Chapter 5
Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor
Chapter Five
Disclamer: Not mine, I own nothing. I'm not making any money
WARNING: Harsh Language, adult themes, sexual situations (i.e. smut), bad spelling and
grammar.
Author's Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and
sexual) and OOC actions (that's Out Of Character if you don't know). Also, this is my first smut-ish
fic. If you don't like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this!
Chapter Five Summary: Things get revealed at the reception... along with Harry and Hermione's
relationship.
"Harry, what's going on?" Hermione implored while tugging on Harry's arm as he stomped over to
the laughing duo of Remus and Tonks. "What did that old witch mean about a menu? And why are
those two laughing?"
"Because HE..." Harry hissed and pointed an accusing finger at Lupin, "is a Marauder!"
"He... he..." stammered Hermione while looking between Harry and Remus. "He pranked us?" she
asked of Harry. Before he could respond, she turned to Remus and asked, "You pranked us?"
"Guilty as charged," confessed Remus in-between peals of laughter.
"You... You lousy prat!" Hermione shouted, her face twisted with rage. "You nearly gave me a
heart attack!"
Harry was about to join Hermione in her tirade when he noticed her features soften. Her rage-filled
expression transformed into the same look she had at the beginning of every class they shared. The
look clearly showed her desire of learning something new.
"How did you do it?" pleaded Hermione.
"By discretely placing Confundus/ Charm/ on the two of you before we sat down," Remus stated,
finally controlling his laughter. Tonks, however, continued to laugh hysterically. In fact, Harry
thought that she appeared to be on the edge of soiling herself.
"Oh Merlin that was brilliant!" declared Tonks. "Seeing how much goo Harry had on his face
yesterday, you must squirt like a fountain Hermione!"
"Shut it, Tonks!" Hermione ordered and then turned her attention back to Remus. "But a
Confundus doesn't work that way-" Hermione began. Luckily for Harry's sake, she did not see him
silently nod affirmatively to Tonks' comment. Hermione did in fact, squirt like a fountain.
"That's why I applied Pilliwickle's Theory to the charm," informed Remus.
"That can't be right, either. Pilliwickle's Theory only relates to /Memory Charms/..." Hermione
began to argue, but trailed off as she suddenly got a look on her face as if she was doing complex
long division in her head. After a moment, she announced her understanding with a simple, "Oh,
yes, that could work."
Harry picked up Hermione's dropped anger, "You still nearly gave us heart attacks!" He was still
mad at his former DADA professor for the prank. Harry was also a little mad because he had no
idea who Pilliwickle was nor any theory named for him so he felt left out of Hermione and Remus'
discussion which made him a touch bitter. "We thought everyone saw what we saw!"
"It was better than what Tonks had planned for you," Remus defended himself, and Tonks abruptly
stopped her riotous laughter. "She wanted to hook up a magical projector to a Pensieve and show
everyone here in attendance just what it was that she saw yesterday morning."
The two teens gasped at the mental image of a holographic rendition of themselves hovering over
the reception party; their naked bodies intertwined for everyone to see. Harry realized that if Tonks
had done just that, quite a large contingent of the wedding party would be shocked to say the least.
He reckoned that the motherly Mrs. Weasley would faint, Ginny would more than likely sob, and
Ron's face would become red with rage. However, Harry imagined that Fred and George's reaction
would be more along the lines of "Nice form mate," and "Didn't you get a crick in you neck doing
that?" Both Harry and Hermione turned their attention to Tonks. The eternally pink-haired Auror
recoiled at the visible anger in the two teens' eyes.
Harry and Hermione's verbal assault on Tonks for her loathsome plan was prematurely aborted
when a lanky red-head wizard stepped in Harry's way and blithely said, "Hi, Harry!"
Ron, after greeting Harry, turned his attention to Hermione. Ron's face got very red and a hopeful
glint shined in his eyes. "Hello there, Hermione," he greeted in what he assumed to be a seductive
manner. Harry thought it would've been more seductive if Ron hadn't stammered and even more so
if his voice didn't hitch and crack slightly.
Behind him, Harry could hear Hermione make a small "eep" noise out of panic. The bespectacled
wizard forgot his anger toward Remus and Tonks as he looked at his two best friends. Ron, his best
mate, was obviously very happy, for he was literally hopping in place as he looked at the brunette
witch. Hermione, however, looked like she was on the verge of a stroke-inducing panic attack.
Harry remembered that Hermione wanted to be the one who told Ron about their newfound
relationship, and that she said that she had an intricate plan on exactly what to say and how to tell
him. She probably had even gone as far as to draw diagrams in her daily planner. But the look in
Hermione's eyes told Harry that not only did she forget what she had planned to tell Ron, but that
she was about four steps beyond nervous, well into terror territory.
