CHAPTER THREE
Ballad Of A Thin Man

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She couldn't move.

She couldn't talk.

She couldn't make a sound.

All she could do was stare. And stare. And stare.

Death reeked in her nose. It stole away her thoughts, and turned her sights into nothing more but animated nightmares.

When she moved, it wasn't by her own dictation. When he moved, it wasn't Touya.

He got up slowly, sickeningly slowly. He threw his body weight over, so he rolled onto his side rather wetly. Entrails pushed through his stomach. A bloody mass fell out with a sodden plop.

Bile rose up her throat, her stomach undulating.

His arms had fallen over when he rolled, but they reached down to push himself upwards. His limbs looked like useless, heavy twigs, torn and battered but still used like makeshift canes. When he managed to get to his feet, long intestines were hanging down, his mouth gaped open, and his tongue lolled.

"Sa-kur-a," he said, singing out her name in joy, punctuating each syllable.

Dimly, she heard people calling out her name, and screaming. She stopped in the middle of the kitchen.

Tomoyo. Kero. Syaoran.

They were calling her back.

When Touya began to lurch towards her, each step coming down heavily with his arms swinging uselessly at his sides, Sakura realized she was the one screaming.

"Why don't you wish your big brother a good morning? Are you such a monster?"

The childhood nickname stopped her screaming cold. The twisted grin was back on his face, but his eyes were still disturbingly blank. Empty. The perverseness of Touya calling her monster wiped her mind of everything, until she felt as blank and empty as his eyes.

"What are you?" she whispered.

He stopped in front of her, body swaying with the sudden stillness and weighed down with dead weight.

"Sakura," he tsked, "Is that any way to speak to me?"

"Why are you doing this?"

He raised a hand, the motion making bones crack and pop.

"I have something to tell you. You won't shoot the messenger, will you?"

Sakura recoiled at the hand. Torn and bloodied, fingernails cracked and broken, his hand reached for her. She jerked when it came down on her shoulder, and tightened, tightened until bone rubbed against bone and until she couldn't jerk away.

"Won't you listen to me?"

Shuddering, she tried to breathe through her mouth. When she tasted the stench of death in the back of her mouth and she gagged and switched back to breathing through her nose.

It surrounded her. It was touching her. She felt death crawl from Touya's fingers and into her shoulder, making her cold, cold, so cold.

She had to remember this wasn't Touya.

Don't speak to it like it's Touya.

She raised her head to meet those empty brown eyes.

"What do you want from me?"

The maniacal grin was back, flecks of blood flying from his mouth as he spoke.

"I want you, Sakura. Have you not figured it out yet? After all these years and the silly Card Mistress still can't figure out a simple thing like this on her own?"

His other hand came up to grasp her other shoulder.

Sakura shook her head wildly, her hair whipping over his hands and coming away bloody.

"No. No. I don't know."

He's an illusion. Focus. Focus.

But his hands felt so real on her shoulders as he tightened his grip.

"Magic. Power." His face dropped to level with hers. "Isn't it always about power?"

She hardly registered the words. All she could see was that empty brown and smell death coming off him in waves. She gagged. She couldn't stop it. She vomited on Touya's torso.

He peeled back his lips and laughed with the smell of blood and gore on his breath.

"What are you?" she repeated weakly. "Why are you doing this?"

"Such lack of creativity in questions. I thought it would be fun! Don't you think?" Touya smiled at her and chills ran down her spine.

"Why Touya? Why use Touya?"

"Ah. There. A new question." He leaned in until it looked like a parody of the beginning of a lovers kiss. "I really did think it was funny. Dear Sakura, staying up so late to make sure nothing bad happens. Just to wake up late and find me dead." His voice dropped until she was sure she was the only one that could hear him. "And now that your little green wolf is here, things are finally going to get fun. Fun, fun, fun. Don't you think? I can hardly wait."

Terror stabbed through her, the suddenness of it making her head light. She swayed at the sensation, but Touya's grip kept her still.

"Leave Syaoran alone," she whispered. "He's not in this. I'll make him go back. I'll make him go away."

Touya shook his head as he tsked again, foul breath on her face. "I don't think so. That would just suck all the fun right out. I like the look of your little wolf. Not quite the alpha male yet, but so willing to keep you safe. How interesting that would make things."

"No…" she breathed. "Please. Just… Not Syaoran."

"Then Tomoyo? Your father? Or maybe one of your guardians? Your childhood crush, Yukito? Which one would you sacrifice to save the other?"

The terror backed up in her throat and made her vision swim.

"Can't choose? Maybe I should just take them all."

"No! You said you wanted me. Just me."

His shoulders lifted in a lazy shrug. A great feat to be done with an animated corpse.

"Yes, well, think of all the fun that could be had with the others. But Sakura, I never truly answered your question, did I? Why Touya?" A wicked grin filled her vision. "Don't you think it would be funny if an overprotective big brother in life wound up killing his little sister in death?"

As he said this, the fingers that dug into her shoulder loosened and began to slide up to her neck. Her hands shot up to stop him when his face leaned in closer for a kiss.

She didn't want to touch him. She really didn't want to touch him.

But now that his flesh was under her fingertips, she felt the shredded skin, jutting bones, and slick feel of blood.

This isn't Touya. It isn't Touya. It's not Touya!

She shrank into herself as his hands tightened, tightened on her throat.

She didn't ask herself where the hell everyone was. It never crossed her mind. She didn't think about dying. She couldn't think about anything but empty brown eyes staring into hers.

But as she watched, Touya changed in front of her. She felt it under her hands as the blood slowly flecked away. Skin puckered together, gapes closing, sewing back together until it came out smooth and flawless, as if never punctured. Then the healing touched his eyes.

She couldn't breathe. His hands were cutting off respiration and black spots were appearing in front of her eyes.

But she didn't move to stop him.

All she could see was how his eyes changed from blank and empty, to bright and filled with glee as his hands wrapped around her throat, choking her.

"You were too late to save me," he whispered.

The words pricked through the haze of shock. Black was edging into her vision when she felt the smooth skin of Touya's face under her hands.

Rage bubbled in her.

It murdered Touya.

It took his battered body and used it like a toy.

It threatened her.

It threatened everyone.

Tomoyo. Her father. Yukito. Yue. Kero… Syaoran.

And all she could do was stand here and babble?

Fiery burned inside of her. The magic pulsed through her body and filled her thoughts, her mind, and her very soul.

She didn't realize what she was doing. She didn't see how Touya jerked under her fingertips when the skin began to singe and smoke under her touch.

Through her blackening vision and the feeling of her body shutting down, the magic burned up inside of her. She couldn't breathe. But she found air when she felt flames erupt from her very being.

Then darkness took her in.

The last thing she saw was Touya's skull in her hands, flesh and muscles blackened and burned, torn and ripped away, and hanging from the bones.


The imitation of good faith
Is how you stumble upon hate.
--The Wallflowers