CHAPTER 3
She could feel his whisper across her face. "You are beautiful Neela. Inside and out and I consider myself one of the luckiest guys around for having you in my life." His voice got softer. "I love you Roomie." Neela instantly felt the cold as his hands left her face and her body nearly fell forward, her knees week. She slowly opened her eyes and saw that the elevator doors were sliding open and Ray was stepping out. He thumped the side of the elevator door with the palm of his hand and waved, refusing to look back at her and not allowing her the opportunity to respond.
Neela fell against the elevator wall. "I told you not to call me that," she said to the dead air, swallowing the lump in her throat and straightening her shoulders. She willed herself to shake off the traitorous feelings she felt for Ray. Traitorous and short-lived, a.k.a, - a crush, nothing more. A pure case of wanting something you cannot have, lusting after the elusive "bad boy". The elevator stopped on her floor and she walked off, her head held high, her body trembling inside.
Ray strolled reluctantly into the lounge and immediately made his way to the bar. He was going to need a lot of liquid fortitude to make it through the ceremony. He raised the cold bottle to his lips with anticipation and choked on his first sip as someone thumped him roughly on his back. His temper flared and he looked agitatedly at Morris, who was grinning from ear to ear. "Morris man!"
Morris shirked away from the scowl on Ray's face. "Oh hey sorry Ray," he replied half heartedly. He proceeded to wrinkle his nose. "Do you smell coffee?"
Ray looked down at his coffee splattered pants. "What? NO."
"Huh, thought I smelled it when I walked up." Morris leaned forward on the bar and ordered his drink while Ray flipped him the bird behind his back, causing a burst of female laughter behind him.
Chuni gave Ray a conspiratorial wink and stepped up in between him and Morris. "So Morris, I hear the drinks are on you, you lost the pool." Chuni looked around and sniffed. "Do you smell coffee?" She and Morris burst out laughing as Ray sneered at them both.
"What pool and how come I wasn't cut in?"
Morris looked at Chuni warningly. "Um well."
"WHAT?" Ray said heatedly.
Morris clapped him on the shoulder. "It was about you Sid. Whether or not you would come to the ceremony or find a way to get out of it…": his voice trailed off as the a thunderous look appeared on Ray's face. He held his arms up in defense. "All in good fun man!"
Ray shook his head at his co-workers and gulped back the remnants of his beer, smacking the empty bottle down upon the bar. "Guess I need another beer then, Archie," he goaded. "In fact, double me up."
"Perhaps he won't be here after all," Chuni said dryly, exchanging a knowing glance with Morris as Frank approached them, calling out his order for a glass of Cabernet. The three looked at him quizzically. Frank and a fine red wine did not equate.
"Hey, he said defensively, "you are in the medical profession. It's a proven fact that a glass of red wine can make you healthier." He raised his eyebrow at Ray who held a beer in each hand. "You got that Doc? Hey, does it smell like coff…"
"ALRIGHT!" Ray exclaimed. He shot each of them a dirty sneer. "I am going to change my pants. I thought I wouldn't have time." He once again raised his beer to his lips, draining the bottle and reached forward to attempt to guzzle his third.
"You better get going Ray, if you want to make it back in time," Chuni warned.
Ray stared blankly at Chuni, his mind contemplating the temptation of not returning as his co-workers had wagered on. He looked quizzically at Morris as he drew him aside, whispering loudly in his ear, causing Chuni and Frank to both turn their heads to hide their smirks. "You sure you want to come back man? What if you blurt out an objection to the nuptials?" Ray pulled his head back, his expression telling Morris exactly what he could do with his thoughts. He turned on his heel and nodded to Chuni and Frank and headed for the door.
Morris cleared his throat and called out, "We'll save you a seat man! Front Row!"
