Banana splits and strawberry muffins to all those wonderful amazing awesome fantastic phenomenal people who cared to leave me a review. :) And those who read but didn't review.. well.. no banana splits or strawberry muffins to you. Aah, I can't be that cruel. Have some apple pie.
Something I forgot to mention in the last chapter - the idea of turning Colin into a squirrel is not mine, but belongs to my divine beta, Genetic Island.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter or a grape? Hmm, I think I'll take that grape. So now I have a grape, but no Harry Potter. I wonder, did I make the right choice?
The Founding Of Pigwarts I – Recipe For Chaos
Chapter 6: Headmaster and House-Elves
Draco was not very happy with the end result of their little deal. Then again, he was not very happy about having a Giant as a teacher either. Although, on the other hand, Hagrid had been not that much trouble at all, and this meant he would see Hermione flying a broom and playing Quidditch. Or at least trying to.
Perhaps it was the alcohol, but suddenly he was feeling pretty good. He was comfortable despite sitting in the middle of a great pile of fallen rock in the company of Potter and Weasley. Well, that was definitely because of the alcohol. Luckily for him, those too morons were too drunk to punch him.
He couldn't think too straight at the moment, but the fact that he didn't like those two and the feeling was mutual, was something burnt into his brain too strongly for any amount of Firewhisky to dissolve.
Granger, however, was a different matter. Especially with her lying across his lap once more, twirling his wand between her fingers and letting out coloured sparkles at random.
They had been quiet for a while already, each thinking their own thoughts, or at least minding their own business. His bottle of Firewhisky had been empty for some time now, but he couldn't reach for another from his current position, and was far too comfortable to move.
After all, he was lying under starry night sky, the mild breeze refreshing and caressing him, and a beautiful girl lying in his arms. What more could he hope for?
"Crazy, crazy, I am too lazy, will you, will you bring me a daisy, crazy, crazy, I am too lazy, will you, will you bring me a daisy, crazy, crazy, I am too lazy, will you, will you bring me a daisy, crazy, crazy..."
NO! Anything but that! Like Weasley singing was not enough, now he was singing something that felt like an endless song.
Oh, Merlin, HELP!
Merlin didn't help. But Harry, once again showing off his tendencies to play a hero and save somebody, although Draco couldn't think of it as a bad thing right now, did.
"Oranges or dolphins?" he asked out of the blue.
Ron took a few minutes to consider this.
"Oranges," he spoke at last. "Taste better."
"Your turn," Harry nudged him when he failed to form his own question.
"Erm..." Ron looked around helplessly. "Stars or... or.. or ferrets?"
Hermione burst into laugh. Draco scowled. She only laughed harder.
"Stars," Harry said firmly. "You?"
"Ditto. Hermy?"
She tried to control her giggles, and when she finally managed that, turned her face upwards to see him still frowning.
"I'm pretty happy with my ferret here."
And he could see stars in her eyes once again.
"Ewww!" Ron and Harry announced loudly, exchanging a glance that was not as meaningful as it wanted to be.
"Sheep or elephant?" Harry asked after a while, and the boys got caught up in their 'fascinating' new game, while Hermione and Draco continued doing what they had done before.
"Oh no!" she exclaimed suddenly, but quiet enough not to draw the others' attention.
"What?" he frowned.
"We forgot Ron. When we applied the teachers, we forgot Ron."
"So?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"So I suppose I can't be the Flying and Quidditch instructor any more. Too bad," she didn't even try to hide her delight about the situation.
"Oh no, Granger, you are not going to wriggle out of this one. You said before that you hoped to be able to convince some of your Gryffindor buddy to teach something instead of following a professional Quidditch career. Let me tell you, Granger, no sane person in the world would trade Quidditch for teaching. So you have no other option than make do with Weasley."
Her sly smile told him that she had noticed another option, and he was not going to like it.
"I know what Ron will do – he's going to be the Headmaster!" she stated happily.
"Weasley – the Headmaster? Do you know what you are talking about? Ruling over a school is a difficult and responsible job, it's not for dummies!"
She extracted herself quickly from his embrace and gave him an icy glare.
"I'll let you know that Ron is much more capable you could ever imagine. For once, he has great strategical and organizing skills, just what a good leader needs!" she defended her friend.
"Weasley? Ronald Weasley?" he sneered. "Are we talking about the same person here?"
Hermione had jumped to her feet.
"You don't know what you are talking about! Do you know who made all our battle plans? Who helped us train and prepare? Who thought up new tactics how better use our forces against Voldemort? What were you doing then? Running after your crazy Master and blowing innocent people to pieces!"
She expected him to get mad at her, to shout, to yell. But all he did was rise to his feet, a bit shakily thought, and answer her glare.
Hermione didn't know how long they had been standing there like that, although her feet were getting a bit tired, and she had to lean onto the stone beside her, when Harry and Ron finally noticed their friend's (and enemy's) positions.
If they had been sober, or at least less drunk, they would have jumped to her defense and told Malfoy to get lost.
Now they simply had the insolence to shake their heads at them, and look at them as if they were naughty children. Which was really too much, since it was them who usually behaved like that.
"Now, now," Harry shook his finger at them. "No fighting in corridors, or you get both detention."
"Yeah," Ron agreed, talking with utmost seriousness. "Be good kids now – kiss and make up."
And that they did. Literally.
This time Ron didn't make a face or noise of disgust. Instead he watched with curiosity and something else.
"Nobody kisses me," he complained at last.
Harry looked at his friend's miserable expression, then to Hermione and Draco still kissing, back to Ron again, trying to reach a decision.
After a while he gave up thinking, shrugged, and gave Ron a sloppy kiss on his lips.
---
"I'll agree with Weasley being the Headmaster on one condition," Draco said with a smirk, after they had pulled apart and sat down again, his arms around her.
"What condition?" she asked, shooting green sparks from his wand and making them form a spiral.
"We use House-Elves."
"All right," she agreed quickly, to his great surprise. "On one condition."
"Yes, I already said I'd welcome Weasley as the Headmaster."
"Not that."
"Then what?" he inquired. "We can pay them and give them free days if you really want it."
"Yes, of course. But that's not what I want."
"What do you want then?"
"I want to kiss you again," she said, and proceeded to do just that.
"I guess I can live with that," he smiled.
"You better," she teased. "But that was not my condition. I want people to appreciate House-Elves, to respect them for what they do, to understand their hard work and treat them nicely."
"You want to make SPEW into an obligatory subject?"
"Kind of. I want every student to spend some days doing the elves' work with them. I want them to do it without a wand or magic. I want them to cook, and clean, and do the dishes. I want them all to do it until they learn to treat the House-Elves with respect."
"On one condition, Granger."
"What's that?"
"Kiss me."
She did.
"That's all?" she sounded surprised. "You agree that easily?"
"You're worth it."
Besides, Draco thought, that sounded exactly like having detentions. I suppose I should give out a lot of them to make her happy. Suits me fine.
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Or I'll haunt your dreams with that my very own endless song made specifically to annoy people and drive them insane. Crazy, crazy, I am too lazy, will you, will you give me that daisy, crazy, crazy... (evil grin)
