Divas Prison Ch49

"What about Becky, Paige. She's been here with us. Listen to me, look at me, please." Natalya tried to get through, but Paige wasn't able to take it on board.

"She threatened me, said I wasn't to talk to you. Becky...she dumped me."

"What?!" Came the shriek from the door. Natalya turned to see Becky standing in the doorway, her mouth open in shock.

Becky shook her head in denial. "No, I didn't, I wouldn't, Paige, I couldn't do that." Becky took a few steps towards the bunks as she spoke. She knelt down and put her hand on Paige's shoulder. It made Paige turn her head, but as soon as she realised who it was she tried to force herself as much into the corner as she could. Paige had her back to the wall and her knees pulled back into her body. Becky and Natalya got a look at her face and both reacted in shock. She looked more pale that ever, with her eyes looking glazed, with dark bags under each. Her breathing was rapid as it looked like she was trying to talk.

"Pai, it's me, Becky, your Becky. I swear I would never." Becky stopped talking as Paige shielded her face with her hands.

"Leave me alone. I promise I'll do what you said." Paige begged. The way she said it took all the fight out of Becky. She felt torn between fighting for her girlfriend and respecting what she wanted at that moment.

"It's ok Becky, go sit outside. Girls look after her." Emma and Summer helped Becky up and out of the cell.

Natalya turned her focus back to Paige. "It's ok Paige, she's gone for now. Put your hands down and let me look at you." Natalya took both of Paige's hands in hers and even though she could feel them shaking, she was able to move them down so she could look at Paige's face in more detail.

"Paige, how much have you slept while you have been in The Lock?" Natalya asked, getting no vocal response, not that she needed it, but the head shake she got confirmed her fears. "You need to sleep. You'll feel better. Nothing is going to hurt you now."

"Becky?" Paige whimpered, still scared.

"Becky loves you. Nothing that you think happened over there was real. Once you sleep, you'll realise that. It's just not possible. Becky will be in with you later, but I promise you that you have nothing to fear from her. Trust me. Can you trust me?"

Paige looked up at Natalya for a moment before nodding. Natalya helped Paige lay down and made sure she was covered by her blanket.

"Sleep." She whispered before leaving her to it. Natalya found the rest of them at a close by table. Time was getting on, and Charlotte had returned. She was in between Summer and Emma, almost cradling a distraught Becky, whose face was bright red from tears. Becky saw Natalya approach and looked up in hope.

"Nattie, is she ok? I swear, I never threatened her, and I couldn't break up with her. You all know how much I love her. Can I go see her now?

"Calm down Becky. She's in a pretty bad way. You can't see her right now, it would make things worse." Becky began to crumble again so Natalya quickly explained. "You just have to give her time. She's suffering from her experience over there. She hasn't slept much in days. I've seen it before. They call it sleep deprivation. She's seen things that weren't there. In her case, it's familiar things and her worst nightmares coming true. She'll be ok, but we have to let her go at her own pace. She'll realise all of it didn't happen, like the bad dream it sort of was, in a few days, but only if she gets as much sleep as possible, as quickly as possible. That's why you need to give her time. She believes that you really hurt her and threatened her. But she'll be ok, you'll both be ok."

"You sure?" Becky asked hopefully. The smile and nod she received in return made her breath a sigh of relief.

Keeping away from Paige went against everything Becky wanted to do, but with her friends help, she made it through the last hours of the day before lockdown for the night.

As she stepped back into her cell, her first thought was how peaceful Paige looked, the only movement was her chest moving softly rising and falling as she appeared to sleep. That ended the moment the door was slammed behind her. Paige looked up, and locked eyes with Becky. Paige's eyes remained fixed and her mouth fell open as she began to breathe much more heavily. Becky took a small step forward and Paige scrambled herself into the corner of the bunk and the cell.

"No, no. Paige it's ok. Please, you don't have anything to be scared about. I am not going to do anything to hurt you, not in any way. Can you please just look at me?" Becky knelt down by Paige's bunk and put her hand on her arm, only for her to jerk her body to try and get it off. Becky removed it voluntarily.

