You must all go read Porcelain by Loveroftheflame, available on FicHaven dot org. It is possibly the best smut/fluff crack pairing I have ever read, and it's a beautiful piece of work that is funny and sympathetic and heart-wrenching all at once. Not suitable for kids; but admit it, you come here for the sex scenes.
This is my tribute parody to that great piece of work.
I've also just published a Azula/Zuko fic called Kindred for Loveroftheflame, available on ffnet and FicHaven dot org. I know, lots of people go "squick" at incest fics, but I worked hard on it… maybe this sympathetic tale of forbidden love will change your mind? …Please?
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Cracked Porcelain
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Azula stumbled out of the coat room, dress askew. Her lips were wet and swollen, her lipstick smeared, the skin around her neck burning with the hot smell of rum.
A strong arm shot out of the tiny curtained room and snaked around her waist. She squealed.
"You won't get away from me so easily," a rough voice growled. The tall young man who had caught her in the closet pulled Azula flush against his chest. He smiled wolfishly as he softly bit into her exposed shoulder. The Firebender moaned throatily, arching, the back of her head resting on his shoulder. A long-fingered hand explored her front, feeling the curves beneath the ugly bridesmaid dress, smoothing over her frilly bodice as though the mass of fabric, fur and feathers was something to be savored, inch by hideous inch.
"You are a very naughty boy," the Fire princess purred and spun in the rogue's possessive hold. She shoved him against the doorframe, pressing her palms against the broad planes of his pectorals, looping her hands around his neck before diving once more for his mouth.
Azula commended herself on her catch of the evening; this roguish peasant was perfect material for a one-night stand: good-looking, energetic, willing, anonymous, and utterly disposable. The way things had been going that night, she didn't think anyone would want her as badly as this Earth Kingdom (or, at least she thought he was Earth Kingdom) boy seemed to want her. That he was so adamant about getting away from the Melon Lady only made their tryst that much more fun: half the challenge was keeping grunts and groans to a minimum so no one could find them.
The corridor where the coatroom was located was mostly vacant, though the sounds of the party filtered down the long arched hallways, joyful echoes mixing with her breathy moans invading the Fire Nation palace. Through her haze of alcohol-induced passion, her mouth full of tongue, her fists full of hair, and her loins flooded with damp heat, the Firebender could sense someone approaching.
"Princess?"
Obviously, this palace newbie knew nothing about the consequences of disrupting her personal recreation.
The voice, small and meek, came again. "Princess?"
Someone was about to learn the meaning of pain. She gave the soon-to-be burn victim one last chance.
"Princess Azula?" the voice deepened, but was on the verge of breaking.
She wrenched herself violently away from the youth's lean body, feeling cold fire spark on her fingertips.
"Idiot! Can't you see I'm—"
The words died on her lips. Emerald green eyes stared forlornly back at her. A finely chiseled jaw clenched, making the cables on his neck stand out.
Azula gasped.
"H-Haru?"
"Hey, hot stuff, what's the matter?" The lanky youth she had just been playing tonsil hockey with extracted a stalk of grass from his belt and lazily put it in his mouth. "Do you know this guy?"
The princess could say nothing. It had been two years since she had seen the young Earth Kingdom captain, now fully matured, his once delicate features now rugged and worn like smooth stone. Even so, he was still damn pretty.
"Princess…" The disappointment in Haru's voice was clear now. "I… I saw you up on the stage, but I didn't recognize you in that… that dress…" his glanced grimly down and faltered. "I wanted to say hello… they said I might find you out here."
"Haru…" Azula managed again, nearly choking on the taste of boy in her mouth. "I… this is such a surprise. I thought—"
"That I had died in the war? Well, it's a long story…"
(…That mostly involved the Earthbender returning home at the end of the war to live with his parents. But he wasn't about to tell her that.)
"H-how have you been?" Azula stuttered, suddenly very self-conscious about the state of her dress. Or undress, as the groping youth had managed to make it.
"Fine." Haru looked away as she cupped her breasts and rearranged them in the bodice. "Just fine."
Desperate to fill the awkward silence, Azula gestured behind her. "Uh, this is… this is…" she looked frantically up at the lanky youth who deadpanned back at her, the tiny smirk twisting his lips expressing no mirth in his cold, dark eyes as he answered.
"Jet."
"Jet!" she smiled nervously. "Haru, Jet. Jet, Haru."
"S'up?" the Freedom Fighter inclined his chin nonchalantly. Haru barely acknowledged him with a nod, his eyes fixing a hurt, accusing glare on the fidgeting Firebender.
The silence stretched on as they stood there, not looking at each other, a vast ocean of unsaid things dividing the once secret lovers. Jet languidly scratched his balls.
"I think I'll go back in and say hello to some old friends," Haru said finally, clearing his throat. "It was nice to see you again…your highness." He bowed slightly, one eye on her.
"Haru…"
But the boy was already making his way back to the reception hall. Azula watched him go, feeling a nut of something dark and horrible growing inside her. She felt her cheeks burn uncomfortably, and steam seemed to be hissing out from the back of her eyeballs, inexplicably leaking fluid down her face. She wiped at the hot tears in bewilderment. Could it possibly be? Azula feeling… remorse?
"So," Jet turned her around again, cupping her with anxious hands, "where were we?"
She shoved him away and angrily dashed two fistfuls of blue flame onto the ground, roaring in frustration and despair. Jet leapt back.
"HOLY—" he stared at her wide-eyed. "You're a FIREBENDER?" A look of pure horror crossed his features, even as he began wiping his lips on his sleeve.
Azula rolled her eyes in disgust, mostly at herself. She spun on her heel and stalked back into the party to find worthier pursuits.
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I love fanart: I got a piece by Rachel (sorry, I'm not sure what your FFnet name was) and I've posted it to my blog. http / tripetripeandmoretripe. / 2006 / 08 / more-fanart. html
If anyone else out there wants to send some to me based on any of my stories, please do!
