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The Climax
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The Avatar was baffled. He had outwitted Admiral Zhao, outsmarted the Zhang and Gan jin tribes into making peace with each other, solved the mystery of Hei Bai the rampaging forest spirit, figured out how to destroy Sozin's comet, and even determined who had been peeing in Appa's litter lately (turns out it wasn't Momo, but the angry hog monkey Aang had tried to give to Zuko for his bachelor party. Apparently, the indignant creature wanted revenge, and had managed to hitch a ride over the last three weeks, eluding detection by burrowing into Appa's voluminous hair.)
Yes, the Avatar had solved many mysteries and conundrums in his time, but now he was stumped. Thoroughly flabbergasted. Entirely bewildered. And perplexed as no other Avatar in the past had ever been perplexed.
He didn't know how it had happened, but somehow, someway, during his highly anticipated trip to the coatroom with his kittenish Earthbending teacher, Toph had turned into Azula.
"C'mon Aang, I promise you'll enjoy it," Azula purred, tugging on Aang's arm, dragging him toward the coatroom.
"No, really, it's okay, I don't need a… a…" He couldn't bring himself to repeat Azula's graphic offer.
"But I saved you from my brother and father," she pouted. "And now I'm out two hundred gold pieces. Surely I get some form of gratitude in return?"
"I'm sure the Orphans of War really appreciate your donation." The Avatar squirmed.
Her eyes blazed with electric blue fire. "Screw the orphans! I want YOU, Aang, and you're not going to get away from me this time!" the Fire Nation princess slithered around him, the frills, fur and lace of her bedraggled dress clinging to the young monk like nettles to Appa's coat. Her fingernails bit into his skin as she gripped his wrist and yanked him toward the coatroom.
Just then, an anxious-looking guard rushed in. His wild eyes scanned the crowd and landed squarely on him.
"Avatar!" He grabbed the boy by the shoulders. "We need your help! Ozai has escaped!"
The monk was overjoyed with relief. "Lead the way!" he declared, and bounded away from the drunken, horny royal.
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Katara couldn't help but smile as she watched Aang escape Azula's clutches yet again. Of course, her maid of honour was almost as determined—if not moreso—than her husband. If 'Zula really wanted him—and she did—then Katara had no doubt that poor Aang would eventually succumb to the princess's bed, if only to get it over with. She quirked her lips and pondered who she should root for.
As Aang disappeared out the side exit, she wondered briefly what the guard had said to whisk him away like that. Maybe the soldier had felt sorry for the distressed Avatar and had given him a way out of Azula's hold.
The new Fire Lady giggled to herself and glanced over at her husband just as another guard scurried up to him and whispered something in the Fire Lord's ear. Zuko went rigid, his spine snapping into a taut line perpendicular to the grim, horizontal slit of his mouth. He nodded stiffly and made his way over to his uncle, then bent at the waist and said something in the rotund old Firebender's ear. Iroh fumbled and dropped his drink. The plate of cream puffs he held clattered noisily to the ground, and the little pastries rolled off in all directions to be firmly squashed underfoot.
His face said it all…and it wasn't saying "damn, I spilled my margarita."
Katara felt all the blood drain from her face, and she put a hand over her mouth.
Oh no.
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The newlyweds stood with the elder Firebender, their heads together conspiratorially.
"We can't send everyone home yet," Zuko said decisively in a stage whisper. "Father will try to escape as everyone piles out."
"How did this happen?" Katara asked, worrying the sleeve cuffs of her robes.
"Ozai must have planned this. He drank until his body couldn't hold anymore, and threw up everything, including the Firebending suppressant," Iroh surmised. "His bloodstream is full of it, but the capsules were probably ejected. His power will be significantly diminished, but he's still strong enough to do quite a lot of damage. Our best course of action now is to wait until we hear from Avatar Aang, who's out looking for him."
"Damn it, I just knew the open bar was a bad idea!" Zuko scowled.
Iroh looked around, seeing if anyone had heard him, and plastered on a wide, plastic grin. "We'll just have to play it cool and pretend nothing's wrong. We'll all be safe here together in the reception hall. As long as no one says anything out loud, we can prevent mass panic."
An ear-piercing shriek from Azula shattered the joyful din. "ZUZU! DADDY'S ESCAPED AND HE'S GOING TO KILL US ALL!"
Screams erupted.
Above that, the sound of three palms slamming into three foreheads rang out.
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Aang sprinted through the palace, riding the wind to the place where Ozai had last been seen. They found the three guards who had been watching him, now smeared against the wall, sooty and unconscious, but not quite dead. There was no trace of the fugitive ex-Fire Lord.
