Date posted: 5th March 2021

Sorry for the wait! There was stuff happening.

Thanks to TigerCry for slaying this beast!


Chapter 3: I'm a Slayer

"Damn you're ugly."

- Geralt of Rivia

Asuna had known Kirito for two months and still knew quite little about him.

For one, he was likely roughly her own age (seventeen) but it was hard to tell. His face was very boyish, even for a teenager.

Secondly, he was very business-savvy. Even Asuna, who was top of her class and was studying to go into the family business, was surprised at how quickly he was able to grasp the game's economics. He could get someone to sell their own clothes and somehow make a profit. She suspected he was a beta tester but had no evidence to back that claim.

Lastly, and most annoyingly, he was a gigantic coward.

"ASUNA! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

Asuna looked up from the pot from where she was cooking dinner. "Kirito, that's a squirrel."

He was hiding behind one of the donkeys in his bathrobes, his hair still wet from a quick dip in the river.

"Hah! Looks can be deceiving, dear Asuna! That there is the most horrid of all of the fluffy beasts in Aincrad: the «Dire Squirrel»!"

The squirrel, cocked its head, fearless of the humans before it.

"U-huh." She picked up a nearby acorn and flicked it towards the most horrid beast. It took the acorn and fled.

Kirito stepped out of his hiding spot. "Ah, my oh-so stalwart bodyguard has defended me from mortal danger once again! I'll put this in your evaluation profile so you'll look good on your resume," he winked.

She rolled her eyes. "That's what you pay me for, Kirito."

Ugh.

They were on the road again and arrived at their destination when the sun dipped in the west. The village they came to was much simpler and quaint than the towns and cities of before. There must have been only two dozen homes, a sawmill on the river, and some small patches of farming. It was a village that specialised in logging first and foremost; far away from the hustle and bustle of civilisation.

The last business with the guild FurinKazaan was very profitable. It was enough to pay Asuna's salary for three years straight (God, she hoped she wasn't stuck in this stupid video game for three years) and then some.

It was unusual for Kirito to do the actual hustle and bustle of going this deep in the woods, relegating that to Asuna, player guilds like the FuurinKazan or hiring some NPC mercs. He hated fighting. Or getting dirty. Or inconvenienced in general. He spent an immodest amount of money on good inns and good food. From the start of the game, Asuna was not found wanting on getting fed or having a roof over her head.

He also spent too much money on other things. Perfume, hair oil, clothes - by God, the clothes. There was a whole trunk full of them, ranging from medieval European like clothes with puffy sleeves, to kimonos, to middle eastern robes, and so on, and so on. There was more money's worth in his wardrobe trunk than a guild's treasury.

Now, Asuna liked clothes too, but Kirito bought more clothes in a week than Asuna and her mother did in a month.

"It's about first impressions, dearest Asuna. I can't go meet a potential customer and look like a used car salesman," he once told her.

There was an inn, really more of a large house that happened to house travelers, called the Bucking Bronco. After a chat with a couple of hostlers, they entered.

"Innkeeper!" Kirito said to the old woman at the counter and placed some coins on the counter. "I need two rooms! Oh, and I'm looking for a certain someone, a blue haired hunter …"

The inkeep gestured her head at the corner of the inn's canteen. "She's one of them Slayers …" the old woman said with muted awe. "Dangerous folk they are - wandering the wilds, killing beasts of all kinds."


Merchant and bodyguard sat themselves at the table. Before them was a hooded figure, pipe in hand. A cased bow and quiver hung on the wall behind her.

"You must be the one they call Sinon," said Kirito.

She puffed her pipe, blowing smoke rings into the air. "I heard of you. You've a reputation."

"Ah yes, I am quite well known amongst the Clearers. My donkeys and I will bring you provisions in the deepest depths of dangers - for a price." Kirito smiled.

"And you also sell ammunition of all kinds?"

"Bolts and arrows; javelins and darts; throwing axes and throwing knives. I've got them all!"

"Just making sure." Sinon as she put down her pipe, then pulled out a slingshot, a sharp bodkin aimed right at his face.

Asuna had her rapier out in a heartbeat. Kirito went deathly pale.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Wait! We can talk about this!" said the merchant.

"Put the slingshot down," said Asuna.

