Disclaimer: I do not own the characters and I am not affiliated in any way, shape or form with anyone who does.

He's pathetic, he really is pathetic, and what makes it more pathetic is that he doesn't even realise it. No matter how many times he manages to foil my plans and gets us caught, he still believes that he is some sort of supreme villain. That he is the best in the world when he is the most pathetic… that's all that there is to it!

So why can't he realise this? Why can't he see what he does wrong? Why can't he listen to me and just kill Kim Possible and her sidekick the moment that he captures them? Why does he insist on spending money on elaborate lairs that are just going to get trashed ten minutes later when she comes in with her heroic high-kicks and her somewhat witty quips? Why doesn't he get henchmen who are worth a dime? Why doesn't he steal any inventions he is smart enough to actually be able to control?

I'd have a better chance of being a villain if I was back with my damn family! I'd just put a shiny surface in-between them and the plot of doom and Mego would stare at himself for the rest of his life. Then the twins would try to get him back and that would only leave Hego…

And he certainly isn't the brightest of the bunch; the big dumb idiot! So I'd do to him what Drakken should have done to Possible dozens of times; I'd kill him. I'd shoot him or I'd make him explode and that would be the end of him. Forever. He wouldn't find some hidden gadget or repulsive rodent to save him when the end came… he would be gone forever!

But I'm not with my family, and I'm stuck here. Sometimes it seems that it would be easier to go and get a job as another sidekick but false loyalty counts. Everyone in the whole damn world can tell that I am sick of being here but villains like to pretend that the sidekicks don't want to rise up and take over, so I just have to wait here until Possible finally finds the stones to kill him, or he finally reaches a new level of stupidity that he'll do it to himself!

I suppose that it could be worse… I could end up with a boss who made me wear a cheerleader costume as an outfit. It's not that I couldn't pull it off, I obviously could, but I'd rather be known for my fighting talent than my chest.

Hah, I'd like to see any boss try to make me wear one. Drakken suggested a maid's uniform when I first started working for him and he didn't sit down for a week! He didn't sleep for a whole damn month… he didn't suggest it again.

So, it could be made worse by a costume. How else? How about if they actually made me clean? Or made me keep my opinions to myself? Ugh, I'm shuddering at the thought of it. I swear that if it wasn't for the fact that he's too stupid to understand even the concept of sarcasm, I wouldn't be able to make it through the day!

Wait? What am I saying? Of course it couldn't be worse! I could prance around in my lingerie with gigantic manicured nails with sparkly dolphins painted on them… I could bleach my hair blonde and get a perm… I could clean the biggest mansion on the planet with my toothbrush… I could have my mouth sewn up… but if I had a chance to take over the world?

It would be worth it.