Ray felt his frustration building. Every time he came close to catching up with Neela, she eluded him. He should have known that her years of playing football in England would make her quite proficient at dodging and weaving. And he also should have known that it would be emotionally, as well as, physically. He knew she could be cagey but what the hell was going on? He just wanted to talk to her; see how she was. It is not like he could talk her out of it. He knew Neela. She was one stubborn woman, not to mention, she was in love with the piece of toast and he… he was just her annoying roommate that grated on her very last nerve. He shook his head at the irony. She probably thought he wanted to talk to her about when she was moving out and how he would be stuck with the rent. He stood absentmindedly at the coffee machine, oblivious to the hot liquid coming dangerously close to the top of the cup. The sting of steaming liquid cascading over his fingers blasted him out of his reverie and he dropped the cup to the ground, coffee splattering across the floor and all over the bottom of his pants and shoes.
"God dammit! Son of a bitch…" Ray's hands spread out to his sides and smacked back down to his thighs in exasperation. He looked around for a wall to punch, which surprised him. He was a good time guy party guy, not a violent one.
The break room door burst open and Weaver flew in the room, ice in her glare. "What the heck is going on here Ray? You do realize you are in a hospital right and not a bar room?
He gulped. Weaver's glance could freeze a bonfire.
"Kerry," The look grew colder. "I mean Dr.Weaver, I am sorry alright. I burned my hand and then I dropped the coffee all over the floor." His hand swept in front of him indicating the mess.
Kerry shook her head in disgust. "Well then Ray, call housekeeping and have them come clean it up. I need you out in Exam Room four, we have a guy that let his chain saw get away from him and it is lodged in his leg."
Ray winced. And he was bitchin about a burn. He made his way to the phone and punched in the number for housekeeping. "I'll be right there Kerry. Dr.Weaver!" he yelled, as Kerry went out the door, holding it open momentarily for Dubenko to enter.
Dubenko smiled good naturedly at the cold countenance of the Chief of Staff. She was a formidable woman. His glance then strayed to Ray, who was pacing back and forth on the phone, shaking his hand in the air.
"Dr. Barnett, are you ok?"
Ray grimaced and semi shook his head, extending his hand to the mess before him.
"I guess not," Dubenko said, speaking to himself more than to Ray who was advising the housekeeping staff about the spill. He pulled several paper towels from the dispenser over the sink and placed them on the floor to soak up the liquid and walked over to Ray as he hung up the phone.
Ray looked at the
surgeon, perplexed by his proximity. The man was standing directly in
front of him, looking at him strangely. Granted, it was Dubenko, but
it still was strange.
He scratched the back of his head. "Look
man, is there something I can help you with?"
Dubenko gave him an assessing look. "I was thinking the same thing, Dr. Is there something on your mind you would like to talk about?"
Rays eyebrows rose quizzically. "Um no. I don't think so." He gestured for the door. "I really have to go help Dr. Weaver in Exam 4."
Dubenko looked at the floor, lost in thought. "Oh yes, the chainsaw patient. I am sure that I will be seeing him in the OR. Too bad Dr. Ragostra won't be able to assist me again. She did great this afternoon by the way."
Once again, Ray looked at the senior doctor. Why was he telling him this? Regardless of the question in his mind, he could not help but feel proud of Neela. He made his way towards the door. "Wow, hey that is great." His hand felt the escape of the knob.
"All things considered that is. She did great."
Ray looked back, "…all things considered? Is she ok?" Damn, he went for the worm.
Dubenko hid his smile. "Yes, it was a little hectic, distracting, with the proposal and all…"
Ray found himself getting more exasperated. Didn't the guy know this was old news? He opened the door and stepped out while speaking. "Well, she's had some time to process that now so…"
Dubenko spoke quickly as the door started to swing shut. "…if you call Dr. Gallant asking her to get married today time to process…" He jumped when the door immediately swung back in, propelled by the slap of Ray's hand.
"WhaTTTT?"
"I am sorry Dr. I know you are running late but I thought you knew... Dr.Ragostra and Dr. Gallant are getting married today. This afternoon." He watched as a myriad of emotions ran through the younger man's face. He really was quite transparent with his expressions if one took the time to observe. He looked keenly at Ray as he started to laugh sardonically and shake his head.