Sinon ignored the sword tip an inch away from her face. "Two weeks ago, I bought a quiver of arrows from you. You were selling them at a discount at Koriko town. Good deals! you said. Quality arrows in bulk! you claimed."

"Aha, I think I was there, yes," he said nervously. If Asuna recalled correctly, she was off running an errand for Kirito on the other side of town.

"I was using a quiver of your special discount arrows," she said the words with pure venom, "to hunt down a bear. Half of them don't even work! Why? Because they were at 20% Durability. I strung an arrow and it broke in half and the beast heard it and was right on me! Would have died if I hadn't pulled out my spear!

"What do you have to say for yourself?!"

"How many arrows does it take to kill a bear?"

"What?"

"How. Many. Shots. Does it take to kill a bear?"

Sinon still had her slingshot in Kirito's face but considered an answer still. "Three on average. One if I get really lucky. Why?"

Kirito pursed his lips and made that face he always made when he was thinking. "The base price of a bear pelt is 800 Col. But being shot up greatly diminishes the value of a pelt. A good shot from a good bow that pierces both lungs is the best way to kill a bear with a single neat hole that can be easily sewn. If the pelt is turned into a rug, that's 1,700 Col. If it's made into a high quality cape and headdress, assuming a high level «Tailor», it can be made into something worth about 2,400 Col. Even discounting paying said Tailor, that's still a three times profit increase. And all of that from a single arrow."

Oh. Oh no. Asuna knew where this was going.

"Last question: How high is your «Survival» skill?"

"250. Why?" said Sinon.

"Well, the thing is that a lot of players don't invest in «Survival». Lots of players think it's boring, but it also gives access to extra damage against animals, beasts, and makes travelling the wilds way easier. Great for skinning too! Most folks all go for combat skills, but it's overall a very underrated utility skill!"

"Get to the point, charlatan."

"The quest needs a minimum «Survival» requirement of 200, and even my loyal bodyguard here only has 90. Which is why, you are the perfect woman for the job."

In an instant Kirito's fear vanished from his face and he smiled. Not that nervous smile from before - the smile that Asuna dreaded, dragging her into whatever shenanigans he always found himself in.

There were Yen signs in his eyes.

"Miss Sinon! Let me draft a contract for the both of us and we'll be on our way to making lots of money!"

"What."

Kirito shrugged. "Okay, maybe those arrows were bunk. I admit it. If it pleases you, I'll happily reimburse the broken product. I'll even throw in a shooting glove, what do you say?"

Sinon was silent for a while. The gall of this man who sold her crappy arrows. Then finally sighed and relented. "Fine."

"Very good! Dear Asuna, please put down your sword. It's not nice to point sharp things at our new employee."

Asuna locked eyes with the slayer. Finally, she lowered her rapier at which point Sinon shot Kirito in the face.


"Do you always shoot people in the face?" asked Asuna.

"Only those who ripped me off."

"Ladies, please! There's no need to fight over me! There's enough of me to go around!"

Sinon stared down Kirito so hard Asuna was sure the slayer was going to shoot lasers out of her eyes. Then she moved ahead of them, scouting by herself.

In the heat of the moment, all of them forgot about the fact that the inn was a «Safe Zone», save for Sinon, who knew exactly what she was doing.

The arrow stuck into Kirito's forehead like a toy suction bullet and were SAO a more advanced game with proper simulations of the human body then Kirito would have needed to change pants.

"Are you okay?"

"Stop fussing over me, Asuna. I'm fine."

"Your hands are shaking."

"I'm having a weird feeling of déjà vu as if I've been shot before, by the same person."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Sinon, still overhearing their conversation, moved further along.

It had been a while since Sinon travelled with a group and she only realised how noisy other people were. Kirito loved to chat and Asuna was wearing mail, jingle jangling so much it was likely to scare away all the animals in a one kilometer radius.

And then there were the animals; Kirito came with his donkeys packed with supplies, leaving the wagon back in town; such a wheeled vehicle would do badly out in the wilds.

Instead of his expensive robes, he was wearing proper adventuring clothes. A thick tunic, a warm jacket, a hat, and the best travelling boots money could buy (she was sure it was enchanted). He had a staff in hand and looked more like someone going camping instead of hunting dangerous beasts.

They reached a site that Sinon found sufficient for camping: a cave on the side of a hill. "I've used this place before, we can stay here for the duration of our hunt. We can grab some water from a nearby river."

