Chapter 10: The Problem With Budgets
"What do you mean, you're going to California!"
He sounded so angry, and all she could do was bite her lip and try her best not to cry today. It was a good thing he didn't know that she'd been hiding this secret for almost a week now.
"What, are you moving!"
There. A question she could answer. "No! God, no," Sakura said. "I'm going to be a sit-in student at this combined highschool-college place for two months, and then I'll come home and decide if I want to stay."
Syaoran looked as if she'd grown two heads. "If you want to stay—" He shrugged exaggeratedly. "Oh, yeah, perfectly normal to go to California for a few months during your very last year of high school and miss all the end-of-year fun, just so you can go there again for college!" This was getting a little too hard to talk about, Sakura thought. Syaoran looked almost hysterical. "Well, why can't you just go to the States next year like everyone else is doing for university!"
"Because…" She tried to look strong. "Because my dad wants me to make sure I like the place before he gets reassigned there and has to move us."
It was like she'd thrown the moon over and expected him to catch it. Syaoran goggled at her. His next word came out in a whisper.
"…Move!"
Sakura turned to face him and waved her hands. "No, no, don't get worried yet, I still have to decide if I really want to. And I can still say no, and we'll go on living just the way we are now." But there was something else that tugged at her to say yes to her dad, and Syaoran knew it.
"On the other hand, if I go, and they get this new job…" She tried to smile, a little. "Dad and Touya will be home much more. Almost every day. And they'll even have Sundays off, so we can actually go out together."
Syaoran put a hand on her shoulder and shook her, gently. "Sakura, listen. Why would you do this for your dad, who's never been there for you these past years!"
She wished he didn't know her so well.
"What, now he can just tell you to pack up and leave everything behind because he wants your house to be nearer to his business offices? You're not thinking!"
He stopped talking and she realized they'd stopped in the middle of the road, breathing heavily and looking anywhere but at each other. He's right, she was thinking.
But then she realized that Syaoran's parents had recently been working extra hard as well. He was living alone almost all days of the week. He knew how it was like. He had to understand.
The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. He couldn't just accuse her and her parents like that! He, of all people, should understand, should be there for her! He was supposed to be comforting her! This was all wrong and it wasn't her fault, it was his!
Sakura looked up at him, eyes blazing. "How dare you?"
This was going to be hard. She never argued with people like this; she was usually the one to step down before things got too messy. And here she was with her so-called best friend, fighting when all she wanted was a hug or something to make her feel better about leaving everything behind.
"How dare you insult me… insult my father? And I thought you, of all people, would understand!"
Now that she'd started, she couldn't stop.
"Do you know how hard it is for me to come home every day and see that no one's there to say hi?"
Syaoran shifted his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot.
"Do you know how hard it is to tell my dad and my brother everything is all right when they call, when nothing is?"
He opened his mouth to talk, but she continued on.
"I want this, Syaoran. I want this because it's a chance for my family to be together again." Didn't he even care? Didn't he even think of how much she was hurting? "I know they haven't been the greatest, but they want to start over, and so do I!"
She stopped and waited, but he seemed to have forgotten what he was going to say.
"You can imagine how much it hurts to have no one at home, don't you?" she whispered. His face was unreadable.
If he wants it this way, then fine.
"Okay, maybe you don't." She took a deep breath, but it came out as almost a sob. "Yeah, you don't. Because you're tough and all that, right? Because you don't care about anyone except yourself."
She turned, opened the garden gate to her house, and banged it shut behind her. "I'll see you at the musical."
He didn't call that night, or the morning after.
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"I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream…"
Sakura sang under her breath as she (finally) walked towards the auditorium for her performance. It was helping her calm down, because right now if a person walked up to her and said hi she would have screamed in his face and kept screaming.
This is too much. This is too much! This is too much, I'm going to die, I'm going to mess up and forget what to say and everything is screwed because they had to pick ME, why ME, I'm not the outgoing drama type, I'm the type to write the script, or work on costumes, or do ANYTHING but go OUT on that stupid stage in front of 10 billion people to SING, oh my GOD I have to SING and oh my GOD I am the PRINCESS!
She tried not to let herself think because a burst of nonsensical nervousness usually overcame her when she did. Sakura told herself, simply and quickly: I am the princess Aurora in our school musical, and I am going to be fine. She didn't believe one bit of what she was telling herself, but the lie was sort of working.
