Disclaimer: I own not a notion. I rent.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I am humbled by your kind words and I'm so glad that everyone is enjoying the story so far :)
I apologize for not updating for a few days. Saturday was a home football game (which we won! YAY!) and then I met up with a ton of friends I haven't seen all summer. So I haven't been around the computer for awhile. But I can make it up to you with this update. I hope it continues to live up to standards. I added some humor because it was getting a little heavy there.
Collins sat in front of Roger's bedroom door for an hour before Roger quieted down. The kicking stopped. The yelling ceased.
"Collins? You still there?" Roger's voice sounded hoarse and strained.
"Yeah, Roger. I'm still here. You okay?"
"I'd be a lot better if you let me out of this room, but I know you're not going to, are you?"
"Not tonight man. Tomorrow is negotiable though." There were a few minutes of silence.
"I hit Mark, didn't I?"
"Yeah, Rog."
"I didn't mean to. I mean I was pissed, but I didn't mean to hurt him. Is he okay?"
"He's fine. But I don't want you dismissing this Roger. You hit your best friend for no good reason. I want you to think about if drugs are more important than your friendship with Mark."
"When did you turn into a psychiatrist?"
"Don't get smart. I'm just trying to make you see that right now, everything is pretty well shot to hell. Today was a bad day Roger. For you, for Mark and for me. Don't dismiss this like you dismiss just about everything else. You hit your best friend! And I'm not hearing a lot of regret in your voice." How could Roger be so hard-headed? Collins knew that Mark already forgave Roger for the fight. It was just what Mark did. He never held grudges, especially when it came to Roger. For the past few months Roger had walked all over Mark, taking his friendship for granted. Yet Mark was always there when Roger needed him. Which is a good thing, because Roger is really going to need Mark when the real withdrawal starts to set in.
"You think that I don't realize that I hit him! I do. I feel bad, alright! I feel really shitty right now. And no, it's not because I want a hit." A pause, "Is Mark mad?" Roger's voice cracked.
"I don't know man. You're going to have to ask him that yourself. I would put that on my list of things to do tomorrow, if I were you."
"What am I supposed to do now?"
"Why don't you get some sleep? I'll be right out here if you need anything."
"You don't have to watch the door. I won't leave, I promise."
"Yeah, but I really like this spot. After almost two hours here, my ass has melded to the floor. That and your promises don't really mean much right now, man."
"Whatever. Night." Collins heard the thump of Roger's body hitting the mattress. Readjusting his body against the door, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
Bright sunlight roused Collins from his very fitful and very uncomfortable sleep. Turning his head away from the direct light, he opened his eyes. Where the hell was he? Oh yeah. Playing sentry outside Roger's door. Stretching his back, he winced as the kinks worked their way out of his muscles.
Collins leaned his right ear against the door of Roger's room and listened. Heavy snoring could be heard from within. Well at least someone got some decent sleep. God, I'm getting too old for this shit.
Silently, Collins stood and made his way the few feet to Mark's open bedroom door. The filmmaker was asleep, but his usual peaceful, boyish countenance was shadowed. Collins shook his head. It shouldn't have gotten this far. It never should have come to blows between these two. I should have stepped in sooner. Mark shouldn't have to deal with this. Roger shouldn't either, but Roger brought this on himself. I just want our little family to return to normalcy.
After a short trip to the bathroom, hearing focused in on any little noise that might mean Roger was awake; Collins tiptoed into the kitchen area to make coffee. His eyes flitted back and forth from what he was doing to Roger's door. Sitting at the table, Collins finally allowed himself to relax somewhat and enjoy the quiet of the morning.
"Good morning my new roommates!" The loft door slid open with a bang and there in the doorway stood Alphabet City's resident drama queen and protester of all things protest-able, Maureen Johnson.
Collins put his head in his hands. Well, it was nice while it lasted.
"Well don't look so happy to see me Collins. Where are the other boys, because I've got tons of stuff and I need big, strapping men to help me get it up the stairs," Maureen paused, then scowled, "Don't tell me you forgot I was moving in today. Sunday, September 22, that's what you, Roger, Benny and Mark told me. You said I could move in today. Don't tell me that I have to haul all my stuff back to the old apartment which isn't mine anymore? Collins!"
Collins and Mark had met Maureen at one of Roger's first gigs with The Well Hungarians. After many lunches and dinners at The Life Café, all four roommates had become fast friends with the part-time waitress, part-time actress. Maureen had explained to them two weeks ago that she was being evicted from her apartment (she couldn't pay rent, something the guys empathized with) and Mark had suggested she move in with them. It was no secret that Mark had a crush on Maureen. He showed it openly by blushing whenever she flirted with him. Maureen also showed interest in Mark. She found herself very attracted to him. Guys in glasses had always turned her on. But it wasn't just his glasses- he was sweet, he had an infectious laugh (when he allowed himself to laugh openly around her), and he had two of the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Yes, he was geeky but he was also adorable. The thought of Mark and Maureen together perplexed Roger, Benny and Collins. The beginnings of a relationship were there, but nothing had happened as of yet.