"Great! Thanks Dr. If you see her again, give her my regards." He needed to get the hell out of here.
Dubenko stepped out in the hallway with Ray and placed his hand lightly on his shoulder, immediately feeling the tension that lay underneath. "I will but I am pretty sure she was looking for you. She said something about feeling pretty bad about not telling her roommate."
Ray looked sharply at Dubenko and snorted. "Right. I gotta go." He strode off towards exam room 4 which was distinctly marked by a seething Kerry standing outside with her hand on her hip.
"Ray!" she seethed. She stepped back slightly at the look on his face; a hint of a lost puppy masked by a mix of both chagrin and anger, and closed her mouth. They would discuss it later.
Neela looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her mother would just shit if she could see her now. She was dressed in the white sari she had given her several years ago when her parents had dared to broach the subject of an arranged marriage and Neela had exploded. She laughed out loud, quite similarly to how she had responded that day. Her mother had been so mad at her refusal to an arranged marriage; she had sent her this sari the very next day, believing that her eldest daughter would die an old maid and could wear this at her funeral. She reflected on her conversation with Michael earlier that day, which further exemplified the differences in their backgrounds. He didn't seem to mind that in her culture you wore white sari's to funerals and wore red at weddings. His logic was that she would be honoring the American tradition of wearing white, while still wearing a sari in honor of her ancestry. After much debate, she had conceded. She supposed that would be the first of many compromises she would make as a married woman.
"Bloody hell, what are you doing Ragostra?" she whispered. She looked around the empty room hoping no one had intruded on her prep session. She purposefully had used the OR dressing room to get away from the prying eyes and constant questions from her fellow ER peers. If Morris had looked at her and mouthed "What the hell" while making a universal crazy sign around his ear one more time, she was going to put a scalpel between his beady little eyes.
She fingered the delicate material of her sari. She had to admit it was beautiful but she still questioned the decision to wear it today. It felt like a betrayal. Granted, she was not exactly 100 in line with the traditions of her Punjabi heritage so the sari color she would ultimately get over but…getting married without her parents consent or presence? Her stomach hurt just thinking about it, yet the rebellious streak in her had still agreed to go through with it. They would no doubt blow a fuse when she told them. The key being "when" she told them. She blew out a long breath. Well, it was now or never wasn't it? She had a little less than a half hour to get to the lounge after what could be described as the longest, most surreal day in her life. And it wasn't even over! After Michael had proposed that they get married today and she had crazily said yes, she had scrambled to get everything in line and had had no time to think of anything else; her actions, her family, what she would think tomorrow, Ray… She had never found Ray and she stopped and stared blindly at herself. God she was a coward. Neela shook her head resolutely, stuffed her scrubs and personal belongings in her bag and made her way out of the locker room.
Ray and Haleh wheeled the chainsaw patient down the hallway towards the OR elevator. He didn't even feel Haleh watching him pensively as he looked down at the tubes and oxygen connected to the patient, lost in thought. Sure, his fuckin heart was splitting in two but he had not nearly lost his life the first day on the job like this dude. He had to count his blessings. Like the man, no kid, on the stretcher before him, he would survive somehow. He was a Barnett wasn't he? Resilient above all else? Him first, others second? He would get past this… the same way he always did. Booze, women and tunes… They hadn't failed him before…He laughed remorsefully. Who the hell was he kidding? He was as fuckin lonely as the next guy. Or he had been… until Neela. She had found a way in where no one else had tread and now she was leaving him. His loneliness would be even worse now. He had had a taste of something he hadn't had before. A connection. He smiled wryly. He didn't "connect" with women. He boffed the hell out of them and walked away. It had to be a sign that he had not been able to find her. She deserved to be happy. Hell, he had pulled so much shit as her roommate, he was surprised she had not bailed sooner. There was definitely a reason they had not crossed paths any more today. He sensed that somehow he would have made a fool of himself. This way was better. The next time he would see her alone, she would be a married woman and she would be safe. He would be safe.
He looked up at the piercing eyes of Haleh upon him.
"WHAT?" he said tersely.
"I ain't sayin nothin!" she responded indignantly. "Nothing that the rest of the ER ain't thinkin," she muttered under her breath, shaking her head at the stupidity of the young and their inability to see what was right in front of them.