Hermione looked between Harry and Ron nervously, once, then twice, but on the third nervous
glance, she spotted something in the distance. Harry followed her eyes to a small, furry, purple
creature, sitting on a low wall near the house. It took Harry a moment to recognize it as Arnold,
Ginny's pet Pygmy Puff. Hermione tore her eyes away from Arnold to stare at Ron. A very long
and silent moment later, Hermione looked back at Arnold and with a hint of panic in her voice,
announced, "Oooh, look a tribble!" She then promptly scurried away like a frightened mouse
toward Arnold, leaving Harry alone with Ron.
"What's a tribble?" asked Ron, who looked a little perplexed but was still hopping in place like an
idiot.
"It's a Muggle thing," Harry answered simply as he saw Hermione pet, in an almost frantic way,
the brightly colored creature.
"Whatever. Anyway, you owe me, mate," Ron declared as he playfully thumped Harry on the
shoulder. Although the thump was less "playful" and more "painful"; apparently among many
things in his life, Ron didn't know his own strength.
"Owe you for what?" Harry asked as he rubbed his soon to be bruised shoulder.
"You owe me for interrupting a perfect moment," began Ron. "When you Owled Hermione the
other day asking her for help, I was about to 'dodge the second bludger,' if you know what I mean,"
Ron concluded this statement with a saucy wink. At that moment in time, Harry realized that he
woe him the "saucy smile."
"No," Harry answered trying not to shudder at the inappropriate wink, "I don't know what you
mean. Not in the slightest."
"You know..." Ron said impishly and made a rather rude hand gesture as if he was cupping a
breast, either that or kneading dough - Harry wasn't too certain.
"Oh," Harry replied. He was stunned. He and Ron never spoke before about things like fondling
boobs, especially Hermione's boobs. Ron, being Ron and not noticing Harry's stunned expression,
walked over to the table where Tonks and Remus were at and sat down in Hermione's vacant seat.
As Ron picked up the purple pamphlet, he gestured for Harry to sit next to him.
"Beef stew, blood pudding, grilled heron, and spotted dick," Ron stated clearly to the menu. After
four plates with copious amounts of food piled on them appeared in front of Ron, he handed the
pamphlet to Harry. "Eat up, Harry."
Harry looked at the pamphlet once more. Unfortunately all he could see was the same practical
joke that Remus had engineered. His eyes involuntarily focused on the phrase: "...Ms. Granger is
inclined to get very wet ..."
"Ugh, I don't care much for the heron at all," Ron said as he pushed one of the plates away from
him. "But I heard the trout's supposed to be pretty good."
"Oh, I know Harry likes red snatch-er, whoops slip of the tongue," Tonks said with far too much
emphasis on "snatch" and "tongue" and still had that damned devilish look in her eyes. "I meant to
say 'red snapper'."
Harry groaned pitifully at Tonks' crude behavior and Remus deftly changed subjects before Ron
caught on. Of course, knowing Ron, the only way the red-haired wizard would catch on is if Harry
explained Tonks' statement by saying "Tonks caught me eating out your girlfriend." He tends to be
a bit slow you see.
"So Ron, what have you been doing with your holiday?" the not-so-former-Maurarder-because-
he's-still-pranking asked
"There's not much to say," Ron responded, "except for me and Hermione getting together."
"What?" Remus and Tonks blurted in unison. They looked at Harry questioningly. Apparently,
they didn't know that Hermione and Ron had started dating around Dumbledore's funeral (which,
Harry thought unflatteringly, as everyone knows, is a great place to pick up birds). Nor did they
know that Hermione soon realized that she and Ron had absolutely nothing in common, whereas
she and Harry had a great deal in common. With a simple shrug of his shoulders, Harry tried to tell
them this all, and more importantly to Harry, just how perfect and special Hermione made him feel.
"Yeah," replied Ron to the two so-called adults' query, oblivious to Harry's non-verbal interchange
with Remus and Tonks. "We were getting to know each other in a '/more than friends/' way, if you
know what I mean. But then Harry had to ruin the moment because he needed Hermione for
something."
"Oh," Tonks said aloud, as if it all made sense to her now. Which of course, judging by the
confused look she had on her face, it didn't.
"Excuse me, everyone," Charlie announce from the head table, inadvertently putting an end to
Ron's awkward conversation. "It is my privilege as Best Man to introduce to you Mr. and Mrs.
William Weasley!" The guests all clapped and cheered as Bill and Fleur walked onto the dance
floor. "Let's watch the happy couple as they take their first dance as man and wife!"
Screeching music started to play, although Harry wasn't able to determine
where it came from. The Bride and Groom began to waltz elegantly around the dance floor.
"I can't wait to dance with Hermione," Ron declared while scanning the crowd, trying to find the
witch in question.
"Don't you know you have to dance with Ginny first?" Remus asked, attempting to diffuse the
increasingly tense situation.
