Thanks for all the reviews and inspiration. :D
Disclaimer:Harry Potter is not mine. But it's my right to refuse to write a funny disclaimer.
The Founding Of Pigwarts I – Recipe For Chaos
Chapter 3: Not here?
No other night had ever been this long for Draco. He almost wished to be rather in Azkaban than spend his time with three drunk Gryffindors. The idea of founding a new Wizarding School wasn't a bad idea, per se, and it was probably better than hearing Potty and Weasel wail about their miserable past without ever mentioning anything he could use to blackmail them later on, but even Granger was drunk, for crying out loud!
And it wasn't even funny, it was pure torture.
"We got a name, then," Ron suddenly slurred cutting through Harry's speech about the eating habits of his cousin Dudley, and everyone listening to it (which would be solely Draco) had to be ever grateful to him.
"Yes," Hermione started from her staring at the parchment and colourful lines appearing onto it.
"I guess we should decide the location next," she suggested.
"Not here?" Ron asked. Harry was not taking part of this conversation for he was still raving about Dudley, though in a fiery whisper now, fortunately.
"No. Because the School must symbolize a new beginning, a new peaceful era, and this place is more or less like a graveyard. A site of war. Something to be visited with respect and honour but let rest in peace."
Draco wondered how she could speak so eloquently and heartfully while pissed drunk, but perhaps people's behaviour during heavy inebriation varied greatly. He tried to remember what he had been like under such conditions, but all he could recall was the hell of a headache in the morning, and the taste of the helping potion.
Well, he could find it out now. Get drunk and in the morning read the log script. And hope that he would wake up before anyone else. It was not that Gryffindors would sink as low as blackmail, but it would still be pretty humiliating. Then again, he might be too drunk to take any notice of Potter's grand speeches. His current topic had moved far from Dudley into the debate of Cats vs Dogs.
"... you can throw cat out of the window and they should survive... except when they're Hermy's... then you wouldn't survive... not that I would ever throw a cat out of the window... but if I wanted... but I don't... I'm not cruel to animals... well, I was rather nasty to Nagini but that was simply because she was a Horcrux and I needed to destroy her... not her, but the one she served... the Big Bad Guy... in a way it was almost a self-defense... I am not an animal torturer, really..."
Hastily making his decision, Draco threw away his empty butterbeer bottle and grabbed a Firewhisky. After that, things did get better.
"We are not building Pigwarts in Greece!"
"Why not? I've always liked that country."
"Because we need a Wizarding School here, in England," she explained, managing to sound both patient and frustrated.
"London?"
"No, we need a countryside. Beautiful nature. Trees, hills, perhaps a lake, too. Freedom and space and green lawns."
"Sounds like the Manor," Draco said dreamily. That bottle of Firewhisky had really done him some good. And Hermione's words had painted a pleasant image of his home, on a sunny day in his childhood, when he had been happy and happily unaware of the world around him.
"Hermy?" Ron asked carefully. "You have that look again."
"What look?"
"That you have figured out something important but we are not going to like it."
"Well... I did get an idea," she admitted with a blush.
"And what's that?"
"We could... establish the school... in Malfoy Manor."
"NO!"
"Great idea!"
"... but dogs are loyal... though Crookshanks was loyal, too... and Mrs Norris, as well, I suppose... "
"I live there, I beg your pardon!"
"But it's only you, and the place is huge, as I've heard. And it would be good for you to donate it for such a noble cause. Really, it would help your reputation a lot. You know, all that Death Eater stuff... some people are still suspicious and all..."
"Let them be as suspicious as they want! I live there! My family has had that house for generations. I'm not giving it away however noble the cause might be."
"Please, Malfoy?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"No."
"Can't we take it away from the Ferret legally? Harry could pull some strings in the Ministry and..."
"What?" Draco exclaimed. He really didn't like that idea.
"Please, Draco."
The look she was giving him melted him right then and there. Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to get drunk after all. Because if she kept looking at him like that, he would soon promise her everything.
Remember, Draco, you're a bastard. Bastard. Act like a bastard. Call her Mudblood or something.
It didn't help.
"I don't..."
"We'll put up a statue in the front yard in your honour!" she cried out.
"A statue of a ferret!" Ron added joyfully.
"What?" Draco exclaimed again, in that same high-pitched girly voice that he only used when drunk with three drunk Gryffindors who suggested something he wasn't much fond of.
"Not a ferret," Hermione said quickly. "A dragon. Deal?"
And she held out her hand for him. After a few failed tries he took it, suppressing the feeling that he had just sold his soul to the Devil.
Oh well. The Devil should be on his side.
REVIEW! Or else... (evil grin)
