A/N: Set after 4x14.
"I'm pregnant."
The words tumble past her dry lips in a whisper, something heavy caught in her throat. It feels like someone has punched the air out of her lungs, has turned her world upside down, and is playing a cruel joke on her. But it's true.
She's late. More than late, really, but she'd chalked it up to how hectic her life has been recently with Peter running for governor and her being in court all the time.
But it's been more than eight weeks now, and she feels it in her heart, that something's different.
"It's yours," she adds, her vocal chords feeling awfully tight. "That night in the office..."
Will knows exactly what Alicia is talking about. The sexual tension between them had been sizzling all day while they had competed in court. The screaming match that had followed in her office long after everyone else had gone home had ended with them kissing furiously, setting whatever they had tried so hard to leave in the past ablaze. And it had been a forest fire, uncontrollable and burning everything to the ground as Will had hiked her skirt up while she'd undone his belt. Then they had fucked, hard and fast, on Alicia's desk.
They'd tried to ignore it, of course they had, but this wasn't something she could hide from Will. Alicia sees confusion, realisation, hope, excitement and fear all flicker across Will's face in a millisecond as he absorbs the news.
"Did you have it confirmed by a doctor?" Will asks, his voice a little breathless.
"Yes. I had it confirmed this morning before I came in. The test I took at home was old and I didn't think it was too reliable. So I asked my GP about it and he said I should come in." Alicia shrugs minutely. The news still hasn't fully settled in but talking about it makes it more real.
Will simply nods, and she has to give it to him: he looks pretty calm for someone who's just been told that he's expecting a baby with the wife of the SA who's running for governor, and that he's her boss and she's an employee.
Will takes a big gulp from his scotch and only winces slightly. He turns his back towards her to stare at the sun setting behind the skyscrapers of Chicago, and Alicia knows it's because he needs a moment to process the news.
"How do you feel about it?"
Of course, he'd only think about her. It hurts, his calm reaction. She could deal with raised voices and doors slamming shut, but that is Peter, not Will.
"I'm freaking out," she whispers. ('I'm terrified', is what she thinks.)
Will nods and he doesn't move for a long while. Alicia is certain he's already three steps ahead of her. When he turns around again and sits down next to her on the couch, there is longing and barely concealed yearning in his soft gaze.
"What are we going to do?" he asks, unassuming.
"Will, we can't possibly– we can't." Alicia whispers, a hint of panic in her voice.
"I know. I know. God, I know," he assures her. His eyes spin around the room aimlessly before they settle on Alicia's face, holding her gaze firmly. "But can't we at least talk about it?"
"What's there to talk about? God. Will. I'm married."
"You're pregnant, Alicia."
That seems to stop her dead in her tracks, like someone's poured a bucket of ice water down her back and her hazel eyes are suddenly wet and stormy.
"God, I know. How could we be so irresponsible?"
Will groans and let's his head sink back against the couch. "Fuck, Alicia, I don't know. But what's done is done, right? We'll figure something out, just you and me–"
"We can't–" she interjects. "Peter's running for governor and Grace and Zach would be mortified. Shit, I'm embarrassed we're even in this mess."
Will shakes his head bitterly and stands up to refill his glass. Alicia sees his jaw set, muscles locking. She wishes she didn't have to keep reminding him of their reality but she does. Will has always put her needs before his own, regardless of the consequences. She knew it at Georgetown and last year when she ended their brief affair and she also knows it now.
"You can't even entertain the idea?" he asks. "Because it's my baby or because the prim and proper Alicia would never cheat?"
"Will. That's not fair."
"No. But I'm sick of everyone mattering more than us." Will barely conceals the bitterness in his voice and Alicia shrinks back, hurt by his blunt words. He sighs, and leans against his desk. "It's not just us anymore," he reminds her gently. "We should talk about what this means for us. But not tonight, you're tired and we need to be up early."
"Will– I'm sorry."
"No need to apologise. But we both need to deal with this news properly before we make any rash decisions."
Alicia swallows repeatedly against the lump in her throat and the rising panic in every cell of her body. Will is right, they both need to digest the news before they can discuss options. The only problem is that the only solution Alicia sees is to give up the baby.
"You're right. It's been a long day." Alicia grabs her coat as she stands up and straightens her skirt, briefly reminded of a memory where she did the same thing after she had come repeatedly in Will's secure arms. God, how did she let it get this far, this messy?
"We'll talk tomorrow. Get some rest," Will instructs her. His eyes are fixated on Alicia's grey skirt and how it fits around her midsection.
"I will." Alicia whispers. She feels his gaze on her, warm and gentle and right, and she's reminded of why they're here in the first place. "Good night," she says instead.
"Good night, Alicia."
