~~~~~
Chapter 3b: And the Band played on.
~~~~~

"Oh? Good morning Kasumi!"

Ranma had decided to do without his shirt since his workouts
tended to work up quite a sweat and he didn't have that an
extensive a wardrobe in the first place. His crew had never
complained about it though so naturally he figured that the
same would be alright here. His years spent in other dimensions
had not destroyed the core of innocence that lay within his heart,
a fact that continued to draw members of the opposite sex to him
like moths to a flame. The main drawback of that well meaning
naiveté was that it also meant that short of directly confronting
him with said interest (and sometimes not even then) the poor Knight
would never realize that it was there in the first place.

Now was no exception to the rule.

That rosy tinge to those flawless cheeks, those sparkling eyes
simmering with barely repressed lust, and the way she tore a
perfectly good apron into teeny tiny shreds of white would
have clued even the most dense of men that something was up.

But this was a Saotome...their cluelessness was legendary.

"So what brings you out here this morning? If you're going
to practice I just finished so the Dojo's free."

It took Kasumi a moment to realize he was talking
to her as her attention wasn't focused on his head.
Her appreciation of Chinese garb rose enormously
as she noticed that after his workout the black silk
pants now molded onto Ranma like a second skin.

"Oh no, I don't train anymore. Akane is the heir
to our family's style. I was curious to see who was
out here at such an early hour, usually Akane goes
out jogging in the morning. She prefers to save her
workouts in the Dojo for when she comes home
from school."

"Sorry about that. I didn't think anyone would mind if
I trained here."

"It's no trouble at all. This place has
been so quiet since mother..."

Kasumi looked down as her voice trailed off.

Human perception is an unpredictable thing. While he couldn't
pick up even the most blatent flirtation if his life depended
on it Ranma had a uncanny knack for being able to recognize
the signs of emotional distress and help a person deal with it.
This was due in part to the fact that he was an excellent
listener (though with rather selective hearing) and a very
compassionate person by nature. So as soon as the words "quiet"
"since" and "mother"were uttered tiny alarms started going off in
his head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to remind you of
any painful memories."

Leaning closer toward Kasumi who still averted her eyes away
from him Ranma placed a warm hand on her cheek and gently
tilted her head up to face him.

A chance ray of sunlight chose that
particular moment to illuminate the
young man's features with a bright
halo as his smiled warmly in an attempt
to let the Tendo daughter know she wasn't
alone and that he was there for her.

A quiet hush descended on the premises
as Kasumi became lost in those concerned
pools of sapphire blue. They seemed to promise
a safe haven from the storm of turmoil that surrounded
her as she kept the household together day after day. Her body
unconsciously swayed and started to lean toward him, bringing
them closer together. She could almost taste his lips, the
moment was so perfect...

Closer...just a few inches more...

Almost there...

~~~~~~~
-You Knew Something Like This Would Happen

Just as this scene was about to become
prime time viewing one of the simmering pots
in the kitchen started to bubble over on the stove.

A slighty unpleasant smell coming from the
direction of the house caused the couple's respective
noses to twitch in alarm, breaking the mood.

"Oh my! Breakfast is burning!"

Withdrawing with a guilty look of disappointment
Kasumi started to rush toward her little kingdom
to avert a potential disaster.

Ranma followed close behind. He still hadn't
put a shirt on yet. Kasumi wisely didn't turn around
to look as she fought to keep her composure. But she also
didn't point out the young man's state of disarray to him either.

~~~~~

"I'll give you a hand in the kitchen."

"It's alright, you don't have to...."

"It's no trouble, as a guest here it's the least I can do."

"Oh....Thank you."