Neela stepped into the lounge, her wide brown eyes surveying the room and its inhabitants as they all turned to immediately gaze at her. She barely registered who was even there, but immediately knew that someone was missing. She blinked at the tears that misted her eyes and immediately focused her attention on the stage in front of her. Jerry stood prominently in his minister robes and Neela felt an insane urge to burst out laughing. This was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. At that moment, Michael stepped out from the shadows and smiled beamingly at her. He was so sure and confident that they were doing the right thing. Neela smiled hesitantly back. He was a good man; a solid, hardworking man that loved her. He would make a wonderful husband and a fantastic father. She could do this. It was going to be ok. She took a step forward and zoned completely until she reached the stage and Michael held out his hand for her to step up next to him.
Ray rummaged through his locker and looked agitatedly at his watch. Maybe he missed it. He had taken his time getting back to the ER, opting for walking versus a taxi. There was nothing in his locker to change into. He sighed and made his way over to the scrub cupboard and hastily threw on a pair of scrub pants and threw his coffee stained pants in his locker. His eyes lingered over the name on the locker next to him as he wondered if she would change the lettering to the name of Gallant. The thought of it turned his insides and he smacked his hand against the locker. Suck it up man. You were living in a dream world thinking she would consider you. Who would choose Goofus, when they could have Gallant? He reluctantly made his way out of the locker room back towards the lounge reflecting on his hatred for Highlights magazine, even as a kid. He smiled ruefully; except for the Timbertones of course. He had fantasized about a family like that. Fruity as they were.
Neela felt her palms sweating as Michael held her hands in his. He had just professed his vows and was looking at her expectantly as Jerry began her portion. She squeezed his hand and opened her mouth to repeat what Jerry had just said, only to be interrupted by the lounge door swinging open with a flourish. The congregation, including Michael and Neela, turned to look at the intruder. Neela froze when she saw the apologetic face of her roommate, his eyes veiled as he looked at her intensely. She bit her lip when she saw him turn away from her and back up into the shadows, hiding any further expressions. She cleared her throat and looked back at Michael, who smiled encouragingly, while a trace of fear and hesitancy flitted across his face. He rubbed her hand soothingly when Jerry spoke, indicating that she should repeat what he said. She felt frozen in time, unable to move or speak. This was the moment of truth. Why was she standing in front of one man on the verge of reciting her vows of loyalty and love when her mind would not allow her to escape the image and intensity of what she felt for the lone figure in the back of the room?
Michael sensed her hesitation. "Neela?" He looked at her expectantly and Neela looked back wide eyed. She felt her lip tremble and saw Michael's concern and the question in Jerry's eyes. She turned towards the congregation and could barely register the look of concern on Abby's face, as well as, Weaver's. Her heart stopped at Dubenko's raised eyebrow and the imperceptible shake of his head. His look penetrated the fog and she blinked at him as he once again shook his head a fraction. Had everyone else noticed it or maybe she was imagining it? The air felt close, she fought off the ever growing sense of claustrophobia.
Ray felt his palms sweating. This was it. She was moving forward. He couldn't begrudge her… her happiness. She was staying true to what she believed was right for her and deep down, he knew it too. He was not the kind of guy that could hold on to a woman like Neela. She might feel something intense for him but he knew only too well how feelings could sway so quickly and that it would probably only be a matter of time before her feelings turned to hatred. He watched as Neela surveyed the crowd and paused when she looked at Dubenko and back at Michael. He couldn't do this. He couldn't witness the finality of her leaving his life. He had let himself stray into an unknown world and now he knew why he had avoided it at all costs. It hurt. He had put his heart on the line and put himself out there. It hurt like hell. He stepped backwards silently and slipped out the door unnoticed as the congregation focused on Neela.
Neela cleared her throat… her voice came out soft, barely a whisper. "Michael I…"
She saw the hopeful look on Michael's face instantly turn to one of dread and disappointment.