"Ok, ok. I'll leave you be. Please go back to sleep baby. I need you to get better. I need you to see that I didn't do anything you think I did. Just know I love you." Becky got onto her bunk, but sleep was impossible for her. She listened to Paige's breathing, and found herself looking over many times so see if she was asleep, or had changed her position in any way, finding disappointment each time, until she finally fell asleep for a few hours, woken by the usual lights and noise. She got down to see that Paige was asleep.

She left as quietly as she could and spent the day out with the others, returning to the cell when forced to, but when she tried to check on the welfare of her girlfriend, or at least as far as she was concerned she was, the result echoed everything she experienced the previous night.

"Any news?" Was the first question asked by Summer as soon as Becky joined them, since she was by herself.

"No." Becky shook her head, which hung down. "She won't even look at me. Sometimes this is feeling worse than when they transferred her."

"Don't you even go there." Natalya answered in a very sharp tone. "Don't even think it."

Becky realised what she was referring to. "No no, I won't go anywhere near that. But it hurts. She can't bring herself to do anything. She's been terrified of me. She won't move unless I'm on my bunk. She won't talk to me at all."

"Has she been sleeping at least?"

"Some I think, eventually she's just falling asleep, or passing out from her exhaustion. As long as things stay quiet. But you all know that doesn't happen for long sometimes. When she wakes up, she panics. That's when I really have to stay still. If she thinks she's on her own, she calms down faster. But it does mean that she's resting, and that is what she needs, right Nattie?"

"Right. It'll just take time. Not much more hopefully. You just need a small breakthrough and she'll turn a corner. It could happen all at once if she is able to figure it out, or a bit at a time. But I promise Becky, she will be ok."

"Thanks. It's just hard, you know?"

Charlotte took Becky's hand and squeezed. "Yeah, we know. It's not right to be so close to someone you care about that much, then have them just practically ripped away from you for reasons you can't control."

"Char, you could so be talking about yourself there, you know." Summer said, then regretted it, as Charlotte gave her a look that said 'Shut up or die'.

"Charlottes problem is a little harder to solve that Becky's. Don't you dare give me evil looks though." Natalya told Charlotte with a raised eyebrow, knowing it got under her skin pretty easily to bring anything up regarding her so called friendship with the Bellas, women she still felt a hatred for, despite their absence from the block. Charlotte was desperate for something to happen to stop this conversation before she got upset, angry, or as she knew, both were more likely. This time however, things were on her side.

"Guys, look, it's Paige."

"Char please, don't use her like that. I wasn't the one who said that. It's hurtful." Becky said, without looking up.

"Uh Becky, she's not making it up. She's there, in the doorway. Look." Natalya pulled on Becky's arm to make her look up. She did and saw Paige standing in the door of their cell. She wasn't looking anywhere but at the floor.

"She's hungry. It's the food that's brought her out." Becky tried not to smile, or cry, at this first good sign since her return to the block.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I know my girl. She's been sneaking her small amount of snacks from commissary, she hasn't wanted me to know she's doing it, but it couldn't bother me less as long as she was eating. I'm sure happy to see this though, it means she's getting better right?"

"No doubt." Natalya answered. "But don't rush her. Let her join the line, get food and all that at her own pace."

When food was served, the usual stampede occurred, the women wanting it while it was hot, trying to get the best out of the low quality food they get, despite Emma's best effort. Becky spent the whole time in line watching to see if Paige would do the same, and was delighted to see her shuffle slowly to the very back of the line, not wanting to make any eye contact with anybody. Emma tried her best as Paige took her meal, but got no response.

Becky got out of her seat, wanting to show Paige where they were, and offer her an empty seat at the table. They were nearer the far side from the serving area so had to hope that she'd look up. She got her wish as Paige looked up to find her way with her food, not wanting to trip with it. Becky raised her hand to signal her girlfriend, but as soon as they looked at each other, Paige turned sharply and headed to another table near the cell doors.

"No! No No No!" Becky screamed, and pushed her tray off the table with everything she had, sending it across the floor, spilling its contents.