"Dance with my sister?" Ron retorted scathingly. "We're not Welsh!"
Remus sighed dejectedly before continuing: "The first dance is for the Bride and Groom. Everyone
joins the new couple for the second dance. However, the members of the Bridal Party have to
dance with their partners first."
"But who'll dance with Hermione while I-" Ron began to weakly argue his case to which Harry
responded a bit too quickly and too energetically:
"I'LL DO IT!" he shouted.
"Thanks Harry, I knew I could count on you." Ron said proudly as he, again, playfully thumped
Harry on the shoulder. "Well, I guess I'd better go find Ginny," Ron continued as he stood up. He
turned to Harry and pointed at the shorter wizard and threatened him in a mocking way, "Now,
don't you go and try to steal my girl now!"
"Okay, I won't..." Harry whimpered pathetically. Giving Harry the "thumbs up" signal, Ron turned
and went to find his sister.
Harry looked at Remus and Tonks who both still looked like they were in shock. With a weak
shrug towards Remus and Tonks, Harry left the table to find Hermione.
It didn't take Harry long to find her. He found Hermione by the low wall with Arnold, the Pygmy
Puff. She seemed to have her entire focus on Arnold and was still petting him; one could even
describe her motions as "pathological petting."
"Hey, you okay?" Harry cooed as he walked up to her.
"I'm so sorry, Harry," Hermione began, still petting the useless tribble-like creature. "I had it all
planned out: what to say to him and how I'd say it. But when I saw him, I completely froze up."
"S'okay, I know how that feels," said Harry. "Would you like for me to tell him?"
"No, I should be the one..." Hermione replied. "I'm just waiting for the proper time to do it. I don't
think it would be good to tell him here. Could you imagine the scene that he would cause?"
"Maybe we'll tell him tomorrow, then" suggested Harry, to which Hermione replied with a nod. In
the distance, Harry heard the song for the first dance end. "Would you care to dance?"
Hermione blushed slightly before responding: "I thought you'd never ask."
The two quietly made their way to the dance floor. Slow pleasant music filled the air (though to
Harry, it was still a little screechy like all wizarding music). Harry took Hermione in his arms and
began to dance. They danced in slow circles around the floor, passing Remus and Tonks who were
lost in each others eyes.
"They seem so happy together," Hermione commented while they watched the older couple. "As if
they were made for each other."
"Yeah," agreed Harry. "Who saw that coming? I don't even recall them even sharing a conversation
last year."
After Harry and Hermione had slowly danced away from Tonks and Remus, Hermione said to
Harry in a dulcet tone: "You do realize we'll have to get them back for that prank, don't you?"
"Oh, yeah," replied Harry in an equally sweet manner.
The next couple they saw dancing were Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.
"Oh, Hermione dear," Mrs. Weasley said as they danced closer to Harry and Hermione. "Thank
you so very much for that impassioned blessing you gave earlier."
"Err... um... " stammered Hermione, very embarrassed at the memory of her outburst earlier.
"You're welcome, Ma'am."
The two teens glided across the floor, away from the Weasleys.
"Speaking of the 'blessing'..." Hermione began. "How did you do that?"
"How'd I do what?" Harry asked as innocently as he could.
Hermione got up on her toes so that she could whisper in his ear; "Make me have a screaming
orgasm just by touching my hand?"
"Oh, that," Harry muttered. He was hesitant to tell Hermione about his 'special book' because he
knew that Hermione would want to take the book from him so she could read it for herself (she
was like that when it came to books). And he was still reading it. So Harry resolved to himself that
he would keep the book a secret just a bit longer and came up with a feeble excuse. "I didn't do
anything, it must've been nerves."
"'Nerves'?" she asked disbelievingly. Hermione then added in an alluring way; "Well, that's too
bad. I was sooo hoping it was something that you did, because then I could repay you in kind. But
seeing how it was just 'nerves' on my part..."
"Repay me how?" Harry asked, losing a bit of his resolve due to Hermione's tone.
"Why should I repay you if you did nothing?" she asked rhetorically. Hermione then did something
very unexpected. While biting her lip, she pulled away from Harry slightly and tugged the front of
her gown down a touch so the top of a very exciting looking black lacy bra, along with a nice
expansive view of her cleavage, was revealed. Upon seeing the top edge of the aforementioned bra,
let alone the sight of the wondrous flesh, Harry's resolve of secrecy was completely forgotten. As a
matter of fact, his resolve wasn't the only thing he forgot; he also happened to forget his own name.
It was at this point that 'Harry, Jr.' woke up and took over those pesky thought processes for Harry.
The fifth appendage poked Hermione in the hip as if to inform her that her plan to get Harry to tell
her his secret had worked.
"I found a boob... uh boo... book. I um mean I uh found a book in the um restricted section..." Harry
rambled in a monotone as a little bit of drool threatened to escape his mouth.