Such a simple gesture of kindness, yet it made her feel
all warm and tingly all over. Had anyone ever done anything
like this for her before? Akane's ill fated attempts at helping her
usually sprang from wanting to impress friends or out of a
desire to simple show the world that she was just as good at the more
feminine arts as "Big Sister Kasumi". Somehow cleaning up the
messes she inevitably made and compensating for the utensils and
dishes she broke or rendered unfit for human contact was always
ignored and left for Kasumi which only added to the workload of
cleaning and cooking for a family of four.The only time Nabiki ever
entered her domain was to pick up something to munch on. As for Father...

Though she knew in her heart that he was a good man even he didn't lift
a finger to do the chores and she didn't have the heart to try and tell him
to do them.

Yet here was someone who she had just
met and he offered his help without asking
for anything in return. Not that she'd mind if he did want
something...oh my...that thought was becoming most improper...

If Kasumi had been wearing glasses they would have fogged
over at that moment.

Fortunately Ranma was able to keep her from accidently
pouring kerosene onto the grill, otherwise the still slumbering
residents would have gotten the mother in law of all wake up calls!

~~~~~~~~

As the hours passed the glorious yellow sun started
its climb across the sky and brought lifegiving light
and heat to the citizens of Tokyo.

Akane and Nabiki opened their slightly bloodshot eyes, yawned
and cursed the early hour that forced them from their beds, then
went to attend their individual morning toiletries. Both made very sure
to check the furo for occupants before entering. Oddly enough both suffered
minor twinges of disappointment upon the discovery that it was indeed
empty after all.

Genma woke up, relatively speaking. Perhaps it would be
better to say that he regained consciousness. Or rather what
passed for a state of consciousness.

{Urghghhh...no more all night sake binges...
...wait a second...this doesn't feel like a hangover...}

The thick stench of burnt fur and body hair quickly got his eyes
open as he sat up.

*CRICK*

Genma's eyes widened as tears of pain formed.
Sometime during the night (when that evil suitcase had
sprouted giant mechanical gloved hands and dribbled
him around like big furry basketball before tossing him
into the koi pond) a disc had slipped in his back. And
boy did it hurt!

Training the boy could wait, he needed a chiropractor ASAP.

"Morning Pop."

It took only a glance to figure out his father's predicament.
Even though he knew it was wrong Ranma couldn't help but
smirk a little. That "ACME Warner surprise upgrade" had been
worth every credit he'd spent for it.

"Ranma my boy...your father needs a doctor. Be a good son
and run along and get one."

"No need, I can fix it."

"Ah..wait a second boy, do you have license for this!?"

"Don't worry Pops...I had a good teacher...trust me..."

Somehow that didn't reassure Genma, it sounded too
much like him right when he'd suggested the trip to Jusenkyo.

`I'm sure it's nothing Ranma, you don't have to!!"

"Oh but I insist..."

The older man did not like that grin he saw on his son's face.

"Wait wait wait!!"

"Now hold still...this may...sting a little."

"Ack!"

Locating the appropriate spot in the small of his father's back
Ranma gave a small tap to it.

*SNAP*CRACKLE*POP*

"YEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!"

The house shook for a moment before settling back down.

`THAT HURT!!!"

"You're standing up aren't you?"

"THAT'S...uh...I guess I am."

"Now if you'll excuse me I've got
to set up the table for breakfast."

"Wait a second boy! It's time for your training! I've
been too lax on you lately! You've become soft and weak
like a woman!"

Ranma tried not burst out into hysterical laughter.
If Genma had dared to say something like that
on the Untamed Stallion nobody would ever find his
body. If there was one thing that he'd learned,
it was that women weren't weak at all.

This was not the reaction the overweight martial artist
had expected, normally even implying that he was
remotely like a girl was enough to send his son charging in
with a full head of steam.

And the boy had even left his back wide open, such sloppiness
was disgraceful! A good thrashing should teach his son better.

The older heavyset man crept up to Ranma as the young man set the table.
Then as his son bent down to place a cup he struck.
Ranma would never know what hit him.

~~~~~~
-1.2344433446 seconds later

*SPLASH*

A soggy brown muzzle poked its way out of the koi pond.