Neela sighed impatiently. These bloody hospital elevators! She should put together a case on how long she had to wait for the service elevators, which were supposed to be that much faster than the standard elevators. She pressed the lit button again for the tenth time, realizing that it was futile. She looked down at her attire and at the stairway to the right of her. Bother! This was ridiculous. She made her way through the stairway door and looked up at the freshly washed stairs in front of her, oblivious to the chime out in the hallway indicating that the elevator had finally arrived.
The elevator door opened and Ray stopped short at the distinct smell of perfume that wafted into the elevator as he began to wheel the patient out, causing Haleh to curse at him. "DR! You just pushed the stretcher back over my foot. Move!"
Ray
winced. Haleh could be just as commandeering as Dr.Weaver sometimes.
"I'm sorry, I just um…" He looked at the glaring nurse behind
him and closed his mouth. "Ok, ok, I am going." He moved forward
and breathed deeply to bring the aroma further into his senses. Like
that was necessary. He would be eighty and still remember her smell.
He pushed the gurney forward with a jolt, further aggravating
Haleh.
"Did you get your drivers license at Sears?"
"K-Mart," Ray answered dryly.
"Hmmmpf." Haleh glared once again and thumped the chart on the OR counter announcing their arrival and distracting the clerk from ogling Ray, of which she could not help noticing, he was oblivious to. "We need a sign off on the transfer of Jeff Garbriele for Dr. Dubenko. Dr. Barnett will wait for it."
Ray turned around abruptly. "What? Hey!" His mouth dropped slightly as Haleh smiled facetiously at him and left the OR. There was no such thing as rank when it came to an ER nurse who had probably been at the hospital longer than he was alive.
Neela gingerly made her way up the wet stairs, carefully holding her sari clenched in her hands so that the bottom did not get ruined. She prayed that the material would not wrinkle too badly from being wadded up in her fists. As she hit the first landing, she hitched her bag on her shoulder and felt that sense of alarm one has when they realize something does not feel right and they are missing an article or belonging. She let out a stream of expletives. Wedding Days were pure rubbish. She had been in such a hurry to get out of the locker room; she had grabbed her overnight bag and not her purse. She turned around in a huff and made her way back down the stairs.
Ray was absorbed in thought as he stepped on the elevator. It felt like he had waited forever for the signature to sign off his patient and even longer than that for the damn elevator. He leaned his back against the wall and smiled slightly as he remembered one of Neela's late night rants about the reliability of the elevators reserved for transferring patients versus hospital visitors etc. Bemused, he watched the doors close before him and jumped when he heard a shout from the hallway. His reflexes quick, Ray punched the open door button just in time. He could swear his heart stopped as the person who was just in his thoughts launched herself into the elevator without looking up.
"God, thank you so much, this has been such a blighter of a da …" Neela's mouth felt dry as she finally picked her head up and saw the figure before her. "Ray?" She cursed her traitorous voice for coming out in a whisper.
Ray stared back at her, his own eyes big. She looked beautiful. She literally took his breath away. He cursed the luck of Michael Gallant while cursing his own inability to speak. Here she was, he had been looking to talk to her all day and now what?
Neela recovered her equilibrium and folded her arms across her chest. What was his problem? This dress didn't even flaunt her chest so why was he staring? "Have you got an eyeful now Ray?" She dared not believe he found her attractive.
Ray coughed, covering his school boy moment. "Who me?" His trademark grin returned as he looked at her appraisingly. "Sure, I um, I was just wondering Neela, why you are wearing your funeral attire your Mom sent you?" He silently congratulated himself on his quick comeback and blasted himself for not just being truthful. Her look immediately showed her irritation with him.
Neela cursed the powers of tequila and it's ability to loosen lips. She must have told Ray her full life story over the course of the past few months because of it.
"I'm getting married today you wanker. I'm in America, might as well go with the flow, as you always like to say." She sighed, why did she always go on the attack?
Ray cocked his head and looked at her thoughtfully, the words tumbling from his lips. "Why now?"
Neela swallowed the boulder in her throat. She had wondered if he would ask that question. She should have known he would inquire, just like Abby did. They were similar. Abby approached love with her head and Ray approached it with his penis; neither of them trusting their hearts. "Because," she answered lamely. Perhaps she didn't think at all?