Asuna and Sinon went to collect some water and when they returned to the cave, Kirito had done some …. redecorating.

The hunter's mouth was agape. "What the hell …"

Asuna shrugged. "Oh yeah. He does that."

Just a few minutes ago, the cave was, well, a cave. A nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with worms and smelling of bat poop.

There was a door, bare as the wooden wall that covered the cave's entrance, a steel pipe acting as a chimney, as well as a mat. It read: Home Sweet Home.

The girls entered.

The cave was bright - numerous sconces were installed in the cave wall and lanterns hung from the ceiling. The cave floor was covered with planks and furniture including cots, tables, stools and a counter. In the middle of the cave was a fire and cooking equipment and next to it was a squatting Kirito.

"But how?" asked Sinon. This wasn't camping, this was glamping.

Kirito, now in an apron and hair tied back simply said, "It's called «Carpentry», dear slayer. Maybe you should invest in some «Skills» that doesn't involve murder."

Asuna peered into the distance. "Did you build a pen for the donkeys at the back of the cave?"

"The finest for all of my employees."


After dinner (and a good one at that Sinon had to admit), they gathered around the counter for the plan. A map of the surrounding forest laid on it.

"So, remind me again what you need me to hunt?" Sinon asked.

Kirito pulled out a notebook. "See, there's a market for bear capes, popular amongst players who roleplay barbarians from the Hyborian Age. Light enough to wear all the time, strong enough to deflect arrows, and fashionable enough to look good on everything."

Sinon nodded. "I've gone after bears before."

"No, no, dear Sinon. I need you to to go after the «Fowlbear»."

Asuna spoke up, "I've heard of those. Isn't that one of those Legendary Animals? So rare that we aren't even sure they exist in-game? I don't know Kirito, that sounds dangerous. You'd need a party to go after something like that."

Sinon tsked. "What, it's a bear that has the head of a chicken? I can do that."

"Have you even hunted a fowlbear? Seen one?" asked Kirito.

"There's a first time for everything."

Kirito placed a book on the counter: Holy Animals of the Forests and Other Endangered Animals. "Ah, ah. See, to actually attract the thing, you'll have to hunt down certain other items: totems, plants, offerings, that sort of thing. This fowlbear, it's less of a beast and more like a spirit. A religious icon in itself."

"So you want me to appease this spirit of nature to lure it out of the immaterial realm, kill it, skin it, all in the name of capitalism?" Sinon asked.

"You don't have to be so accusatory, slayer-san."

"I'll do it." This was at least different then the routine of track, kill, skin and repeat. "Maybe it'll be fun."

"Do you need help?" offered Asuna.

"Nah, it's good."


It wasn't fun, she should have taken the help, and it wasn't good.

The first item on the list was flowers. "It's a sunflower."

"Oh well, there's plenty of them around. What's the issue?" said Sinon.

"It needs to have exactly 100 petals. No more, no less."

"A bit of a drag, but it's doab-"

"And you need 100 of each."

She reached a particularly large field of sunflowers west of the cave. It only took a few minutes to clear out the «Giant Hummingbirds» and another to collect two to collect the sunflowers. But after every few hours, the birds would return, and she had to kill them again. It took her what felt like an eternity, this process of collecting and killing. By the time she was finished, there was a hill of the birds that probably was a fortune in feathers and meat.

But that's not what she was here for. She had flowers to pick, dammit.

It took her three days of non-stop collecting and killing. Sinon levelled up twice in those seventy plus hours.

When she returned, Kirito had just finished smoothing the cave walls and Asuna was on cooking duty. "Ah, you're back! How was flower gathering?"

Sinon dropped the sack of sunflowers and fell face first on the floor, asleep.

She awoke a day later with a bandaged nose.

"Now, onto the next item on the list!"

"If it means never counting anything ever again or seeing anything yellow, I'll do it," said Sinon with a mouth full of bread.

"It's a stone idol that belongs to a tribe of nearby goblins. If we play our cards right, we can get it without fighting." He showed her a sketch: it was a statue of what she assumed was the fowlbear.

"Pray tell, why would a bunch of goblins part with their sacred totem?"

Kirito gave her that million yen smile. "You'll see."


They arrived at the goblin village the next day, bringing one of the donkeys along. Think of the typical peasant settlement, except built for people who were three feet tall. That's what a goblin village looks like. The temple that housed the idol was in the middle of the village which was the size of a normal house but by goblin standards was quite large.