"Nice try Pop."

A few late blooming flowers were being carefully arranged
among the dishes to form a decorative work of art.

~~~~~~
-1.1118327483 seconds later

*SPLASH*

A large bulky form floated to the surface of the water.

"Would you at least wait until I finish?"

The tea set tastefully offset the rice bowls but the chopsticks
needed to be moved a little bit.

~~~~~~
-1.26457 seconds later....

*SPLASH*

"Knock...

1.00033 seconds....

*SPLASH*

"...it..."

.93465 sec....

*SPLASH*

"...off already!"

*KLONG*

A large lump formed on
the now unconscious bear's head
as it slumped against one of
the ornamental rocks bordering the pool.

"He's stubborn, I'll give him that much."

Ranma went to pull his father out before he drowned.
Maybe now Genma would leave him in peace.

{Nahhh.}

~~~~~~

Breakfast progressed smoothly with only one interruption.

"YOU'RE going to OUR school!?"

Akane's look was one that said she obviously
hoped that she'd heard him wrong.

"Yes, here's my transcript."

"How did you get it so fast?! You just arrived yesterday!"

Nabiki was a little flabbergasted, her contacts should have
informed her about something like this weeks ago!

"I made a few arrangements before I came to Nerima. No biggie,
just a little this and that to smooth things along."

He deliberately left out the fact that he'd hacked his way into
the government servers to register and set up a passable background
that would minimize the paperwork the moment he'd set foot in Japan.

Ranma hated paperwork, it was the bane of all decent military personnel.

"Well then, me and Akane will just have to walk
with you to school then and show you where it is."

{Time to start revealing the disadvantages of the competition.
Is that a silk shirt? It looks...nice.}

"Gee thanks!"

"NABIKI!"

"Oh my."

{Drat, I've already graduated.}

~~~~

Akane and Nabiki looked at the carefree martial artist
casually strolling along. This wouldn't have been so strange
a sight had it not been for the fact he was doing so on a narrow
chainlink fence that was taller then they were.

"Why are you walking up there!? Too good to
walk on the ground like the rest of us normal people?"

Akane took this as yet another slight toward herself.
At this rate she was going to earn herself an ulcer before
she graduated.

"She does raise at least one valid question Ranma, why
are you up there?"

Nabiki was genuinely curious to hear his reason
for being up there.

"It's kinda fun."

*WHAM*

After picking herself up from an impressive facefault Nabiki
shot a disbelieving look at what had to be the most
totally unorthodox person she had ever met.

"You're walking on a fence because it's *fun*?!"

"Well, why not?"

"...."

Okay, so for once the Mistress of Wits didn't have a ready response at hand.

It happens.

Silence filled the gap between the three.
Of course Ranma didn't notice it much.
It gave him more time to do important stuff,
like thinking.

"I'm NOT going to marry you, you know!"

Finally the youngest Tendo daughter decided
to break the stifling quiet with her flawless
logic and insight.

The handsome pigtailed young man shrugged carelessly.

"Fine with me."

Akane's eyebrows twitched with suppressed
irritation at having been dismissed so casually....again.

Enter the comic relief.

"You WILL marry one of Tendo's daughters, Ranma!!!"

"Gotta catch me first old man!"

Laughing gleefully Ranma took off across the rooftops
at a speed that a peregrine falcon would have envied.

"Come back here!"

Huffing and puffing, Genma scrambled off in pursuit.

"Honestly, those two are so embarrassing. Why do
they have to stay at our house?"

`Now be nice Akane, they are our guests after all."

"Hmph!"

~~~~~
-About 2 miles later

*pant**pant*'

"Co...co...come...*cough*cough*....bac...
...back..*wheeze*.he..he...he...here...*ugh*..."

Genma collapsed, sweating like a pig and totally
exhausted as he watched his boy vanish in the distance.

{When did he get so damn fast?!}

~~~~~~
-Whoops

Ranma looked around at all the big stores and little shops.