"Neela," Michael's voice came out pleading. "It will be…"
She shook her head vehemently, closing herself off to any words of persuasion, or for that matter, forgiveness and understanding. She didn't want to hear him tell her it was ok to not go through with it. It would be one more example of what an upstanding individual he was. What was wrong with her that she could consider pushing him away? She was a horrible, horrible person and she knew that Michael would overlook that even when he should hate her forever. She had to be bloody insane. Michael Gallant was a catch. Everyone said so. So why was she standing here reliving a few heart palpitating moments on a service elevator along with the past several months of her life since she had roomed with Ray? She had felt a spark deep down in her belly from the moment she had met him that had made her feel more alive than she had in years. She was a sodding fool. She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. She was throwing away THIS for the hint of a God knows WHAT, that was guaranteed to be doomed from the start, if there even WAS a start. Ray Barnett, king of the rock star set and Neela Rasgotra, queen of the sensible pumps and white cotton underwear? He would laugh her out of the bedroom.
Neela's eyes flew open wide at the thought. She was in the middle of her wedding vows, imagining herself together in a bedroom with Ray. She chastised herself. Who is the wanker now, Rasgotra? A sob emitted from her throat and her hand flew to her mouth. "I ca… I can't do this…" Her voice rose in pitch as Michael hung his head at her words. She dared not look into the congregation. She couldn't bear the look in everyone's eyes. Abby might feel bad but she was sure to have a hint of "I told you so" and Pratt? She didn't dare look to see his disapproval. And Ray? What of Ray? What was he thinking? Or more importantly, WHERE was he? She questioned the feeling she had, yet again, that he was no longer even in the room. Large crocodile tears flowed down her face, leaving a slight trail in her make up. Her voice came out hoarse, "I just can't…" She watched Michael bite his lips together as he stared at her intently. Before she knew it, she felt her feet slap against the hard, unforgiving sidewalk outside of the bar.
"NEELA! NEELA! Please… just wait." Neela heard Michael's plea and froze, her heart ramming into her chest. She stayed facing forward, afraid to see the look on his face, his footsteps getting closer and closer. She held her breath as he grabbed her arm and turned her around gently. "Talk to me Neela, I know this was all so fast for you. I was rushing you."
Her head fell forward; she didn't want to look at him. "Michael…" She allowed his hand under her chin to guide her head up so he could look into her eyes. His sharp intake of breath indicated that he was able to read the chagrin, guilt and helplessness that he saw there.
"It's not that, is it?"
Neela's lips trembled as her body shook as she tried to tame the wild emotions. "I am so very sorry Michael, I…" She looked away from him and up at the sky and to her side, searching for more words.
Gallant smiled sadly. "You don't ever want to marry me."
"I," she began.
"You've moved on. I have been away too long. Too much."
She shook her head. "I don't know, I love you Michael, I do, but just…"
"Not enough." He paused and looked at her intently. "I knew we were different since I returned. I could tell that there was something off from how it used to be and hell, I don't know." He scratched the back of his head, searching for what was missing. "Maybe I proposed to see if it would come back. That we just needed time all alone to be like we used to be."
"I've changed."
Michael looked at her thoughtfully. "Yeah, you do Tequila Shooters and listen to hard ro…. He stepped back and his eyes widened. "Oh my God Neela, it's Barnett!"
Neela looked at him in shock and reached out her hand to draw him back "NO!" she refuted adamantly. YES!" Her hand dropped and she turned herself around in a circle, looking for the answer. "I DON'T BLOODY KNOW! And for the record, I have ALWAYS listened to rock music!" She glared at the people in the street that turned around to stare. "BUGGER OFF!"
Gallant spoke softly. "Neela, you are making a scene." He smiled apologetically to the people that still lingered, watching them as if they were a live soap opera.
"That's it," she said with defeat. "I want more."
"More what Neela?"
"More, More, more passion, more of the unknown, everything is so mellow and, and, and I want something… You tell me we are making a scene after I just left you at the altar. After I just admit to you that I don't know if I have a thing for Ray and… YOU, should be making a scene Michael! YOU should want MORE!"
