CHAPTER FIVE
Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands
--
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Syaoran watched Sakura sit up a bit straighter, her face lifting with a defiant chin. This wasn't the girl who would squeal over indecision anymore. No, this Sakura was tougher, with much more grit and determination he would've ever given her credit for.
"You heard me well enough, Syaoran. You're going back to Hong Kong. Frankly, this isn't your problem."
His lips compressed into an irritated thin line upon hearing her words.
"If it's danger, and it involves you, then it damn well is my problem. I think I made that perfectly clear four years ago."
Sakura shook her head.
"We were a lot younger back then."
We were in love, a voice screamed in the back of his mind. He pushed it away. There was no way was he going to shriek that out at her, so he took a slightly safer route.
"We also had a lot of feelings for each other."
"Love? Syaoran, we were fourteen!"
His teeth gritted as he tried to keep said feelings in check.
"I didn't say that. I meant I cared about you a lot then, Sakura, and I still do, despite four years of silence."
"Well that's hardly my fault."
"Of course it isn't," he scowled. "I just… I really meant it about you calling me if you had any problems."
"Well I did, and you didn't get any of it."
"Well you didn't get anything from my side either!"
They both stopped, taking a moment to breathe before they started screaming at each other over a conversation they already screamed over already.
"And we were getting on so civilly earlier," Sakura muttered.
"And we would still be if you hadn't lost all sense of rational thought and demanded I go back to Hong Kong."
This time Sakura scowled at him. He just tilted his head slightly and studied her face.
"You know, Sakura, despite serious lack of sleep, exhaustion, draining your magic, and grief, you're looking pretty good."
Her scowl just deepened.
"Go away, Syaoran. If you won't go back to Hong Kong, then just go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and leave me alone."
He stood and looked down at her for a minute. He was studying much more than just her physical appearance.
"What?" she snapped when he just stared at her and made no move to leave.
"You've changed a lot, Sakura. You didn't just grow up, you got tougher, harder, you learned how to… be more independent and… leadership," he finally decided. "You've really grown into that leadership role. Snapping out orders a lot better, that whole lot."
"So?"
He quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'm just trying to say, you've changed. But there's one thing that you're never going to lose: that innate goodness. You're a do-gooder at heart, the one that always has a helping hand."
Sakura just continued to stare at him.
"And do-gooders have soft hearts, Sakura. You're always going to put others before yourself, and try to hide all that worry and need in you from them. So I know something. You're just worried about me. That's why you want me to go back. Now I just need to figure out the why. My guess is that… thing said something to you. What was it?"
When she didn't answer, Syaoran just nodded.
"Right. I'm going to go now, but I'll be back later," he paused. "Don't cut me out, Sakura. I'm here now."
He didn't wait for a reply he knew he wasn't going to get. He just left, gently shutting the door on his way out.
--
When Syaoran left, Sakura waited in her bed and listened to the sounds of his departure. She heard his footsteps traveling away and down the stairs, the front door opening, and then a long moment of talking voices, words she couldn't make out, before finally the front door closing (hopefully with Syaoran outside the house).
Then she waited, still sitting on her bed, and waited, and waited. Unsure of why she was hesitating, Syaoran was surely gone by now, and starting to feel rather silly about it, Sakura threw aside the covers and stood up. Only when she looked down did she realize she was still in her pink pajamas. There was a tingle of embarrassment before she managed to suppress it, remembering the wild costumes Tomoyo used to dress her up in back in her cardcaptor days. Pink pajamas were nothing compared to some of the things Tomoyo had made up.
No matter how bright a pink they were.
She changed quickly, glancing at her bedside clock as she did so. It was two in the afternoon and her rumbling stomach reminded her she had missed breakfast and lunch. She cursed Syaoran for the delay. Then she remembered what the real delay had been, felt her stomach roll, and decided that maybe she wasn't so terribly hungry after all.
She padded from her room and down the stairs, her footsteps silent due to her bare feet. There was low chatter coming from the kitchen, the heart of all homes, and immediately headed that way when the wafting smell of food beckoned.
Sakura walked into the room just as Kero rammed a forkful of cake into his mouth and her father turned from the counters with a plate of food in his hands.
"Dad! What are you doing at home this early?"
He gave her a wane smile as he set down the plate. She noticed Tomoyo and Yukito were already sitting down with plates in front of them.
"I thought it would be best if I was at home today. So I came home early." His smile faltered. "Something happened today?"
She hesitated. "Yes."
When she didn't elaborate, Fujitaka nodded with a tired smile, not noticing how Tomoyo and Yukito exchanged looks.
"I understand. But… Sakura… Touya… Touya isn't the first one this family has lost. I know you were a little too young to remember your mother but… It takes time, Sakura."
She nodded, her throat feeling too tight and dry.
"I know."
He cleared his throat as he turned around and flipped another sandwich off the grill. This time as he moved around the island with two plates in hand, he handed one to Sakura and moved to the table. She followed.