He must have taken a wrong turn back there. This
was the commerical district, not Furinkan. Although it was
rather nice to know where he could go this afternoon to get
some local units of exchange. Money couldn't solve every
problem but it certainly worked well for most of them!

It looked like he'd have to hurry if he didn't want to be late for
his first day of school. A jade green blur bounded from roof to
roof as he finally determined the right direction to go. It was
rather embarrassing to admit that even with his instinctual
knowledge of his exact position in the Multiverse at all times
he STILL got lost sometimes. The funny thing was it had only
started happening after that side trip to a little backwater
dimension...

~~~~~~~

One particular building was home to a pair of sharp eyes.

"Micheru, what are you looking at?"

"I thought I saw someone for a second, Haruka."

"On the roof? Are you sure?"

"Funny though, I could have sworn it was carrying..."

"Carrying what?"

"A...a schoolbag."

"...Maybe you need some rest."

"Only if you're here to share it."

"Well then...hey!..*mmm*...*light sigh*...*giggle*...
...aren't we full of energy all of a sudden...
...*sounds best left to the imagination*..."

~~~~~~~~
-Now where am I?

How hard was it to find one school in Tokyo?
Ranma was about to find that out the hard way.

"Sorry, this is Tomebiki."

He sighed, this wasn't it either.

"I knew I should have taken that
right turn at the Cat Cafe!"

"Look, I've got to get going. Sorry I can't help you out."

"Oh that's okay,....um...."

"Ryuunosuke, my name's Ryuunosuke Fujinami."

"Ryuunosuke? That's strange, what kind of an idiot gives
such a cute girl a guy's name?!"

"..Cu..c...cute?"

*Ba-Bump**Ba-Bump*

"Sure! I mean anybody could see what a pretty young lady
you are. Oh where are my manners, I'm Ranma. Ranma Saotome."

His devasating smile was on full power, he wanted to
make the best impression he could. It worked well...too well in fact.

"..Pr..p..pre...pretty?!"

Ryuunosuke had just passed Cloud Nine and didn't
show any signs of coming back down to Earth anytime soon.

"Sorry to bother you! Ja ne!"

Off he bounded like a grasshopper on steroids.
Leaving behind one very dazed crossdressing girl.....

{Furinkan High...maybe I can see him..er..I mean it, later.}

Somewhere in the neighborhood a monk named Cherry raised his
head and uttered two words that pretty much summed up the
building situation.

"Most ominous..."

~~~~~
-Uh...

Saint Hebereke. Nope, he definitely had
no business at an all girl's school.

Maybe he should have checked the map
*before* he left. The only consolation he
had was that at least none of the people
he knew were here to see this, he'd never
live it down.

He wondered if that kid he had met in junior
high had gone through anything like this. What
was his name again... Ryo...Ryoda Hidiki...
or something like that...

Far, far away in the wilds of China something
warm, fuzzy, and pure evil sneezed.

~~~~~~~~
-This Is Getting Ridiculous

{Not again!}

This was starting to get out of hand.

"Ah, excuse me. This isn't Furinkan High School is it?"

"No, this is Gravitron High."

{DOH!}

"Thanks anyway Miss ah...."

He was talking to a dust trail.

"Oh well. Let's try that again."

He'd probably never run into that redhead again anyway.

Once more into the breach.

~~~~
-Good Night Everybody!

"WHAT THE HECK?!!"

{Big...Toenail...of...Satan...Educational...Facility?!!}

This didn't look anything like a school,
he'd seen Kreeghor Prisons less intimidating!!

A very naked young lady ran past dressed in a red mask with
a matching pair of high heel boots.

"..."

Carefully Ranma blinked his eyes a few times.

{Please tell me I did not just see a naked girl in a red mask run by.}

Today was not shaping up to be a good day.

Try again.