The hardworking goblins eyed the travellers suspiciously, especially at the flamboyant merchant wearing brightly coloured robes. There were just the two of them and Sinon hadn't seen Asuna since she woke up from her day long slumber.

The village chief, a particularly chubby goblin with a white bushy beard (it was fake, the string was visible) and wearing a straw hat that was too big for him came to Kirito.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" she whispered.

"Of course I know what I'm doing!" he whispered back.

The goblin chief spoke to the strange merchant in his tongue: "Gobbo, gobbo gobbo?"

"Gob! Gobbo gobbo gobbo!"

The chief scratched his chin. "Gob. Gobbo gobbo da gobber gobbo?"

Kirito nodded enthusiastically. "Gob gob!"

With that, the chief took a look at Sinon and left.

"What the hell just happened?" asked Sinon.

"The chief and I were discussing a contract, duh."

"I didn't know you speak Goblish."

"Actually, the term is Goblinese. Don't be insensitive, dear slayer."

The contract in question was on the killing of what the goblins called 'the demon' whatever that was. As she did the exploring, Kirito stayed at the village selling his wares. Regardless of what the 'demon' was, she'll know it when she sees it.

She was somewhere deep in the forest when she felt a presence. Sinon drew her composite out of her case and aimed it at the newcomer.

A handsome dog looked back at her. It was a shiba inu.

Sinon's ice cold heart melted. "Aww! Why are you here, little guy? Did you lose your master?"

"Bark!"

"Whossagoodboy?Whossagoodboy?" She could be his master. She would name the dog Riceball-sama and love her as her own child.

The shiba inu opened its cute wittle mouth and a mass of tentacles appeared and then its body combusted into flames.

Boss music started playing.

[Dark Souls 3 OST - Vordt of the Boreal Valley by Motoi Sakuraba]

Sinon frowned. "Nevermind."

They battled. It was very epic and very cool, Sinon was being a cool archer girl and slew the demon heroically. The details don't matter and if you were wanting detailed fight scenes, go read the other fic.

When she returned with the beast's head in her sack, the village erupted into celebration. They got out the food, the drinks, music started playing. Sinon sat sheepishly in the middle of the village as she was crowned champion of the village. Then even smaller goblins (goblin children she would later learn) asked her to repeat the story of how she vanquished the demon.

They left the village the next morning.

"Were you selling figures?"

"I sell many things."

Sinon produced a toy from her pocket. "You had this planned all along."

"That's a random elven hero! The fact she has blue hair is totally coincidental. Don't be so self assured, dear slayer." Kirito refused to make eye contact.

"What happened to getting the village's stone idol anyway? We didn't even enter the temple."

Instead of answering, Kirito just whistled.

When they returned to the cave, Sinon noticed a new addition to the room. "This is the stone idol."

"Yup!" said Kirito.

"It's huge. It's the size of one of the donkeys."

"Yes, it was very heavy," said Asuna, who was cleaning a pick and chisel. One of the donkey's was snoozing in the pen.

"You used the party as a cover for stealing the idol," said Sinon accusingly.

Kirito shrugged. "Goblins are paying customers. Would you rather slaughter not just the men, but the women and children too? Killing them would be a net deficit to my business."

"Ugh. Whatever. What's next on the list?"

This would be the last item for the ritual and Kirito saved it for last due to its extreme difficulty. She'd gone this far for this crazy merchant's harebrained schemes so she might as well do it.

"I need you to …"


Sinon found herself in the middle of a lake. It was a foggy morning and she could barely see what was in front of her.

She felt the beast though. A sixth sense she manifested after months in the game. It had allowed her to survive numerous dangers, wake up at the last second before a bear is on her, and allowed her to notice the dangers that snuck up on her. It was like having an in-built radar or a second pair of eyes behind her head.

She was ready.

She could feel the beast getting closer. She nocked an arrow, the best broadhead arrow money could buy. At the butt of the arrow was a long piece of string - Crimson Spider Silk - more akin to a steel cable than a piece of fiber. At the end of said string was a high-level fishing pole - the Neptune's Trident 3000. There was a large and heavy rock on the boat with chains wrapped around it; her insurance.

