For Good or Bad, The Memories Remain.

Chapter 17

Disclaimer- I don't still own Buffy and crew, I just use them in my writing, just for fun, never for profit "Because that'd be wrong!"

Spoilers- mid 4th season then everything takes a left turn off the charted path

Rating- May get to R eventually

"Now, I make a few phone calls and try and get some of the loose ends fluttering around here tied down before they come completely unglued." She leans back into the chair she had slumped into.

"Sasha, I need you to do me a favor" She stretches a hand above the chair with a note in it for Sasha to take.

Sasha hadn't moved since Buffy began her speech. She had forgotten how engaging she found her. The tone in her voice brought back so many memories, things she hadn't thought about in so many years. She remembered waking up on that little rock pinnacle the morning after the fight, a throbbing in her chest. She remembered the little halting speech she gave about how she was Immortal. She had cried then, thinking of a long horrible life like the one she thought she had finally escaped from. She couldn't imagine another ten years living like she had, much less the concept of Immortality. Life had been hell, and she had purposely let her guard down in the fight hoping to end the torment. She thought she had finally bought piece with the last currency she could spend, her life. Not that she felt she owned herself. Her body was no longer hers; her Watcher kept reminding her about her debit to the Council and how she was such a tool to be aimed at their enemies. Her body had been already taken by her Watcher, to get her used to any and all possible evil methods. An exercise in escape he had called it, to try and keep pure in focus regardless of what was going on or being done around her. Later she realized it was just an excuse for releasing his pent up rages of lust and anger. She still bore some of the scars from his lessons, both physically and mentally. She remembers coming to and begging Elisabetha to kill her, give her peace. Elisabetha wouldn't hear of it. She didn't understand then, but in later years she thought she did. She figured it was a desire to allow her the chance to see what life was really like before she threw it away. Later she figured it was plain selfish meanness, because she had learned to read the signs that Elisabetha wanted to die, and was going to refuse her getting something she herself wasn't allowed due to a flaw in character. Over the years, she had been able to decipher quite a bit about "Buffy", but it always seemed when she thought she knew her, a new twist or wrinkle would surface to throw her for a loop. She wasn't sure why, but the little blonde would always end up angry around her. Maybe it was too much Slayer vibes, maybe it was the Immortal radar buzzing in her head, but after she had quit formally teaching her, Elisabetha would try to be away more and more. It was around this time Elisabetha's control started to slip. She had always impressed her with the ability to remain calm and focused during battle. Now she started to seem to lose control, sink into the chaos of battle a little too far a little too quickly. She remembered the look on her face when she ended up accidentally killing two villagers in one vamp nest they were dismantling. She shrugged it off as if it were nothing. It was then she knew she had to get away from Elisabetha, lest it cost her humanity. The things she heard about after she left were too horrible to contemplate, so she never bothered to even try and confirm. She did her best to move on. She would concentrate on the Slaying, and exercise her particular demons on bad Watchers to try and ease the burden on the poor mortal Slayers. She was still in this reflectance when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She looked up, right into the eyes of her one time friend, mentor, and teacher. Her eyes captivated her for a second; the raw anguish in them struck her like a physical blow.

"I said, could you take care of the things on this list, I have to take care of Willow."

"Sure Elisabetha, I'll take care of it."

To Be Continued

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