Mingling: And the drinks kept flowing…


The father of the groom was carried away to sleep off his hangover in his cell in the lowest dungeon of the palace. Though it was almost midnight, the newlyweds opted to mingle as opposed to retire themselves. They walked arm-in-arm around the dance floor, champagne flutes in hand, toasting and nodding and chatting pleasantly with whoever they encountered.

"Don't be too shocked by the things you might hear, my love," Katara said quietly as they strolled on. "Weddings make people a little bit… well, odd."

"The open bar didn't help." Zuko said. "Not to mention what Chong and the hippies are passing around in the back room."

"What I mean to say is that there are a lot of single people here, and weddings sometimes make them a little nervous about being alone. Without a partner. Incomplete." She sighed. "People see us up here, and they feel like they need to be with someone. So they seek other people out, because chances are, at an event like this, they'll have some kind of… connection with someone."

Zuko nodded in understanding. They had invited half the kingdom – the chances people would make connections in the Fire Lord's palace was quite high that night.

They strolled on, listening to snippets of conversation as they passed.


Pirate Captain: I introduced those two to each other, you know.
Hakoda: So this is all YOUR fault?
Pirate Captain: ...Uh…


Jet: So, you were a refugee from the Fire Nation, huh? Must be kinda weird to be coming to this wedding and all.
Song: Not really.
Jet: Are you sure? Cuz, I could give you some comfort in that dark little corner over there…
Song: (slaps Jet and stalks away)
Jet: Oh yeah? Well… I don't like burn victims anyhow! So there!


Azula: EEEEEE! HIPPIES! EEEEEEEEE! WHO LET THEM IN HERE? GET THEM AWAY! GET THEM AWAY! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Chong: Hey, Fire Lady, you have got to chill out…
Azula: AHHHHHHHH! IT'S TALKING TO ME!
Chong: I think what you need is a song…
Azula: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


Jet: So you're from Kyoshi, huh? I bet that unagi isn't as big as my eel…
Suki: I have an idea. How about you dangle it in front of an elephant koi, and see if you catch anything?


Gan jin Tribe leader: You seem familiar to me…
Mechanist: Odd. So do you.


Haru: Hi, I'm Haru. You wanna dance?
Smellerbee: Are…are you a girl?
Haru: …Wait… aren't you?


Jet: I hear you know a few things about pressure points. That's great, because there are a few points on my body that could use a little pressure.
Ty Lee: (jabs all of Jet's pressure points so he falls limply to the ground)
Jet: …Ha! There's still one thing that ain't limp, beautiful!
Ty Lee: (jab)
Jet: …Aw crap.


Chong: Dude! Niiiiiice outfit.
Bumi: This is so embarrassing – how could you wear the same thing as me? I'm the King of Omashu!
Chong: You're wearing the same thing as me? Dude, then you must be, like, the King of Omashu!
Bumi: … I think I've been out-crazied.


Jeong Jeong: Nice hair.
Aunt Wu's serving man: Right back at you.


Jet: Hey baby. Nice whip. Wanna see mine?
Jun: I'd as soon kiss my Xirxiu.
Jet: …I can arrange that! He could use a good KISS!


Lily: So this one time, at band camp—
Sokka: I really, really don't want to know.


Jet: I may not an Earthbender, but I just know I can make the earth move for you.
Toph: Well, I may be blind, but I can just tell you're about to look like an idiot.
Jet: What? What are you—
Toph: (punts him across the room with a swift Earthbending kick to the butt.)


Pakku: YOU! You stole a Waterbending scroll from me!
Pirate Captain: …Uh…


Katara: Pleeeeeeease?
Zuko: No.
Katara: Oh c'mon!
Zuko: I said NO, Katara.
Katara: Pretty please?
Zuko: I am NOT doing the Macarena!


Jet: I have all kinds of knives hiding on my body, too. I bet you I can find all yours before you find all mine.
Mei: If you say one more thing to me, you're going to find one of those knives stuck somewhere where the sun don't shine.


Zhang Tribe leader: You think YOU have unmanageable hair?
Meng: Try using separate shampoo and conditioners. It'll take the frizz down.
Zhang Tribe leader: Sham…poo?


Jet: Hey there gorg—DUDE!
Haru: What? You don't think I'm pretty?


Bato: Hey, I know you! Didn't you try to raid my ship a month ago?
Pirate Captain: …Uh…


Gran-Gran: They call me Gran-squared. You can call me G2.
Jeong Jeong: They call me Jeong-squared. You can call me all yours.


