I'm sorry it took so long, but school was annoying this week. Well, it's annoying every week. Anyway, here you go--8th chappie, and I'm hoping to get more reviews, at least 6 please. :D


Chapter 8: Different Versions

RING RING

At almost exactly 6:26am the phone rang, its shrill tone cutting through the silence of Sakura's house, but by this time she'd gotten used to waking up early in the morning. Syaoran's calls—they came almost everyday, since he was probably the most forgetful/irresponsible person she'd ever met—took the place of her alarm clock.

She reached for the phone and tucked it under her left ear, trying to hold up her math book for some last-minute cramming. "What do you want?"

"…Hey."

She sensed the hesitation in his voice and got annoyed. There. See, he started it. Yesterday I decided we'd pretend it never happened, and I even began the conversation like nothing ever happened, and then he goes and ruins the whole nothing-happened thing.

"You're supposed to say, 'I need help with number 25', but I guess that's good enough," she said evenly. She was giving him a hint, telling him that they didn't need to talk about the almost-kiss just yet. That is, even if she was extremely, uncontrollably, uncompromisingly mad at him for making it an almost-kiss.

It would have been perfect. Atmosphere? Check. Drama? Check. Mutual Attraction? Check. And hadn't he ever watched that movie, where he was supposed to close the last 10 of the kiss or something? (A/N: Have you watched "Hitch"?)

She'd had her eyes closed and the only way she knew he was moving was the rustling of his jacket. She'd heard it, all right, a quick rustle as he leaned… backward, stepping away. Then a breath caught painfully in his chest, a rushed turn—she'd opened her eyes just to see him running away without a backward glance.

And she'd felt… mad. Not sad.

He laughed. "Nope, I actually get it this time. Anyway, I just have to say, I'm going to be at an overnight camp thing, so I won't get to go to practice later."

If she was listening hard she would have noticed how his voice was clipped and falsely cheerful, but she was too shocked to care just now. "W-wha? Overnight camp?"

"Mm-hmm!" He sounded relieved. He's running, again. "I signed up for another extracurricular thing and we're going to go help out some poor people build their houses."

She laughed a little. "That's so not like you…"

Inside she started to worry. The last time she'd gone to practice without Syaoran, Ami and the others had all laughed at her. Now that Ami was gone, were they still making fun of her behind her back?

"Yeah, I know, but all this stuff's good for college people. Hey, don't worry. Tomoyo and Meiling will go to practice with you."

He'd known what she was thinking. Sakura smiled.

"Okay, whatever. Just make sure you don't turn into a complete teacher's pet."

"Sure, with a C in biology? See you, Sakura."

Her voice softened. "See you…"

He paused and she heard him breathing, waiting for… something. But then he put down the phone and that was that. Sakura nodded to no one and went on getting ready for school.

-------------------

Luckily, Syaoran tried hard to make things go back to normal between them. Sakura didn't feel uncomfortable at all, except when he made a random joke about a girlfriend and boyfriend. The day seemed short—maybe because he was leaving in the afternoon and she wouldn't get to walk home with him.

It's good, actually, she thought to herself. If we went along to the gate again we'd… remember.

At dismissal time Sakura watched Syaoran and the rest of the campers pick up their duffel bags and start collecting in front of one of the school buses. She felt like going over there to say goodbye, but it would be uncomfortable with everyone there, and she'd look like his girlfriend or something. Sighing a little, she turned to go to the auditorium as usual, where Meiling and Tomoyo would meet her.

"Sakura-chan!"

She recognized his voice, of course. Sakura turned, grinning in spite of herself, and put her hands on her hips.

"Back so soon? I didn't think you'd miss me so much to go camping for just thirty seconds," she called as he ran up.

Syaoran rolled his eyes and grinned at her. "Goodbye to you, too," he said, smiling openly.

"Bye. What time are you guys getting back together?"

"Oh, just in time for practice." They stood for a while, a little awkward. Sakura knew if it were Tomoyo or Meiling he'd have no problem giving them a big friendly hug, but things were too tense with Sakura for him to try that now.

Finally she stuck out her hand with a smile.

He grinned back, took her hand out of his pocket, and shook hers. Just before he turned to leave she felt something crinkly in her palm, and looked down to see he'd slipped a note into it when he shook her hand.

"Bye! Bye!" the campers called, making funny faces at the other students from the bus windows as it drove away. Sakura stood in the middle of the road. This was the second time she'd have to watch him go.

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Being perfectly sane, with a perfectly normal memory, Sakura did remember exactly what had happened by the street that afternoon. But right now, sitting backstage fingering a broken rocking-horse prop, her own thoughts overwhelmed her. She saw the garden gate in different versions, each time different, and she watched them all over and over again in her mental cinema just to torture herself.

