((Disclaimer: No I have no rights to any of the characters or the locations. The only thing I wrote was Alex's mom. I wrote this a year ago, way before we actually did meet Alex's mom, way before Alex and Jay broke up. Way before Alex became a lesbian or whatever. So bear with me. Enjoy.))
That night Alex went back to her doctor who gave her some surprising news. Then she fought with her mother. As you might've guessed, that didn't end very well. So, once again Alex went and slept at Ellie's.
The next day when Alex came home, Jay was
sitting on the porch again. She didn't protest or even say a word.
She simply stepped around him and unlocked the door. He too silently
got up, followed Alex inside and closed the door behind him. Alex
threw her keys on her dresser and picked up a full plastic bag. She
promptly threw the bag at Jay who caught it, slightly
surprised.
"What is this?
"It's all the crap you've
left here, take it." He looked through the bag quickly.
"Is
that the bracelet I gave you?"
"Oh I thought every player
got a prize."
"Lexxi it has your name engraved on
it."
"Stop calling me that." She responded harshly. She took
a deep breath and started shifting around things on the dresser.
"Then take it back to whoever you stole it from. I don't want it
and I don't want to see it. Besides I'm moving out so it might be
a little odd if the only stuff left in here is yours."
"Moving
where?"
"To Ellie's when school ends in two weeks. Because
it was either there or the great Planned Parenthood Home for teens…in
Chicago. So I passed."
"I'll take care of you then…you and
…it."
"Nice try Jay." She said laughing sarcastically.
"But I am trying to limit my time and proximity to you because I
might kill you if you get too close. Secondly Jason Hoggart you
cannot take care of me and your son because you can't even take
care of yourself. I mean you have a car. Never bothered to go to the
clinic and get that STD checked out. Hell even the school
nurse—"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa…it's a boy?" He said holding
up his hands.
"Yeah, I went back to the doc yesterday.
Apparently it's a healthy baby boy. He told me it was a boy and
that I am farther along then I thought."
"How far?"
"Almost
three months."
"Christ Alex. By the way I was thinking about
what you said yesterday. We've been together for way more than just
ten months."
"Yeah actually it is more like 14 months but let
me refresh your memory. We broke up before and guess what, it was for
the same reason. Except that time I believed you. You know what
else…it was definitely more than 9 girls because I know 10 girls
personally. Including Amy and Christy and Jen. So cut the lies Jay
because nobody's buying them anymore okay?"
"Jeez
Alex when am I ever going live this down? I said I was sorry."
"Yeah
you did. Now wait, did you mean it? Everytime you lied to my face and
said you had to get home-where did you really go Jay? Everyone
goddamn time you told me loved me you lied!" She let out all the
frustration she had been holding.
"NO!
I meant it and I am sorry!"
"Right.
Now be completely honest with me Jay. Where were you last night?"
"Home."
"Yeah
right. You were at the ravine hooking up with some random girl."
"No
I wasn't." She kept packing her stuff and putting everything in
boxes.
"Whatever.
It doesn't even matter. You're the father not the boyfriend. At least
not anymore."
He
sat on the bed, back against the headboard. He knew he couldn't
fight her on this. "So have you thought of a name then?"
"A.J."
"That
isn't a name."
"Thank
you, smartass. It stands for Alexander Jayson." She came to her
bedside table where there was a framed picture of her and Jay. She
turned the picture face down and sat on the bed next to him. "What
do you think of the name?"
"You
really want him to turn out like us?"
"As
long as he isn't an asshole and a cheater it won't matter."
"So
you're keeping it?"
They sat there in silence. Jay looked
expectantly at Alex, waiting for her to answer his question. Alex
stared at her hands in her lap, trying to explain things to
Jay.
….
An
hour later Alex sat alone at a table in the Dot. Her eyes had a far
off look and she squinted into the light, thinking hard. Ellie came
in and sat down across from her.
"Hi, I'm Ellie. Earth to
Alex." She snapped her fingers in Alex's face.
"Sorry
Ellie. I'm just-" Just then Jay came over and put a soda on the
table. Alex smiled meekly at him.
"Hey, Ellie. See you guys
later. Bye, Lexxi." He kissed her cheek lightly then left.
"What
was that about?"
"I'm
staying with him and we're keeping the baby." She said while
fiddling with the straw in the cup of soda.
"And
where is he off to?"
"Work."
"He
has a job?"
"I
guess so. He had it coming."
