Eloped


"LET ME GO! LET ME GO!"

The rhino's lope jarred Katara's stomach as she struggled against her bindings, kicking. The rough sack over her head didn't let her see anything, but she knew by the warm summer sun on her back that it was still early afternoon, just one week away from her wedding day.

She focused, trying to remember what had happened. The last thing she remembered was walking through the palace, looking for Zuko so she could get his opinion on the cards for each of the place settings. Someone had grabbed her, and she remembered smelling ether…

And then she had found herself slung over a galloping rhino's saddle on her stomach. She knew it was a rhino by the distinct stench.

An unladylike belch erupted from her mouth. Oh no…

"Stop! Please stop! I think I'm going to throw up!" She cried out. The last thing she wanted to do was fill the sack with her head still in it.

The beast came to a sudden halt. Her captor roughly grabbed her off the saddle and set her on her feet, quickly untying the twine at her neck and pulling the bag off her head.

She doubled over and barfed. It was particularly uncomfortable doing it with her hands tied behind her. She coughed up the morning's breakfast and spat, looking up wearily. Her captor handed her a water skin.

"Drink," he said gruffly. She eyed the precious fluid, trying to think of a way to bend it without the use of her hands. She looked into her kidnapper's face once more, then realized something.

"Why… Why are you wearing a mask?" She asked stupidly.

"Drink," he repeated, and he pushed the water skin to her lips and squirted some of the sweet liquid in her mouth. Katara sputtered, but proceeded to rinse her bile-flavoured tongue then took long draughts, swallowing the cool liquid down. When she was done, she stood up once more.

"I…"

The drug in the water made her sleep the rest of the way.


When she awoke, she was lying on a thin mattress in a cool room. The late afternoon sun filtered down through a thin veil of red silk. Katara groaned, her head throbbing, a stale film coating her mouth. Her hands and feet had been unbound and she slowly sat up, getting her bearings.

She was sitting in a large four-poster canopy bed. It wasn't anything opulent – the silk curtain seemed to have been added on as an afterthought, hastily tied to the tall bedposts. She checked herself for injuries, found none, and tentatively drew back the curtain.

The small room was sparsely furnished. A Fire Nation emblem hung on one wall. Well, at least I'm still in the Fire Nation, she thought. A single door in and out of the bedroom stood ajar. She looked about, hearing nothing but the chirp of birds beyond the stone walls and glass window panes. No one was around to stop her from exiting.

Katara slipped through the door, wincing at the loud creak it made. As she looked about, she realized she was in a small chapel paved with smooth, cool slate. The pews were entirely unoccupied except…

That mask.

"I see yer'wake," the gruff voice said.

"Who are you? What do you want?" She demanded, getting into a defensive stance. She wished she had her water skin, but it appeared her kidnapper had taken pains to remove all traces of bendable liquid from the premises. She couldn't sense a single drop of water in the flower vases adorning the corners.

The man in the blue and white mask leaned back, languishing. "Why, I'm yer saviour. I just saved you from a fate worse than death."

"What? What are you talking about?" She said, slowly edging towards the centre aisle. Her eyes quickly scanned the room for another exit, but the only one was straight up that path, currently flanked by her assailant.

"Marriage," the man said. "To that no good Fire Nation scum they call a prince."

Katara spluttered. "Zuko's a good man and a fine Fire Lord," she corrected him. "I love him!"

"Yer young yet," the man got up and approached her. "You can't know what true love is. I bet you've never even been with another man."

Katara backed away, not liking where this conversation was going. "I have my honour, and I am saving it for Zuko alone."

"Stubborn girl," he chuckled. "If I can't show you the pleasures of other men, maybe I should show you the folly of marrying a despicable, ugly murderer."

The Waterbender stood in shock, anger rising from the pit of her stomach. "How dare you! Who do you think you are to say these things? Zuko is the most honourable man I know. He has never killed without reason. He has no faults that I do not love or cannot live with, and he will always be the only one for me!"

"But he has faults," the man pointed out. "Tell me, what will happen when you are full with your first baby, swollen and untakeable, when the Fire Lord's lust arises? Ozai had a harem for such occasions. Would you tell the Fire Lord to dismiss his sire's collection of strumpets and painted women?"

Katara felt her face heat. "He… I trust him to make the right and honourable decision. What he does with the hougong is not my business."

"Not your business? You're about to become his wife – the Fire Lady born of water! Everything your husband-to-be puts his grubby little hands in will stain and soil your hands as well, from blood to other bodily fluids." She could near the sneer in his voice. "Don't tell me you've never thought about the privileges of the bedroom the Fire Lord can afford. The Fire Lady has access to them, too."

"I'm NOT interested. Who are you? What do you want?" Katara repeated angrily. "And where did you get that mask?" It was irking her just a little that her captor had insisted on wearing the same mask she was giving out as bonbonniers at the wedding. She would have to speak with the merchant to see how many he had sold in the past half a year; she didn't want to give out mass-produced crap, after all.

"I told you. I'm yer savior. I came to rescue you, and I have, but only you have the ability to free yourself." He said, completely ignoring her latter question. He pulled a pack from the pews and tossed it at her feet. "In there you'll find food and money enough to get you to the next port town. Use the money to buy passage on a ship bound for the South Pole. And don't come back."

Katara growled and kicked the pack back at him. "The only thing I'm going to do is walk back to the palace, get the guards, my brother, the Avatar, and my newly wed husband to come and kick your ass up and down the coast of the Fire Nation until you can talk to the spirits. And then I'm going to freeze you in a solid block of ice and let you float off to some godforsaken field of icebergs so the penguins can peck your eyeballs out!"