Pakku: So what was he like?
Hakoda: Who, Ozai? Well… his hands were sweaty.
Arnook: Oh, nasty. I hate sweaty hands. And what was with the shirtless thing?
Pakku: He was shirtless?
Hakoda: You were talking to him earlier, didn't you notice? Anyhow, he's apparently always shirtless. Likes to make sure his silhouette's as intimidating as it can be.
Arnook: Doesn't help when you're in jail, though, does it?
Pakku: You know what would really help? Deodorant. That would get him the ladies.
Hakoda: You're one to talk.
Pakku: What? You don't like my cologne?
Arnook: Dude, you smell like fish ass. And it's not working. Know how I know?
Pakku: How?
Arnook: (points to Jeong Jeong and Gran Gran making out.)
Pakku: THE HELL?


Cabbage Man: (singing)—Fish—!
Bitter old fisherman: (singing)—And cabbage!—
Both: —Together at last!
Cabbage Man: (singing) We'll make a scrumptious, nutritious repast!
Bitter old fisherman: (singing) And all of our worries will fade pretty faassst…
Both: (singing) If we go in business to-ge-ther!


Mai: This party is unbearably dull. When will my wretched life in the Fire Nation end?
Jun: (stroking Mai's hair) Have you ever considered a career in bounty hunting? It pays very well, and I wouldn't mind taking on an apprentice…
Mai: …I… I'd like that. I think I'd really like that.
Jun: C'mon. Let me show you my Xirxiu…


Chong: So… do you like to party?
Chey: Oh boy, do I!
Toph: OH GODS! OH GODS!
Sokka: What's wrong Toph?
Toph: MY FEET! MY FEET!
Sokka: …annnd?
Toph: Your Gran Gran… old Firebender… tongues…
Sokka: What? What are you… OH GODS! MY EYES! MY EYES! I'M BLIND!
Toph: I'M BLINDER!


Earth Kingdom Messenger: I'm looking for Bato of the— Speedy? Speedy is that YOU?
YuYuan Archer: …Uh…


Colonel Shinu: And then I said… oh excuse me, that's my messenger hawk.
Prison Warden: A message from the Fire Lord? ..."Roses are red, violets are blue, Zhao is dead, and so are you." What could he possibly… HOLY CRAP!
Tyro: Everyone look! It's George Takei! GET HIM!
Colonel Shinu: (yelling) Zuko, I'm standing right here! Why do you insist on communicating with me by messenger hawk all the time? Is it my breath? You can tell me, you know!


Iroh: Hello there.
Yaguda: Hello.
Iroh: I don't suppose you'd be interested in having a cup of tea with the Dragon of the West?
Yaguda: I'd be delighted.
Iroh: …And perhaps, we could play a sporting game of Pai-sho?
Yaguda: I love Pai-sho!
Iroh: And then perhaps I could introduce you to my Dragon of the South.
Yaguda: (slaps Iroh) MASHER!
Iroh: It didn't work, Jet!
Jet: Well try that old lady over there!
Iroh: That's a guy!
Pirate Barker: Well! I never!
Iroh: And neither have I, thank the spirits!


Jet: Hey, you're hot. Wanna make out?
Azula: Okay.


Crazy Herb Lady: Hey, you're hot. Wanna make out?
King Bumi: I'd be delighted.


Aang: Meng? Is that you?
Meng: Oh, hey Aang! Nice to see you again!
Aang: You… you look… uh… wow.
Meng: Thanks Aang. Aunt Wu always said I would be a bit of a late bloomer.
Aang: Uh… so… you wanna maybe… do… an… activity? Dance or something?
Meng: Sorry Aang, but someone's already asked me to.
Teo: Hey Meng, here's your punch. Hey Aang! You're not trying to steal my girl, are you?
Aang: ...No! You guys go… uh… dance. Have fun.
Teo: Bye Aang.
Meng: See you later Aang!
Aang: Take care! …Floozy…


Roku: "That boy is our last hope."
Yue: "No. There is another…"
Koh: "Y Jabba Neche won chuda chelete poto kah, yeh yeh yeh."
Gyatso: "His High Exaltedness, the Great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated."
Hei Ba: "RWWAAAWWRRR."
Zhao: Would you guys QUIT IT? That's really starting to get on my nerves!
Yue: Oh get an afterlife Zhao! C'mon guys, lets do Harry Potter movie-oke instead!
Wan Shi Tong: Ooh, oh! I wanna be Snape!
Kyoshi: Actually, we thought you could play Hedwig again.
Wan Shi Tong: Oh C'MON. That's typecasting! Next thing you'll say is that you want Zhao to play Draco Malfoy's dad.
Zhao: …


Zuko: What the—?
Katara: Everything okay, Zuzu?
Zuko: (rubbing his eyes) I… I thought I saw Hayden Christensen for a moment.
Katara: Shh. It was just a dream, love. A horrible, horrible dream.
Well, of course there are more conversations. I might do a second installment, but if you have any face-to-face moments you'd like to see or want to include, send them my way!