Hermione pushed her bosom against Harry's chest, causing her breasts to push up and almost
('Harry, Jr.' seemed to pray) out of her gown. He so desperately wanted to pull the gown down the
rest of the way and ravish her boobs with his mouth.
"Can I see this book later?" Hermione asked, knowing the answer. She knew the answer already
because she playfully ground her hips into 'Harry, Jr.', causing the organ to swell even more. This
action assured the proper response.
But before Harry could groan out a primal and heartfelt "yes," he felt a tap on his shoulder. He
turned and saw two mops of flaming red hair.
"Mind if we cut in?" Ron asked. Before Harry could respond, Hermione was torn from his grasp
and was quickly replaced with the girl who physically resembled his mother!
Harry looked to Hermione for a plan; she was after all the smartest witch in their generation. She
could easily formulate a plan to get him out of the predicament of a slow dance with the girl who
physically resembled his mother! Alas, Hermione had the same look of desperation in her eyes as
well. Hermione quickly disappeared into the crowd with the lumbering red-headed lummox.
Ginny started out by going up on her toes to whisper in Harry's ear "I hope you don't mind, but I
plan on using this dance to change your mind about us." Right after she finished her statement,
Ginny attempted the same tactic Hermione had tried just moments before. She shoved her chest
into Harry's in an attempt to show off her meager cleavage and shortly there after began to grind
her boyish hips into his.
Normally, Harry would have been mortally embarrassed because Ginny would have noticed 'Harry,
Jr.'. She would have noticed because the bugger was, just previously, fully awake and raring to
play "hide-and-seek" with Hermione. Luckily for Harry though, when he saw the girl who looked
like his mum shove her boobs into his chest, 'Harry, Jr.' instantly lost all interest. But to say that the
organ simply "lost interest" was a bit of an understatement. It would be more to the point to say
that 'Harry, Jr.' lost so much interest that he grabbed his luggage and went on a little holiday to visit
one of his relatives up north, the spleen.
"C'mon Harry," Ginny implored in a throaty tone as rubbed her chest against his (one might argue
that the word "breast" should have been used, but seeing that she hardly had any boobs, others
would be more correct by arguing that "chest" is the proper word to describe it). Her hand slid
down his back, inching her way to his bum. "You know I could make you a very, very happy
man..."
"Um, Ginny..." squeaked Harry. "I really don't think..." The young wizard broke out in a cold
sweat and tried to force himself to tell the girl who looked like his mother that he was no longer
(thanks be to every possible deity) interested in her. He thought that he was doing a fairly decent
job at it as well, seeing how he was succeeding in fighting the urge to run away. He was successful
,, that is, until Ginny licked her lips ravenously and squeezed his arse.
That's when all of Harry's remaining cool fled from him. With a manly shout of "GAH!", Harry
smacked the shiny haired girl's hand away from his posterior and ran like a frightened child. Ginny
was left standing dumbfounded in the middle of the dance floor as Harry pushed his way through
the crowd. He desperately needed air, he felt like he was suffocating. As he reached the edge of the
dance floor, a panting Harry noticed Ron walking up to him.
"You okay, mate?" Ron asked as he took his place besides Harry. "You look like you were attacked
by a vicious, bloodthirsty beast."
"Practically," answered Harry, finding Ron's analogy somewhat fitting.
"Well, it looks like we both have to sit the next dance out," Ron continued while Harry tried to
catch his breath. "Hermione's mental, I tell you. We were just talking about stuff then she tells me
that she wants to talk about us. And I thought that was a great idea and I told her what I'd like to do
to her later..." Ron ended his eloquent statement by making the same rude "kneading dough"
gesture from before. "Then she sees Arnold again and runs off talking about 'troubles'."
"Tribbles," Harry corrected.
"I'd just like to start off where we left off the other day, is all." Ron whined. "It was great, Harry,"
Ron stated in an overzealous tone. "We were in my room when we started to snog..."
Harry remembered Hermione's recollections of that day and realized that Ron was embellishing a
bit.
"... she then moaned in my ear 'you're so wonderful, Ron'..."
It was this point that Harry realized that his friend wasn't just embellishing a bit, he was utterly
delusional! Harry desperately wanted to tell Ron about his and Hermione's relationship so Ron
wouldn't embarrass himself further, but he knew that Hermione wanted to be the one who broke the
news to him.
"I know I shouldn't tell you this Harry, seeing how you're single now and you'll get jealous but,"
Ron beamed with masculine pride. "... I felt her up! It was fantastic! It's like I'm a man now!"
Harry wanted to yell at him: 'You felt her up? Big Deal! You didn't even see her even a little naked,
I saw her very naked! And as for fondling her, I felt her up very properly. Right before I ate her
out!'