"Sakura-chan! You ready?" Eriol was waiting for her, sitting on the stage with his feet dangling down like a little boy. For some reason today he was infuriatingly calm and cheerful, losing his temper only when one of the props people dropped a wet towel on his shirt.
"No," she said. Eriol laughed and put an arm around her shoulders, steering her backstage to where the characters were running around vocalizing, the props people were running around trying to pin extra accessories onto the vocalizing characters' costumes, and everyone else seemed to be running around doing their own things. Sakura was lost. She sat down in a corner and played with the embroidery on her skirt, looking up only to glare at someone who was going to try and pin rosebuds onto her hair.
Too much too noisy too many people and it's hot and stinky
"Hey, it's your birthday today, right?"
She looked up to see Ami. This was the first time they'd talked after the bullying but Ami seemed to want to forget it completely, seeing as Eriol had given her extra work for picking on cast members. Sakura shrugged.
"Yeah."
"How old…?"
"17."
"Happy Birthday."
"Thanks."
Ami went back to helping one of her friends, who was supposed to be one of the good fairies, and Sakura went back to staring into space. It was the first birthday greeting she'd received that day, other than her dad and Touya's early-morning text messages. Her cellphone had beeped at 6 in the morning, since their current timezone was ahead of hers and they'd wanted to greet their daughter/sister as soon as possible.
See, she wanted to tell Syaoran. They care about me.
But, come to think of it, she hadn't seen Syaoran yet today. Sakura tensed in her seat, her hands freezing on the fabric of her skirt. Where was he? Was he going to leave Eriol alone just because of their stupid fight? Was he going to come and act like nothing had happened? Or would he ignore her?
"Sakura, we're starting in 20 minutes. You need anything?"
"No thanks," she said without looking at the person.
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6 minutes later she was still sitting in the same chair, fiddling with the blue ribbon she was going to use to tie her hair, and then Syaoran stumbled into the room. He had two whole bulging duffel bags that left a trail of script pages, hairpins, prop additions, and other odds and ends all over the floor. Sakura pretended that she didn't see him.
"You idiot, you're an hour and a half late," Ami snapped at him. Syaoran would have shrugged (Sakura thought), but he had the bag straps weighing down his shoulders.
"It hasn't started yet anyway," he told her. He walked around the room giving things out to everyone and receiving nasty, why-didn't-you-bring-this-earlier looks in return. Then he stopped in front of Ami and tilted his head to one side.
"Hmm," he said. "Do I owe you anything?"
Ami shrugged. Syaoran dug around in his two bags and then fished out a mutilated paperback sci-fi. "Here. I think I borrowed this from you. If I didn't, it's my uncle's, so you can have it."
Ami tossed the book behind her in disgust, but he was already turning to Sakura. His eyes met hers squarely and held them, and she almost felt like they were communicating telepathically.
From what she could see, he did care, but everyone was too busy depending on him right now for him to do anything about it. He would do something later on, but for now, forget it, Sakura, please.
"I forgot to give this to you," he said, and pulled out a sheaf of History and Biology handouts.
Sakura managed a smile and shook her head. "It's okay. I made copies."
"Oh." He put them back into his bag, smiling too. "Okay." For a moment they kept smiling at each other, each wondering whether the other would say something—which would mean they were still friends and nothing was changed. Five whole seconds passed. Then—
"Syaoran!"
Eriol came in and grabbed Syaoran's shoulders, shaking him until his hair was messed up. Sakura stared. Just a few seconds ago the director had been calm, cool, and composed. Now, with Syaoran here, he was the exact opposite.
"Syaoran! You idiot! You are late! LATE! I told you to be here two, no, three hours ago! You were supposed to help! You brought all the stuff but it's too late to use it! You're so stupid—" He shook him hard, "Stupid—stupid!"
"Um, hey, calm down," Ami said nervously. Eriol turned on her, and Syaoran stepped carefully away as they argued.
"Any idea why he's so uptight now?" Sakura asked.
"Uptight? Isn't he always?" Syaoran grinned back.
"No," Sakura said. "He was perfectly fine just a few minutes ago, so what's wrong with him now? It's like you're making him nervous," she said. Syaoran laughed.
And so, for awhile, Sakura let herself be distracted and forgot about their fight the other day. But sooner or later it had to come out, and sooner or later he'd have to apologize, so she decided sooner was better than later.
"Hey." Her voice dropped to seriousness. "Syaoran. Um… about yesterday…"
"It's okay, Sakura," he said, smiling a true smile at last. "I know you were mad and scared, and I'm not mad or anything, so…"
She stared at him incredulously. "You think I'm apologizing!"