"I want to be happy Neela. Settled."
Neela sighed. "We all want to be happy Michael. Are you really happy with me?" She heard the frustration in her own voice. Did he want to marry her because it was the right thing to do? He is happiest when he does the right thing. "I know you are happiest when you are curing the sick, fighting for our country… but really, are you happy with me?" Abby's words filtered through her mind and she spoke them. "Do you really even know me?"
It was Michael's turn to hesitate. "I think I am. I think I do."
Ok, then. She was in a mad rush. "What is my number one craving when I have my period?"
"What? Neela," Michael grinned self consciously, surprised by her question. "I don't know?"
"Spaghetti sauce with anchovies."
She continued…"My favorite program on the telly?"
Michael looked puzzled. "Um, Jeopardy?"
"No Michael, that is yours. I just watch it with you."
"Look Neela, I can lear…"
She cut him off, forcing herself to remain strong. "My guilty pleasure?"
As she asked, the image of Ray coming home early from work and catching her reading a heaving bosom novel flashed in her mind and she suppressed a smile. He had come home early and surprised her so that she had guiltily hid the book under her bottom. Before she had even fully registered that he was there, he had whipped the book out from under her and let out a loud peal of laughter. He had been merciless in his teasing of her and she had chased him around the apartment to retrieve the book he held out of her reach, while he read passages in a false breathless voice. She had slapped him in the stomach and had almost been able to reach the book but he surprised her by turning the tables and cornering her, pinning her up against the wall with his body and reading her a long, sultry passage in a more serious tone that made the pulse in her neck jump and her cheeks flame. He had cleared his own throat and moved off of her, handing her the book and making a sarcastic remark. He had said something funny then but she couldn't remember what it was…but she remembered the laughing. They had been giddy.
"Neela?" Michael inquired. He had been speaking to her but she was oblivious.
Neela jumped. "I, uh sorry. I was lost in thought."
"And I have lost you." He said with finality.
She didn't respond, her silence providing him with her answer.
Michael nodded and shuffled his feet for a moment. "Be happy Neela. Be true to yourself." He turned and walked away, his head held high, always the soldier.
"Good Bye Michael," she whispered. She watched him go, her eyes filling with tears as she cursed herself and Ray Barnett.
Ray sat at the bar at Ike's, staring at his full beer, which was now bordering on room temperature. Earlier, he had been ready to hammer down mass quantities to dull the edge, but since he had come into Ike's after leaving the wedding, he had just sat and stared at the glass, thinking about her, torturing himself like some love sick puppy. His best friend, his roomie, the only girl that had the power to make him feel "love" was now Mrs. Michael Gallant, which meant she was "his" nothing. He sighed in frustration and ignored the blonde across the bar that was desperately trying to get his attention. It was time to get out of here, she was moving towards him and he wanted no part of it. He could go to Brett's and jam to a really loud and obnoxious rock song till the neighbors banged on the walls. That always made him feel better. He stood resolutely and chugged the tepid beer, threw a five dollar bill on the bar with a nod and strode towards the door. As he wrenched open the door, he could not help feeling like a nimrod for even suggesting that she and Michael use his apartment for their honeymoon night. He was a glutton for punishment. Ray made his way down the street towards Brett's and changed his mind. It wouldn't kill him to take a quick walk to the bar where the wedding took place. There was no way Gallant was still partying with the ER diehards. If he had any clue, he was back at the love shack with Neela.
"RAAaaaaaayyyyy!" Morris yelled in a very inebriated state. "Duuuuuude, where have you been man, you missed it.' He sloppily put his arm around his friend.
Ray shrugged his shoulders in attempt to loosen Morris' hold and also to appear nonchalant as he accepted the beer Chuni handed him. "I got lost. I'll congratulate them tomorrow."
