Disclaimer: see first chapter.

Heya guys, thanks for the response to the first chapter, it was great. BookWorm37: Everyone knows what a Tardis is and if they don't they have obviously had a deprived childhood. Rahainia: You want Pete bashing? hmm let me think about that one...OK! I could do that! Not right now though. Later. I promise.

Thanks for everyone's reveiws, they're great. Anyway, on with the show!



The walls of the room literally loomed over them, pillars of gold and thick, velvety curtains hung around the great hall. The high ceiling was clouded over and Jack could barely see the top thanks to the vast quantity of pink smoke wafting from the grand fireplace at the far side of the hall.

Daniel was already skipping around the room, looking at anything he could touch, vases, statues, books, ornaments, herbs and something that looked suspiciously like a crystal ball. The younger man was babbling at Jack incoherently, streaming off a litany of facts and dates and happenings, most of which Jack couldn't care less about. Teal'c was obediently listening to the archaeologist and was nodding in the appropriate places, raising his eyebrow at confusing statements and basically standing nonchalantly with his hands behind his back as if nothing could faze him. Not even walking into a room he expected to be a hundred times smaller.

Jack started to make his way across into the middle of the great room to where a large, mahogany dining table sat waiting with plates and plates of grand food with silver cutlery and clean ceramic dishes placed neatly in front of what Jack could only describe as thrones. They were too big to be normal dining chairs with intricate patterns of which Daniel was already describing and mumbling to himself about. He had even got out his sketchbook and starting rubbing some of them onto the paper.

With his heels scuffing the polished marble surface, Jack halted at his 2IC's side; she was in a polite conversation with the mysterious old woman.

"Carter?" Jack asked, perplexed, as he gave one more glance around the place and was startled to find big bay windows on one wall. They were HUGE, covered in curtains and silks so hardly any light came through.

"Yes, sir!" she said, turning to him with a grin beaming on her face. She was obviously happy about the fact they had just walked into the twilight zone.

"What just happened?" he said while rubbing his forehead and taking off his cap and sunglasses.

"I have no idea," she grinned. She seemed strangely happy about that fact; however, it made Jack slightly on edge. Sam smiled warmly at his unease. "I'm hoping to find out though, sir."

Her eyes sparkled at him in that familiar way, her excitement shone through every time she was met with an impossible problem or piece of technology. He smiled at her and turned towards the old woman.

"Hi, I'm Jack," he said.

"I know! I know!" her voice crackled as she waved her hand at him as if she were swatting a particularly annoying fly.

"You do?" Jack asked, confused.

"I told her, sir," Sam explained.

Jack mouthed 'Oh' at her then scrunched his eyebrows up at the old woman's impatience.

"Sit! Sit!" she screamed at them, "Eat!" Bracelets jangled and rings clattered as she gestured at the four thrones around the huge table.

Jack looked around at the rest of his team and nodded at them to do so. This woman didn't seem so bad and the food looked…edible. Jack took a seat at one side of the extensive table and Carter sat next to him, which actually meant she was a good two meters away. Daniel sat opposite…not that Jack could see him past the large bowl of fruit and a platter that held a brown, sizzling animal that looked vaguely like a boar of some kind. Teal'c placed himself at the end of the table and the woman made herself comfortable at the head on a raised chair so that she was watching over all of them.

"Eat!" she commanded again, with wide eyes and spitting mouth.

"Let's get to know each other a bit more first, shall we?" Jack said cheerfully.

The woman's eyes narrowed as she regarded him sternly then proceeded to fill her own plate with food. She grabbed at anything close to her and signalled the team to do the same.

"I am an old woman, Jack O'Neill," she rasped, "Please, eat my food and humour me while I have the time. If you are worried that I might deceive you by feeding you poisoned food, you are mistaken," she grinned. "If you died, who would I talk to?"

"Can we at least know your name?" he asked as he picked at foods and squinted at things he definitely didn't recognise. He glanced at Carter and pointed at some green mush, silently asking her approval. She just shrugged her shoulders and carried on filling her plate with things that looked vaguely earth-like.

"Of course you can!" The freaky woman yelled through a piece of meat she was holding to her mouth.

SG-1 all started eating carefully, sniffing at everything they ate and checking the color and consistency of the food they held up to their mouth. Jack, Sam and Daniel all had chosen recognisable things but Teal'c was a different story. Jack frowned at Teal'c's mountain of strange foods and sauces, he'd filled two plates and a few of bowls with strange coloured concoctions and fruits then had immediately started to eat his fill. It was strangely hypnotic watching the large man eat without reserve.

Jack managed to tear his eyes off of Teal'c enough to realise that the old woman hadn't answered his question.

"You haven't answered my question."

"Yes I have," she returned.

"No you haven't."

"Have."

"Haven't-"

"Sir!" Carter interrupted before this could go on any longer. The old woman snorted at Jack's guilty face and chuckled at Daniel's smirk.

Jack sighed and closed his eyes for a moment with his head down; when he looked back up, he had a smile firmly in place. "Could you answer it…again?" he asked and at Carter's glare added, "Please?"

"Yes, I could," she answered with a rasping giggle. She wiggled in her seat, getting comfortable. She could do this all day.

Jack took a deep breath and caught a glimpse of Daniel's face between two piles of food. The archaeologist was thoroughly enjoying Jack's discomfort and wasn't trying to hide it. The Colonel turned to his subordinate for help but was met with the sight of her failing to hide a smile. Teal'c was still eating.

"What is your name?" Jack asked directly.

"It's a proper noun, what else?"

Jack's head hit the table in despair and he could hear Daniel's laughter from the other side of the food.

"Sometimes, Jack O'Neill, when you ask a question you will not always get the answer you desire. You will have to live with that." the woman smiled warmly and glanced at him over her spectacles.

"It's nice when you do, though," Jack said.

"Even nicer when you've had to work for it," the woman was positively gleaming now. "My name is Sophie,"

"Well, Jack, I think you just learnt a valuable lesson," Daniel smiled, "It took you long enough though."

"I didn't see you trying to help!" Jack said accusingly.

Daniel looked up and scrunched his eyebrows then raised them as he thought of what to say. "Well…she…uh…" he pushed glasses up his nose. "She gave me her name earlier."


You should know what to do to get me to write more. I'll give you a hint. It's blue or purple, kinda rectangular, you press it, you get this nice clicking sound...