Girl Talk


Azula had somehow managed to salvage the torn bodice, pinning it up with her corsage so that her bare breast was covered. A splash of lip gloss and she was back to her picture-perfect self.

"It'll just come off later anyhow," she said dismissively, smiling down at her boob through her cocktail. "Call it easy-access."

It seemed the princess had completely recovered from her Janet Jackson moment, though what a Janet Jackson was, Katara could not say. She sighed at Azula's ruined gown – it had looked so beautiful on the princess – but she continued to undo the clasps on her fifth wedding dress of the evening.

"You know, I'm really, really starting to regret all these dress changes," the bride stepped out of her red qipao and took the next dress – a fur-trimmed, navy blue frock – off the hanger. Azula helped her pull it on without a word; all the drinks she'd been having had made her forget that she was a princess rather than a handmaiden.

"Aw, Kat, you'd look beautiful in a paper bag," the Firebender hiccupped. "My brother's not good enough fer ya."

Knowing she was prone to speaking the truth when she was drunk, Katara smiled. "Thanks 'Zula. That means a lot, coming from you."

Actually, it didn't mean anything, since Azula really didn't think much of her brother, but the bride let it pass.

"Hey," Azula leaned heavily on her sister-in-law, "Heeeeey… d-do…" Azula set her drink down and got very serious. "Do…do you think Aang would ever go for a girl like me?"

Katara stared. She'd always thought the little monk was simply on the princess's list of men yet vanquished. He was, after all, the Avatar, a man of great power and respect. Every woman in the world wanted him. But the Waterbender never thought in a million years that Azula was serious about Aang.

"Uh…well, he is a bit younger than you," she said diplomatically. Every nerve in her being wanted to scream, "OH GODS NO, ARE YOU INSANE? AANG'S TERRIFIED OF YOU!" but she had always been a bit sensitive about Azula's feelings, though the girl pretended she had none. She added with a wry smile, "Not that age kept him from chasing me."

"Heh, yeah," Azula sloshed, bitterness and envy tingeing her tone. "But…do you think I even have a chance? Next to Toph, I'm… I'm just so…" she gestured with her hands, at a loss for words. Loathe to filling them in for her, Katara waited.

"…Fiery and passionate?" Katara suggested tactfully after a minute, though she had wanted to scream, "INHUMANLY FRIGHTENING?"

"Royally beautiful," Azula concluded with a sigh. Her hand made a delicate little flourish. "I'm just afraid that Aang's frightened off by my perfect beauty, y'know?"

Katara kept her face straight.

"I have flaws, too, y'know. Like, when I was young, I had a mole, right here," she pointed to a spot under her chin. "I had it removed. You can still sorta see the mark there, under the makeup. C'mon, take a look."

Katara obliged. Sure enough, a teeny dot of mocha brown was flecked on the princess's alabaster skin. She would never have seen it if Azula hadn't pointed it out, and told her sister-in-law so.

"Aw, Kat, you're a good friend. I know you don't want to hurt my feelings, and I know Aang really has a thing for Toph… and the younger chits. He deserves someone…" she hiccupped. "Never mind. Pretend I didn't ask about him and we'll have a good time tonight, yeah? I mean, I can still try to jump his bones, right? Even he can't say no to a first-class ride on the Azula Express to Pleasureville." She laughed crudely.

Katara thought Azula might have been more like the town's only ostrich-horse, but kept that sentiment to herself as she put the finishing touches to her sixth dress change and studied her reflection.

"Hey, and how about that Jet guy? Wow, he's, like, gorgeous." Azula giggled.

Alarm bells clanged loudly in Katara's ears. "Zula, you can't date him. He's… well, he's…"

"A wanted man? A psychotic maniac? Hates the Fire Nation and all its denizens?"

"All three, actually." Katara furrowed her brow. "Now I'm trying to remember why I put him on the guest list…"

Azula dismissed her with a wave. "I can handle him. You forget who you're talking to." The princess grinned, a manic show of teeth worthy of Ozai.

The bride was about to say something to stop her friend. She couldn't expose her new sister-in-law to the likes of that cursedly-handsome Jet. He's a charmer, he'll use you and abuse you, he's a lowlife dirt bag and needs to go down…

But then, her mind did a funny thing. It pretended she was talking to Jet, and tried to convince her to keep him away from Azula.

She's crazy, she's moody, she'll use and abuse you…

And then her brain did a 180, and she was looking at Azula again.

"Hello? Earth Kingdom to Katara? You okay, sweetie?" The princess waved a hand in front of her eyes. "Did you hear me? I said, what do you think if I asked him out?"

Somehow, Katara said it with a perfectly straight face.

"Go ahead. I think you two would make a great match."