"Mind you, I do prefer blondes," Ron said as he stared dumbly at Fleur, who was standing behind
Luna Lovegood as the two girls waited to pour themselves their drinks from the bar. "Maybe I
could get Hermione to dye her hair?"
"I like her hair the way it is!" Harry protested. "It's a part of who she is!'
"I thought you liked red-heads, like Ginny?" Ron questioned roughly, taken back at Harry's
impassioned tone. Harry shuddered at the memory of running his fingers through Ginny's red hair,
the same hair color as his mother's!
Harry shook his head in an attempt to rid his mind of those disturbing images and looked up and
saw that Hermione had joined the line to get a drink.
"I knew you'd be jealous," Ron stated.
"I'm not jealous..." Harry began to argue when he saw Ginny sneak up behind Hermione as she
approached the bar for her own drink. The red haired witch pulled a small glass vial out of her
robes and inconspicuously poured its contents into Hermione's cup. Obviously, Hermione didn't
see Ginny or notice the younger witch pour the mysterious liquid into her cup, because Hermione
filled the tampered cup up with pumpkin juice and started to raise it to her lips. Terror coursed
through Harry at the thought of Hermione drinking whatever it was that Ginny had poured into her
cup!
Harry reacted purely on instinct. He whipped out his wand and shouted in a clear and very loud
voice, "ACCIO HERMIONE'S CUP!"
Now, something strange happened. Harry clearly stated that he wanted to Summon Hermione's cup,
but for some odd reason, his magic misunderstood him. Instead of Summoning Hermione's drink
cup like he had commanded, Harry's magic Summoned Hermione's B-cups.
With a sound of tearing fabric, Hermione's lacey, black bra flew from her bosom and into Harry's
waiting hand. Harry gulped when he saw Hermione's shocked and angry expression. He gulped
because he saw her wondrous boobs as well- he thought idly that her boobs giggled quite nicely.
Hermione quickly recovered and grabbed the fragments of her dress and covered her exposed flesh.
Luckily, everyone's attention had been on Harry because he had shouted, and no one saw
Hermione's embarrassment. Everyone that is except for Ron.
"Merlin," Ron muttered out in a stunned tone, "I think I saw one of her nipples..."
A small part of Harry's brain internally pondered on what Ron had said and asked, 'Did he see
'Carmella' or 'Natasha'?'
The one positive effect of this disastrous event was that Hermione had dropped her drink that had
been spiked by Ginny. Of course the main effect of this disastrous event wasn't positive and it
could possibly lead to Harry's death. Or even worse, never seeing Hermione naked again! This
negative effect was Hermione's rage, and it was directed at Harry. The raven-haired wizard gulped
once more, this time in plain fear, under the icy gaze coming from his definitely more-than-a-friend
friend.
Recovering his senses, Harry quickly pointed his wand at Ginny and shouted "ACCIO GINNY'S
VIAL! The small glass container popped out of Ginny's pocket and flew into Harry's waiting hand,
the same hand that was still holding Hermione's enticing bra, mind you.
Harry stormed up to Ginny and shoved his left hand in her face while pointing his wand at her with
his right. "What is this?" Harry demanded loudly.
"Err... Hermione's bra..." Ginny offered innocently, as if she had done nothing wrong.
"No, not that," Harry spat as he pulled the undergarment out of his hand and discreetly pocketed it
(he reckoned that if the "Accio" incident was going to ruin his chances with Hermione, at least he
would have a souvenir). He then shoved the glass vial in the red head's face and demanded: "What
is this?"
"N- Nothing," Ginny defended, "it's just water."
A large group of people, including Mr. and Mrs. Weasley and Slughorn, had gathered around to see
what the commotion was all about.
"Pardon, if I may?" Horace Slughorn offered as he walked up to Harry. The younger, skinnier
wizard handed the vial to the older, obese wizard. Slughorn held the vial up to his nose and inhaled
deeply. A surprised look appeared on his face. "Oho, this is a Lust Potion... what are you planning
on doing my dear?" he asked, turning to Ginny.
"A Lust Potion?" Hermione asked, "Harry, what was she doing?"
"She poured this into your drink," explained Harry and all the color from Hermione's face drained
away.
"It was... It was only a joke," stated Ginny.
"My dear, a Lust Potion isn't something to trifle with," Slughorn said gravely. "It causes the person
who drinks it to lose all of their inhibitions when it comes to physical passions. It's very similar to
Love Potions if only much milder in its duration..."
Harry suddenly recalled the conversation he had with Hermione a few days ago; she had said that
she had acted strangely the previous school year, that she "felt compelled" to start dating. Then a
question hit Harry, was the reason Hermione had "felt compelled" to date Ron and her strange
behavior during the last year all because Ginny had poisoned her?
"How many times have you poisoned her?" Harry demanded.
"Just this once," Ginny stated in a very convincing way. "I told you it was just a joke!"