"Congratulate?" Morris said shrilly. He looked at the others and laughed, nodding his head back at Ray obnoxiously. "Pickin up the pieces is more like it."
Ray shook his head and screwed up his face, slapping Morris with his most fierce "what the F-ck" look" he possessed. He lied through his teeth. "I don't need to pick up any pieces man."
Morris snickered. Even wasted, he showed some moronic insight. "Sid, I am not talking about you. You are already in pieces. I am talking about that poor slob over there."
Ray followed his stare and his gaze fell upon a sloppy, slouching Michael Gallant, who was sitting across from Pratt. Neela was nowhere in sight.
"What the hell is going on?" He looked from Chuni to Frank and back at Morris who was studying him intently.
He sighed at Morris. "Cut it out, what the heck is up?"
"Runaway Bride dude!"
"WHATTT?"
Chuni spoke. "Neela, she couldn't go through with it. We don't know what happened exactly, except for the fact that Gallant came back in alone and proceeded to do mass quantities of shots."
Ray's stomach dropped, flip-flopped, rolled … She didn't marry him. He was speechless, his jaw slack. This was a mess. His thoughts went immediately to Neela but he could not help but feel for Gallant. He felt a hard thump on his back from Morris. "I know man, who knew Gallant could get trashed."
"What? You are a headcase Morris. Look at the poor guy, he is miserable. Where the heck is Neela? Did you even try to get her to change her mind?"
The conversation stopped and his co-workers turned to him incredulously.
Morris rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and circled his finger around his ear. "Who is the headcase now?"
Ray growled and unthinkingly made his way over to Gallant. He was halfway to the table and didn't even see Pratt until he was directly in front of him. He spoke in a fervent whisper. "Are you freakin insane man? Leave the dude alone." Ray pushed forward and Pratt planted his large hand in the middle of his chest.. "Dude, I ain't kidding you on this one. Don't rub salt in the wound."
"Pratt, what the hell are you talking about? I just want to talk to the guy, see how Neela is."
Pratt leaned in and spoke emphatically in his ear. "You are the last person that needs to ask how Neela is."
"Pratt man, I didn't do a thing. I don't have anything to do with this."
Pratt laughed. "You white boys can be seriously stupid."
"Hey."
Pratt poked him in the chest. "Hey nothin Ray, leave it alone."
"No man, I was just going to say, hey he is…" At that moment Gallant walked up to Ray and Pratt and held out his hand. "right here."
On alert, Pratt positioned himself between them, unsure of what would take place.
"Move out of the way Greg." Gallant said solemnly and held his hand out to Ray.
Ray looked at him questioningly. What the hell was going on here? He extended his own hand and Gallant shook it.
"Take care of her. Make her happy."
Ray swallowed the lump in his throat. This was crazy, he had never expected the night to end like this. "Look dude, Michael, I…"
Gallant cut him off as Pratt stood to the side, shaking his head in complete wonder. "You can't help who you are drawn to. She can't help it. I shouldn't have left her alone for so long. I should have stayed and got under her skin more." He dropped his hand from Ray's grasp and pointed at Ray, his stance wavering ever so slightly. "Take care of her. If you don't, then I WILL be back to kick your ass. With my squad. You won't get up." He turned on his heel, walked past Morris, Chuni and Frank, mock saluted and was gone.
Ray felt like crap, while his mind raced. Had Neela called off the wedding because of him? He and Pratt stared at the door that Gallant had just exited from and turned to each other, speaking at the same time. "She's insane."
Neela sat slumped on the couch, still dressed in her wedding/funeral attire and reached forward to the six pack for her fourth beer. She stared balefully at the clock on the VCR. It was two am on what was to be her wedding night and she was sitting in the dark, alone, getting pissed. Your mum was right Rasgotra, you will be an old maid. The first time you think with your heart and you muck it up royally. Ray was probably out getting some and Michael was somewhere, anywhere, stoically nursing his wounds, while everyone else is slamming you for being a total fool.