"Hey, you! You pick every last bit of that up, or you can go back to The Lock!" Rollins shouted at Becky, who was ready to push back, but Charlotte got up and pulled Becky back a step.

"Don't give him the satisfaction. It's not worth it. Come on Bec, you don't want to get sent away again do you?"

Becky kept pushing against Charlotte. "At least it would be for something I did this time. That knife was a complete frame job." Rollins watched and prepared himself to have to restrain her.

"Becky, if you go to solitary, who's going to help Paige?" That had the effect on Becky that Charlotte knew it would. She stopped fighting immediately. "Come on, I'll help you. Both of them got to their knees to clean up the mess of food left on the floor.

"No, she does it, not you." Rollins ordered. Becky and Charlotte shared a look before the blonde got to her feet and returned to the table. Becky joined them when the task had been completed to the guards satisfaction.

"Asshole." She grumbled.

"You need to keep calm Becky, Charlotte is right, it's not going to help anyone, least of all, oh." Summer was going to point at Paige, but at her stopping short, Becky stood up and looked to where she was sitting, only to see she was no longer there.

"Where's she gone? I can't see her. Can anyone see where she went? What if something happened?"

A hand from one person each side put her back in her seat. "Calm down, it's not like she could go anywhere, none of the doors have opened, and she's not going to do anything the way she's feeling. She's probably gone back to her cell."

Becky stood up again. "I just need to check."

Again she felt hands on her shoulders pushing her down. "There's no need to, she won't be anywhere else. She definitely ran back in there." Summer said, getting looks of disbelief from Natalya and Charlotte.

"I don't believe you sometimes." Charlotte said, exasperated.

"Ran? She ran?" Becky asked, afraid of the answer she was certain was coming.

"When you got angry, she took her tray and ran off. She looked terrible."

"Becky again found it impossible to stay seated. "Oh no, I didn't mean for that to happen. I've got to go tell her it's ok. Wait, get off of me." Becky had to struggle as she was again being pushed back to the seat by her friends.

"Not now. She's still freaked out by everything. She needs to be by herself to get over it and get back to a calm state. Then you can try and bridge things later. Now she's a bit more with it, and daring to come out again, it's a better time to try." Natalya kept one hand on Becky's shoulder, but the other one was on her hand. "You have to stay calm too. If either of you get worked up, it'll completely blow up in both your faces. You don't want to lose her for good, I know you don't, so don't do anything to risk it."

Becky went silent for a moment, thinking about what she was going to do. "I'm freaked out too you know. It's been weeks since all this started, but to me it feels like so much longer. Months, years, I don't know. And if I struggled to handle her not being there, how do you think it feels when she's two feet away, but might as well be two miles?"

"Becky, again, get a grip. If you can't, then what chance do you have of being able to help her."

"You're right. I know. But it's not easy keeping myself together. You know how much she means to me. I hate seeing her suffering like this."

"It's just a matter of time Becky. Soon you'll see her back to normal." Becky got up again, but this time was pulled down hard by the others. "Not now."

"Ok Nattie, but you can't blame me for for trying right?" Becky tried to smile, although her attempts to hide her troubles fell flat.

Through the rest of that day Becky had to be chaperoned at nearly all times, she was grateful that they let use the bathroom on her own, but not her own one.

At the end of the day there was nothing they could do of course, Becky went been to her cell, finding Paige lying flat on her bed, staring at what she could only think was nothing in particular. As was the usual over the last few days, the door slamming startled Paige, making her looking up and stare at Becky.

"Paige please don't turn away from me. I need to say I'm sorry if I scared you or if I upset you earlier. I thought it was great that you came out to eat. You're getting better, and I thought that maybe we could talk about everything now." Becky knelt down and went to put her hand on Paige's arm, but as she got closer, Paige's expression got more and more terrified and she again tried to hide in the corner of the bunk.

Becky stood up and put her hands on her head. Tears of frustration began to flow. She thought about everything she had told about giving her time, but the frustration was turning into desperation and they weren't the ones who had to deal with these feelings and seeing her like this in their cell every night. She found herself losing control of her emotions as she dropped back to her knees, leaning on the space on the bunk Paige left by lying against the wall. Everything she said, she said through her tears, sounding as choked up as she felt.

