Chapter 3: Sleepless Questions and Some Sly Suggestions
"That kiss wasn't a lie, Sara. I really do care for you."
He is standing only a few inches away from her. All she can see are his eyes, and they were looking into hers with an intensity that it is making her dizzy. He shifts slightly and suddenly her senses are overwhelmed by the scent of him. He smells so good that she has the sudden urge to step forward and press her body into his. Instead, she takes a step back.
"How can I believe you Michael?"
He just smiles at her.
-
The next instant she is standing in the middle of a field. It is so dark that she can barely see two feet in front of her. She can hear dogs barking in the distance.
"Sara!" Michael is yelling her name. She swings around trying to find him. Then she hears a gun shot.
Sara wakes with a start. She's sweaty and disoriented. Why is she on the couch? A movement on the floor beside her catches her eye. She looks down. Michael. He's alright.
As she watches his face in the moonlight, she feels her heart clench. He is so beautiful. For some reason, that makes her angry again, so she decides to go check on Lincoln. She rises from the couch and steps over Michael, careful to avoid the creak in the floorboard near his feet. She makes her way down the hall to her room and manages to check Lincoln's vitals and his wound without waking him. Then she creeps back out of the room. In the hallway, she stands still, and contemplates what to do next. It is only 2am and she knows that she should go back to bed, but she's reluctant to go back into the living room. It's too weird. And painful. Laying next to Michael in the dark makes her ache. Suddenly, all of the fantasies that she's been harboring about Michael since that first day in the infirmary - the ones she's been trying to keep at bay all night - come flooding into her mind before she can stop them. Her body aches for him, while her mind tells her she's crazy, and her heart warns caution. She yawns. Suddenly, she's exhausted. It's time to go back to bed, whether she likes it or not.
As she steps back into the living room, her foot lands on the creaky floorboard. Michael shoots up and starts looking around. He looks so sleepy and confused that Sara wants to giggle.
"Michael. It's okay. It's just me. Go back to sleep."
"How's Lincoln?"
"He's fine."
"What time is it?"
"A bit after two."
Michael nods, as though that is exactly what he suspected, and then lays back down. Sara steps over him and curls back up on the couch. At least ten minutes pass in almost complete silence. Sara figures Michael must have fallen back asleep until she hears him whisper, "Sara?"
She turns her head towards him. "Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For asking so much of you."
Sara doesn't say anything.
"I shouldn't have come here tonight."
"Lincoln needed help. And you couldn't go to the hospital. I understand. It's okay."
"No it's not. You could get into a lot of trouble for helping me."
"I know."
A minute or two later, Michael breaks the silence again. "I'm sorry I lied to you Sara."
"I know you are Michael. And, if it helps any, I believe what you told me tonight."
"You do?"
"Yes."
"There was another reason I came here tonight. I wanted to say goodbye."
A wave of panic washes over Sara. "I'm never going to see you again, am I?"
"I hope that's not the case, but I honestly don't know."
Even after everything that has happened, the thought of never seeing Michael again scares her. Somehow, in the short time she's known him, Sara has started to need him. She isn't sure what that means, but she knows that he has changed her somehow. If this is the last time she's ever going to see him, she wants to make it count.
When Sara sits up, Michael raises himself up on his elbows. "What is it?"
She doesn't answer. Instead, she pulls off the blanket and gets up from the couch. She steps over Michael, so that she has one leg on either side of him, and then lowers herself until she's straddling his hips. He looks at her questioningly but she only smiles back at him. He sits up and runs his hands up the outside of her thighs, letting them come to rest on her hips.
"What-"
Sara puts a finger to his lips and shakes her head. She runs her hand over his jaw, like she had when he kissed her in the infirmary.
"Make love to me Michael."
"Sara, Iā¦"
"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it."
"Of course I've thought about it. Many times. But I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. Won't this just make things harder?"
"Maybe."
"Okay, so we should just-"
"You said before that the kiss wasn't a lie."
"It wasn't."
"You also said that what you asked me to do for you wasn't a lie."
"It wasn't. I meant it. Every since I met you I've been wishing that we could have met under different circumstances. So that we could have had a real chance to be together."
Sara leans forward. "This is our chance Michael."
They look at each other for a long moment. Sara tries to will Michael into giving in but he doesn't move. Finally, she leans forward and kisses him softy. After a second, she pulls back and whispers, "Please, Michael. I want to feel you inside me."
Michael remains silent. He looks at her for a moment longer and then leans forward and takes her mouth in his. The kiss is deep and hot and full of need. Sara smiles into the kiss, then wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him closer. When she feels his tongue tracing her bottom lip, she opens her mouth and touches her tongue to his. Michael's hand wanders up the back of her shirt. He follows the line of her spine with his fingers until he reaches the clasp of her bra.
Sara breaks the kiss and leans back so that she can see all of Michael's face. They're both breathing heavily and, even in the dim light, Sara can see that Michael's eyes are several shades darker than normal. She smiles again and pushes Michael's shoulders gently until he's lying back on the blankets. She pulls her T-shirt over her head and then leans forward to kiss him again.
Michael rolls them over so that he's on top. His weight pushing down on her makes Sara's head spin. She wraps her arms around his neck again, kissing him hard on the mouth. She pours everything she's feeling into him ā desperation, fear, sadness, joy, sympathy, lust, love. Her mind is finally shutting up and she lets her body and her heart take over.
Her hands roam up the front of Michael's shirt. Her fingers skim over his abs and his ribs, and her hand comes to rest right over his heart. She can feel it beating against her palm and it makes her inexplicably calm.
When she starts to push the hem of his shirt upwards, he pulls back from her slightly so that there is room to pull it over his head. She leans forward on her elbow and looks at his tattoos. She traces one of the horns on his chest with her finger and looks up into his face.
"A map, huh?"
"Yup."
She looks back at his tattoo. "I never really looked at them before. They're beautiful," she says, and then kisses his chest.
"Thank you."
She starts to ask him where the infirmary is but he cuts her off by bringing his mouth to hers again. He doesn't want to think about Fox River, or his tattoo, or anything else that isn't Sara.
They spend the next couple of hours exploring each others bodies, kissing and making love. When Michael is inside her, Sara feels more alive than she ever has.
Around 4, Michael falls asleep. Sara's wrapped up in his arms, her head on his chest. She feels safe with him and that's when she realizes that leaving the door unlocked had been the right thing to do.
Sara doesn't know how long she has been standing there, next to the water, but she guesses that it's been at least 45 minutes. It had been a long walk down memory lane. She takes a deep breath and tries to make herself focus on the present. After another minute or so, she turns around and starts walking back the way she came.
Then she hears something that makes her stop in her tracks. It is a voice that she hasn't heard in nearly three years ā not since that morning when they had said goodbye. And it is calling her name. She turns around slowly, and there he is, standing where she had been only seconds earlier, grinning at her.
"Michael."
