Five Fives

Five Regrets

by Nezuko, Prince of Rats

This is a work of derivative fiction based on the manga "Naruto" by Kishimoto Masashi. The characters and the world in which they live are the property of Kishimoto-sensei.

AN: These were done as part of the "List of Five" meme.

Five Regrets: Five things Genma would do differently if he could have.

• It's hard to pick the key moment that would have changed everything. Genma thinks maybe it was when he chose to block with his kunai rather than dodge. But maybe it was when he chose not to carry a katana on that mission. Or maybe it was when he let Raidou talk him into taking rear guard when he usually took point. In any event, if he could change it, he'd go back to that mission and he wouldn't have gotten his arm skewered. Then he wouldn't have been out on a medical when Raidou took that mission with Takeshi, and he'd have gone in the rookie's place. Then maybe Takeshi would still be bugging him for dating advice, and Raidou wouldn't look ten times in the mirror every night at a face he could no longer stand.

• Another hard call is whether there would have been anything Genma could have done to prevent Seijuro's death. He knows that when he flipped that interrogator off, it sealed his fate, so maybe that was the moment. If only the other ANBU team had arrived just ten minutes sooner, then the only ones dead would have been the Stone ninja. But they hadn't, and the interrogator had broken another one of Genma's fingers and demanded that he choose: Seijuro, his friend and comrade, or Taisei, a crazy kid he'd only known for two days--which should she kill? And Genma had refused to choose.

But he doesn't think he could live with himself if he had.

• The day Genma's sisters, Yumiko and Haruko, died, had started like any other. He'd spent the night at home that night, because Haruko had begged him and he couldn't refuse her. So that morning he was dressed in ANBU gear, and Yumiko had given him a baleful look and made some cutting remark. And they'd fought. Genma can't even remember what about. But he knows the last thing his older sister said to him was, "I don't want to be the medic that does your autopsy when you get your idiot self killed." And Genma's last words to her had been, "Hah, that's a laugh, I'll outlive you!"

Every time he lights incense for Yumiko now, he tells her, "I'm sorry, oneesan, I didn't mean for it to be true."

• That day holds more than one regret for Genma. It holds more than one regret for most people in Konoha, so in that he's not alone. But one more thing he wishes he'd done differently is this: When the alarm sounded and the demon Fox was near, Genma wishes he'd broken ranks and run home, or gotten someone to do it for him, and made sure Haruko got moved to a safe buker. She must have been terrified, he thinks, alone in the house and unable to run to safety because of her crippled legs. He can only hope that the fire that burned her to ash and bone was so swift and hot she never had time to feel it.

• Genma's freshest regret is Heigen. He's gone over that mission so many times he gets sick just thinking about it, but he still comes back to the same point: When he and Raidou and Ono were in that grungy little hotel room together, planning their assault on Heigen's daimyou's castle, he should have paid more attention to Ono's jitters. He should have pressed the kid to find out what was wrong, and not just assumed it was mission nerves. He should have noticed it was worse than that, and he should have forced that traitorous little bastard to spill it before he went off onto that deathtrap Ono had set up for him and Raidou.

Maybe, he thinks, if he'd somehow gotten Ono to confess, they could have saved him and his son, somehow. Or maybe he and Raidou would have killed Ono for his betrayal. Either way, if they'd known it was a trap, they'd never have gone in.

Genma was mission leader at Heigen. So it all comes down to this: If he'd done his job properly and recognized Ono's treachery, then Raidou and he wouldn't have gotten hurt. And his nightmares about Taisei and interrogators and splintering bones in his hands wouldn't have Raidou in them now, too.


The "history" here is based on Genma as I play him in Scarlet Spiral, an RPG set in ANBU nine years before the start of the manga. The missions and characters referred to here can be seen there. I encourage you to check it out. There's a link in my Author Profile.