Ray placed his ear to the door and listened for signs of life in the apartment. Hearing none, he inserted the key and turned the knob quietly. He had opted to not stay at Bret's, as was the original plan, since his place was crawling with groupies intent on making the moves on him even though he was no longer in the band and he knew he would never sleep if he did not go check on Neela. He had stayed away as long as he could, assuming that Neela needed time alone and that he might be the last person she would want to see at the moment. He rued the fact that Neela leaving Gallant at the altar may not work out the best for him in the long run, if it was even destined to work out at all. She was a complicated woman and her guilt over the situation could make his relationship with her more than a bit dicey.
As he stepped into the apartment, he let his eyes adjust to the darkness. He figured Neela must be sleeping. Knowing her tendency to be a light sleeper, he quietly made his way across the living room to his bedroom.
"I've ruined everything."
Ray jumped and turned towards the couch. "Geez Neela!"
"YOU'VE ruined everything." Her voice sounded forlorn and perplexed, rather than harshly accusing, yet Ray still felt like a total ass. However, if she felt that he ruined everything, there could be the chance that she did leave Michael at the altar because of him. He felt a glimmer of hope buried within his remorse that she was miserable. He stepped towards her, noticing the littered beer bottles on the coffee table. "Neela. I…"
"Why did you have to kiss me? Why did you have to tell me you loved me?" Again she sounded perplexed as if she was asking herself versus him.
Ray sat beside her and cringed when she shifted away from him slightly. "I don't really know why Neela," he said softly. "I didn't plan it. I didn't know what to do with it," he trailed off. "I just wanted you to know."
"Well now I know." She said matter-of-factly. She didn't add that she was petrified. She couldn't be what he wanted.
Ray frowned as he nodded his head up and down, assessing the situation. It wasn't good, glimmer of hope fading. He cleared his throat. This had been an emotionally charged day and he didn't want it to self destruct any further. "Right. Um, I guess I will just go to bed then." He rose and moved towards his room, stopping only briefly to add. "I am sorry Neela." He didn't wait for a response.
Neela turned as if in slow motion. She willed herself to answer Ray but found she was speechless. She was exhausted, emotionally drained and she needed her bed. Stat. She stood up, wobbled slightly and made her way to her room. She stared at her reflection in the mirror as she removed her jewelry and stuck her tongue out at herself. Ray hadn't ruined everything, it was really her. Her fingers fumbled with her sari trying to find the end piece of the fabric that would allow her to unwrap it. She wanted it off and she wanted it off now. It had been a jinx to wear funeral attire to her wedding. She never wanted to see the dress again. It represented one of her most embarrassing moments. Her hands patted around her waist trying to find a point of where she could start. Alcohol, nerves, and the late hour ganged up on her, making it difficult, therefore causing her to cry out in frustration. "RAY!" Neela's eyes grew wide. She hadn't meant to yell that! She frantically went towards her door, which she had forgot to close, hoping he had not heard her and would not knock if it was closed. Too late. As she picked up her head, he stood before her in his standard sleeping attire. Boxers and socks. She loved that about Ray. The fact that he wore socks to bed, somehow it added a whole new dimension to him.
Ray stood at Neela's doorway, puzzled. His hair was slightly disheveled from the repeated thread of his fingers through it as he sat in his room pondering whether he should have expressed his feelings to her earlier in the day. "Neela?" he spoke softly. "Whatsup?"
"Nothing, never mind. I didn't mean to call you." She spoke in a rush as her hands still grabbed at her waist.
"Are you sure?" His tone was worried. His eyes immediately went to her abdomen. "Are you feeling alright?"
