
"Good. You should. I mean, it's still going to be winter for awhile up here."
"You know what? I may even leave it out in the summer. Nobody's gonna make me put it up before I'm ready," she informed him stubbornly.
He laughed. "I wouldn't even dare try."
After she set the box to the side, Lacey didn't make a move to get up and just remained sitting across from him, hands in her lap. Adam sat forward now with his arms on his raised knees, back toward the Christmas tree as he faced her directly.
"I had a wonderful time tonight. Thank you so much for having me over," she began, feeling a little shaky.
"I hoped you did," he studied her face. "I mean, I know Travis can be a lot, but I don't think he means to be a true jackass. He's just the way he is, I guess. Whatever." But he returned the smile.
Lacey laughed dryly. "He's entertaining, that's for sure."
Then they were both quiet again, Lacey glancing around the room as she tried to think up more things to say to prolong the moment. Finally, she noticed Adam's eyes trained on her face as though studying it for the first time. Similarly, she found her own eyes slowly tracing their way over the well-pronounced cupid's bow she'd thought of millions of times during lazy, slow moments at school or work over the past couple months.
It was Lacey who made the first move. She leaned forward ever so slightly, hoping to let him know he was free to kiss her. He shifted his position, leaning in at almost the same time, and Lacey closed her eyes, relishing him being close enough for her to feel his gentle breath against her lips.
But the next thing she felt, instead of his lips, was him resting his forehead against hers. She opened her eyes, feeling the cold hand of disappointment and confusion as she sought his gaze. But he couldn't seem to hold it, finally pulling back. He gave her forehead a quick, gentle kiss before moving to stand up.
What?
What had she done wrong?
Why couldn't he kiss her when he initially seemed so ready?
Lacey's mind began churning out all manner of possibilities before she strong-armed it back into submission, forcing herself to focus on the next moment. And right now, Adam was standing, holding out his hand to help her up.
She let him, bending afterward to pick up her gift box. Tears sprang to her eyes unbidden, but she blinked them away and raised back up to find herself face to face with him again.
"Lacey," he whispered, eyes pleading. "It's not that I-"
"It's okay," she interrupted him, not sure she wanted to know what he was about to say. But she gave him her best smile. "You don't have to explain anything, it's fine."
And in order to convince him it was, she set her snow globe box back down for a moment to give him a big hug she hoped came across as just friendly.
He held her an extra moment, but afraid he might be pitying her, Lacey gently broke away. "Okay, I'd better be getting home. Let's head up, shall we?"
She had miscalculated something. And rather than feel humiliated for it, she would just pretend the "almost" hadn't happened, and pack away her wishes and hopes for another time. She and Adam were clearly just going to be friends. And she could do that. She had just needed to know where she stood with him, and at last, she did.
She hoped it wasn't noticeable that her hands were trembling slightly as she bent down to retrieve the torn wrapping paper from off the floor. After all his mom had done, noticeably, to give them something of a romantic Christmas in what was doubtlessly her own hopes that Adam would finally get a girlfriend, cleaning up the shredded remnants was the least she could do.
"You really don't need to worry about that. I'll come back down and take care of it," Adam tried to stop her, but Lacey kept collecting scraps.
"No need. See how quick that was? Let's take it up with us and throw it away."
He took her box from her to tote as she carried up the wrapping paper and the gold ribbon that had been tied into such a pretty bow just a few moments before. Her guess was that Yvette had done this too, as Adam certainly didn't seem the type to know how to tie a proper gift bow on a Christmas present. It was thinking about little details like this that helped keep Lacey preoccupied as they made their way quietly up the stairs, leaving all the magic that had happened tonight in the basement behind them. She mechanically went to the kitchen to throw the wrapping away where she was met by Yvette.
"Oh, you shouldn't have cleaned all that up!" Adam's mom helped her stuff the scraps in the trash can. "Adam was perfectly capable."
"He did offer. I just thought I could do it while I was down there." She tried to not betray any negative emotion with her eyes, which is why she kept them slightly averted.
"Did you love it or what?" Yvette beamed.
"The snowglobe? It was amazing," Lacey replied after fixing her expression. "I told him I've never had one before."
"You haven't? Well it's about time, then!" Yvette dusted off her hands and walked with Lacey out to the foyer, where Adam stood waiting for her. "I just set Stella down on the foot of our bed to see if she wants to sleep there. She's had quite the exciting day. After Christmas I'm going to go shop for a bed for her, not that she can't sleep on mine as far as I'm concerned. But I'm not sure how Phil will feel about it. Anyway, I'm rambling again."
Lacey chuckled, turning to her one last time. "I'm really glad you love her. And thank you again for letting me come tonight. It was the most fun I've had in a while."
Yvette gave her a warm smile, and for a moment Lacey wondered if the woman sensed that some disappointment had occurred in the basement after she'd left. But if so, she didn't let on. "I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself. Please tell your family Merry Christmas from us, alright?"