The man stood affronted. "Colourful," he said stiffly. "But that's not the answer I'm looking for." He pulled a broadsword from the sheath on his back and advanced on her. "Now listen carefully. I'm giving you a chance to runaway with your life, to go home to your family and your tribe, to make a life for yourself. One without sorrow or pain. You don't belong in the Fire Nation. You're of the Water Tribe. Your pitiful excuse for a husband will lose interest in you once you start having children. The Fire Nation people will not accept you as their Queen, and your children will be considered abominations. You will live out the rest of your life as a bird in a gilded cage and you will be miserable. Now's the time to escape, before it's too late."

Katara stared at her captor, catching her wide-eyed reflection on the shining blade glinting menacingly in the wan filtered sunlight. She put her hands obstinately on her hips.

"Listen you. I didn't spend the last eight months planning out this wedding just so I could run away."

"Is that all you care about then? The trappings of a royal gala ball?" The man asked snidely.

"Of course not. I love Zuko. I fought my brother, my father, my grandmother, my teacher, and even my best friend on my decision to marry him, and I won. I even fought a little flying lemur on it!" She cried. "The world was against us, but they can't stop love."

The masked man gazed at her thoughtfully.

"That is perhaps the cheesiest thing I have ever heard," the man chortled after a long pause. "What could this Zuko possibly possess that would make you want to stay with him?"

Katara smiled.

"Honour. Kindness. Compassion. He can play the Sungi horn. He's athletic. He's a powerful bender. And he's got these great abs…" She went doe-eyed for a moment, her features melting into a stupid grin. She shook herself and continued.

"He's a hero. He has weaknesses that he'll never admit, and soft spots for simple pleasures. I love the way he laughs. I love it when he smiles just for me. I want to be there to see all his triumphs and all his defeats. I want to be there to make the pain stop when he's hurting. And when I'm hurting, I don't know anyone better to soothe me."

The man stared at her silently, the blue and white mask grinning emptily.

"It's about the sex, isn't it?" he said finally.

Katara blinked, but found herself grinning in sheepish reply.

The man sighed. "Very well. My lord? Is that to your satisfaction?"

Katara wondered who he was talking to when Zuko stepped from behind a curtain, smiling.

"Well played, Captain Jee. You were very convincing." He said archly. The man bowed and slipped the mask off.

"Thank you milord. I've always wanted to enter the royal performing school."

"JEE?" Katara nearly screamed in shock. She turned on her fiancé. "ZUKO? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"Isn't it obvious? I was testing you."

Katara spluttered in indignation, her face turning several shades of pink, red, blue, and purple, not unlike her many napkin samples. "You! Y-you-you- you…"

"I had to know Katara. And you had to know. Everything Jee said could happen, and you have to know what you're getting into."

The Waterbender gaped. "I knew when you asked me to marry you! I knew before you asked me! I got the same interrogation from my brother, father, grandmother, Pakku, Aang, and Momo!" She paused. "Well, not Momo, but still! Don't you think I've been through enough?"

Zuko held a hand up calmly. "Yes Katara, you have. But the war will look like playtime compared to the trials our marriage will endure. Are you prepared for that?"

The Water girl softened under the Firebender's pained look. She took his hand. "Zuko, I was ready the day you looked in my eyes and asked me to forgive you for everything you'd ever done."

He gripped her tiny palm, smiling gently. "Then marry me. Right now."

Katara's jaw slackened, and she felt her heart rise to her throat. "But… what about the wedding? And who's going to marry us?"

"Captain Jee was promoted shortly before this little escapade so he could perform the ceremony, and the real wedding will still happen." Zuko explained. "But I want us to get married now, without all the frills and pomp. I want us to be married for love, not for some crazy notion that this is political, or that we're sacrificing our hearts for the good of the four nations. I want you here, now, just you and me and a few honest words. I love you Katara. And I want you all to myself."

She gazed into those liquid gold eyes and melted. A whimper of glee escaped her lips. The noise sounded oddly like "Squee!"

"Yes Zuko. I love you too. And I will marry you." She blubbered, eyes brimming with tears. They embraced tightly and Zuko covered her brow with kisses. She pulled away, wiping happy tears out of her eyes, and glanced at the smiling Jee. "But… we don't have any witnesses."

"Actually, we do."

And from behind the curtain stepped a timid Earth Kingdom man in simple green and beige clothing. He tugged on his little grey goatee and removed his wool cap reverently, clutching and twisting it between his knobby hands.

"Milady," he bobbed. He cocked his head to one side. "We've met before, I think."

Katara blinked. "You… you're…"

"His cart was broken down by the side of the road." Zuko paused. "No, wait, that's a lie. I accidentally landed Appa on top of his cart and destroyed his wares. I asked him if he wouldn't mind bearing witness and he said yes. So I bought his entire stock of cabbages for the next ten years in exchange for his attendance."

The cabbage man beamed, his eyes full of stars, a stupefied grin plastered to his lined face.

"Is there anyone else behind that curtain?" Katara asked, laughing incredulously.

"We couldn't fit Appa through the door," Zuko explained. "I… er… borrowed him for the trip here and back. He's waiting outside."

"Would you like me to proceed?" Jee asked. The couple nodded and everyone took their places.

And so Zuko and Katara said their vows in a tiny chapel to the side of the road an hour's rhino ride from the capital and a week before their real wedding, and none were the wiser. The Fire Lord silently wished Katara would have agreed to runaway on their honeymoon right then and there to avoid the looming fiasco of their impending nuptials. But he soon realized the benefits to this arrangement as he swept his wife off her feet and carried her to the bed in the tiny bedroom.


And they had fiery, steamy smex. For real.

It ain't over yet folks. Not by a long shot. The REAL wedding has yet to happen! Stay tuned!