I got a few good entries for Sokka's "Three Benders Walk Into a Bar" joke, but these two stood out. Rashaka and another author who wished to remain anonymous left entries for me to work into the series. In return, they got drabbles, now available in my Drabble collection, Drabbletar: the Fast Entrybender.


Three Benders Walk Into a Bar…


They would have met each other at some point; just three old guys having a few, milling about between courses, walking from table to table to say hello. They vaguely knew each other, either through infamy, introduction, or by the wanted posters the Fire Lord had forgotten to have removed all over the world. In any case, the three somehow managed to converge and strike up a conversation.

"It's too bad Sokka didn't get to finish that joke," Bumi chuckled. "I do love a good joke."

"Jokes are for morons," Jeong Jeong muttered, more to his drink (a Sex on the Beach with a fruit kebab in it) than to either of the men that had somehow managed to latch onto him.

"Admittedly, I do like to laugh now and again," Master Pakku smirked. "especially at other people's expense. Won't you regale us with a few funnies, your Majesty?"

(Somewhere, someone was emphatically waving Pakku off.)

Bumi's manic grin widened. "The version of the 'three benders' joke I know is known as the Rashaka version," he said, and began:

"In a fanfic, three benders walked into a bar…" Bumi paused for dramatic effect. His audience waited expectantly.

"…You'd think the Metalbender would've known better."

Silence fell. Someone in the distance coughed.

Jeong Jeong's face puckered. "What's a fanfic?"

"Metalbender?" Pakku rubbed his chin in thought. "Is there even such a thing?"

Bumi looked crestfallen. "My mom thought it was funny."

Pakku's face relaxed into a languid simper as he took another gulp of his gin and tonic. "Wait, wait, I have one for you.

"An Earthbender, a Waterbender, and a Firebender walk into a bar. They look at each other… and then walk out again."

Bumi contemplated the punch line. "That happened to me once, actually."

"JOKES?" The little gathering was jolted by Jeong Jeong's sudden bark. "What do you know of jokes? If a comedian lives all his life telling jokes, does he know what the punch line will always be?"

Wide eyes, green and blue, blinked at the Firebender. "Uh…well… yeah. We should hope so…" Bumi looked a little uncomfortable. For once, there was someone in the room who was crazier than he was.

"Ah! I just remembered the joke!" Pakku rubbed his hands together gleefully. Jeong Jeong continued to mutter to his cocktail about the destiny of running gags and slapstick humour. "This is a version someone told me… I can't say who, because his wife doesn't like him telling these kinds of jokes.

"An Earthbender, a Waterbender, and a Firebender walk into a bar. The bartender, a young Airbender maiden with huge—" here, he paused "…er…beer jugs… asks them what they would like to drink. The three order a round and then set about admiring the young woman. They quickly fall into an argument about who can seduce the beautiful bartender.

"The Firebender gets up and walks to the girl and says: 'How about a hot time with me?' The Airbender laughs and sends the Firebender careening back into his seat with an air ball.

"The Earthbender snickers and then gets up to have a try. He walks up to the girl and says: 'You want something rock hard?' The Airbending girl looks at him and then sends him back into his chair...violently.

"Finally, the Waterbender shakes his head at the two unsuccessful suitors and, taking a large draft of his drink, walks up to the girl. The other two watch in fascination as the Waterbender grabs the girl and forcefully kisses her. The Airbender's eyes widen with shock at the forwardness of the Waterbender, and the two other would-be suitors get ready to welcome back their friend, but the girl slowly relaxes and seems to really enjoy the kiss. Afterwards, the Waterbender whispers something into the girl's ear and with a blush she nods and takes his arm.

"The other two benders stand there in shock as the Waterbender starts to leave with the girl. Finally, one of them grabs the Waterbender by the arm and asks: 'What did you say to her?'

"The Waterbender looks back at them and says: 'Just imagine what I can do with a whole bathtub full of water.'"

Jeong Jeong, mid-sip, snorted Sex of the Beach out his nose. Bumi cackled wickedly and wiped tears from his eyes.

Another laugh, low and liquid and dripping with sensuality, pealed just over the men's shoulders. They turned and saw the bounty huntress, Jun, laughing daintily into her elegant black-gloved hand. She smiled and winked at Pakku before sliding away into the crowd.

It was a miracle the three dirty old men managed to pant only a little.

"So…" Bumi intoned breathily, "Just what CAN you do with a bathtub full of water?"