Acha! REAL sorry about the lag between chapters, but here it is! My funny mind seemed to be taking a looong break, but now it's back, probably a little sluggish from not being funny for a bit, but it'll get warmed up in no time! And I don't own Lost.

The Tailies are walking around when suddenly, WHISPERS!
Whispers: No one loves you! Give me back my lawn mower you jackass!
Libby: Oh god! I forgot about that!
Ana Lucia: Forgetting...
Libby: Ana?

Flashback!

Ana Lucia: Ahh oh my god we've crashed on a mysterious island I'm swimming I'm swimming I'm on land oh no there's someone who's dying I'll help ahh someone called out from the jungle that someone's in trouble they're up in a tree I give a long winded speech and they're safe whew! Glad that flashback was over. (someone approaches and whispers in her ear.) What? I'm not gonna spend a whole episode about the tailies! (Kills him.) What? I'm dead inside.

End Flashback.

Libby: You have got to stop using that excuse!

Flashba...
Libby: What? Another one? How many are there gonna be in this episode?
Eko: We're telling people what happened before we were introduced.
Ana Lucia: Son of a...

FLASHBACK!

Libby: ANA LUCIA! Why did you put that guy in the pit?
Ana Lucia: I'm dead inside.
Libby: Oh. Okay! (Walks off. Ana Lucia laughs manically.)
Ana Lucia: I have got to use that more often...

ANOTHER FLASHBACK!

Ana Lucia: Can I have that knife, Goodwin?
Goodwin: No.
Ana Lucia: I'm dead inside.
(Goodwin Bursts into tears and hands her the knife.)
Ana Lucia: Heh heh...

END FLASHBACK!

Libby: Is it over?
Ana Lucia: I think...OH MY GOD A PERSON! (Shoots person!)
Jack: Urgh... (Kate runs in)
Kate: Oh no! I just realised I had feelings for Jack but now he's dead! (Jack comes back to life!) I've lost interest. (Walks off. Jack stares at Sawyer.)
Michael: Jack, are you okay? (Jack grabs Sawyer)
Jack: Heal healHeal healHeal healHeal healHeal healHeal healHeal healHeal heal...

Back at the hatch...

Locke: Eat those pellets...eat them...that's right Pac Man...EAT THEM! (Jack enters and starts treating Sawyer.)
Jack: Heal healHeal healHeal healHeal healHeal heal...
Locke: The island will heal him, Jack.
Jack: SILENCE! (Timer starts beeping.) Locke. The high score.
Locke: I like pie.
Jack: That's nice healpeople, but you need to get the high score.
Locke: You know, a long time ago a guy built a statue to his wife and said "Lemon!"
Jack: ...Just get the high score. (Locke does so. Eko enters.)
Locke: Hello.
Eko: Hello.
Locke: So.
Eko: So.
Locke: I like pie.

A few hours later at the beach...

Jack: I'm walking, I'm walking... (golf ball hits him in the stomach. Kate enters.)
Kate: Sorry! My aim was off.
Jack: Where were you aiming?
Kate: Between the eye...I mean I love you...no wait I like Sawyer now.
Jack: Oh.
Kate: Now back to you.
Jack: Well, anyway...I could give you some tips on your golfing technique... (Sawyer enters.)
Sawyer: That what they're callin' it these days?
Jack: Wrong episode, Sawyer.

At the golf course...

Kate: Okay, your turn. (Jack hits the ball, but it goes waaaaaaay off into the jungel.) Wow, you really put it in there!
Jack: ...
Kate: I mean reeaally in there! That was such a rubbish shot I can't believe it...
Jack: Kate...
Kate: ...Sure, sometimes I was bad but never by that much I mean COME ON Jack...
Jack: Kate.
Kate: That must be the worst shot in the history of the entire universe...
Jack: KATE! (Inhaler hits her on the head. Sawyer enters.) Thanks, Sawyer.
Sawyer: I didn't do it for you. (Kate wakes up.)
Kate: I like Sawyer.
Sawyer: There we go!
Kate: Back to Jack.

Who will Kate eventually end up with? Will the monkies make a guest appearence? Maybe we'll find out next time...