Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me. All I own is books and nobody takes those. Nothing to get here.

A/N1: Let me see if I can get this straight on paper. When I went away to uni, I changed, personality wise, but when I was back home I acted the same around old friends, which really irritated me at the time. So that is the impetus for this story. Imagining what Sara's friends from San Francisco would think if they saw her in Vegas. And I am not too happy with the way her character is progressing on the show. She manages to make something of her life after her beginnings but is too weak to deal with it later? Please! Give the girl a break and let her grow. And get over Grissom. Just a minor wish.

I am not exactly sure where to put this. The seasons are all jumbled here in Germany, but I have a vague memory in which Sara is pulled off a case and puts up a fight. Catherine's reaction is what is in the text below. At the time I found it unnecessarily harsh. If someone could tell me what episode it was I would be grateful, but this is definitely AU from then on.

In case somebody wants an idea for musical underscoring, go with Chariot by Gavin DeGraw. That's what I listen to when I'm writing at the moment. That or anything by Snow Patrol. Great Album.

A.N.2: I changed a couple of things in this chapter to make it fit in better with True to your heart. This fic brackets that story. You don't have to have read the other one, but it helps.

Home truths.

It had been a long day, Sara reflected. A very long day. Cases to do with battery and abuse always got to her more than most. It did not help when her superior, the high and mighty Grissom pulled her off the case and sent her packing to deal with a minor breaking and entering. That had galled. What had gotten to her more though, was the comment she had just managed to hear while leaving.

Grissom sighed: "You think I was too tough?"

Catherine scoffed: "Not tough enough. She has to learn that the almighty Sidle can not pick and chose as she sees fit. Needs to be taken down a peg or two."

Sara had stopped listening at that point, refusing to let anybody see how Catherine's words had struck her. Crying in public was not an option, as was going back in and calling her on it. Sara had learned a long time ago that showing your emotions rarely helped and often only made things worse. Showing a bully that they got to you was a sure-fire way to get them to torment you more. Not that Catherine was anywhere near the bullies Sara had met while in the system in San Francisco. Those could have made Hitler look like a kindergarten teacher when it came to emotional and physical torment.

Catherine had no idea what she was talking about. There was reason for Sara to be passionate about certain types of crime, the one's that hit too close to home. The one's that reminded her what could have been. The one's that reminded her why she had become a CSI in the first place. Why she had decided that if she could do nothing to prevent these things from happening, at least she could find out the how and the why and maybe prevent an again.

Not that anybody ever asked her why some things got to her when others didn't. Nobody seemed to care enough. Only judgements were made.

"It is not up to you to decide which case you can take."

"Geez, Sara. Lighten up."

"Why are you such a workaholic?"

"You're making the rest of us look bad."

"You're just a replacement. If Holly hadn't died you wouldn't even be here."

That grated the most. Nothing she had done over the last two years seemed to count for these people. She doubted anybody but Grissom knew where she lived. And he would have to check his files. Anyone new to the lab would think she had only transferred the month before. In fact that had happened. A police officer from Reno had been at the lab for a week, observing procedure. During one particularly fraught case he had told her quite kindly that 'once you've been in Vegas longer these things won't get to you as much.' He had been genuinely, and in Sara's eyes sadly, surprised to learn that she had been there for a lot longer than a month.

Shaking off her dismal thoughts, Sara squared her shoulders ad waltzed into break room. Pasting a light-hearted grin on her face, she plopped down on the sofa next to Warrick, managing not to flinch when the CSI slid ever so slightly away from her. Swallowing yet another sigh, Sara turned to face him and began the usual banter, concerning how the case went. After five minutes of listening to Warrick brag how well he had done and figured things out way before Nick (There was another man seriously misunderstood, Sara mused to herself), she felt able to stand up and announce that she was calling it a night, or more likely a day as it were.

"You know what? I'm going to head home. Congratulations on your case, Warrick."

Warrick absentmindedly waved a hand, then collected himself: "Oh yeah, how did yours go? Homicide wasn't it?"

'A particularly awful triple homicide, if you must know, with almost no clues to speak of solved in record time.' That's what she thought, what came out of her mouth however was more like: "Yeah. Went well. Suspect's confessing down the hall right now."

"Good, good. Then I'll see you tomorrow night." Warrick was already zoning over to whatever he thought about.

Sara smirked to herself. "Actually you won't. I'm taking a couple of days off. Get rid of my overtime."

Warrick sat up straight. "You're taking days off. You never do that."