It only confused her more, of course. That was the thing with being in love. Your heart twisted things up so you couldn't see the truth if it walked up and spit in your face.

Let's see, Sakura thought, as if she were thinking about a completely different person's life story. There are five afternoons. Which one was true?

"Sakura?"

Two voices said her name at once, and their owners stopped suddenly, staring at each other across the shadowy prop room. Sakura looked up to see Eriol and Tomoyo, but they'd forgotten she was there. Tomoyo's face suddenly crumpled.

Eriol stepped forward. "Tomoyo—"

Tomoyo looked away. Sakura watched.

Eriol stopped and turned abruptly, calling out someone's name. Tomoyo exhaled shakily and smiled at Sakura.

Even her smile is sad.

She didn't say a word about that prop room ever again. It was better to stay away from painful conversations.

Of course, painful thoughts could never be stopped.

VERSION 1

She waited for the kiss.

Of course, when you were waiting for someone to kiss you, it was a little rude to open your eyes and check to see if he was still going to do it. But she had to. He was just taking too long.

In the end, it was a good thing she had.

While she'd been standing there, fingers tightly gripping the gate, face turned up slightly with her eyes gently closed, he'd already leaned away, his eyes on the ground. Sakura stared at him, but…

…but he seemed to have changed his mind.

She was about to forget it, close her eyes and wait again as if she'd just caught him at a bad time, but then he looked up, straight at her. And she saw what he was thinking, as clear as day.

I can't.

Sakura watched, dumbfounded, as he turned and started up the road back home. With him went all the colorless dreams that had only been painted in now, all the little hints that had set her heart racing and her mind in denial. It just wasn't right.

She clenched her teeth.

"So that's it?"

He stopped walking. She glared fiercely at the back of his shirt.

"That's it? You're going to just pretend it never happened?"

She waited for him to hesitate and then turn around and apologize, maybe even creating another perfect moment, but that was the thing with perfect moments. They never happened twice.

Syaoran put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

Sakura watched him go, successfully holding back her tears. "I hate you."

VERSION 2

As she heard him come closer and closer, leaning down swiftly and softly just like in the movies, her body tensed. She remembered Mizuno-kun, how it had all happened so fast, how no one had expected it. And how she'd hated him, and herself, for it.

She remembered everything she'd done with Syaoran, and compared it to what girls usually did with the boys they liked. He'd been to her house, but he'd made a big mess and he'd passed out on her floor. He'd taken her to the mall, but only to buy some materials at the bookstore, where he humiliated both of them by playing a prank on the cashier clerk. He'd rescued her from Ami, but only because he was the assistant director and Eriol had told him to keep order in the auditorium in case the teachers got upset.

It was the farthest thing from romantic.

Sakura's heart beat wildly; she could actually feel him now because of how near he was.

She remembered hitting him on the shoulder with their hardcover history book for forgetting to return her homework after he'd borrowed it.

If this happened, she'd never be able to do it again without feeling awkward.

She remembered all the teasing they did, sort of a confidence booster for her now. The taunts never really hurt.

If this happened, she'd never be able to do it again without feeling awkward.

She remembered the both of them nearly passed out on the couch, the tops of their heads touching and their feet dangling over the armrests after a hard day's prop making.

If this happened, she'd never be able to do it again without feeling awkward.

Everything, everything would change.

Sakura's eyes flew open. His face was an inch away, and she stepped back from the gate, leaving him on the other side. She felt as if the world on her side was pulling her away.

"I…"

His eyes opened and he stared at her with hurt in them.

I can't!

I can't risk it!
I can't do it!
I can't think of it!

I can't…

Lightning-fast, his expression changed from hurt to angry. She almost gasped when he scowled at her.

He'd never been mad at her before.

"So that's it?"

She couldn't answer him.

"You're leaving it there?"

Sakura opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"I…"

I know.

Me too.

What was wrong with her voice? It was gone, lost with all the daydreams she'd secretly entertained. They'd had something to do with happy endings and holding hands.

He clamped his mouth shut and turned quickly, fists clenched at his sides. For a second he just stood there, breathing heavily. She knew this was her cue in their little drama. She was supposed to jump over the fence and into his arms, or something like that.

But Sakura had had enough acting.

She watched him go. He saw an empty can in the middle of his path and kicked it as far away as it could roll. Both of them looked away from it, as if that would make it disappear into some gutter forever.

VERSION 3

For a moment she felt like pulling away at the last second, just to be safe and stop everything from dissolving into the bright lights that he brought, but they always said you had to be brave when you were in love.

So her lips met his, and it was wonderful in the way that kisses are when you like the person who's kissing you…

…but.