"I can't handle this anymore. I know you can hear me, you aren't asleep, although I wish you were, then I might be able to hold onto some hope. But I need you to know now how I feel, how things really are. But please, do not be afraid, don't be scared. You never have anything to fear from me. I know, in your heart, you don't believe that I could ever threaten you, and I think that's why it hurts you so much to think that I did. As I keep telling you, I did not, and will never threaten you. I can't imagine what you though I could have said to make you flinch at my touch, but it didn't happen. Think, we were both in solitary. Nobody comes in while you are there, like the name suggests. The last thing they will do is let people come in and talk to you, least of all other prisoners. I know you've really suffered. But I want to help you get through it, because no matter what you may be thinking, I love you. I haven't stopped loving you, and I never will. You're my whole world, and it kills me to see you so upset, even more to have you back away from me. But I'll never give up on you. Or on us. And that's because I know you love me too. Despite what you think I said, and again, I didn't, but that's not my point. Even when you think I could have done something so horrible, I know you still love me. You wouldn't have been so upset about it if you didn't care about me. You don't want to make me feel angry, and you never could, not really. But you don't need to worry about it, not now, not ever. Just turn over and kiss me, that's all I want. I think I've missed your kisses more than anything else. You're so loving, and it's another reason why I hate seeing you like this. Please, just look at me." Becky waited what felt like forever, although it was really barely ten seconds, but there was no movement from the bunk, no reaction from Paige in that moment.

Becky didn't know what else to say, she felt beaten herself. She sounded more upset than before. "I feel like I've really lost you. But I promise I'll never give up on having you back, or ever give up on you in any way. Paige, I promise I'll always love you. Please get better. Please come back to me." Becky found it harder and harder to talk so stopped. She sat on the floor for a while as she eventually managed to calm herself down. She took a last look at Paige curled up and pushed herself,up and into her bunk. Emotionally spent, she passed out to sleep very quickly.

She slept for a while, but woke to the feeling something had grabbed hold of her. He hand felt squeezed. She looked to it and saw that was exactly the case. There was a hand on hers. She looked up and came properly face to face with Paige for the first time in weeks. The limited light that came in the cell from outside cast enough on her face to see a look of hurt on her face. Becky rolled over so they could be eye to eye. Before Becky could,say something, she had a million things in her head but couldn't pick one, Paige stepped back as much as she could, keeping hold of Becky's hand as so to pull her along. Becky got the point and got out of her bed so they were both standing there, just looking at each other. Becky didn't want to do anything to frighten or upset Paige so waited for her to make the first move. Which eventually happened when Paige stepped into her and wrapped both her arms around Becky's neck, resting her head on top. Becky immediately returned the hug, being sure not to be too tight, knowing she could squeeze the life out of her in her joy at receiving the hug. She was close enough to feel that Paige was shaking like a leaf. Becky put one hand to Paige's head, stroking her hair, then moving down and doing the same to her back, trying her best to be reassuring.

When she released the hug, Paige looked down, unsure of herself, Becky again let her make the first move, although she was scared of Paige regressing back to the bunk the way she was before. She did head back towards the bunk, but took Becky's hand in hers again, pulling her down, then taking the other hand. She rolled back into the bed, but before lying down, positioned Becky's arms around her, pulling her into her back so they were both laying down close together. Becky let go for a second to pull the blanket over Paige, she wasn't worried about herself, she had what she wanted. She then took Paige's hand back in hers again. She felt Paige continue to shake for a few moments but then it slowed down and stopped. She felt Paige's breathing become much more steady and calm. It was regular and deep. She realised at that moment that Paige had fallen sound asleep. She didn't know if she was going to laugh or cry in that moment as relief washed over her. She fought herself to do neither, nor wanting to disturb Paige, or ruin the feeling that she missed, and she loved, as she happily drifted off herself.

A/N: Thanks for reading. I hope you're enjoying this as much as I enjoy writing it.