"So," Fujitaka started, something in his tone of voice that made her think she wasn't going to like what it was he was about to say. "Syaoran was leaving when I came back. What is he doing back in Japan?"
Kero's fork clattered onto the table, face growing red in outrage as he tried to swallow the massive amount of cake in his mouth in one gulp. Before he could get even a peep out, Sakura snatched him with one hand to be sure he couldn't say a thing.
"You know," Sakura grumbled into her late lunch, "that seems to be the million dollar question of the day."
--
When they'd finished off their lunches and helped clear off the table, Fujitaka must have noticed them exchanging meaningful glances at each other because he immediately announced he had some paperwork he should do and that he would be in his office if he was needed. As soon as he left the room, the informal and rather pitifully small meeting was ordered.
They sat around the table, Sakura, Yukito, and Tomoyo while Kero sat on the table and ploughed his way through the other half of the cake.
Meanwhile, Sakura fidgeted, opened her mouth to start, coughed, cleared her throat, fidgeted some more, and then started all over again.
Tomoyo waited patiently. Yukito watched her with that gentle understanding that only he could pull off.
"Perhaps we should have Syaoran here?" he asked gently.
She forced herself to stop fidgeting and smoothed her hands flat over the table.
"No. This started without him, we should continue it without him." She couldn't suppress the rather regretful sigh that came out next. "I should have done this a long time ago. We all need to talk. Really talk about this."
"Oh no," Kero started, waving the outstretched fork at her, "We won't have you going and blaming yourself for all this."
She shook her head. "It doesn't matter now. Right now we have to get all our facts straight. Syaoran already filled me in on what happened today in his perspective." She briefly related what Syaoran had told her earlier. "Is there anything else? Something anyone wants to add?"
Yukito had his brows furrowed.
"Yue wants to know what the illusion felt like."
"Well…" her head tilted as she thought, "It felt… real."
Kero nodded enthusiastically as he balanced the fork on the table, the sharp prongs pointed to the ceiling.
"Obviously we're dealing with powerful magic here. Just stop and think about the whole set up. This… thing… would have had to create a barrier strong enough that neither the kid nor I could knock it down, a materialized illusion that was physical enough for you to burn to ashes, and be able to maintain it all while everything was going on. And believe me, upholding such a strong barrier and manipulating such a solid illusion is no easy task."
"It seemed effortless," Tomoyo added quietly. "It wasn't paying any attention to us because it was confident that its barrier would keep us away."
Sakura frowned. "And it must have put me under some sort of trance. I don't remember walking into the kitchen."
Kero let out a low growl of frustration as he banged the end of the fork on the table.
"I just don't know what it is! I've never seen anything like this before."
Sakura turned to Yukito.
"Yue?"
Yukito shook his head.
Kero just heaved out another sigh.
"Have I ever told you what magic is, Sakura?" He didn't wait for a reply. "It's made up of living essences. That's how you do magic. It's an essence inside of you that you form and project. It's a living thing. The Void card was made up of negative energy, but even it never killed. With Touya…" He shook his head. "To kill with magic is… evil. Dark. It's black magic. Think of the essence this thing must possess if its will can be used to kill."
Sakura swallowed, trying to clear her throat of the ball of suddenly overwhelming sense of panic.
"So what are you trying to say, Kero? None of us know how to deal with this. It's all new to us. We've never seen anything like it before. Now what? Four years… I think -" she coughed. "We need someone new. Someone that knows magic and hasn't been… here. So they can think objectively."
Tomoyo scraped back her chair, about to get up.
"I can call Syaoran. He left me the number where -"
"That's not what I meant, Tomoyo," Sakura said gently, cutting her off before she could leave.
Tomoyo settled back into her chair with a soft sigh.
"I know."
Yukito nodded. "I think it's a good idea. And… Yue would like to see him again."
Sakura looked down at Kero who was thoughtfully chewing on more cake.
"What do you think, Kero?"
"I think we have nothing else to lose. Having him here would be a help."
Finally, she glanced at Tomoyo.
"Tomoyo?"
Her lips thinned. "What makes you think he'll come? Nearly a year after Syaoran left, he took off too. He never looked back, did he?"
Sakura began to tap her fingertip against the tabletop, the gears in her mind beginning to slowly turn and click things into place.
"What makes you think he didn't? Syaoran… We got cut off from each other. Maybe…"
"I thought you didn't believe Syaoran, Sakura."
"Well you believe Syaoran. Why do you doubt the possibility?"
Tomoyo pushed out of her chair, her hands on the table.
"Because I've talked to him."
Sakura's head snapped up.
"When was… How…" The sort of juvenile hurt that only came from special female friendships ached in her. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
Tomoyo's voice gentled as she reined back her temper. It had both the effect of sounding not just softer, but a little sad as well.
"It doesn't really matter anymore. Go ahead and phone him, Sakura. We'll need the help. And… and maybe you could get him to come back." She paused. "I couldn't."
Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other side
Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
--Pink Floyd