~~~~~~~~~
-One more time!

*ZOOM*

At this point Ranma was getting a little desperate,
if he couldn't find Furinkan soon he was going to
be late. So here he was chasing after a bicycle doing
better then 80 mph down the quiet streets of Nerima.

At least the girl was cute.

"HI!"

Amazingly she could talk to him and pedal like a maniac
at the same time without running into something.

"Hi, do you know where Furinkan High is?"

"Hmm...Nuku Nuku remember! Take next right and go straight!"

"Thanks!"

"BYE BYE!"

Nuku Nuku waved back at her new friend as
she decided to start really moving.

*WHOOSH*

The ten speeder that was going at least nine speeds faster
then it was ever intended to abruptly went from Warp drive
to Ludicrous speed.

Lines of plaid bounced off Ranma's now sheepish
face as he was left behind in the dust.

{This IS my home planet, right?}

~~~~~~~
-Elsewhere

Ranma wasn't the only one having a hard time swallowing this.

"I don't believe this! How can anyone fumble SIX
navigational bearing rolls in row and not be a Hibiki?!"

Even dressed in stately white platemail, somehow
the figure managed to convey a sense of twitching
incredibility.

The dark robed one pulled out a small notepad and
then looked at the various enchantments and alterations
in play on Saotome to jot them down for posterity.

After a moment a very oversized sweatdrop appeared.

"I think I'm going to need a bigger notebook."

~~~~~
-At long last

"Whew! Finally found it!"

He had arrived just in time, Akane and
Nabiki already approaching the front gates.

He waved at them, happy to see that he'd made
it just in time. Jumping down to join the Tendo girls
Ranma clasped both their hands in his own in relief.

"Man, you two have no idea how happy I am to see you."

"What do you think you're doing?!"

Akane wasn't the only to react to this strange twist of events,
several dozen angry male voices yelled from the school yard
as they witnessed this undreamed of sacrilege.

"Huh?"

Ranma looked to see a weird sight, it looked like every boy
attending Furinkan was dressed up in sports equipment or
martial arts outfits and gathered in front of the main school building.

One of them, dressed in an *ice* hocky
uniform gasped in shaky disbelief.

"He's...He's...HE'S TOUCHING AKANE'S HAND!!!"

Cries of outrage sprung up from all around at that observation
as if they couldn't see that perfectly well for themselves.

The group seemed to come to a consensus after some dark muttering.

"Let's get him!!!"

The horde of beserk hormonally driven jocks
charged toward the new student, intent on turning
the infidel who had dared defile the skin of their pure
goddess Akane into a stain on the concrete.

{You have GOT to be kidding me.}

A large sweatdrop formed on the back of
Ranma's head as he saw the angry mob heading
toward him.

{Now the fun begins.}

Nabiki smirked, this was sure to discourage any chance
of anything forming between her younger sister and
their potential fiancee.

~~~~~~~~~
-Saotome Residence (Abandon All Hope, Ye who enter here...)

"So when will we meet Ranma, Aunty Nodoka?"

"Chi! You and Azusa didn't have to tag along!"

It wasn't fair! How was she supposed to be able to
spend any quality time with fiancee and get to know him
better when her manager and apprentice in training would be
watching over her shoulder every minute!?

"Very soon, once you've gone through the Anything Goes
Bridal Training we'll join my son and husband at the house of
an old family friend."

{Poor Soun, I do hope he's recovered from the loss of his wife.
My son's wedding shouldn't be disrupted by one of his crying sprees.}

"Wha?! Anything Goes BRIDAL TRAINING???

"Of course dear, when I'm done you will be the
perfect match for my manly son."

Something sent a cold shiver running down the
spines of the three girls. It might have been that
eerie confident tone, the twinking sparklies shooting
out from big eyes filled motherly love and pride, or
the battle aura of motherly pride that towered over them.

The sudden crackle of thunder and lightning in the
clear blue sky had absolutely nothing to do with it,
nor did the flock of frozen black ravens crashing down
into a nearby temple, and it couldn't possibly be due to
the fact that every chopstick in sight had just broken in half
for no conceivable reason at all.

Heh. Hehehe...yeah right.

The three girls almost made it out of the house
before the arms of well intended doom dragged
them back in to meet their fate...

"Wait!! I'm not the one getting married!!!"

The fine wooden door slammed shut with a solemn finality.

Black Queen takes White Pawn.