"That's a very sick idea of a joke, young lady," Molly chastised her as Hermione looked like she
was about to break down and start sobbing. At first, Harry believed Ginny's statement that she had
only done it once and was about to drop his line of questioning when another realization dawned
upon him. He remembered two years ago, when he had arrived at Grimmauld Place and saw first-
hand how Ginny could lie in a very convincing manner. He recalled that he thought at the time that
she would make a good actress because of her ability to lie. 'She was a good liar!'
Harry suddenly realized that he couldn't trust Ginny's word, not when it came to Hermione's well
being. He had to see if Ginny had been poisoning Hermione; he had to do it for Hermione's sake.
Harry knew that he would have to force the truth out of Ginny somehow and he only knew of two
ways of doing that. The first was to use Veritaserum, but that potion was regulated by the Ministry
and he doubted that he could get his hands on it. The other way was fairly dangerous, and he had
not been trained in it at all; he had only been trained how to defend himself from it. But he had to
see if Ginny was lying, he had to do it for Hermione.
Once more, Harry leveled his wand at Ginny and declared, "Legilimens!"
A migraine inducing swarm of images and emotions flooded Harry's brain. Image after image flew
past him, like he was watching some horribly edited film. Harry forced himself to concentrate on
Ginny's thoughts and images relating to Hermione and potions. The first dozen images that rushed
by Harry dealt with Hermione tutoring Ginny with her Potion Essays. But then, he saw an image of
Hermione in Muggle clothes at the Burrow and saw Ginny indiscreetly pour contents of a glass vial
into Hermione's tea cup. The last image Harry saw before breaking the connection was a repeat
performance from just moments before, when both Ginny and Hermione were standing in line,
waiting for a drink.
Harry lowered his wand and fell to his knees; his brain felt like it was threatening to pop out of his
skull in the most horrific and gruesome way possible. Ginny, by the looks of it, was suffering from
a similar headache.
The group that had gathered around was staring at Harry and Ginny in stunned silence.
"When did you give her that first dosage?" Harry asked. A scowl appeared on Ginny's face at
Harry's question. Harry asked again: "You gave her the Lust Potion sometime ago. When was it?"
"A few days ago, when you Owled her for help," Ginny replied through gritted teeth.
Harry heard Hermione gasp aloud. He turned to face her and saw that she had tears streaming
down her face. "Hermione..." began Harry. Hermione looked at Harry with absolute terror in her
eyes. Before Harry could do anything, Hermione dashed toward the Burrow. Tonks and Remus
quickly gave chase.
"Hermione, wait!" Harry implored and began to follow her when a small hand grabbed him by his
arm.
"Don't you want to know why I did it?" Ginny asked, her face twisted with anger. "I did it so my
lummox of a brother and that Know-it-all would finally hook up. Merlin knows he needs all the
help he can get. But I did it because I needed to get Hermione out of the way, so we could be
together. She's the only girl you've ever talk to," Ginny continued.
"Have you ever asked yourself why that is?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, it tells me that you need to talk to more girls," retorted Ginny.
"No, it should tell you that I'm in love with her!" exclaimed Harry and a collective gasp emanated
from the crowd. Along with the gasps, several dozen flashes went off as the photographers who
had accompanied the reporters to the wedding took pictures. Many of the reporters were muttering
about the scoop of the year while scribbling notes down on bits of parchment. A moment later, a
number of these reporters apparated away, obviously to write up articles on The Chosen One's love
life. A wave of anxiety washed over Harry as he realized that his outburst would more likely than
not end up as front page news.
"You're in what with who?" Ron sputtered.
Harry paused before answering, as he did a bit of soul searching. For the past few days, while he
and Hermione spent more time together than ever before (and some of that was 'naked time'), he
hadn't really bothered to try and define his feelings for her. Even though the outburst was
unintentional; it felt natural; it was something Harry had wanted to say for a long time. It felt right
saying it, and it made Harry happy, the happiest he had been in a long time.
"I said that I'm in love with Hermione," repeated Harry.
"But you can't be in love with Hermione," argued Ron. "You love Ginny"
"No, I don't," Harry responded.
"Of course you do. It's the way it's supposed to be."
"Ron, look at her," Harry stated while pointing at Ginny. "She looks like my mother!"
"So, what does that...?" Ron began to debate but then stopped and looked at his sister. Slowly, his
eyes started to bulge as the realization that his best mate appeared to have had an Oedipus Complex
sunk in Ron's mind. "Eww, that's just wrong..."
"Tell me about it," agreed Harry as he unsuccessfully tried to repress a shudder.
"Hey, I'm standing right here!" Ginny shouted.
"But that doesn't matter," Ron continued, obviously getting over his shock of finally noticing that
Harry and Ginny's relationship was sick and twistedly wrong. "Hermione's still my girl!"