"Can
I ask you something serious?" She nodded. "Why do you…why
can't you just. I dunno, why--"
"Why
do I stay with him?"
"Well
yeah. If he uses you and is so horrible then why put up with it? And
now a baby? Alex are you sure you want this?"
"Because
sometimes it's like it used to be. But really, I know he uses me
but in a way I use him too. In a really sick and twisted way I need
to him. Old habits die hard kind of thing." She took a sip of
coke.
"You
do want to be with him though right?"
"Yeah.
Even after everything. The hardest part is that we've been together
for so long it's like a daily fight, and now having a baby. I seem
really pathetically dependent on a guy. That's so anti-Alex."
They
laughed together.
Alex and Ellie hung out and talked for a few hours. Then they headed
back to Ellie's apartment.
Ellie
stopped in the doorway, "Damn. I left my cellphone at the Dot. I'm
gonna run and get it."
"Hey
El, do mind if I just lay down. I'm not feeling so good all of a
sudden."
"Are
you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I just need to sit
down."
"Okay
I'll be right back."
Alex
being the tough girl she is didn't let on how sick she was. She
felt like her guts were being sucked out of her body. She laid down
on the couch and passed out. She started sweating and breathing
heavily.
Ellie got her cellphone and was leaving the
restaurant. She was walking out the door just as Jay was walking in.
The bumped into each other.
"Sorry
Ellie. Where's Alex?"
"She
is back at the apartment. She didn't feel well so I think she was
gonna lay down. I hope she is okay. We should check on her."
"Yeah,
let's take the car."
They
got to the apartment within 10 minutes.
But
by the time they got there Alex had fallen onto the floor. She was
breathing in very shallow breaths and a small pool of blood began to
form underneath her.
"Oh my god." Ellie gasped once she
saw her.
"What
the hell?" Jay ran over and picked up her head. "Alex? Wake
up...Damnit Ellie what the hell happened?"
"She
was fine when I left her. I'm gonna call an ambulance." She
started dialing on her cellphone.
"She's
unconscious. Lexxi, c'mon." Her picked her up and put her back on
the couch. "Alex, Come on wake up." He stroked her hair out
her face.
"They're
on their way." Ellie told Jay as he was still trying to wake
her.
The ambulance got there and started working on her. Ellie
and Jay followed them to the hospital in his car. They wouldn't let
anyone in to see her for over an hour. And by that time they
contacted Alex's mother. She got there 45 minutes after them and
obviously wasn't happy to see Jay there. After an hour they only let
in her mother. She was sleeping because of the medication.
They
didn't let Jay and Ellie in for another two hours but Alex was still
knocked out. They didn't even stay more than 10 minutes before the
nurses kicked them out. Around that time Alex woke up and felt really
dizzy and sick. Jay started pacing outside the door in the hall.
Ellie
went home to shower and get some clothes for Alex. Alex's mom left
the room for coffee and saw Jay standing there. With dirtiest of
dirty looks she went down the hallway to the cafeteria. The doctor
closed the door behind him and started talking to Alex about her
condition.
"So
how do you feel, Alex?" The young doctor asked while sitting
down.
"Like
a truck hit me. What's wrong with me?"
"You
had a very rare illness associated with your pregnancy. It's a form
of high blood pressure. That is what made you go unconscious. That
coupled with high anxiety made you very sick." She raised her
eyebrows at him in true Alex fashion. "So sick that when you got
here you had already gone through the miscarriage."
"What?"
"Yes.
An operation was done to get you well again but unfortunately, we
couldn't do anything. It was already gone. You're not pregnant
anymore, Alex."
"But--I--What
did I do?"
"Nothing.
There was nothing you could've done to prevent this. It is rare but
can happen, especially in young, first time pregnancies. Now we'll
need to keep you here at least 24 hours. I need to make sure you
didn't loose too much blood. So bedrest. I need to go see about your
test results. I'll be by to check on you in about an hour. I'll send
a nurse in with some food."
Her
face hadn't changed since he had started talking. She looked like he
had just slapped her-and he may as well have. He saw that she was
shocked. "I'm sorry, Alex. I can tell this is hard for you.
You'll have to tell your mother, unless you want me to do it. And
you'll need to tell the father-who I assume is the young man who has
been pacing outside for over an hour. You don't have to do anything
now but rest." The doctor left. Her eyes snapped into focus. All
she thought was Jay.
Then
they finally allowed Jay to come in. He came over and sat in the
chair next to the bed. He laced his fingers with hers.