~~~~~~~~
-Furinkan High (Where Brains Are Not An Asset)

Ranma Saotome was being given a warm
welcome by the local athletes.

{Oh Fershlugger!}

While being attacked by an bloodthirsty mob was
not totally outside of his experience this was the first
time they were using bats and rackets instead of guns and
grenades. Japan was supposed to be a peaceful country
after all, had things really changed that much in ten years?

He'd have to follow that line of thought later, as for now...

[Tactical Mode Engaged.]

[Multiple hostile contacts detected.]

[Threat value: 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001
i.e. you're kidding right?]

[Options:

1. Attack -Unacceptable, Ethical conflict
2. Run -Unacceptable, Honor conflict
3. Nonlethal Neutralization -Unacceptable, 99.9% certainty
that hostilities will resume in 23.68 hours
4. Demonstration of Tactical Disadvantages Regarding
An Attack Against Self -Loss of dignity within acceptable parameters
Commencing with Style #37: Lee Kwan Choo
Initiating...]

Hopping back a bit to get some room to manuver
Ranma avoided no less then twelve different types of
sports balls, half a dozen training weights, and a javelin
that some wise guy from the track team had borrowed.
Not to mention all the punches, kicks and miscellaneous
attempts to cause great amounts of bodily harm to him.

It helped that every one of them fought like individuals instead of
as a team. That meant that their attacks often got tangled up as they
tried to attack from the same direction at the same time.

Akane watched this with a little shock.
The crowd that normally challenged her
each morning had gone right past her today.

Why weren't they attacking her?
They were attacking...HIM?!

Relief was the first thing she felt.
That lasted for only a moment before Anger hit.

HOW DARE HE INTERFERE WITH HER FIGHT!!!

She was a martial artist too! No boy was going to upstage her!!
Ooohhh...She hoped that he got creamed, that would teach him to
stop butting in!

In fact she was going to give him a piece of her mind right now!

Akane started stalking over to the genral melee going on, the slower
boys that had the misfortune to be in her way quickly learned of their
error before heading to La la land.

"Ran-!"

If Akane had been able to finish what she was about to say the entire
course of the story might have been different. But that was the
moment Ranma choose to make his move...

~~~~~~~~~

A lot can happen in fifteen seconds.

In that short span of time battles can be won or lost.

Within that brief fragment of time a decision can
be made that will have earth-shaking effects in the future.

In fifteen seconds a person's opinion of another can
be forever changed or set in stone for eternity.

~~~~~~

1...

The more observant ones closer to him spotted it first.
The new kid was starting to light up as a prismatic
glow enveloped him right before their eyes. Ranma's stance
now looked a lot like a large cat preparing to pounce.

...2...

Those with a lick of sense in their heads hesitated in their attack
and began to find that the idea of a strategic withdrawal had
considerable merit. The majority of the pack charged in heedless
of the consquences. Ranma's features hardened as a deadly gleam
appeared in his eyes.

...3...

Now the rest of the boys noticed, even the most hardened of them
were taken aback by the sheer force behind that chilling expression.
Some of the more superstitious found themselves remembering stories
of the boogie man and the many demons of Japanese legend.

Now more of the jocks were beginning to reconsider
this impulsive attack. But it was already too late.

"KIYA!!!"