"I will," Lacey nodded. After saying goodnight and taking her leave of Yvette, she turned to Adam, who was waiting with her coat. "Here, I can take it. It's snowing outside, there's no sense in you going out there. But hey, thank you so much for inviting me, and definitely for my present."
Lacey hoped more than anything that she sounded adequately grateful, because she truly was. After all, she couldn't blame Adam or fault him in any way for not wanting the same things she did.
But she practically pulled her coat out of his hands as he was readying to help her into it.
He watched her while she put it on and grabbed her scarf and snowboots next.
"I… I thought I would walk you out like I normally do. It's really no problem."
"You'll freeze, Adam, and I don't want it to set off your pain. I'll be okay, I promise," she flashed him a flippant smile as she reached for her snowglobe, then hesitated, not wanting to leave things more awkward by walking out with anything else appearing unsaid. "And Merry Christmas."
But he just stood, shifting from one foot to the other, which began to irritate her. What else was there to say? It was clear what path they were on now, and he wasn't going to make her feel any differently about it than she was going to change his mind.
"Does your mom's car have good tires? Because I don't mind taking you home."
"Adam," she looked at him intently. "Thank you. But I'm a big girl, and I can take care of myself."
She wanted the thought to stick, and not just in regard to tires.
A deep, dark part of her hoped for a minute he would shrink under her gaze, but he didn't as he continued to stare back, almost defiantly.
"Merry Christmas," he finally broke his gaze but gave her the ghost of a smile. "I'm glad you came."
Lacey made sure her eyes crinkled enough to convey good cheer before she turned and made her way out into the snowy night.
Adam lay awake, staring at the blinds behind which the Ritter family's garish Christmas lights blinked continuously from across the street.
Every Christmas season since he'd been a little boy, he'd taken comfort in the alternating festive colors as he fell asleep. But tonight he wasn't falling asleep quite so easily, and they were just another distraction.
He'd wanted so badly to kiss Lacey. He almost did, but in the end, he hadn't. Why? Why was he so afraid of falling in love with her?
He thought of the way her hair smelled of the bright, flowery Herbal Essence shampoo she used; the way her eyes could appear both warm and safe yet spirited and stubborn at the same time; and he remembered holding her out in Centennial Lakes Park and not wanting to let go. There were the late night phone conversations and chats at the cat shelter, the fits of laughter, and the fierce protectiveness he felt toward her. He remembered how, after his dad had told him about the kidnapping, he'd spent an hour or more trying to find a news article about the incident on the internet. He'd finally found it in the Twin Cities' Star Tribune from nineteen eighty-nine which featured a picture of the smiling, carefree little girl she once was. He'd sat staring at it and wished more than anything that he'd known Lacey back then. He'd have had his parents drive all the way across town just for the chance to hold her hand as she'd lain unconscious at the hospital after that man who was supposed to have been a real father had hit that ditch with this car and thrown her through a windshield.
He might have anticipated that his affection was bound to eventually angle away from friendship and toward something else - something he'd never felt before for anyone.
And something he wasn't ready for.
It wasn't her, it was him. Yet he couldn't tell her that, because wasn't that what people always said? How would she ever believe that at eighteen years old he still couldn't commit to anything or anyone but his hockey career, and that even though he had never even kissed a girl before, he was afraid to do so now? The hard reality was that after a kiss, things changed. He didn't have to have experienced it to know it was true.
Things were great the way they were, and they both would be idiots to throw it all away just because Christmas tree lights were magical and the thought of another's lips on a cold night was so inviting. And no, he didn't want to hurt her.
Yet, hadn't he? She'd seemed so casual about it all after his pull-back, and he was beginning to wonder if he'd been reading the situation wrong this whole time. Did it not matter to her at all that he was captivated by her? Could she not tell? If that truly was the case, then he'd apparently misunderstood her own actions leading up to that night.
Maybe since she'd been with another guy, one far more experienced than he, it had been foolish of him to expect that she'd want to take a step back to meet him where he was in this. Part of him had been relieved to learn she hadn't given Max what he'd wanted from her on Homecoming night, yet he figured she'd still gone far enough with him at some point. Certainly alot farther than the mere kiss he'd been willing at first to offer but found himself unable to even give in the basement a few hours ago.
What he needed was to take some time to pull his head back down onto his shoulders. Then after that, he could proceed with their friendship as it had been before and let the foolishness of the last month go.
Lacey was special. But she surely wouldn't be his only chance to fall in love, right?
Sighing in exasperation, Adam threw his covers off, jerked open his bottom desk drawer, taking out a roll of duct tape, and grabbed an extra blanket from his bed, reaching up to cover his bedroom window against the carousel lights of his neighbors and the merry face of the plastic Santa Claus on the roof with his rosy cheeks and frozen cheer.