Ray snorted, trying to hide his hurt. "Because? What kind of answer is that Ragostra?"
"It's an answer that doesn't take a lot of time Ray. Something I don't have that much of right now." She looked impatiently at her watch and once again cursed the elevator. Bloody hunk of metal. She pushed the floor number again for good measure and looked away. His gaze could be so penetrating. She sensed him stepping forward and she felt her hands get clammy.
Ray positioned himself behind Neela and reached around and hit the elevator stop button. His words caressed her ear. "I have wanted to talk to you."
Neela's ears rang and her hand whipped out and pushed the button to put the elevator in motion again. "Stop it Ray."
Again he leaned over her shoulder and pushed the button, speaking more urgently. "Neela?" The contact of his chest against her back triggered the pulse in her neck. What the hell was her problem? Her elbow came back as if on a hinge and struck him in the stomach. She heard the distinct sound of his grunt, similar to the day he had his ass kicked by Zoe's father. She had achieved her goal though, he was no longer touching her.
"What the hell is with this hospital? I get my ass kicked all the time!" Ray exclaimed as he held his stomach and stepped in front of her, blocking her from the panel of buttons. He reached behind him while staring directly at her and pushed the Stop button with finality.
"You bring it on yourself Ray." She glared at him as the elevator came to an abrupt stop.
He shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe so. But this isn't about me. It is about you." His voice softened. "Whatsup Neela? Talk to me?"
She rolled her eyes. "About what? I am getting married. I am sorry I didn't tell you about it myself but I promise I will find you a roommate."
Ray shook his head in disbelief, snorting. "I don't care about that! I care about you NEELA." He stopped, what exactly did that reveal? His hand reached out and touched her wrist, his body involuntarily needing contact. "Are you sure about this? It just seems so sudden Neela. I mean do you even know this guy that well?"
Neela stepped back needing distance. God it was blazing in here. "Why do you do that Ray, stand so close? Don't you know about personal space?" It was her turn to snort. "What do mean, know him? Like you know the countless faceless women you traipse through our apartment?"
Ignoring her, Ray stepped forward towards her once again. He challenged. "I don't marry them Neela."
Neela felt her temper flare. "Well I know Michael and what I don't, I will learn about. That is all part of marriage."
"It's also part of dating. Why do you have to get married? I mean are you sure he is the right guy for you?"
Neela looked back at the earnest face of the man in front of her, her mouth dropping open. "God, what happened, did you have a pow wow with Abby this morning? Who is the right guy for me? Morris? Frank? You Ray? " She laughed out loud, cutting Ray to the core, confirming so much. "Michael and I have a lot in common. We have similar views, temperaments…"
Ray laughed out loud, throwing caution to the wind. He had nothing to lose. She didn't feel what he did. "You are kidding right? Neela, you have more fire in your pinky than that dude has in his entire body!" A switch went off in Ray's brain and words spewed from his mouth. Have you ever been dancing with him into the morning? Seen him drunk? Poured your soul out to him? What the hell kind of movies does he even like? What is his favorite food? Can he talk you off a ledge after you made one of the biggest mistakes in your life or career? Do you know if he gets fuckin butterflies in his stomach like some chick whenever you are near him? Can't even think about another woman even though he tries like hell to do so? Ray clamped his mouth shut as Neela's head whipped up to look at him; his last example not quite fitting the scenario.
Her voice trembled. "Rrray?"
Ray's hand slapped against the wall and he turned his body away from her, his other hand dragging through his hair. He blew out his breath and turned back to her, taking in her dark brown eyes, two sizes bigger than before, her mouth opened slightly in shock. He grinned. "Well…" he said matter off factly. "That went a little farther than I planned."
"Ray, I…"
"Look, don't say anything Neela. I know you want someone dependable, loyal, stalwart… It's just hard."
She felt small. Her brain could not digest what was taking place at this very moment. "What is hard Ray?" She surprised herself by reaching out and taking his hand in hers, the doctor in her immediately noticing the burn marks on it. She gently rubbed her fingers over the redness. "What's hard?"
Ray reluctantly pulled his hand away and coughed to cover the uncomfortableness of the situation. He had never been here before. He stared directly into her eyes and spoke the words that haunted him. "Losing you."