The battle cry struck like a physical blow, stealing
away their confidence and weakening their muscles with
the first venomous drops of terror.

~~~~~~~
-Eyecatch 1

(Scene: Ranma is chasing a horde of monsters and
villains from various Anime and RPGs (Rifts, Slayers, BGC, SM, etc.).
They run from left to right and then offscreen for a moment. Then
Ranma comes running back from the right side with a look of pure
terror on his face. A moment later a *gigantic* mob of women with
Kasumi, Tsunami, Urd, Ayla, Shayla Shayla, Misato, and Jaina Solo
among them coming charging after him.)

-Eyecatch 2

(Ranma looks nervously to both sides, then breathes a sigh of
relief when he sees that he's alone. Then he spots a gourmet feast laid
out on a white picnic blanket. When he leans over and tries to grab some
of the tempting food the trap springs and a dust cloud briefly obscures the
screen. Sasami, Kasumi and Makoto(SM) step in and smile, Ranma is
revealed to be caught in a fish net hanging from a wooden rod behind them.)

~~~~~~~

....15

Furinkan's finest athletes were frozen in place by a combination
of terror and disbelief. Growing dark stains on both ends of their
pants along with a foul odor that started to fill the air
were clear evidence of the effectiveness of Ranma's
attack. The entire student body (minus one) was stunned by
it, even Akane had to admit that she wasn't good enough to
pull something like that off.

~~~~~~

"Damn..."

Shadow let out a soft whistle of admiration.

"I don't believe it! He's not supposed to have
a horror factor unless he's transformed!!!"

Zora dumped a bucket of ice water to end the
Guardian's ravings quickly.

The screams of outrage were another story.

~~~~~~~~~
-You Blinked

{How'd he do that?!}

Akane wondered, if she
could learn a trick like that...

Casually the pigtailed martial artist relaxed from
his ready state and dusted off a few wood and
metal splinters from his hands.

"That's the only warning you get gents. I strongly suggest that you
leave both me and the Tendos alone or you won't be so fortunate
next time."

Seeing that the gentlemen in question were incapable of coherent
thought at the moment Ranma started to head toward the school building.

Akane blinked as he walked past her then went after him.
She reached out to grab him by the arm, as her
hand encountered a solid array of muscle a small shiver
that wasn't at all unpleasant in the least ran through the rest
of her body and sparked a few embers in her lower abdomen.

"Wait a second Ranma!"

"Who dares approach the fierce tigeress of my heart?"

Tatewaki Kuno's rehearsed speech was forgotten as he beheld
this affrontery to his refined senses. So immersed in his fantasies
that he'd missed the fireworks earlier, the would be samurai
had strode out just in time to see his beloved Akane grab some
strange boy's arm!