"How did this happen?" He asked of Captain Li, the head of Ozai's escort.
"He started throwing up. I left to get a clean up crew. He must have ejected enough of the Firebending suppressant to get back the use of his bending powers." Li said in clipped tones.
He grimaced, seeing the smeared puddles of vomit on the ground. "Okay. So where would he go?"
"Ozai knows this palace better than anyone. He knows where all the secret passages are and where they lead. For all I know, he could be at the harbour by now."
The Avatar let forth a string of unmonklike curses.
"We have the walls on high alert, and everyone has been roused to search the palace top to bottom. The secret passages that we do know of are being scoured and guarded."
Aang chewed his lip. "So…if everyone's on the lookout for Ozai…what am I out here for?"
Li opened his mouth but balked. "Uh… you know, I'm not sure. It's just… well, you're the Avatar. You're supposed to be able to help fix things like this."
Aang blinked. "Wait. You said everyone is out searching for Ozai?"
"Every last guard."
"So…who's protecting the guests?"
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"You gotta be kidding me."
Azula, Iroh, Katara and Zuko stood together, readying for the fight of their life as the crowd parted to reveal a very angry ex-Fire Lord stalking toward them. If Ozai had looked scary when Sozin's comet had come, then he was terrifying now, still mostly drunk, high, raving, and on fire. How the flames wreathing his entire muscled body failed to consume his pants was a miracle.
("It's a Firebender thing," Iroh explained later. "Don't ask.")
Every step left a flaming footprint on the cold marble floor (because there was that much alcohol spilled on it). Ozai growled as he advanced to the front of the reception hall unimpeded, sounding like a slavering wolf-bat cornering its prey.
"C'mon Ozai, don't be like this," King Bumi wheedled from one side. "We were all having such a nice time."
Angry yellow eyes snapped his way. "Shut the hell up, you senile old codger!" Ozai howled. "And by the way: I HATE your hat. I was just humoring you when I said it made you look taller!"
Bumi's shoulders slumped, his lower lip trembling.
"Ozai, we're warning you. Not a step closer." Pakku, Sokka, Bato and Hakoda all darted in between the royals and the ex-Fire Lord. Haru, Tyro, and Toph surrounded them on the left side, while Captain Jee, Jet and his Freedom Fighters, and a bunch of other side characters that everyone knew and wished they could see more of, flanked their right.
"You can't beat us all, Dad." Zuko said evenly. "You're outnumbered a thousand to one."
"I don't need to beat all of you," Ozai laughed lowly. "Just you, son. You, and your traitorous sister, and my stupid tea-toting brother. I might also take a swing at your lovely peasant wife, since I'm at it."
Zuko gritted his teeth. "Don't touch her."
Ozai snarled. "The Fortuneteller said my family would betray me someday. I knew I should have listened to her and killed you all when I had the chance."
"Hey, hey, hey, whoa now, don't blame me." Aunt Wu held her hands up defensively. "I just call 'em like I see 'em."
"We didn't betray anyone. It was you who betrayed us, betrayed the whole nation, in your lust for power!" Iroh declared righteously.
"Yeah, Dad. And you weren't exactly the most supportive parent at my dance recitals, either." Azula added, sulking.
"You ungrateful brats. I should have gutted you both from your bitch of a mother's womb when I knew she was with child." Ozai spat, the hot flames around his body flaring to an inferno.
Ouch. Azula, once the tart apple of her deranged father's eye, actually flinched. Zuko, used to Dad's nasty remarks, was nonetheless sore about the stab at their absentee mother.
The ex-Fire Lord took a stance. He was really going to do it. Ozai was going to attack his family in a room full of the world's most powerful fighters and benders, all of them against him.
Time seemed to slow to molasses. Everyone inhaled as the ex-Fire Lord recoiled his arm—
And promptly fell to the ground.
For the span of a heartbeat, the crowd held its breath. The air was stiller than fog in the swamp, high-strung with bewildering tension. The wedding guests slowly turned to look at the one standing in Ozai's place.
"And just who," her voice was smooth and scathing, "are you calling a bitch?"
The royal Fire siblings gaped at the tall woman tapping a full magnum of champagne lightly against her palm. She stood over the unconscious ex-Fire Lord, glaring down at him with the force of a million suns. Agni himself would have shrunk from that glower.
Zuko's mouth went dry.
"M-Mom?"
Ursa looked up, arching one shapely eyebrow. "Didn't I tell you Zuko? You mess with a mommy's babies…" she slammed the bottle firmly against her open palm. "CHOMP!"
