It takes us another two days before we pack our stuff and move on. Those last forty eight hours are mostly spent in bed, or in the shower, with Ranger and I doing the dirty dance.

Lea hugs us Goodbye and tells us to come back soon. I will definitely be back, with or without the man occupying the driver's seat once again.

Ranger decided to drive all the way through to Wasilla from Watson Lake, a seventeen hour drive, which is only an hour away from the Rehab Ranch. Which means we will have a long day ahead of us. I already booked a hotel in Wasilla, so that we can stay there overnight before continuing on to the Ranch.

I chose the Ranch specifically because it isn't a typical Rehab facility. It is a working Ranch, where the Patients are encouraged to help muck out the stables, help feed the animals and tend to the garden. It seems like the perfect place for Ranger, because I could not imagine him lasting long in a facility that does paint by numbers and the likes.

The price tag for this place is quite high and even before I started my research Bobby, Tank and Les assured me that they would foot the bill no matter the cost, so it wasn't an issue to reserve a place for Ranger. For whenever he was ready or whenever we would force him into it.

Ranger told me yesterday that the Core Team sent him an email announcing they would deem him unfit to lead, if he didn't complete the program. That made me angry on his behalf. How dare they just turn their backs on him? But like Ranger explained, it is about what's best for Rangemen, not their friendship. I do believe he will complete the program, because Rangemen means everything to him, but if it sticks, only time will tell.

This car ride is different from the others. To take his mind of what will be at the end of this drive, I tell him stories from my childhood, about all the trouble my grandmother would get herself and us into. I just told him about the time she came home drunk and high, raiding the fridge for something to eat and my dad nearly shot her, because he thought she was an intruder. "Dad needed a stiff drink after that and Grandma kept on giggling because she was so high" I laugh.

"I would have needed a stiff drink after that too. Edna has always been a handful, huh?"

"Oh yeah, ever since Grandpa died, she decided to live it up. As if the day she buried him a switch flipped and she became this cool, yet insane person."

"Maybe their relationship wasn't a great one?" Ranger remarks and I pause.

"I never thought of it that way." I think back to the time when Grandpa was still alive. "I remember him being strict, whenever we visited. My grandma never wore pants back then and definitely dressed more conservatively."

"My grandmother didn't become as crazy as Edna after her husband died, but she was definitely less subdued. It must have been pretty bad. I remember my father urging my mom to get her out of that house multiple times over the years, but my mother said my Grandmother didn't want that."

I let that sink in for a moment. "They were used to it, which is the sad part."

"Women as old as our Grandmothers were taught to be a certain way for their husbands, to not raise their voice and always listen to what they had to say. I am not saying that all women their age are like that, but quite a few were told the man is the king and you better do not dare to disagree."

"How far we have come with equality…"

"The problem is that that type of shit gets passed down from generation to generation. When it has been beaten into boys and girls from an early age and they witness it first hand in their own home, they don't know any different and it will be hard for them to unlearn it."

After a few minutes of silence, while I reflect internally on that nugget about my Grandmother, I ask "So did your grandmother ever get up to anything wild?"

We trade stories back and forth for another few hours before making a pit stop, to put fuel in the car and our bodies. The Truck stop sandwiches look like they have been sitting on the counter for a few days, so we stop in the nearest town to have some lunch instead.

I download a quiz while we have lunch and the hours till our dinner stop are spent guessing our way through all types of questions, funny and serious.

Right after the border crossing, we have a giant, early dinner and a quick walk around the parking lot of the diner, before we are back on the road with another seven hours to go.


"Steph?"

"Mhh?" I respond, not wanting to wake up from the nice dream I just had. Ranger and I, along with our friends at a beach, dressed up to the nines, celebrating. What we were celebrating I cannot remember, but it seemed important and I definitely felt happy.

Ranger chuckles and then pokes me again. "We are here, time to wake up snory."

"I don't snore" I grumble and open my eyes. "Please tell me that I am still dreaming."

"Why?"

"Cause it looks like it is snowing in October and my mind surely is making that up."

"Nope" Ranger chuckles again. "It started snowing an hour ago. Come on, time for bed."

I have a kink in my neck from where I was lying awkwardly against the window and I don't even remember falling asleep. I carefully move my head back, forth and around to ease the discomfort, before following Ranger out of the car. I move my legs, arms and torso as best as I can without jarring my injuries too much, while he grabs our bags out of the trunk, then locks up the car, before holding out his hand for me to take.

With ease my fingers find his and I follow him up the steps to the entrance of the Best Western. "What time is it?" I ask Ranger once we get inside.

"Just after one AM."

"How long was I out for?"

"Three hours. At some point you just turned quiet and when I looked over you were fast asleep." he answers with a bemused tone.

"I really wanted to keep you company" I pout. "Obviously I failed."

"Your snoring kept me company." He quips, leaving me staring up at him in pretend anger which makes him laugh and pull me closer. "You have a cute snore" he adds, but before I can retort, we arrive at the Front desk, where a smiling young man greets us. It's one AM and he looks like he just started the day, while I probably have drool on my chin.

"Good Evening, you must be Mr Manoso. Please complete this, while I get your keys ready." Tom, that's the name that's written on his name tag, greets us.

"How did you know it was us?" I question, curious.