Sinon had hunted wolves and bears, slain unimaginable terrors from the earth and duelled arrows with the best of the Elves. She'd never think to add fish to the list. When asked why not just used the fishing pole itself, Kirito explained that it had to be shot because the thing's teeth was so sharp it would merely bite through the string.

Welp, first time for everything.

She grabbed the bait, a big fat worm, and tossed it into the lake.

A moment later, a bubble popped in the surface of the water.

She loosed her shot. She did not miss.

Sinon grabbed the chains and locked it with a padlock and grabbed the fishing pole. It would do for a makeshift seatbelt.

Then she held onto the fishing pole for dear life.

The boat moved at a horse's trot, then a full gallop, the speed increased the longer it went. It was like riding a cart attached to the back of a car.

She did this for quite a long while.

When the boat slowed down to an almost halt, this was her chance. Sinon pulled the pole back and reached for her spear. This thing must have been gigantic -

- only for the fish to flop down into the boat. It was the size of an ordinary salmon. In fact, it was just an ordinary salmon.

Sinon sighed and drove her spear into it. Her spear, which did a respectable 120 Damage, reduced the fish's health bar from 10,000 to 9,890.

«Beast of the Foggy Lake, Lord of Fish» appeared in her HUD.

She was getting really tired of hearing that boss music.

The stabbing took an hour.


It was almost the middle of the day and the stage was set.

Baskets of sunflowers - check. A large ring of the flowers were set in the middle of the clearing.

The stone idol - check. Dragging the thing to the ritual spot took hours.

The Lord of Fish - check. Asuna took the fish from a cooler and placed it on the altar; how on Aincrad Kirito found the ice was a mystery to Sinon.

Kirito stood a far distance from the circle. "Are you ready for this, slayer?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"Those arrows any good? Had to haggle with those goblins but those poison arrows will serve you well, I think. Don't worry, I won't pull that out of your pay." He winked.

"Don't worry, I'll kill it. That's what you paid me to do."

"It's set!" said Asuna as she ran towards them.

"Now we wait for …" Kirito pulled his sleeve and looked at his non-existent watch. " … for five more seconds. Aaand now!"

As the sun reached its zenith and the clock struck twelve o'clock, a sudden gust of wind blew on the clearing. The sunflowers flew into the air and engulfed the clearing in a small tornado. The eyes of the stone idol glowed green and a tear in reality opened violently. The players closed their eyes as bright light engulfed them.

When they opened their eyes, they were beholden to the strangest of creatures.

The fowlbear, true to its name, was a bear with the beak of a chicken and beautiful white fur covering its body and black feathers covering its head. Even if it was all a bunch of 1s and 0s, Sinon had never something as majestic as the fowlbear.

As it exited the tear in reality, it sniffed at the fish and consumed it in a single gulp. Then it merely observed.

++ PEACE, STRANGER.++

Was that a voice in her head?

++ YOU HEARD ME, WARRIOR. I AM YOGOTH URSA, GUARDIAN OF THE FOREST. YOU CANNOT HIDE YOUR INTENTIONS FROM ME.

++ I KNOW THAT YOU WISH TO BRING ME HARM, TO SLAY ME AND CREATE COIN FROM MY DEATH.

++ BUT KNOW THIS, DO SO AND YOU WILL DAMN US ALL. ANIMALS WILL LOSE THEIR HOMES, THE RIVER SHALL BE POISONED, AND THE FOREST WILL BE NO MORE. BUT IF YOU SHALL LEAVE, KNOW NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU.

++ NOW WHAT WILL YOU DO? ++

As the fowlbear said this, it looked at Sinon. She felt the green eyes of the spirit bore into her, staring right at her very soul. Her breath became haggard, she felt cold sweat down her back, and her bow arm shook. She turned around and shouted to the merchant:

"Kirito, did you know about this?!"

"Of course I did!" said Kirito, hiding behind Asuna some thirty yards away from Sinon and the summoning circle. "What of it?"

She shouted, "If the fowlbear is a spirit of the forest, and no doubt a lynchpin of the ecosystem of this floor, wouldn't killing it greatly damage or even outright destroy the environment?"

Kirito rolled his eyes and shouted back. "It's just flavour text, kill it and it'll respawn!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!"

"How are you sure?"

"We've done miniboss summoning rituals just last week, it'll be fine! That's how it's designed!"

"Yeah but what about the forest and the animals and the river ..."