"How can that be Ron?" asked Harry. "You find her boring and a nag. She finds you lazy and pig-
headed. She loves to learn and read; the last thing you read that wasn't assigned to read for a class
was a Quidditch Playbook. Even then you didn't really read it, you merely looked at the pictures.
The only thing you two have in common is your constant bickering!"
"But isn't squabbling a sign of a good relationship?" Ron asked.
"Yes," replied Harry, dripping in scorn. "In poorly written Muggle comedic films... not in real life!
In real life, at best it's a sign of an impending break-up. At worst, it's nothing more than emotional
abuse. Because of the arguments you both have, it's obvious you two don't respect each other.
Damn it, respect is the best foundation for a good relationship, not fighting! Hermione and I respect
each other. We also have more in common than you ever did with her."
"But that isn't fair," Ron continued. "You get everything, Harry! Fame, fortune, and now you want
the girl, too?"
"Wait a tic," interrupted Harry, his anger growing. "Do I have to point out to you that the only
reason I have 'fame and fortune' is because a very mean man murdered my family simply because
he was trying to kill me?"
"Oh, well, yeah, but..." Ron answered dumbly. "You've got me there..."
"And do I also have to point out that because of that 'killing my family' thing I grew up in an
abusive household? And because of that 'mean man trying to kill me' thing, I've been pursued and
attacked by every bad guy in the British Isles?"
"But that doesn't mean you can get the girl..."
"Yes, it does!" Harry yelled. "After all the pain and crap I've gone through, I deserve a little
happiness! Besides, I'm the hero... that entitles me to the girl!"
"What does that make me then?" Ron spat. "The side kick?"
"Um..." Harry hesitated before answering, "...well, yeah, kind of."
Ron bellowed out a curse and he stormed off toward the row of trees behind the Burrow.
"If you're the 'hero' and Ron's the 'side kick'," Ginny seethed, her anger flowing off of her skin.
"What does that make me?"
"I don't know, Ginny," stated Harry. "Right now, based on your actions, I'd have to say you're
nothing more than a crazed stalker!"
Ginny huffed angrily and promptly followed Ron to the trees.
"Harry," Mr. Weasley calmly said trying to diffuse the sticky situation. "I think it's best if you
leave for now. Just let them calm down for a while."
Harry knew he was right; this was not the time to try to mend his friendship with Ron. Hopefully,
he would be able to do it later.
Dejectedly, Harry headed to the Burrow where he found Tonks and Lupin waiting for him.
"Do you know where Hermione went?" asked Harry.
"She was a bit... distraught when she came in here," Tonks stated.
"So we made her a Portkey to take her back to the Gryffindor Common Room," Remus concluded.
Harry paused lost in his thoughts. He was torn between either running to Hermione to see if she
was okay or leaving her alone for a bit so that she could think this through. He really didn't know
what to do; he had never been in a situation like this before. He knew Hermione was hurting, but he
didn't know if or how he could help her. He then thought of Remus, surely he had been through
something like this. Maybe he could give Harry some advice on what to do. Harry turned to
Remus, but before he could ask the older wizard for advice, Remus spoke up.
"And we happened to make a similar Portkey for you as well," Remus said while pointing to an old
shoe lying on the table next to Harry.
"Thank you," Harry said and shook Remus' hand.
"Good luck, Harry," said Tonks.
Harry touched the Portkey and a second later, he crashed onto the floor of the Gryffindor Common
Room. Brushing himself off as he stood up, Harry looked around the room in a fruitless attempt to
find Hermione.
"Hermione!" he called out but no one answered. He then tried again, "HERMIONE!"
After a moment or two, Harry finally heard a muffled response coming from the girls' dormitory.
"Go away, Harry. I want to be left alone."
Somehow, Harry knew that even though she had said she had wanted to be alone, she wanted
desperately to be held by him. But he couldn't go up the stairs leading to her room because of that
pesky "No boys allowed" rule that the founders placed on the stairs. He knew from experience that
the moment he placed a foot on the stairs, they would magically change into a slide and an alarm
would sound, making it impossible for him to climb them. So the only way Harry could get up to
Hermione is if he flew.
Luckily, it only took Harry a mere three minutes to remember that he had his broom up in his room
(this realization came after he had tried to unsuccessfully Transfigure himself into a bird twice). He
rushed to his room and pulled his Firebolt out of his trunk. After hopping on the broom, Harry
rocketed out of his room, down the stairs, through the Common Room, and over the stairs leading
to the girls' rooms. Of course he didn't know which room was Hermione's because he had never
been there before. So Harry listened for the muffled cries of Hermione. He heard her sobs coming
from the third door on the right. Harry softly knocked on the door before entering.
He found her curled up on her bed. Hermione slowly looked up and into Harry's face. Tears had
stained her cheeks, but she had a determined look in her eyes.