{Unforgivable!!!}

~~~~~~~
-There Are Idiots Among Us

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

{There's always one more to deal with.
The Universe never cuts me a break!}

What was next, giant singing fuzzy
purple dinosaurs doing the Macarena? (1)

"Who are you Cur?" Not waiting for a reply Kuno ranted on.

"Ah! But it is the custom to give one's OWN name first!"

{Is he for real?}

"Fine then! MINE I shall GIVE!"

The rumble of the approaching storm grew louder.

{This is ridiculous. I came back home to escape
from the craziness, NOT make it worse!}

Ranma heaved a disgusted sigh as he looked up at the
darkening heavens. It was going to rain any minute now
and he wanted to get inside his class, not deal with this blowhard.

"My name is Upperclassman Kuno. I am captain of Furinkan Kendo club and
the undefeated rising star of the high school fencing world. But my peers
call me..."

{A loudmouthed idiot with more pride then sense by any chance?}

"The BLUE THUNDER of Furinkan!"

*KRAKKA**BOOM*

A perfectly timed bolt of blue lightning ripped across the sky.

{What a show off...}

Several students watching the unfolding spectacle from
the second story of the school building looked slightly puzzled
by that last statement. Among them was Nabiki.

"Blue Thunder?"

"Have you heard about that Nabiki?"

"News to me, last I heard he was calling
himself the Shooting Star or some such junk."

The entire student body looked upon the poor doomed fool
who had attracted the attention of the school's best fighter.
Even though he'd just beaten the rest of the male population,
Kuno was in another class altogether. It was rumored that he
might even be better then Akane! So everyone watched and
whispered conversations sprang up among them. Those that
were still conscious that is. Which meant that the crowd was
composed mostly of girls. Lonely girls who hadn't been able to
get a date for weeks since Kuno's stupid declaration
had sent practically every eligible boy in school after Akane Tendo.

"Oh no! Kuno's going to kill our one chance for happiness!!"

"Maybe he'll just break a few bones and be content with that?"

"Shhh...look! Something's happening!"

Having decided there was no other viable way out of this Ranma
decided to just go along with this little farce until an opening
appeared.

"I'm Ranma Sao-"

Trying to stop this Akane blurted out the first thing
that came to mind without bothering to think of the
consequences.

"He's just staying with us, Kuno!"

{Oh swell, that really helped.....}

"What?!"

Kuno's shock was nothing compared to the student body's reaction.

"WHAT?!"

Told ya.

An ugly red glow formed around the slightly shaking
son of the noble house of Kuno.

"Under the SAME roof as AKANE?!! I FORBID IT!!!"

The Insane Strike of Righteous Justice (patent pending)
came slashing down. Kuno might as well have sent his opponent
a formal letter announcing his every movement, he telegraphed his
attacks like a professional wrestler.

Ranma merely hopped backwards, then continued on from his
new spot several yards away from the angered kendoist.

"As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me..."

{Foul low bred dog! You dare insult the noble House of KUNO!?}

Tatewaki growled like a feral animal at this base attack
to his noble samurai heritage. At this point he wasn't about
to settle for anything less then this peasant's head mounted
on a pike.

"I'm Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts.
And to be completely honest, you don't impress me one bit."

After that statement was heard the betting tripled.
Nabiki found herself hard pressed to keep up, even she
was astounded by Saotome's guts to say something like that!

But could Ranma back up his bold words?

It looked like they were about to find out.

~~~~~~~
-Somewhere not revealed yet

"Is something wrong old friend?"

The figure's features were lost within the grand hall
that stretched as far as the eye could see as he gestured
toward the exquisitely crafted platinum board between the
two players.

"You've yet to make a move, in all the millenia I've
known you I've never seen you play so poorly before."

The setup of the game in progress revealed that
Black was swiftly gaining control of the board despite
the solid defense of White. Currently it was White's turn
to move. There were few options left, no matter which
direction a move was made one of the important pieces
would be lost. A closer inspection revealed that the pieces
were in fact miniature representations of various beings and
creatures from from across the Multiverse. Even more telling
was the fact that Ranma represented the Knight for White.

The figure expected no response, he'd learned long ago
that there was a reason for everything it did, the trick
was finding out and more importantly, understanding why.

Their friendship was an unusual one even by his standards.
Both of them possessed ancient secrets and long lost
knowledge that mortals would kill for, their seperate existances
had been recorded at the dawn of the written word and spanned
far before that through half remembered legends passed down through
near ritualistic oral tradition. Unique and alone, scholar and meddler,
yet who both found a common enjoyment in a simple friendly game. For
a brief drop in the sea of time their responsibilities were set aside
for the only true peace they had.

But now...

The change in his friend's choice of pieces had not gone unnoticed.
He was worried, it seemed as if the other was playing an entirely
different game this time rather then the one between them....

[The Circle must be completed once more.]

Shock held him in its grip. For the first
time in living memory his friend had spoken to him!

Ranma's armored form moved across the board
to quietly knock over one of the opposing Black
pieces.

Knight takes Rook

(To be continued...Hehehehehehe...)

*$*$*$*$*

(1) I'm a fanfic writer, not a sadist!