9 – Choice


"I'm really sorry about this, Harry." Detective Nick Burkhardt told him, voice apologetic and eyes troubled.

"It's fine. Monroe and Rosalee are always welcome here."

The Grimm ran a hand through his hair; "It's not fine. We are puting you in danger." He walked back and forth in Harry's small living room with a tense, barely restrained force - like a caged tiger. "Maybe Hank…"

"No."

The man blinked an turned to the wizard; "It's not that I don't appreciate it. But Hank is a cop – he doesn't know about Wesen and any of this, but maybe if I told him-"

"Detective." Harry's voice was hard. He was done humouring the man. It wasn't that he didn't respect Nick - from all that he had seen and heard of the man, he liked him. He was a good man, a good police officer and a good Grimm – one who didn't kill indiscriminately, one who understood the concept of live and let live, one who didn't judge and didn't hurt people needlessly. But he was also crossing a line that Harry was rather sensitive about. "Monroe and Rosalee can stay here. With me."

The detective shook his head; "I cannot ask you-"

But Harry interrupted him again; "This isn't your decision. It's mine. And what you cannot do is tell me what choice to make."

Nick didn't immediately protest again. No, the man studied him – took in his stance, his eyes, his calm but firm voice. And Harry could tell that this man saw him. Listened to his words seriously.

And despite, or maybe because of, Harry's immense dislike of people trying to protect him for his own good, that made his respect for the guy raise just a notch higher. Because most of them had never even tried to see him, hadn't wanted to listen to the words of a teenage boy – even though he was a rather central part of the situation.

"I thought you didn't want to get involved with any of this. I thought you didn't want to be a Grimm." Nick said – but there was no accusation there, just a careful statement, almost a test.

"I am who I am, whether that is a Grimm or not has nothing to do with this." Harry said firmly. "If my friends are in danger, I will help them."

But Nick was more than a Grimm, he was a police detective and he had to do his best to protect Harry, if he could; "This could be dangerous - you could get hurt."

And what Harry wanted to say was that he wasn't a child, that he was, perhaps, far more aware than the older detective of the costs, of the pain that came from getting involved, from starting to care. He could have told the man that he had been in a war, that he had seen and done things that would give even a Grimm nightmares – he could have said any of this, but he doubted it would make this situation any better.

"I know." Was all that came from his mouth – softly spoken, but without the slightest hint of doubt. Because Harry did know, perhaps better than anyone. But he had already promised Monroe safety in his home. And if they got hurt without his help – because of him… No, no matter what Nick said, this way would be far less painful than that.

Detective Burkhardt looked at him a moment longer - and there was still guilt and a need to protect all of them warring with understanding on his face. So the wizard almost sighed in relief when, finally, the man nodded.

The detective left – to pick up Monroe and Rosalee from his trailer, where he had left them to research the current threat. And Harry was left to ponder the fearful guilt in the man's eyes.

He knew those feelings, knew them well. But he also knew that everyone made their own choices. His friends had chosen to stand by his side – Hermione, Ron, the members of their DA study group. Even Sirius had made his own choice, in coming to save him.

It had taken him a long, long time to come to terms with it and quite a few arguments with Ron and Hermione. As his friends had so vehemently pointed out – this was their life, their world and their war too. It didn't matter that Voldemort hunted them because of Harry.

Because, even without him they still would have fought.

As Ron had so aptly put it; "Blimy Harry, don't you get it! This isn't about you, it's about all of us. Do you really think that if we weren't your friends, that we wouldn't have been a part of this war? That Hermione as muggle-born wouldn't have been a bloody target? That we wouldn't stand up and fight either way? We want to fight. Hell, mate, we need to do this. You're not the only one with a right to fight for the people you care about, you know. We have just as much to fight for as you do."

And with Ron standing before him, a true Gryffindor in every sense of the world, Harry hadn't been able to deny it. Because hadn't they earned the right to make that choice? To stand up for what they believed in like Harry did? Could he really ask them to step aside, to not help him because he was afraid that they would get hurt?

How could he ask that - when he would never hesitate to rush forward to save them, no matter the danger, every single time.

And it didn't make it hurt any less, didn't make the guilt fully go away – to know that this was their choice, their own choice to make. The pain, the fear, the loss, the guilt and the what-if's were all still there.

Nothing would ever change that.

He wondered if, these days, Ron held that same painful guilt in his eyes.


(Word Count: 1000)