"Don't whine. Yes, I forgot you were moving in, but things around here aren't all that great right now. And keep your voice down. Mark and Roger are still asleep."
"No. No, Mark's not. Hey Maureen." Mark had emerged from his room and made his way over to the coffeepot. Usually Mark blushed whenever he found himself in the company of Maureen Johnson, but other things were on his mind. His face and stomach were sore and he moved very stiffly.
"What the hell happened to your face?" Maureen stared intently at the deep black bruise.
"That's why I forgot you were moving in today, okay. I'll explain more later." Collins jumped out of his chair and stood right in front of Roger's room. He had heard a groan and knew that Roger was now awake. It was true, Collins couldn't keep Roger in his bedroom for the rest of his life, so it was time to let him out. He wished that Maureen would have waited a little while to decide to move in, but she was going to have to deal with Roger's withdrawal now too.
Roger tentatively opened his door and came face-to-face with Collins, "Can I come out now?"
Collins stepped aside, "Yes, but you ain't leaving the loft. There's coffee and then Mark and I will go get Maureen's stuff while you stay here and help her unpack."
"Okay. Hey Maureen. Forgot that you were moving in today." Roger made his way to the coffeepot, skirting around Mark slightly. Even though he didn't openly admit it, he was afraid of Mark. His best friend, whom he'd physically attacked, had yet to say a word to him.
Silence enveloped the loft as Collins, Mark and Roger drank their coffee. Maureen stood by the table, utterly perplexed. What the hell was going on around here? She was afraid to say anything because everyone looked pissed and she didn't feel like getting yelled at.
Roger cleared his throat quietly and looked at Mark, wincing at the very visible mark that he himself had left on Mark's face, "I just want to say…I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to get that mad. I don't know what came over me and I hope that someday you can forgive me." It sounded rehearsed but Collins thought it was a pretty decent apology, especially for Roger.
"I forgive you Roger."
"What?"
"I forgive you. I just hope that now you see why you need to stop."
"I do. I never want to do that again. I never want to not have control like that again. But I have to ask Mark, how can you forgive me so easily? I hurt you and I can barely live with that fact. I can't imagine what you think of me." Roger hung his head.
"Rog, we've been friends for too many years for me to give up on you now. Besides I still think the same thing I've always thought of you. You'll always be my stubborn, pig-headed jackass best friend, who's like my brother that I would most often like to beat over the head with a frying pan."
Roger smiled and gently hugged Mark, "Man, I am such a prick sometimes. I must get it from you."
"Me? I'm not the one who wrecked my brand new car three days after my sixteenth birthday!"
"Hey, you said that was forgiven! Besides, remember that time you purposely broke two strings on my guitar so I couldn't play?"
"You deserved it. That Goddamn Musetta's Waltz. If I ever end up in hell, that's what will be playing on repeat."
"Leave Musetta out of it! You love that song, you know you do." Roger laughed and put an arm around Mark's shoulder, "Will you help me get clean?" he asked softly.
"Of course, Roger. That's what friends are for."
"Alright, that's enough of this mushy shit. You're probably scaring the crap out of Mo. Let's get her unpacked. Mark, I better not catch you carrying anything heavy or I'll beat your ass boy. Take a break when you need to." Collins smiled fondly at Mark.
"Okay, okay. I feel fine though." Mark smiled at Roger, "We'll be back".
Collins and Mark disappeared through the loft door. Roger's eyes stared at the remainder of his coffee. He knew that he had to change his life. He'd spent most of the night hating himself for what he did to Mark and what he was doing to his own body. I hope I can do this. I have to do this. I can't believe I hurt my best friend, all for some temporary satisfaction. Temporary numbness. At least I won't be alone. I'll have help from my friends. Maybe April and I can get clean together. I bet she would be so much happier if she wasn't high all the time. She told me once that she hates herself sometimes. I think I get what she meant, finally. I hope she drops by today. I should call her. We could do this together. We'll both have so much support. Maybe after she'll be able to finish a story and I can finish a song. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
"Roger?" Maureen watched as Roger gazed into his coffee cup. She was so incredibly confused, but knew that something big was happening to him. She still found it hard to believe that he had hit Mark. What was going on? Collins had a lot of explaining to do. "Roger?" He had yet to answer her.
"Yeah? Sorry Maureen. What's up?"
"What is going on?" She couldn't stop herself from asking.
"I'm not getting high anymore."