He pulled away, eyes sparkling, and she saw how unbelievably happy he seemed to be…

…but she looked back at him with the beginnings of a smile on her face and realized that her worst fears had come true—everything was different now.

"I…"

"It's okay," he said quickly, and she felt her heart ache—he cared about her—because it seemed like she was the only one who realized things were different.

"But…"

There. His grin flickered and she looked down, afraid of what was coming next. She could have kept quiet, she could have let everything go on with that awkwardness (because he didn't mind that anyway), but Sakura had always been honest.

"What now, Syaoran?"

He blinked. He still didn't understand. But she knew—because she'd blinked and she'd seen him as something else, different from the Li who poked around in her fridge without asking and called her up at the wildest times to ask about homework. Things like kisses couldn't happen, not between partners-in-crime-ready-to-kill-each-other best friends like them.

"What now…" he repeated, the words starting to sink in. Would they get together? Would they hold hands in the corridors and automatically be coupled for school dances?

"..I…"

I've ruined it. She took a step toward him but he was looking to the side, obviously distracted now by what she'd mentioned. I've ruined it, he was so happy!

Still, she knew she couldn't have gone through the rest of her life pretending that things were the same, because after this, she'd either want all of him or none of him. And desires like that weren't made for best friends like them.

"I… don't know," he said simply, looking back at her with eyes full of fear.

VERSION 4

She turned away just as he did, and that made her turn back to stare at him. Both of their faces registered shock, and then slight relief. You were going to give up on this, too?

But they still had to keep talking. Sakura's body was half-turned to her home, half-turned to him and his half-turned body. He put his hands in his pockets, and she slowly raised her left hand to chew on a thumbnail.

"I'm sorry."

He said it first, and she would have thrown herself into the sea for him for saying it.

"I'm sorry, too," she said, barely unable to keep herself from crying it out. Immediately his face softened into a relieved, happy smile, and she knew hers did too.

"Oh, Sakura," he whispered, his hands drifting to the gate latch. They stopped with his fingers resting on the bolt.

She looked down at it, hesitating, knowing this meant the world. Then she looked up, meeting his eyes, and the last of her fear evaporated.

Syaoran slid open the latch and took a step forward, and then his arms were around her. Sakura felt herself lean on him for support, closing her eyes and exhaling a deep, shuddering breath. She felt him do the same, one hand on the back of her head and the other around her waist.

They stood that way for a few moments—holding each other up—surprised by how well they fit together.

She could never, ever get tired of it. She felt safe, untouchable, as if she was laughing at the rest of the world from outside the fishbowl. And what she loved most was his breathing, how his chest rose up and down, slow, smooth, regular.

It could have been two minutes or two years, but eventually he slowly drew back, hands resting lightly on her hips. She played with bits of his sleeves, rubbing them between her fingers.

His eyes, unreadable, stared straight into hers, as if they were searching for something there. Her eyes strained to see in his what he was looking for in hers.

"What now?" she finally said. They couldn't break eye contact.

"Hmm, you didn't read the script," he joked, and she smiled shyly, knowing what was coming next.

Syaoran leaned down and touched his lips to hers. Her eyes were still open and she closed them, her hands coming up and her fingers lacing together at the back of his neck. He kissed her slowly and softly and then drew back and lifted her in the air by her waist as if they were in some ballet. Sakura landed on her toes and he kissed her again, just a short one, before smiling, happier than she'd ever seen him before. It was all bright and beautiful and sweet.

Too bad it never happened.

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Four versions, all of them different. Some were good, some were bad.

But all of them were very, very far from the truth.

…Which was?

Sakura got up and squared her shoulders, pushing back the curtain and stepping out onto the stage to get ready for her part. She went through the scene absentmindedly, still thinking of the sad and boring and stupid truth.

Oh, I almost forgot.

She put her hand in her pocket and took out the crumpled-up note, bracing herself before reading it because there was a chance it was something dramatic and sweet that would make her break down in tears. And part of her wanted it to be.

But all it said was, Please copy Biology notes for me.

VERSION 5

A boy and a girl stood at a garden gate. The girl was on one side and the boy was on the other. Both had just argued fiercely with each other, though usually they were best friends.

The argue faded out in the way fights usually do. In its place came an uncomfortable and unfamiliar silence, almost drawing the boy and girl together, 'just like in the movies'.

But this was the truth, remember? It wasn't a movie.

As suddenly as he'd stepped closer to her, the boy jerked back from the girl, giving her one last look and then running back to his home, away from confusing uncomfortable unfamiliar silences.

And the girl stood, watching him run away and thinking that this time he'd chosen to go.


yawn Yeah, nothing really did happen, but in my opinion version 4's the best, so yeah. The next chapter is going to be good--it's all about NEWS. NEWS, hmm, what could it be about:P

REVIEW! PLEASE!