"That's not how quests work in this game!"

This continued for twenty minutes.

"Look! The fowlbear is fading away!" said Asuna, pointing ahead.

Sinon turned back. Sure enough, the tear in reality opened again, and the fowlbear was reentering it.

Instinctively Sinon drew her bow. One shot, and she would begin the battle. Could she do this? Could she doom the land to waste and poison the rivers? Was her sense of professionalism greater than her own humanity? Goblin poison dripped off the arrowhead.

The fowlbear turned its head to her. ++ I KNEW THERE WAS GOOD IN YOU, SLAYER ++ Then, it began to enter the tear.

In the end, she lowered her bow. Damn the merchant, she was human after all. "If I'm to choose between one evil and another… I'd rather not choose at all," she said to herself.

"You know," Kirito shouted, "failure to complete the contract means you'll have to do preliminary business of gathering the summoning components for our next hunter, and that does mean you'll have to collect all those sunflowers again."

No hesitation - Sinon shot the fowlbear in the face. The tear closed and the forest spirit came charging right at her.

The battle was very epic and blood was spilled, bla bla, her quiver was spent, bla bla, Sinon almost died, bla bla, and this and that.

By the time the battle was done, Sinon skinned the beast, walked over to the merchant and deposited the pelt into his arms.

"We good?"

"We good."


A week passed and Kirito finally had the cape in hand.

It was beautiful. The «Fowlbear Cape» was a masterwork craft product, laboured for hours under the skilled hand of the best tailor in SAO. It was important for Kirito to get to know so many crafters, seeing as he wasn't a dedicated crafter.

"Hope that's to your specifics, hun. A bit tough to do but well worth, I think," said Ashley who appeared very pleased with her own work.

"Always knew I could count on you, dear Ashley. Pleasure doing business with you," said Kirito. Paying Ashley was expensive, but the profit he would make from the cape would be worth it.

When Kirito exited her store, he was grabbed by his collar and dragged into an alley.

"Wait, don't kill me! I have money! Oh hey, Sinon. How's work treating you?"

Sinon looked different from before. For one, her gear was a lot nicer, and she looked like she had a new bow. But there was something off with her eyes. Oh yes, it was the constant twitching.

"You've ruined me."

"Hey, listen, if you bought some crummy arrows that's on you; I triple check my inventory these days."

"You don't understand." Her left eye twitch and it was making Kirito very uncomfortable. "The secret quest got out. People are currently farming the fowlbear. Over and over."

"Oh?"

"And they're all hiring me to do it, because only I've got the «Survival» requirement. I've done the damn quest four times. I won't do another."

"You could just, you know, refuse …."

"They won't stop bothering me!" Sinon's nose was touching Kirito's. The speed of the eye twitch accelerated. "They PM me, they try to buy me drinks, they knock on my inn door all the time. I've tried hiding in the woods, but no matter how far I go on this floor, people somehow find me anyway. You will take me away from this. As far as possible."

"O-okay. I guess I could use another bodyguard. You're … hired?"

"Cool, thanks." And in an instant, the slayer went from madwoman to cool professional and her eyes stopped twitching. She picked up a nearby backpack and slung it over her shoulder. "Where are we heading next? Please tell me there aren't any flowers."

The merchant fixed the collar of his robes. "Ah, that. Well you're in luck, because where we're going, there won't be any trees. Have you ever heard of the great city of Mankhlar?"

"Who hasn't? It's an entire level but it's all city.""

"The great city! Great danger and great profits! There we will clash with another player." Kirito's smile turned into a frown. "A tyrant, a gangster, a horrible, horrible person. My arch-nemesis. They call her …. The Rat."


Kirito: Hey Sinon, look we've got reviews!

Sinon: Reviews? Is there an in-game app for that or …

Kirito: First chapter's got six and now we had ten reviews for the second chapter! I think this is very positive growth Kirito Corporation's growth, if I do say so myself.

Sinon: Asuna, what the hell is he talking about? Who's he talking to?

Asuna: Don't worry about that, he does it from time to time, talking to thin air. I think it's his brain going through a mental break. Best not bother him.

Kirito: If you want more content for Merchant Prince be sure to leave a review and tell your friends! The more reviews, the better the chapter, satisfaction guaranteed! And the customer is always right! *winks*

Sinon, backing away slowly: Hmm, I think that's a good idea, yes.