"H-Harry, I don't think we should be together any more..." Hermione forced herself to say.
"What? Why?" Harry stammered, shocked at Hermione's revelation.
"Because I'm afraid what we... have, it isn't real," explained Hermione. "Ginny spiked my tea
before I came to visit you the other day and I practically molested you because of it."
"So what?" Harry retorted.
"So, the Lust Potion obviously affected me and my actions..."
"How long would the effects last?" asked Harry.
"It depends," answered Hermione, falling back into her safe routine of being the one with the
answers. "Usually only a few hours..."
"So you were under the influence of the Potion when you..." Harry began and paused slightly at the
memory of Hermione giving 'Harry, Jr.' a hand shake. "When you jumped me?"
"Yes," replied Hermione.
"What about later that night when we were in the library?"
"Probably not, but there is still a chance I was still under its effects."
"Even if you were, what about later? Were you still affected by the potion when you gave me my...
err... birthday present? That was two days after you got the potion."
"That isn't the point, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.
"Why not?"
"Because, I wouldn't have done that thing the first time without being under the effects of the
potion," she said and looked guiltily at her hand. "And even though the Lust Potion was out of my
system after that, I don't think I would've done those... things with you if I hadn't... molested you
first."
"So what you're saying is that Ginny unintentionally got us together." Harry surmised.
"Yes... what... no?" responded Hermione, obviously confused with Harry's train of thought.
"Listen," Harry began and he walked over to where Hermione was still laying. "Ginny gave you
that potion so you'd relax your inhibitions and get together with Ron. But before the effects of the
dosing kicked in, I had Owled you for help. You came over to help me, so the effects of the potion
kicked in when you and I were talking."
"Yes, that's my point!" Hermione announced.
"Let me ask you a question," Harry continued. "If I hadn't Owled you and you ended up doing...
things with Ron, would you have continued to be intimate with him after the potion wore off?"
"It's impossible to say now," answered Hermione. "I can't tell you what I would've done if the
situation was different."
"Yes, you can," Harry interrupted. "Do you honestly believe that you would've stayed with Ron,
bearing in mind that you two argue constantly and have absolutely nothing in common?
"No, probably not," Hermione replied honestly.
"And yet you've stayed with me," Harry continued. "Why is that?"
Hermione hesitated as she looked deep into Harry's eyes, obviously afraid to answer.
"Let me tell you why," Harry stated. "It's because you and I have something special, something that
goes beyond lust. Remember, according to Slughorn, the potion only lowered your inhibitions. It
would not have made you do anything that you weren't already wanting, at least subconsciously. If
you had felt nothing for me, there's no way Ginny's Lust Potion would have created these feelings.
The end result is just that you acted on your impulses rather than trying to make up reasons why
you shouldn't have done anything. And I thank God that you did make the move; I have to tell you
I was too afraid of scaring you away. I wouldn't be the same person if you weren't there for me.
And I don't think I ever want to try not having you with me."
Taking her hands in his, Harry gently guided Hermione off the bed so that she was standing in front
of her. Harry let go of her hands and softly cupped her face in his hands.
"I can honestly say Hermione..." Harry began and leaned in close to her so that his mouth hovered
over her delicate lips. "that I am deeply and sincerely in love with you."
Harry let Hermione gasp in surprise before sealing his lips over hers. He poured all of his love, all
of his being, into the kiss. He had hoped it was the type of kiss that would make Hermione's toes
curl. Apparently, Harry's tactic had worked because Hermione moaned into his mouth and she
threw her arms around his neck. His hands slid from her face, his left arm wrapped around her
body, pulling her closer to him. He ran his right hand through her hair so that he could cradle her
head.
After what seemed like hours, the two pulled away from each others' mouths and rested their
foreheads against one another.
"Oh, Harry," Hermione said softly. "How could I have doubted what we have?"
"Just don't let it happen again, love." Harry said, attempting at injecting a touch of humor.
"I love you too Harry," breathed Hermione. "And I love your hands on my bottom," Hermione
giggled. She said the word "bottom" like it was a dirty naughty thing that deserved to be spanked.
Harry thought it was a request for him to squeeze her bum, but before he could comply, he was
stopped when Hermione literarily purred and said, "Do it again, Harry."
'Again?' This puzzled the young wizard, since his hands were nowhere near her bum. In fact, his
left arm was still wrapped around her body and his right was somewhat tangled in her bushy hair.
Harry look down at Hermione's backside (something that he discovered that he liked to do) and
saw that an old, wrinkly, and somewhat transparent hand was firmly attached to his girlfriend's
bum Harry's eyes slowly followed up the transparent arm and into the smiling face of Godric
Gryffindor.
"What Cheer, Harry?" the ghost greeted Harry and promptly gave another squeeze to Hermione's
pert bottom. "Thought you needed a hand."
To be continued!
