A Toast: by The Maid of Honour


"I'm not much for grand speeches, unless they're being used to unnerve or intimidate other people, so I'll keep this short.

"I met Katara briefly when she and my brother were still at odds: Zuzu was in exile, still chasing the Avatar, and she was wiping his bottom. The Avatar's, not my brother's.

"I don't know how or why they got together: he probably walked in on her while she was bathing or something, or kidnapped her to use as bait, and fell in love with her in the process. Whatever it was, Zuzu had fallen, and he fell hard.

"When I found out they were together, I thought, well heck, if the boy wants to further his own misery, so be it. But instead, he got all serious...-er, and decided to join forces with the good guys and take down daddy. And then he managed to wrangle me into it somehow. I think I was drunk that night, I don't know. And then we all lived happily ever after… except for the fact that he still hasn't made good on his offer to make me co-ruler. When are you going to do that anyways, bro?

"Anyhow… what was I saying? -hic- Excuse me. Oh, right Katara. She asked me to be her maid of honour because frankly, there aren't many other candidates for the job. Something about Toph being too much of a tomboy—

"Hey! Who threw that rock? Don't you know I'm the frickin' maid of honour here? And the princess! Don't you frickin' forget that, eh?

"Anyhow, I said yes. Because you know what they say about the bridesmaids—they get all the tail. So if anyone needs me, I'll be in the coatroom for most of the evening. I mean you, Aang. And that tall fellow earlier with the grass in his mouth? Where are ya' handsome?

"Right, what was I saying? Boy Katara, are you so sure that open bar was a good idea? I can barely…I… wait a second…

"…Are… are those… HIPPIES?"


Reader: That wasn't that funny. And was Azula, like, drunk or something?
Me: ...Yeah... she's a total lush. And if you didn't get the joke Pakku told last chapter, "taking a draft" means to take a big gulp of a liquid. That ought to explain the joke a little better. Of course, it helps to have a dirty mind.
Reader: ...okay... but this chapter still isn't funny.
Me: Oh yeah? Why don't YOU try writing a Maid of Honour speech? I mean it! Try it!
(and I'll make you an icon or drabble if you make me laugh.)