"Hey."
His eyes drooped with exhaustion.
"Hi."
"So
are you okay?"
"I
will be. But there is something I have to tell you."
"Me
first. Alex I want you to know that I do love you and would do
anything for you. I don't treat you the way you deserve and I really
am sorry. The fact that you decided to stay with me for our baby was
the greatest thing I have ever felt. I need you to trust me and
believe me when I say that this time I really will change. I have to
and I want to. For you and the baby. I want us to be good again."
You
should've let me go first, Jay." Her voice was choked and there
were tears in her eyes, but she didn't let them go. "Getting
pregnant was the last thing I wanted to do. But when you promised me
that we would be happy again, I cherished it. This is harder than I
expected it to be. I love you, Jay."
"I
love you too." She still choked back her tears.
"And
we have gone through so much together but I don't know if we can get
through this one. I'm not pregnant anymore, Jay."
"What?
What do you mean?"
"The
doctor said I had this rare thing that made me so sick and eventually
I lost the baby."
"How
can that even happen?"
"I
don't know. I'm sorry."
"Don't
be sorry it isn't your fault. "
"So
what now?"
What
do you mean?"
"I
mean what do me and you do now? I guess I'll have to stay with my
goddamned mother for another year. But what about us Jay? Do we stay
together, act like nothing has happened when so much has. Do we break
up for lack of reason? What do we do?"
"Are
you saying you don't want to be with me?"
"No
I am just saying I don't know what I'm saying?"
"I
don't know what the hell you're talking about."
"See
we're fighting already. God Jay. Things are never going to be the
same now. We both know it. Apparently I am the only one of us who
will admit it."
"Let's just take it slow. Day by day.
I don't want the fucked up, constantly fighting Alex and Jay. I just
want us to be us again."
"Okay.
Well you'd better get out of here before my mom gets back."
"Why
are you going to stay with her?"
"She
is my mother."
"She
brings home guys that abuse you, she parties. She kicked you out when
she found out when you were pregnant. What kind of mother does that?
C'mon Alex. Your crap is already at Ellie's. Just wait it out. This
way she can't get in the way of us either."
"Speak
of the devil." Her Mom walked down the long hallway and into the
small hospital room.
"Good
you're awake. I heard the news. The doctor said he should have you
out of here by morning." She looked at Jay. "I thought you
broke things off with him."
"I
love Jay and he loves me. That's it."
"Yes
well love doesn't work quite as well as birth control. Which the
doctor has already prescribed."
"Do
you not trust me at all?"
"I
don't trust him. And all those raging teenage hormones. Shouldn't you
be getting along home Jacob?"
"It's
Jay." He said harshly. He kissed Alex quickly and whispered,
"Pick you up tomorrow." He turned on his heel and left the
hospital.
Alex stared at her hands. She knew a fight with her
mother was inevitable. Her mom had always hated Jay, calling him
trash and a drug dealer. She was a huge bitch and always criticized
Alex even though she was even worse.
"You
really thought that boy could support you. He couldn't even buy a
belt so his jeans didn't fall past his ass. He is trash, Alex. And
not all that good looking either."
"Lets
not go there Mom. I love him."
"Oh
no, Alex The minute you got pregnant, which I don't want to picture
by the way, it went there."
"Don't
get me started Mom. You had me just after your eighteenth birthday
with a guy who was almost 24. I get to admit that I was conceived in
an illegal fling affair. And I thought of all people you would
understand and help me when I was pregnant."
"This
is so different in so many ways."
"How?
Age means nothing the minute the strip turns pink."
"Your
father cared about me."
"Then
where the hell is he, Mom? Oh yeah! Miles away in Chicago with a big
fancy house that probably came with a blonde little wife and kids.
Great, I might as well not fucking exist."
"That's
because I never told him I was pregnant, Alex!"
"Then
that just makes you stupid. You think you can stop me from seeing
Jay? Go ahead and try but I love him and that's all you need to
know."
"If
he loves you so much then why did he fool around with other girls?
Answer me that and then we can talk about your father."
Alex
really couldn't combat her on that.
((So
that's where the story used to be. I'll start updating new stuff
soon. I loved Lexicon Of Love. It was such a great
episode. One of my favs so far. In case you didn't notice Alex is
my favorite character and Alex and Jay are my favorite couple. If you
don't like, don't read the fic, cause it can get pretty fluffy
sometimes. The more reviews I get, the faster I update. Please
review.))