'Yeah, like you'd know. My life has never interested you, before why should it now.' Again only thoughts.

"Yes I do. Two, three days every month." Sara managed to paste a smile on her face even while she said it.

Warrick smirked. "Oh is it that time of the month again?" He sniggered, clearly pleased with himself.

Sara grimaced - on the inside of course -, said nothing and made her way to the exit, her car and finally, finally home.

The sun was just coming up when Sara pulled into her driveway. All of a sudden, tiredness seemed to sweep her body, making getting out of the car seem like way to much effort. A tap on her window had her jumping up with a start. Turning her head, she saw Miss Maxine from across the road. For the first time that day a genuine smile came over her. Rolling down her window, she said: "Good morning Miss Maxine. You're up early."

Miss Maxine smiled. "Well, sweetie. I just couldn't sleep anymore. You know today my granddaughter graduates. I'm just much too excited."

"Of course. Had slipped my mind. And how did Jasmine do?"

" In the top ten percent.. She is so pleased. Who would have thought things would turn out this way?"

Sara smiled again. "Jasmine's a fighter and she's got you. What more do you need?"

Miss Maxine blushed. "So sweet of you to say that. We couldn't have done it without you. Now don't you forget that this afternoon we are going to have a small glass of champagne to celebrate."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. Give Jasmine my love, will you."

"Of course, now you go off and rest. Must have been a long night for you."

"Yes, it was. I'll see you this afternoon."

Giving Miss Maxine a last smile and wave, Sara let herself into her house. On the way to the kitchen she pushed the button on the answering machine.

Beep

You have six new messages

Beep

"Hi, Ryan here. Call me back."

Beep

"Sara! Phone Ryan right now."

Beep

"Marie again. Sorry for yelling. Forgot you were at work. Phone us."

Beep

"My wife's crazy. You know that, right?"

Beep

"Auntie Sara? Please phone Mummy."

'Emotional blackmail,' Sara mused. 'Marie learned fast.'

Beep

"Emotional blackmail. Haha! I learn fast. Phone me when you get in. We have to talk travel plans."

Beep

End of messages

"Travel plans," Sara though out loud. "will have to wait until I've had some sleep."

Several comatose hours later, Sara stumbled out of bed. A long shower took her a long way towards feeling human again, as did the first cup of coffee that day. She finally felt ready to face Marie and consorten.

"Hello, Samuel's residence. Marie speaking."

Sara smiled to herself and couldn't resist just the smallest jab.

"Residence, is it? When did you become so snobby?"

Since you left you feckless slob." Marie laughed. "I've missed you. Visits just aren't enough. And the last one was almost six months ago. When will we see you again?"

Sara sighed. "I don't know when I can leave here. There's so much work."

"Come on! Dead bodies don't run away. So it takes somebody else a little while longer to find the suspect. Big deal. You need a break."

"You know why I can't do that."

"I know." A sigh echoed down the line. "You know one day you are going to have to start getting over that." Marie's voice was gentle.

"Well, until then I just go along as before, right?"

"Well, not quite. Which is why we are visiting. I want to see this place you work in, plus Ryan's really hot on the slots and the strippers. Not that he will get within ten feet of the latter. But I let him dream."

The two friends shared a laugh. After all, dreaming was allowed.

"You know that when you come, I may not have a lot of time for you guys."

"Yeah, right. Like you can resist the emotional blackmail of one Susie Samuels. Stronger people have tried and failed. The power of the pout is unparalleled."

"Maybe we should hire her to get confessions from the suspects. Bet they'd never see that one coming."

"Don't I know it. Fiend of the candy aisle she is. So I was thinking next month? That okay with you? I know you take a couple of days off so just make sure that it when we come. And then I wont have to sic Susie on you."

"Threats. Nothing but threats. But yeah that sounds good. Will give me time to finish unpacking the guestroom."

Marie's voice took on a worried tone. "You still haven't finished? Sweetie, you've been there two years."

"Yeah, I know. But never seemed to have the time. And you know I don't really have time when I go off for a couple of days either."

"How is the program going anyway?"

"Well, kinda slow, it's hard to get the right people together, but on the plus side Jasmine is graduating today."

"Oh good for her. She was one of the first, wasn't she?"

"Yeah, I'm really proud. Pity I can't make the ceremony. But I have a couple of appointments."

They drifted off into small talk, finalising the plans for Marie's family's visit and then hung up with many fond farewells. On a whole it did more to relax Sara than anything else she could have planned.