Author Note: I DON'T DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS OR ITS CHARACTERS. I just like to play around in the universe and day-dream about elves and magic.
I was replaying DA:O for the hundreth time, and was reminded of something I'd pondered. Each of the Warden Origins were able to escape or survive their respective start and be recruited because of Duncan's presence/intervention, right? What if one or more of the potential Wardens were able to escape by their own means? What if someone else helped them? Or what if certain events happened slightly differently.
This is my attempt at one of those 'what if' scenarios.
"I'm sorry, Pup, I didn't see..."
" ..my fierce girl.."
"My heart is disquiet.."
"…my darling girl. you know that, don't you?"
"..pray for your safety every day.."
"..assistance in the coming days, I would be glad to offer it."
"Pup, you'll want to get an early night…"
"Those are Howe's men!"
"…look….after him…"
"I…won't survive the standing, I think."
"Our family..always does our duty first."
"I won't abandon you."
"Goodbye, my dar-"
"My lady!"
The hand on her shoulder was what woke her, but it was the words which brought her back completely from the nightmare. But she could still hear the echoes in the back of her mind, like the Chant she used to hear sometimes from the windows of the Chantry.
"My lady, are you alright?"
Elissa snapped back to the present, and blinked at the concerned eyes regarding her. His armour glinted in the faint moonlight, and she finally remembered that he had been next on watch after her.
"Yes" she said finally, her voice rougher and less steady than she meant to sound. Her chin came up, daring him to contradict her.
He did not. He merely looked at her for a few moments, then slowly nodded once. It was almost a bow, that nod.
Almost imperceptivity, Elissa's shoulders dropped, knowing exactly what the warrior had meant by his nod. He knew what she had been dreaming about, and he wanted to help, but could only offer. It would fall to her whether to accept, or continue alone.
"Thank you, Ser Gilmore, I'll be alright." She tried to smile, and hoped it appeared genuine, and not the deceptive mask it felt like.
Ser Gilmore nodded again, this time normally, and moved away, casting his eyes around as he resumed his watch.
Elissa ran a hand over her face, feeling her eyes ache for sleep, but she was still too shaken from the sounds and voices in her dreams to try again. Instead, she stood slowly and began pacing around the camp, stepping carefully around the slumbering forms of the others.
It wouldn't do to for others to lose sleep that night.
As she passed Arunn, the Mabari hound's ear twitched, and his eyes opened. His great head lifted and tilted as she heard a faint questioning whine.
She stopped and smiled at him, this time not feeling quiet so false. She reached down and gave him a quick scatch behind his small ear flaps, just where he liked it.
"It's okay, boy. It was just a bad dream. I'll be okay.."
The hound gave an almost inaudible huff of acceptance, and lay his head back down, shifting a touch closer to the small figure curled next to him. Elissa smiled down at the two, only briefly, before she moved on, and her smile slowly dropped.
When will smiling stop feeling like a pretense? Elissa thought to herself, arms wrapping around herself as she stared into the moonlit darkness. It had only been 5 days since they'd fled Highever, though it felt like months. At first, they moved quickly, trying to put as much distance between them and Howe's men as they could, hoping that in the chaos of the attack their disappearance wouldn't be noticed right away.
Finally, just the day before, they decided to make a small camp and rest, unable to maintain their grueling pace any longer.
While the break was needed, drained both physically and mentally they all were, the constant travelling had had one benefit...
A quiet whimper broke her concentration from the darkness around her, and she turned to see Arunn nosing gently at the trembling boy on the ground, pawing at the ground in distress.
While her own grief continued to claw deeper and deeper into her heart, there was at least one other person whose wellbeing came before her own.
She quickly knelt next to the boy, who had curled into himself while he slept, though he had started to shiver and twitch as his dreams darkened. Arunn whined softly again and tried to paw at him.
"No, Arunn, leave him." She said, voice just above a murmur. Still distressed, the mabari lay back down, his eyes darting between her and the miserable little figure.
Elissa gently grabbed the boy's shoulder, giving it a slight shake.
"Oren? Wake up. It's okay, its just a dream.." The words came out automatically, though she knew no one the people in the camp were 'okay' at the moment, least of all her nephew.
