Authors Note: Okie Dokie. This story came to me when I was in a rather depressed mood yesterday. So I'm sorry Deb and Anni that this isn't your happy fic that I had promised. But I am working on that and I swear on my popcorn that there will be no drama in that one.
Spoilers: Um every episode so far I guess. Just pretend like Timmy's been there the whole time. lol. But there will be spoilers for 'Going Under' soon.
Pairings: Speed/Calleigh
Disclaimer: I own the Speedle kids and anyone else you don't recognize. Everyone else belongs to the people at CBS.
For Love or Happyness
Marriage is a eight letter word. Your supposed to find that special someone, settle down, raise a family and grow old together. Some people find that and do that very same thing until they lose a loved one. Some people lose themselves half way through. They get tempted by a pretty girl in a short skirt or they simply stop loving eachother. But what do you do when the love is there but you just fall out of love? Can it be put back together? Can both participants be happy in the end? The children. Will they be ok? Your friends? What about them? These are all things you have to worry about when that one dreaded word comes into your mind. Like late at night after you've been tucked into bed after watching a horror movie and suddenly when your just about to drift off to sleep the girl from the exorcist walks down the stairs backwards and the girl from the ring drags her dead life like body out of the well, it hits you. Divorce. Its only a seven letter word, one letter short from being an eight letter word like marriage. So how can a word thats only seven letters mean so much?
Everyone new it, that one day Calleigh Duquesne and Tim Speedle would get married. Even Speed and Calleigh knew the moment they first laid eyes on eachother. There was never any doubt that they would grow old together, have kids, the dog, the house with a white picket fence. There was never any doubt that they would be the all American family. But what went wrong?
The sparks hadn't been there for a few months now but neither of them acknowledge it. They just simly brushed it off. You would think both people being in their mid thirties with three kids and being with the same person for 10 years would cause the fire that passion in a relationship to die out within five years. But not for the Speedles. Atleast not that quickly atleast. It was never a question of love they both loved eachother deeply. It was just a question of where did the spark go? Soon things began to unravel quickly. The fighting, sleeping in seperate rooms, staying at work late began to occur and frankly both Tim and Calleigh were scared. In the course of 10 years the only things they had fought about was what to have for dinner and could you please put your clothes in the hamper. Even when they fought about that minutes later they'd be in eachothers arms kissing. But when the pet names stopped and the kissing didn't start was when they both got worried. Tim would slam the study door and barry himself in his music and a book he had clearly read about 10 times. Calleigh would lock herself in the bedroom cuddle up with Tim's pillow and cry herself to sleep. Where did it all go wrong.
Tim starred into the scope looking at...something. Was it gum? Sticky tac? He had no idea and frankly he didn't care. What he did care about was his fight with his wife last night. It was there anniversary and they did anything and everything but celebrate. Tim had worked late last night knowing well that he had to be home by 4. Giving himself enough time to take a shower and change clothes before meeting Calleigh at the resturant she had clearly booked reservation for six months in advance. Dinner was at 6 he didn't show until 8:35. Not having his shower or change of clothes he went anyway. Finding that Calleigh had already left he dragged himself to his car and braced himself for what was to come.
He walked into the house Calleigh and himself had shared for 10 years along with their three kids and found it dark and gloomy. He could faintly hear sniffling coming from the couch and sighed a little to himself. He took off his bage and gun and sat it on the kitchen counter and then sat his keys down next to that. He walked into the living room and flipped the light on. Calleigh rolled over on the couch and covered her face but that didn't stop the sound of her sobs. Tim walked over to her slowly and sat down next to her, "Baby i'm sorry. I just couldn't break away." he said apologatically.
Calleigh sniffled a little and sat up, "But it...it was...ou-our anniversa...ry...Tim." she said, her voice catching from her sobs.
Tim's heart broke immediatley from the sound of her voice, "I know sweetie. I'm so sorry." he said as he wiped away her tears. Tim had expected for Calleigh to crawl into his lap not flench away. When she had he jumped a little.
"I don't think you are." she said, her voice suddenly starting to go back to her normal tone.
Tim looked at Calleigh with a mixture of confusion and shock, "Of course I am Calleigh. I know how important this day is for us and-"
"Important for us Tim or important for me?" she asked, raising her voice slightly. "You've never cared about anniversarys Tim. You'd always brush it aside like it was another day and that was that. For the past month in a half Tim all we've done was fight. And I thought that maybe with tonight we'd be ok. But you went and screwed it up again." Calleigh closed her eyes a little, she didn't want to place the blame all on him. And when Tim stood up she knew she was in trouble.
"I screwed up again?" he yelled. "Oh so all of this is my fault?" he asked.
Calleigh sighed, "I didn't mean it like that." she protested.
Tim laughed a little and shook his head, "Oh I think you did." he started. "I'm the guy in the relationship so I must not care about it right?" he asked.
"I don't think that Tim." Calleigh defended.
"No but thats what your thinking." he said, trying desperatly to keep his anger under control. "I mean god damn it Calleigh do you know what its like to have you constantly hovering over my shoulder every minute of every god damn day! Constantly following me around at work nagging me to get your trace analyzed! And then I come home from work and I want just five minutes of alone time and before I even take my badge off its "Tim run Emily to soccer practice" "Tim cook dinner" "Tim what color do you want to paint the living room. Emerald Green or Mint Green?" I don't fucking care what color you paint the damn living room Calleigh! Green is fucking green!"
Calleigh narrowed her eyes at him, "Will you keep your voice down?" she asked. "You'll wake up the kids."
Tim sighed heavily and ran a hand roughly through his dark brown curls, "What do you want me to do, Calleigh?" he asked. "Get down on my knees and beg for your forgivness. I got held up ok! I'm sorry!"
Emily and Jake Speedle had emerged from their bedroom and looked out over the loft that was above the living room. They could only see the top of their parents heads but they didn't have to see their face to know that there fight wasn't good. Jake was only 5 so he didn't really understand what was going on but Emily was 10 and she knew exactly what was going on.
Calleigh groaned a little and gave Tim a look, "No Timothy I don't want you to beg for forgivness I just want to be shown a little appreciation for once!" she yelled back. "To be acknowledged Tim. I just want everyother woman in the world to know that I'm Calleigh Speedle. To know that I'm yours. I just want you to see me!" she yelled.
Tim looked at Calleigh confused, "What do you mean "See you"?" he asked. "I see you Calleigh. Your standing right in front of me."
Calleigh shook her head, "No you don't." she said, her voice dropping down to a whisper. "Not how you used to. Tim we used to be able to take one look at eachother and not be able to keep our hands off eachother. We'd sneak home on our lunch break and instead of eating we'd make love. Whatever happend to kissing eachother until we were both red in the face from lack of oxygen?" she asked. "What happend to me waking up in the morning and find you starring back at me? Just...what happend Tim?" she asked, her eyes starting to fill up with tears again.
Tim sighed and took a step forward to wipe away her tears but Calleigh backed away again, "I don't think I'm in love with you anymore." she whispered.
Tim looked at her like he had just seen a ghost. All color had drained from his face and he swore he felt his heart drop down to the floor. He swallowed a few times and cleared his throat, "What do you mean you dont." he stopped himself and took a deep breath, "What do you mean you don't love me anymore?" he asked.
"I love you Tim." she said softly. "I'm just not in love with you." she said as she looked down at the ground. Emily and Jake looked at eachother and then back down at their parents.
Tim nodded a little and cleared his throat once more, "Then uh...what do...what do we do?" he asked.
Calleigh sighed heavily and looked back up at him, "I think we should get a divorce." she said simply.
TBC...
