Yeah yeah I don't own KH (because I wouldn't be here writing about it, I'd be off pysching out).

Alright, so the Organization's names go like this: they're anagrams of the original names with an x added. Examples: Zexion is Ienzo with an x. Roxas is Sora with an x. An anagram is when you rearrange the letters of a word to make a new combination. I found this information through Now Wiki doesn't have the original names of all themembers, so I've had to make my own versions of their names. :) Feel free to check out my other stories too while you're waiting for me to update. One of them was a really bad X-Men thing (wrote itlike a year ortwo ago actually, I'm thinking of redoing it). The other is a realistic (as inthe game realisitic) oneof what happens in KHright after Sora, Kairi, and Riku return to the Islands. Enjoy mis amigas.

It seems I have some extra time here at my uncle's house sitting on the floor, so I'm going to try and get this bit done. However, back at my grandparent's house, I don't really have access to it. So I'll try when I can. :)


I. Ansem. Xehanort. Xemnas. The Superior.

I remember waking up in a state of unusual calm. For some reason, I could recall nothing of my life except that I had always woken in some sort of panic. Perhaps from my nightmares. It was always the same nightmare. Dreadful, really. The plotline of this chilling dream was that I was chasing someone, through a dark forest. Couldn't find my way right. So dark, so dark. But suddenly, the point of view would switch. Three times. The first time was obvious, I was myself. I, Xehanort. The second time the dream replayed, everything seemed to have a filmy layer over it. Like a mask of fog. The third time, everything was clear...but with a dark tint to it. In this view, I could see shapes darting between the trees, watching me. Hence, I woke from my nightmare in fear.

But, the truth was, when my life really started to my memory, I had woken in calm. Blissful calm, unaware that anything else was going wrong. Seconds later though, I felt numbing pain, voices calling to me. I, once again, drifted into a state of unconciousness. Later...later I awoke in a castle. I suppose it really wasn't a castle, but to the fool I was, it might as well have been. The man who had saved me was named Ansem the Wise. He took me, as one of his own students. He seemed proud of me, as he instructed me with the others. He boasted to town villagers that I learned with an alarming rate. I soon met the others. Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan and Elaeus I'm not sure you could call us...friends. But there was some sort of bond, one to strengthen as time would pass. Ansem the Wise became interested in the matters of the heart. He needed to expirement on someone. So, I agreed. Sometimes I wonder...would I have been...happier if I had not agreed? But I needed to know, needed to know who I was, hoping with power that these expirements would help me regain my memory. The others tested on me as well, hoping to assist in regaining my memories. But he knew, Ansem the Wise knew he should not meddle with the affairs of the heart. He stopped. But oh, we continued. We had to know. Pursue knowledge, it is the key. So we did, we continued the expirements in secret.

We discovered a certain type of creature, "Heartless". The story is long and I do not have the time to recount it all except...except that I had found a door within Radiant Garden. I, I had found it. It was amazing. A source of pulsing, beautiful energy. It...drew me in. I could not move away. It...called me. That night, there was a meteor shower. I believe it broke down the walls between the worlds. I created a machine, a wonderful, flawless machine to spawn the Heartless. From atraveler, I learned of the Keyblade and its master. To further my expirements, I sent a young girl, a Princess of Heart, to the land of the Keyblade master, believing that they are, in some way, connected. I cast away my body, like a fool. Part of me went on as Ansem, toying with themind ofa boy, a friend of the Keyblade master. I, I took this shell. This awful shell that once felt thing. But I will feel them again. No one understands this pain...ha, and I can not even "feel" pain. But my soul...that fool never studied the soul. I believe it rests inside the body, while the heart goes out as a Heartless. But the soul...the soul stays with a Nobody. And souls. Yes, I believe souls can feel things. I believe I can feel things. No matter what I may lead the others to believe...oh...I know I can have feelings. I have...pride. Hope. Pain. They are only three that I can recognize right now, but I am working. Working to feel more. To feel. To feel something else besides this pain laced with poisonous hope. Why...why...I must know. I had to know. The need to know led me into this trap. Therefore, the only way out of this deep hole, is to climb out with the satisfaction of knowing. So I will. I will know. I must. And if I don't know, if I don't regain a heart, if I am this shell forever...then at least, I may have knowledge for others. Someone will find out the rest, they will succeed where I have failed. But someday, they will know. And I, somewhere, will feel that knowledge being gained. And this pain will be at rest. Oh...but I must know. I must.


He heard the almost silent noise of the dark warphole to his side. He didn't bother turning to look at the boy. He knew it would be him. Roxas approached, his hood turned up. Xemnas watched the dark water, its practically nonexistent waves lapping against the beach. He was different, Xemnas knew. The boy was different from the rest of them. He didn't have his original memories, just like me, at the Garden. He brushed away the thought. But at least he knew the important things. The boy, Roxas, he didn't know anything. Not like anyone was going to tell him his story. Not like anyone knew.

"Would it matter if I go," Roxas said to the quiet. It wasn't a question, they both knew. All the same, Xemnas didn't answer. "I have to, you know. I have to go. I have to know." Xemnas turned his head to look sharply at the still, cloaked figure. Was it possible? Was it possible for someone to have this urgency to know, just like him? Was it possible for someone to need to know, even though it was for something wholly different? Or maybe, maybe it was not so different. A need to know for discover, perhaps. Knowledge.

"Then you must go," Xemnas said after awhile. "Our plans need to continue.You are not needed for them. I have my own business to do." Startled, the boy looked at him and quickly tossed his hood down, surprise etched across his face. Xemnas flipped his own hood down and glared at the boy, some energy suddenly flowing within him. Anger, annoyance that this boy, this mere boy could possibly think that he had the same kind of importance as he. The same need. The same want. "The others have only just arrived at theCastle. You could have gone with them. Axel would've protected you from the teasing of the others. But you chose not to. We will meet here again, I promise you. Before you...leave. Go off. Think. I am busy," Xemnas added a moment or two later, and from there he flipped his hood back and resigned to watching the dark waves again. The boy left, but he took no notice of him.

He watched the current, for a brief moment, his mind was blissfully unaware, a feeling he had forgotten.

In, out. In, out.