Title: Arriere-pensee
Author: Genuinelie(s)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: No es mia.
Hints: Mamoru/Ken, drabblish short.
Would you date another guy, Ken?
What?
After I'm gone.
Gone where, Omi? Are you going to leave Weiss? Are you going to -
No, Ken. Not now, it's okay, don't worry. I just meant...
Silence.
I don't think there would be an "after you," Omi.
xxxxxx
Mamoru knew there had been. Ken didn't think he deserved anyone, and so attracted everyone.
He didn't know which of them wished Omi was dead more, him or Ken.
xxxxxx
...but what do you mean, Omi? Really? Do you think you're going to die? Do you want-
Ken! Forget I said anything
xxxxxx
Ken went to his gravesite on the days he was allowed parole. Parole he didn't think himself fit for, parole he didn't want. Mamoru didn't know why he bothered. He could visit memories well enough inside the prison.
He didn't know whether staring at a grave for someone who wasn't dead was supposed to convince him of the lie, or the truth.
Maybe they were the same.
xxxxxx
Is it Kritiker, Omi?
...what?
I know they want you to take over. It's what you've been trained for, isn't it?
Omi was silent.
I'll go with you.
Ken-kun...
I'll be your bodyguard.
Bodyguards die, Ken-kun. No.
xxxxxx
Mamoru picked up the phone a month after Ken was released, and still out of work.
"You said once you'd be my bodyguard."
"I said I'd be Omi's."
click.
xxxxxx
I want you to be happy, Ken-kun. Don't make promises you can't keep. I won't mind if you date someone else.
Omi...
I'm serious, Ken-kun.
xxxxxx
Mamoru visited a grave the next day, with a nameless Kritiker corpse inside of it.
He stood beside the man already there, and didn't say anything.
Neither of them moved.
"We need a trainer,"Mamoru said, finally, into the silence and the bugs his agents had placed beside them. "Why do you come here?"
The man beside him was silent, andMamoru turned his head. Ken was watching him intently, brown eyes glistening.
"I miss Omi." He said, finally.
It was silent in the graveyard.
xxxxxx
This isn't fair! Ken shouted. You did exist! Do exist! This is so stupid!
Mamoru was silent.
If you don't exist then none of this happened, got me? None of it matters.
xxxxxx
"...I miss Omi too." Mamoru finally whispered.
He turned to leave.
"I told Omi once that there would be no one after him." Ken called.
Mamoru stopped, and looked back, brown hair brushing over his eyes. "It's okay, Ken-kun," he said. "I remember."
"...but he's not really gone, is he?"
Mamoru paused, then started towards the car that was already pouring grey exhaust into the morning air.
Ken fell into step beside Mamoru.
"I'll work for you," Ken said.
"Omi's gone," Mamoru stated.
"There's been other people," Ken said, and his tone belied that he had meant it to hurt, if only a little.
A brief squeeze on his arm.
"You remind me of him," Ken said.
Mamoru faltered in his step, and shot Ken a glance. His face was wry.
"Maybe I lied to Omi," Ken said.
Mamoru took his hand. The bodyguards opened the door of the black sedan for him.
It was audible as Ken swallowed."Maybe-"
Mamoru smiled. "Ken-kun," he said, "I don't think Omi would mind." He let go of Ken's hand.
Ken studied his face. After a moment he nodded, once. And smiled back. It wasn't as bright as what he had once given to Omi, but it wasn't Omi that it was for. He got into the car.
Mamoru followed.
Somewhere inside of him, the memory of a boy smiled too.