"You are my last guests to arrive and also Mr Manoso called a couple of hours ago to let me know you would be later than anticipated" He says to me before turning to Ranger. "I hope the accident after Glacier View didn't give you too much trouble."

"None at all. Surprisingly emergency services got there quite quickly and cleaned everything up." Ranger tells him and hands the paper with his details back to Tom, along with his credit card.

"Would you like a late night snack?"

"No, thank you, just the keys."

Ten minutes later, Ranger ushers me into our suite. "Uhmm...this is not what I booked" I inform him, when I look around the spacious room. A big lounge with a TV is situated straight ahead in front of the floor to ceiling window doors, which lead out to a balcony. To the right there is a Dining room table and chairs, which has a nice welcome basket sitting on top.

In the far right corner is an open door that I discover leads to a big bedroom, with a walk-in closet and a giant bathroom, featuring a walk-in shower with jets installed on two walls and a rain shower on the roof. A nice claw foot tub sits on top of a podium in the corner with more floor to ceiling windows overlooking the town.

"It is not. I changed it when I called ahead earlier." Ranger calls from the bedroom, while I continue staring at the bathroom. "After sleeping in motels and the cabin, it was time for something more luxurious," he adds.

"I don't need luxury" I turn around and walk back into the bedroom.

"You are getting in anyway." Ranger shrugs. "Listen…" I freeze midstep and brace myself for what he is about to say. I really hoped we would do this tomorrow, not right now when we are both dead tired and tempers bound to flare. I had time to think things over, after what he said to me two nights ago. I want him to give us another try. I want to try to help him through this. "...I would suggest you leave the car with me. You are in no condition to drive home, so I will book you a flight back to Trenton." OH, not where I thought this was going to go. I had one single focus these past couple of weeks and that was to get Ranger to the facility. I hadn't even thought of the trip back home. "I booked this Suite for another week or if you want it even longer, I leave that up to you. I can get a ticket with an open departure date or just give you my…" that is when I cut him off with a kiss.

"What was that for?" he asks in a husky tone, while I am trying to catch my breath.

"Thank you for being thoughtful."

"Babe, your injuries speak for themselves that I am not thoughtful."

I sigh and lean my forehead against his chest. I don't know how to tell him that I forgave him. I have no anger, no resentment towards him for this. He is already beating himself up enough over it.

"I know what you are going to say, but I will never forgive myself for this. For as long as I live I will always remember the moment when I 'woke' from being tasered and saw your face."

I shake my head. "Ranger…"

"Let's just go to bed." he announces and pulls away from me.


The next morning we don't talk much. We get up around eight AM, then have breakfast before getting back into the car to drive to the Ranch. We do not utter a word all the way there.

The place looks beautiful from the outside, a big cabin style house surrounded by trees on one side and wide open land on the other. In the distance, I can spot cows and horses on the fields. "Wow" I say when I step out of the car. I breathe in clean, cold country air. The snow that fell yesterday has long disappeared, courtesy of the warming sun.

Ranger grabs his bag from the backseat and then rounds the car. He comes to stand right in front of me. "Well...we made it."

"That we did." I agree.

"Listen..." Ranger lifts my head with both of his hands and then leans his forehead against mine. "...I need some time to work on myself, maybe it will only be six month, maybe a year...I don't know...I know I have no right to ask this of you, to put your life on hold for something that may never happen, but can you wait for me?"

"Ranger…" I start, but he presses his lips to mine to silence me. I let out a sigh and the kiss makes me wish we weren't here, but instead back in the hotel room.

"If you meet someone else during that time, I will understand. I can't prevent that from happening, but maybe not actively seek out dating anyone else…?" He pulls away and runs his hands over his head. After a moment of starring at me, he adds "Fuck...forget what I just said. I am an asshole for even saying any of this." When I open my mouth to tell him that I would happily wait for him, because I am still in love with him, he continues "Let's just see what happens, okay? Don't wait for me, don't put your life on hold for me. Just live your life to its fullest possibilities and if, when I am ready, you still want to talk to me, despite what I put you through, we can go for dinner or something like that."

"Okay" I nod, knowing that he wouldn't want to hear anything else right now.

"Take care of yourself, Babe" And after one last kiss, he grabs his bag and walks up the stairs and building.

The taxi, he ordered earlier, is already waiting for me to take me back to Wasilla. I grab my phone out of my bag and dial Bobby as soon as we pull away. If I don't do this now, I won't be able to later on, judging by the tears that are already threatening to fall from my eyes.

"Steph?"

"It's done. He just walked into the Ranch."

"Thank you." He sighs with relief "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." I reply honestly. "I am gonna stay another few days here and then take a plane back. Ranger is keeping the car. Gives me time to...I dunno...work through the last couple of weeks."

"You know you can call me at any time, right?"

"Thanks Bobby."

"If you want to stay longer, let me know, we will foot the bill."

"Ranger has already taken care of that" I say with an emotional clogged throat. "He told the hotel to not accept any form of payment from me."

"Good. At least something he is doing right."

"Bobby…"

"No, Steph, he will have to answer for the shit he did." Bobby answers angrily. "I am sorry, but you have no say in this. We will handle this the way we always do."

"Just don't ruin his pretty face" I joke, while tears are now falling freely down my cheeks.

"Cannot make any promises."

"Thank you Bobby."