"No! I mean yes, I feel fine but no I am not alright! All I want to do is go to sleep Ray and forget about this STUPID day and I can't… I can't get this bloody sari off!" She sat on her bed and put her head in her hands. "ARRGGH!" She didn't need to look up to know that he had crossed the room. She felt the warmth of his presence in front of her and the gentle touch of his hand on hers, pulling her up.
"Stand up Neela."
Neela stood and trembled slightly at the feeling of his breath on her face.
"So um, where do I start?" He pulled at the diaphanous fabric at her shoulder, playfully. "Is this thing booby trapped?"
She looked up to find him smirking at her and resisted the strong urge she had to kiss that smirk. "Shut up, Ray." He taunted her with the smirk everyday and everyday she fought the traitor within her that wanted to feel those lips upon hers. Neela shook her head, clearing the heavy cobwebs that had apparently formed there. "Um, uh, the pallu comes off first… She held her breath as he once again touched the fabric at her shoulder and it loosened from where it was tucked in at her waist. She spoke to cover her nerves that started to twitch and to make sure Ray could not hear the pounding of her heart. "Haleh helped me get dressed but I am not sure how she did the pleats, she might have even pinned it for all I know because I can't seem to…" Neela giggled slightly as Ray's hands rested on her waist. However, as his hands slid around her, looking for the starting or end point, she squelched the gasp that threatened to escape her lips. Those hands, Ray's hands. She had not anticipated her body's instant reaction. "Oh God, please don't let me do anything stupid."
Ray held his breath. She felt warm and her perfume wafted up to his nostrils. His hands were around his roomie's waist. How many times had he dreamed of this moment as he lay with some random girl? His fingers itched to travel elsewhere but instead, he plucked at a pleat and it came lose. "Alright, now we are getting some where!"
He smirked the word "Sorry" when Neela cut him the evil eye and proceeded about his task. His hands pulled at the silky fabric until all the pleats were loosened and several yards of material were bunched in his hands. He had to talk to himself the whole way through, willing his body to not react to the sensuality of the fabric and the heat emanating from her skin. He looked at her expectantly. "Uh, now what?" He averted his gaze from the smooth plane of her midriff. He needed out of here before he completely unwrapped her and threw her on the bed.
"Um, I can take over now. Thanks." she said quietly. He handed her the material and she made to unwrap it behind her back and stumbled. Ray immediately reached out and caught her arm.
"Bullocks!" she hissed. She was making herself look like a stumbling drunk. A tear slipped from her eye and she hung her head.
"Hey Roomie, it's ok. I mean come on, how many times have you had to pick me up off the floor? Ok, well, so you left me there since I wouldn't budge…but you always covered me with a blanket." He continued quickly as more tears trickled down her cheeks. "You're exhausted. Where's your pajamas? Do you have a big shirt or something?"
Neela lifted a listless arm and pointed towards the middle drawer of her dresser. Still holding on to her, Ray opened the drawer with his free hand and rummaged for a pair of pajamas. He pulled out a white lacy negligee, complete with the tags. Hell no. He threw it back in the drawer and pulled out a pair of flannels and a shirt.
Neela looked at the sweats longingly. "Can you unwrap the rest?" She should be embarrassed but she was too tired.
"Sure." Ray unwrapped the rest of the sari until she stood before him in a small tight blouse that ended just below her bust and what looked to be a half slip. His breath caught. Her hair had fallen out of her bun and several wisps framed her face. He couldn't help staring at her. "You are beautiful." He whispered.
Neela laughed a bit hysterically. "I'm not." Her fears and feelings got the best of her. "I am frumpy Ray. Boring. Bland."
He couldn't believe his ears. Ray's eyes roamed over her caressingly. "Not even close."
The look in his eyes thrilled her and frightened her. "I am not your type. You like them wild… LOUD."
Ray's eyes grew large. What was she saying? He knew he shouldn't tease her but that rarely stopped him before. He took a step forward. "So, what are you saying?" Another step… "You don't scream?" Without thinking, he traced his finger across her bottom lip, wanting to capture it between his own.
