Wow. So I got a whole spate of speeches from reviewers... and they were all great. Check out the reviews if you wanna see how other authors would toast the happy couple. I know I promised icons/drabbles to anyone who made me laugh, but if I did that, I'd be writing/maniping to the end of days...
I do have something else in mind, though, so stay tuned!
Dance Lessons: Reprise
"Hey, hey, hey, ladies and germs!" Sokka's overused greeting got almost no response this time. "We've got another special little performance for you all. Now, traditionally in the Water Tribe, the bride and groom share their first dance at the end of the night, while the Fire Nation has it in the beginning."
An audible groan arose from the crowd. Apparently, the custom was as boring as it sounded. "However, since this is a fusion wedding, we decided to bunk tradition and have the best man and maid of honour perform the traditional Fire Nation tango for us instead!"
A shrill chorus of hoots and whistles arose, mostly from members the Fire Nation. Everyone else looked perplexed. Sokka smirked.
"For those of you who don't know much about Fire Nation dancing, the tango is, how do I put this…" Sokka tapped his chin lightly, "…not suitable for younger viewers."
Aang nervously excused himself, edging away from the head table. Azula, who had suddenly sobered up for her grand performance, shot him an outraged look.
"Don't you dare walk out on me, you jelly-legged coward!" She snapped.
Aang tensed, eyes shifting. "Azula, I can't…" he hissed. "I… I'm…"
"Spit it out you useless but devilishly charismatic world saviour!" The princess snarled.
Aang fumbled. "I… I'm—"
"Freezing up."
The wedding party turned. Toph was ascending the stage, hands locked behind her back, looking smugly confident as she approached. Aang blinked: he hadn't seen his Earthbending teacher for almost a year. The once stubby-looking girl had grown and filled out some. Her pudgy hands and dwarfish feet were now proportionate, her neck and face elongated, slender and smooth. Her ebony hair, once a frowsy mess of bangs, had been combed to glossiness, and was styled in a simple of elegant up-do of small braids twined with tiny sparkling gems. She looked swanlike in Azula's borrowed gown of gold and ivory. The green sash tied around her narrow waist outlined her budding figure. The servants the princess had set upon the travel-weary Earth Kingdom hero had done a good job: she didn't look anything like the tomboy the princess had marked her as.
Of course, all Aang saw was that she was hot.
He found himself standing in front of her, bowing at the waist to show respect to his sifu. He fumbled for words of greeting.
"Uh… Master… Uh… Sifu…Toph!… I didn't think you'd show up—"
She bluntly held up her hand, cutting him off. "Don't try to fancy talk your way around this, Twinkle Toes. You have a dance to perform and a promise to keep. If you walk away, it'll be just like when you first started to learn Earthbending. Face this head-on, Student Aang! You're the Avatar, for spirits' sake! Couldn't you show just a little spine?"
Aang flushed as the wedding guests tittered. Of course, with so many of them, it sounded more like a roar of wild laughter.
Shoulders hunched in mortification, the monk whispered, "I can't… I tried, I really did, but then…"
"Enough excuses. You're going to dance." She said decisively. Toph turned and pointed at the maid of honour. "Azula, I still owe you for that tomboy remark earlier. How would you like to give our guests some real entertainment?"
The Fire princess was instantly intrigued. The Earthbender had always been a source of good challenges for her. "What do you have in mind?"
"I hear Sokka's pretty good on the dance floor: you two partner up, and I'll have Twinkle Toes live up to his name and dance circles around you in five minutes flat."
Aang jumped. "No, Toph, you don't have to—"
"Are you telling me you actually know how to dance the Fire Nation tango?" Azula raised an eyebrow.
Toph tossed her bangs, sneering. "I have the richest parents in the Earth Kingdom. I had dance lessons like you wouldn't believe. I still have no idea where my parents expected me to use those skills, seeing as they barely acknowledge my existence to the outside world... but never mind that."
Sokka interjected. "No offense, Toph, but Aang really does have two left feet, and I've been practicing this dance for months now. You two wouldn't stand a chance of beating us."
"Hey!" Aang exclaimed indignantly.
Toph's clouded eyes narrowed. "Okay, let's make a wager then. Best performance gets to keep Aang on her arm for the rest of the night. Zuko and Katara can judge."
Aang yelped. "Why is everyone treating me like I'm some kind of prize to be won? I'm a human being! Why won't you listen to me?"
Sokka raised a hand in question. "Uh… so what do I get if we win?"
But the girls' old rivalry had been rekindled, and it would be carried to its conclusion. Anyone who happened to get drawn into the competition could only be blamed for not being fast enough to dodge the draft. So Sokka would, like everyone else, get nothing out of this.
"Deal," Azula grinned, and she and Toph shook on it.
After a minute to confer with their partners, the contestants to this new game decided the "amateurs" should go first. Toph grinned mischievously.
"Could someone be kind enough to pass me my purse?" She fluttered her eyelashes coyly at the sea of guests. Someone came running down the aisle, clutching the Earthbender's green silk satchel. The boy handed it up to her enthusiastically. Aang stared down at him: it was Haru.
