Just posted a set of (-ahem-) rather mature drabbles on Fic Haven dot org - I'll be posting the PG version here at some point, but if you need a giggle and a little titilation, check out Zuko's Geography Lessons by FatefulFish (that's my smut name).
Reception: Master of Ceremonies
The dining hall was packed, a hundred round tables elegantly draped in red and gold linen with silver napkins, crystal, silver cutlery, and the finest arrangement of roses, lilies and baby's breath in the centrepieces. Silk standards in blues, greens, reds, and silvers fluttered in the slight stirring of the thousand and forty-eight gasps and sharp intakes of breath as the guests marvelled at the reception hall's beauty.
The bride and groom were whisked in to thunderous applause. The Fire and Waterbender smiled and waved as they made their way up to the front of the room, wedding party in tow, while holding a private conversation.
"Are you certain this was a good idea?" Zuko asked his wife.
"Too late to back out of it now," Katara smiled tightly as they sat down at the head reception table. They both turned to the subject of their concern and forced their smiles to remain bright.
"Good evening ladies and germs!" Sokka called out to the crowd. With the aid of Aang's Airbending, the Water Tribe warrior's tiny voice was carried to all one thousand and forty-eight pairs of ears. The audience settled down. No one laughed.
Undaunted, Sokka, master of ceremonies, continued. "Welcome to Fire Lord Zuko's wedding reception. Did everyone remember to visit the open bar?"
A murmur of assent trickled throughout the crowd, punctuated by a few hearty "Ayes" and "Arrrs" from the pirate table.
"I'm Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, your MC tonight. The lovely bride there is my sister, making Zuko my brother-in-law. Crazy, isn't it? But I just know he'll be as good a husband to my little sister as he'll be a leader of the Fire Nation. Huh? Yeah, give them both a round of applause!"
A weak smatter was followed by profound silence.
"It's funny; when I first met Zuko, I thought he was a psychotic, arrogant, stuck up Fire Nation royal who had issues with his father. Turns out I was right!"
Aang laughed out loud, along with a few others. Zuko cringed and started taking names. Azula, Mai, the Pirate Captain, Uncle Iroh…
"But then, when my little sister told me she was in love, boy was I ever in for a shock. It seems like only yesterday that she was still wetting her bed. In fact, I think it was."
"Sokka! That was a bending accident!" Katara hissed over the riotous laughter and catcalls. Then she started taking names: Gran Gran, Dad, Aang, Zuko…
He went on. "Of course, when they asked me to MC, I couldn't say no. I mean, when you have a temperamental master Waterbender and an even more temperamental Firebender asking you for anything, you'd better say yes!"
Vigorous agreement in the form of yells, cheers, and table-banging erupted from many of the guests, most of them Zuko's old crew. The Fire Lord shot them all a devastating glower, but they were all too drunk to notice.
"So I'm here to keep you all entertained this evening between courses. I've got some wild games, and a few jokes and tricks for you all throughout the night, and even a few performances by special guests.
"Now I have a few rules, so listen carefully. If you want to see the bride and groom kiss—" the room began a clamorous banging and clinking of their dinnerware; the cacophony died as Sokka calmed everyone down "—Like I was saying, if you want to see them kiss, come up here and pull a slip of paper from this bag. Some of the slips will direct the couple to kiss. Other slips will have something you have to do, like sing a song, or act out a play. It's the risk you run if you want to see them kiss! And trust me, as someone who had to put up with it for the past two years, you don't want to see these two make out!"
Someone shouted: "Make them use tongue!"
"No more wine for you, Bumi!" Sokka shouted back archly.
"Anyhow, before our wonderful waiters bring out the first course, I'm going to tell you a joke. Are there any children in the audience? No, Aang, you don't count. Okay, good, I'll tell the adult version of the joke.
"An Earthbender, a Waterbender, and a Firebender walk into a tavern. The bartender, a buxom young Airbender maiden with huge—"
Sokka was tackled to the ground.
"Enjoy the first course, people," Zuko muttered, dusting his robes off as he hauled his brother-in-law off by the collar for a stern lecture on jokes you don't tell to an audience from all four corners of the globe at the Fire Lord's wedding reception.
I tried to write the rest of Sokka's joke. I really did. But the punchline just wasn't up to snuff.
Challenge: If you can finish the three-benders-walk-into-a-bar joke, send it in and I'll make you an icon or a drabble!