His smile faded. "Um…"
Uh oh. Might as well tell him what I really think.
"Syaoran," she said slowly and carefully. "I think you should be the one apologizing."
That hit a nerve. "What!" he said. "You're the one who screamed at me, told me off! I was just telling the truth—" He seemed to realize that this was definitely not helping things, and stopped in mid-sentence. "Okay. Okay. Listen, please, let's just forget about it, okay?"
Sakura was already shaking her head. "No. No, I can't forget about it, because it's happening," she said. "I have to leave in a few days and I'm fighting with my best friend?"
"Well don't blame me or anything! I don't have any business interfering with your life, you made that perfectly clear, so I won't." He sighed and then hesitated before continuing. "I just want… you to be happy."
Sakura looked up, surprised, but then Eriol was calling them all to stand in a circle and listen to him. Everyone shut up.
"Girls and boys," he said loudly, waving his hands in the air. "This is it. Tonight we will show the world what we've been working on in here, and we have to be prepared to take whatever they say."
Murmurs of approval ran through the crowd of students. He continued. "All I ask is that right now, in these scant moments before our presentation—" Sakura almost laughed at his choice of words, "You people remember that we made this not for ourselves, but for them." He looked very serious. "We didn't come down here every week because we wanted to spend the day getting bossed around by present company, we came down here because we wanted to put on a show and we wanted it to be good."
He stopped, looking around. Then, just before the emcee outside onstage announced '…Our High School's Rendition of… Sleeping Beauty!', Eriol smiled.
"So let's make it good. Okay?"
"Okay!" They all shouted, laughing a little at his speech, and then everyone for the first scene filed out of the room.
"The problem with budgets is that most of the time you are on a tight budget because you don't have money, and you would have a fundraiser but then you don't have time. And you would go look for bargains, but you don't have time," Eriol used to tell Sakura.
"So usually, you have a budget and you have very little time, and things just get messed up."
The opening scene started out fine, but towards the end of that scene disaster struck. All of the visiting 'nobles' in the scene had to wear petticoats and makeshift hoopskirts, which were basically made of small hula hoops stitched to the insides of skirt hems. There was no other way to get the effect they wanted.
Sakura was watching from the wings when the 'nobles' started walking out in a group that was supposed to look like they were casually chatting and admiring the baby. Instead, they were talking. Urgently.
"Hurry up, idiot, I have to go pee."
"It's these stupid skirts, I can't do anything in them!"
"Why not?"
"I have to walk with small steps. All of the girls do. Otherwise we'd step on the hoops and roll offstage."
"Hula hoops inside! Who came up with that? Why couldn't everyone just buy normal costume-party hoopskirts?"
"Budget."
As they were saying this, one girl in the very back of the group lifted her foot to step over an extension cable, and brought it down on the skirt hoop of the person in front of her, who tripped and sent everyone sprawling onto the stage floor. This brought up a few giggles from the audience.
"Oh my God," Sakura said, laughing a little. "I hope I don't do anything like that, stupid budget—Syaoran?" For a moment she'd forgotten that they were fighting, but he hadn't. She saw him in the wings on the other side of the stage, right across from her but pretending they didn't know each other.
Fine, if he wants it that way…!
As it turned out, the budget was a big problem. The rhinestones started falling off the Prince's crown, the papier-mâché dragon finally did fall apart (Mizuno-kun simply pretended he'd done the killing blow), and the auditorium spotlights stopped working so they had to just turn on the overhead stage light. It gave the last scene a dimly lit, romantic look, though, so Eriol didn't have to get any more nervous.
Sakura was getting ready to go onstage for the final scene when Eriol turned to Mizuno-kun and scared him with a male version of a scream. "You've got green paint on your face!"
"What!" Mizuno touched his forehead and his hand came away with paint. "Crap, it's from the dragon! I helped them carry it off the stage and I guess my face got marked up!"
"Well, you have to wash it off," Sakura said practically, pointing to the small dressing room bathroom. "Over there."
Eriol shook his head. "No, there's no water in that bathroom. The plumbing broke yesterday and the school decided not to have it fixed until next year."
"Why!"
"Budget."
Mizuno made a strangled noise in his throat and turned to run down the stairs and to the main auditorium bathroom. Sakura watched nervously, listening to the narrator and keeping an eye on the stage, as he ran down three steps and then jumped the last two. His Prince-cape billowed upward.