Oren didn't wake immediately, though when he did, tears were already falling down his face, though her was desperately trying to stop them.
Her heart broke into another piece at the sight. He should not have had to see something like that so young. No one deserves to see their mother killed in front of them, and most of all, not a child.
Barely 5 years old, and bereft of his mother. And who knew where his father was; they hadn't heard any news since Fergus had left for Ostagar. Elissa could only pray to the Maker that the stories of the Blight were just exaggerated; that the campaign was successful, and that everyone would soon be on their way back.
Oren's shoulders shook, as she pulled him to her, cradling him in her lap. His hands gripped at her leathers, pressing himself against her as if the closeness chased the demons of his dreams away. She lay her head against his, the quiet 'shh it's okay, you're safe's and 'I'm right here's she murmured seeming to help gradually soothe him, but as his grief and fear slowly dissipated, her own tears began to drip silently down her face.
As she held Oren to her, Elissa felt eyes on her; quiet prickle against her skin, so familiar by now that she already knew who was watching. But she knew Ser Gilmore wouldn't say anything. He was just doing his duty.
Elissa opened her eyes. Duty…
As far back as she could remember, her father had always said the same thing. "A Cousland always does their duty. It's our honour and burden, my dear.."
A Cousland always does their duty…what did that mean now?
Was it her duty to try to reclaim her family home on her own? To take her revenge on Howe? The man had been as close as an uncle for her entire life, his children her cousins, though the Arl did try to encourage more than friendship with at first Nathaniel and then Thomas.
Or was it her duty to help the King and secure the country, and trust that he would correct the great injustice done to her family and people? Her family…they'd always been loyal supporters of the Theirin royal rule, since Elethea Cousland knelt and swore fealty to King Calenhad.
Surely it was only right that King Cailan right the wrongs committed to several of his families' most loyal supporters? Once the darkspawn had been forced back into the deeproads, surely everything would be set right.
Oren stirred slightly, his small hands gripping even tighter as he was roused slightly from his exhausted doze.
"Auntie?" His voice was quiet and sleep-slurred.
"Yes, Oren?"
"Can…can I sleep like this tonight?"
An invisible hand came up to close her throat in a vice grip, just for a moment before she swallowed and could speak without choking.
"Of course." She shifted slightly, lying down on her side and lay Oren down next to her. Oren wriggled closer, curling into her. Gradually, his breathing evened out as sleep took hold, and Elissa lay still, her arms wrapped loosely around him. Her mabari lay down on the other side of him, enclosing the child protectively.
The sounds of the woods around the bedraggled group could only just be heard over the snores and soft puffs of breath. Elissa listened, her mind for once blank and quiet.
Anytime Oren stirred, or gave a quiet whimper as his dreams tried to pull him into the darkness, she would stroke his hair and hold him, and every time, he would calm, and the nightmares were kept at bay.
Duty. She wasn't sure what that meant in terms of justice for her family or loyalty to the crown and country.
But at least she was sure of this; nothing, nothing, would ever happen to the child resting against her. The oath she swore as a Scion of the Cousland family paled to the oath she'd sworn that night to a dying woman, a mother who trusted her to care for her child in her place.
That was her duty now. And the duty of the knights around her.
A Cousland always did their duty. And she would.
Oren would be safe. She would kill anyone who posed a threat to him.
And when there was no one left who threatened him, no one else who would try to take him from her…
Then, she would seek justice for her family. For her knights. For her home. For everyone who had lost something the night they'd fled Highever.
A Cousland always did their duty.
Post note:
I wasn't completely happy with this one, so i might end up going back into this and editing it.
What do you guys think?
I don't plan on it being a series, per se, but I have a list of things I want to write about with my...'Not-Warden'? Dunno what you'd call it lol. FCousland works, but meh..
Feedback and advice is welcome, ideas for other events with my scenario in mind would be nice too :)
People who have read/are reading/waiting for an update for 'FotT'...I am still writing it! I've just...hit a very solid brick wall, and then a million things happened and I forgot about it DX. Sorry :'(..