Neela's breath caught as he once again turned from her and punched the button, this time requesting the elevator to continue its journey. What was happening here? Had he meant what she thought he did? This was insanity but she couldn't let it end this way. She stepped forward and punched the red button vehemently so the elevator once again buzzed and jolted to a stop.
She looked at him beseechingly, studying him for confirmation. She got it. His eyes were soft, filled with an emotion that scared her beyond all belief. "Ray."
Ray winced shrugging his shoulders to ward off the blow that was yet to come. "Look Neela, can we just forget…"
"No." she said with finality. "We cannot."
He exuded his boyish charm as he said disarmingly, followed by a nervous laugh, "I was afraid of that."
"Listen Ray."
"Dear John," he interjected.
"Stop it." She paused. "I thought you were the biggest wanker I had ever met in my life when I first met you."
Ray thought derisively, note to self, you are an ass for opening up this can of crap. "Well thanks Neela."
She shot him a look. "And then as I got to know you more, I realized you are loyal empathetic, passionate… There are so many things about you Ray." She shook her head in bewilderment as she processed everything. His emotions, hers… "I mean I knew you were different than what you wanted us to believe, especially after that night you convinced Abby to open the ER and stayed all night to help your friends after the balconies collapsed, refusing to leave until you were sure they were alright or when you sat at that baby's bedside because you didn't want him to be alone. I mean, you get pizza's with my favorite toppings, watch things I like on tv…." She stopped herself. Her emotions threatened to take over. Her voice came out more vehement than she had planned. "I hate that there is more to you then meets the eye Ray!"
He looked at her puzzled, intrigued by her respect, which he had always hoped would be there underneath along with something else. Was there anything else there?
She continued. Her voice stricken. "It makes it so hard to…"
The tables had turned. "So hard to what Neela?" Ray took a step forward, his heart beating frantically.
"Hard to tell you…." Her eyes stared into his. She willed herself not to let the tears fall that she felt threatening. She pushed the words out. "That it can never be Ray." She cringed slightly at the flicker of pain that crossed his face. Her next words were rushed. "You and I are from two completely different worlds!"
"Hey, Opposites attract Neela."
"And then they repel Ray. I mean God, look at me. I am a boring, couch potato frump…" She ignored his look of shock and adamant denial. "I am DR JUMBOMART and you, you are, well YOU. Charming, charismatic, a man whore! You would tire of me just like the rest of your harem."
"Neela, I would never tire of you, trust me. You are the only person in my life that keeps me completely entertained." He stopped as he moved towards her; the look on her face completely deterring him from going any further.
"Neela?" It sounded like a plea.
She looked away. "We can't Ray. I can't. Michael…"
Ray bit his lip in frustration and disappointment. "Do you love him Neela?"
She stopped. "He is a good man Ray. I do."
His head bobbed up and down. This was it. "That's cool Neela. I don't steal from others. His hand reached out for the button and he withdrew it. "Can I tell you one more thing?"
Neela wasn't sure she could hear it but he continued on. Her heart stopped as his hands came up to cradle her face, his eyes glistening slightly. She felt her body tremble as his thumbs caressed her cheeks. "I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do this Neela."
Neela felt fear. Not fear of Ray harming her but fear of the force, otherwise known as Ray. Her eyes grew larger as his face loomed over hers and he placed his lips gently on top of hers. A whisper, a kiss so gentle, she wanted to sob. She felt her body automatically drawn towards his as she moved her own lips closer to deepen the kiss. He captured her bottom lip in his and pulled on it slowly, moving sensuously to her top lip and repeating the gesture, his hands never leaving her face. She heard her own murmur of bliss and felt a tear slide down her cheek. Ray brushed it away with his thumb and brought his head back only to return one more time to place a soft cherishing kiss on her lips. She closed her eyes. She could not look at him.
She could feel his whisper across her face. "You are beautiful Neela. Inside and out and I consider myself one of the luckiest guys around for having you in my life." His voice got softer. "I love you Roomie." Neela instantly felt the cold as his hands left her face and her body nearly fell forward, her knees week. She slowly opened her eyes and saw that the elevator doors were sliding open and Ray was stepping out. He thumped the side of the elevator door with the palm of his hand and waved, refusing to look back at her and not allowing her the opportunity to respond.
UP NEXT: A Wedding? cough cough Stay tuned!