Then suddenly someone was at the bottom of the stairs. Mizuno let out a small cry and Sakura saw him twist as he jumped, but his feet slipped and suddenly he was falling. He hit the ground hard, his wrist banged against the bottom step, and they heard a loud, sharp crack.
Sakura and Eriol looked at each other and ran down the stairs.
"Mizuno! Mizuno-kun! Are you okay!" Sakura was about to shake him but Eriol stopped her and pointed soundlessly to the elbow that was spread out from under his body. Sakura gasped. At least an inch of white bone popped out of the elbow's skin.
"Guys? What the hell? Sakura's on in like, 20 seconds!" Ami came down the stairs and then stopped to bend over Mizuno. She took one look at the elbow and turned to throw up. Sakura wasn't feeling too good herself.
"Sakura," Eriol said slowly, "Get onstage."
"But what are we going to do about—"
"Just get onstage." He didn't turn to look at her, but he was shaking a little. Sakura decided she had to do what he asked.
"Ami?"
"Yeah?" The other girl looked up at her, face pale.
"Get help." Sakura turned, ran up the stairs, and flung herself onto the bed in the tower scene just as the lights slowly faded on.
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Meanwhile, Syaoran had seen the whole thing from the other side of the stage. He quickly jumped down and reached Mizuno-kun just as Sakura left to play her part. Eriol was squatting beside the other boy, rocking back and forth as Ami dialed 9-1-1.
Syaoran gave a low whistle. "What happened to him?"
Eriol looked up at him so suddenly that he stepped back. "Syaoran! Syaoran. I need you to do something for me."
"Sure thing," he said, keeping his eyes on that elbow as if he was expecting it to grow tentacles.
"I need you to take this cape—" In his hands he held the Prince-cape Mizuno had been using, and then Syaoran knew what he was asking.
Syaoran looked at Mizuno. The boy groaned almost inhumanly.
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"As the brave Prince conquered Maleficent, sending evil scurrying back into its dark corners, the Princess waited in the highest room of the tallest tower for the kiss of true love that would wake her…"
Sakura kept her hands locked on top of her stomach and tried not to fidget, squeezing her eyes shut. She looked calm and peaceful, but inside her stomach was tying itself into knots.
What're we going to do about it? Who what when how WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!
"…And so the Prince climbed, and opened the door to see his heart's desire…"
She heard the stage door open and wondered what the hell was going on. Had they patched Mizuno up that easily?
"…But he…"
The narrator's voice blended on as she heard a rough male voice say, "Fair Aurora, I have come..! What? She sleeps? I am too late, then!" In her anxiety, she couldn't recognize it, and the boy was trying to sound like Mizuno.
Who…?
The boy knelt at her bed and put his head on his arms, doing the odd crying scene. Some snickers from the audience. Then she heard him stand and imagined Mizuno-kun with his creepy serial-killer face.
"Alas, I have failed. She is gone. Yet here she sleeps, unreachable by all…"
Who the hell…?
"…Let me steal one kiss from thee…"
Sakura sensed warmness above her. She was still.
"…my dear Aurora."
At last she couldn't take it anymore, and she decided to peek just as Syaoran closed his eyes, leaned down, and kissed her.
…it's…
Her eyes were open now and she caught a glimpse of brown hair.
Mizuno! NO! No—
Syaoran's eyes opened just for a second and they were brown, not white-blue, and then Sakura knew.
…Can't be…
They realized what exactly they were doing as the curtains started to swing shut. Sakura found one of her hands clutching his sleeve, and she felt the world around her blur into kaleidoscope color. He was kissing her softly, slowly, as if this was the last one he'd ever get, and she didn't know what to do, but he was so careful and so… sensual that it was perfect. Just perfect.
Then he pulled away abruptly and put a hand on her shoulder. "We'd better get ready for the curtain call," he whispered, helping her get up from the bed. Sakura nodded dazedly and followed him to the middle of the stage, where the rest of the cast lined up beside them.
Somewhere in the background she heard them say her name and Syaoran's, and she knew they stepped forward and took a bow and curtsy; but she definitely wasn't doing it, she was thinking, and thinking hard.
He kissed me.
He kissed me!
He was holding her hand for the curtain call, and then the curtains were drawing closed and then the audience was gone and the cast and everyone else backstage started to cheer loudly. Someone opened big bottles of Coke and Sprite and Eriol said something about a party, right on stage, but Syaoran took Sakura's other hand in his and turned to face her, and there was a circle of silence around them that made her feel warm inside.
"I'm going to miss you," he said, simply, and she smiled and there were tears in her eyes.