Neela slapped his hand away feeling a strong current sweep through her. "No, I, I don't even know if I like se…" She stopped abruptly. Why was she telling him this?
Ray moved closer undeterred. He was close enough for his chest to graze against her breasts and Neela was shocked by the instant hardening. Ray knew he shouldn't take advantage of the situation but he needed to touch her, feel her lips on his. His hands encircled her face and he leaned down and whispered in her ear. "So you are saying, you think you are frigid? Because I don't believe it." His lips crushed down on hers as she nodded her head in agreement and Neela felt the passion that he had for her, even more intensely than the kiss in the elevator. She slumped into him, her body felt like liquid and she surprised herself by returning his kiss with a fervor she didn't think she possessed. It was HER tongue that slid into his mouth. HER hands that wound around his neck. HER fingers that intertwined in his hair, pulling him closer to her. She wanted more and she felt like she couldn't get enough.
Ray reveled in the sensation of Neela writhing in his arms. The kiss was explosive and rocked him. His hand was poised directly below the swell of her breast and he was painfully aware of the hardness between his legs and the bed behind hers but he checked himself. Not tonight. She was kissing him but he still did not know what her feelings were. He needed her in his life and he wasn't going to let the potential for a one night stand ruin that, he could wait it out to see how she felt. He needed to play this one right. Begrudgingly, he pulled his lips away slightly, his forehead still tightly connected with hers, his breathing slightly ragged. Neela pulled him back in, placing her lips against his. "Ray," she pleaded.
"Neela," he whispered. "Not tonight." He cringed when she went to pull away from him.
"See, I told you…"
He held her tight. "Neela, you couldn't be farther from wrong. I'm dying here. But here's the thing. I want you. All of you. A lot has happened today, tonight. It's been rough one on both of us and "if" it happens… I want you there- Mind, body and soul."
"Ray Barnett doesn't just want someone's body?"
He placed a light kiss on her lips. "I don't want just your body Neela." His tone was serious. She stayed silent. It frightened her. Ray really did care for her deeply, yet she still felt the fear of what revealing her feelings towards him would mean.
Ray sensed her hesitancy. "Besides, you are going to need all three to survive me," he added teasingly." He dropped his hands and she immediately felt the loss. She reached out for the clothes that he handed to her. "I'll um, turn down your bed." He gestured towards her bed and turned to give her privacy.
Neela smiled. He really could be quite the gentleman. Neela removed her slip and blouse and slipped into her pajamas and padded over to the bed where he was standing holding the covers out for her. Her hand involuntarily slid across his abdomen as she climbed in the bed, causing Ray to lift his eyebrows and his eyes to darken. He grinned as he leaned over her and tucked her in. His lips touched upon hers softly as he spoke conspiratorially against them, "So not frigid." His lips lingered a few seconds more and he moved away from her.
Neela watched him walk to the door and flick off the light. "Ray?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you."
Ray turned back towards her. "I didn't want you to regret it."
Neela turned on her side and burrowed her hands and face into her pillow and shook her head sleepily. "No, not that. Thank you for taking a chance on me today. Putting yourself out there and telling me how you felt."
Ray shook his head sheepishly.
"Because once I get over hurting Michael, I'll be able to tell you that I love you too."
Ray felt his heart thump and he cleared his throat. "Any idea of when that will be?"
Neela smiled in the darkness. Half telling someone you loved them in the dark was not that hard. "Real soon." She heard his footsteps and melted into his lips as the claimed hers one more time.
Ray once again stopped them and placed one last kiss on her forehead. "I'll be here. Good night roomie."
I know this took me incredibly long to post and I apologize. I haven't decided if I will do a 4th chapter yet since technically I could end this here but we will see. As for the disrobing of the sari. After I looked at pictures of Neela on the wedding day, I am not even sure if she was wearing the type of sari I attempted to describe so I hope you forgive my creative license