"Good luck, Sifu Toph," he said, all smiles and rosy cheeks and starry eyes.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Toph snatched her purse and waved the smitten young man away.
"You're not… uh, teaching him, are you?" Aang asked.
"Who, Goldilocks? Hell no. He's just trying to prove he's a man by getting into someone's pants tonight. Now pay attention." she pulled the drawstring bag open and turned it over: a pile of sand poured out at her feet. Toph raised an upturned palm then slammed it down, spreading the sand out in a fine, even layer over the dance floor.
"I know you're used to being the leader and all, but in this case, you're going to let me do all the driving, got it?" she said firmly. "Just keep your back straight, stay balanced, and don't fight me, understand?"
"But what— "
Toph nodded to Chong and the Nomads – by some miracle, they actually knew a few Fire Nation Tangos. They started the sultry, sliding tune and Toph whipped her arms out.
And she began to dance.
Aang stood gaping as she flung her hips out, arching her back and tossing her hair seductively, her blind eyes fixed on him nonetheless. The Avatar felt himself heat. Monk or not, his body was reacting and for once he was really, really glad that his robes were so tailored so loose.
And suddenly, he was dancing too. He didn't realize it at first, but the sand on the floor beneath him was sifting. A sharp jut beneath his heel pitched his left food forward, followed by another lump behind his right foot, so that he took two steps forward. He squeaked in alarm, but quickly threw his weight back to keep balance, just as the sand beneath his left foot slid a half a meter to the left. The toe to the right foot was dragged around and he pivoted, twisting his waist and balancing himself, waving his arms around only a little.
Toph continued her slinky traipsing around him, her hands deftly working the earth around him, a grand puppet master to the Avatar's body. The monk quickly learned the pattern to the steps and began to anticipate where his sifu would lead him next. She whipped the green sash off from around her waist, and bent Aang closer. The wide band of silk fell over his shoulders and she pulled him tightly against her, shimmying up and down against his front provocatively.
In the next moment, he was whipped away, unfurled from the great band of cloth so that the sand could reclaim control of his feet. He found himself high-stepping, sliding, twirling and leaping with Toph, who matched his movements, accentuated with the alluring flick of her wrists and fingers.
They met in the centre, and now, as he gripped the Earthbender's waist firmly and slid an open, hungry palm down her side, Aang understood what he'd been missing, why he hadn't been able to grasp the Fire Nation tango during his lessons with the Fire princess.
The tango was about love. Passion. He had felt nothing but awkwardness with Azula, who had tried to loosen him up with the waltz before launching into the steamy tango. Aang had never seen the Fire princess as more than an ally, the sister of his old nemesis, the Fire Lady in waiting, a comrade, a…
Scratch that. Aang was AFRAID of Azula.
But with Toph, who looked like a twist of silk and satin twining around his body, he was experiencing very un-monk-like feelings, which were being fanned into Firebenderish proportions. He had a feel for the steps now, and carried himself the rest of the way, improvising with his own slick movements gleaned from Sokka and Azula's earlier performance. Toph nodded once in approval. Her student had caught on.
All too quickly, the dance ended, and Aang could barely believe his enormous ears at the thunderous applause, the whistles and hoots and catcalls for the brazen Earthbender, the hot performance that had a lot of people wiping the sweat from their brows.
With a mighty blush, Aang suddenly realized he was still holding Toph by the waist, her length pressed against him as she sagged in a rainbow arc beneath him. He pulled her to her feet and she grinned.
"Not bad, Twinkle Toes," she said, gathering the sand back into a ball in her palm and slipping it into her purse. "Not bad at all."
She stepped down off the stage, leaving Aang entirely perplexed (and horny).
Azula was furious.
"C'mon Sokka!" She grabbed her stunned partner by the front of his shirt. "I will not let that little mud-mucker of a tomboy upstage me!"
The princess and the Water Tribe warrior sauntered onto centre stage. With a nod from Sokka, Chong and the Nomads began a different tune, another tango. The Fire and Water duo began their steamy rendition of the dance Aang had watched them do when he had first been getting lessons. Though now that Azula was in direct competition, it was a no-holds-bar performance. The hips swivels and pelvic thrusts were even more suggestive, the caresses fervent. The smoldering looks they gave each other could have set the place on fire.
And then Azula ripped Sokka's shirt open.
The single girls in the audience squealed. (After all, with Zuko married off, the mantle of hot-single-guy had to be passed on.) The Water Tribe warrior looked down at his bared chest and smirked. Getting the gist of what Azula was aiming for in their routine, he reached forward and clasped the front of her bodice…
…Only to neatly tear away one cup of her breast coverings.
Shocked. Silence.
Sokka stared wide-eyed at the exposed boob, looked at the fabric clutched in his hand, looked back at the boob.
Azula went white as a sheet.
And screamed.
She bolted off stage, hands over her chest, leaving a streak of smoke in her wake.
Zuko covered his eyes. Katara gaped openly.
Sokka coughed and hid the handful of boob covering behind his back. He cleared his throat as though nothing had happened.
"Uh… yeah… next course."
He walked off the stage and promptly threw up in a potted plant.
