Date posted: 18th June 2021

I recognised that canon has given us Argo's real name, but as I've been saving Argo's made up name for the longest time (as in, since 2015-ish), I've chosen to use this original name for her instead. Sorry not sorry, canon purists, but if you've been reading this far, you probably don't care either.

Thanks to TC for editorial bullying. Pls no bully.


Chapter 7: The Prince and the Pauper

"Do it for the working class."

- Disco Elysium

If you told Rikka Shinozaki that she would be stuck in a video game, she'd laugh and tell you to reign in your overactive imagination. "Don't you think you're watching too much of your crappy isekai animes?"

Yet here she was, isekai'd into a video game like one of those crappy animes that were so popular.

If you told Rikka Shinozaki that she'd find treasure, she'd also laugh and stop telling you to be naive. "Treasure doesn't just appear to you while you're having your lunch break."

Yet here she was, sitting on a bench near a river, when treasure just appeared before her on her lunch break. She almost dropped her bento.

She looked left and right. The street was deserted, one of the few in Mankhlar. It was a ways away from the Foundry, and she always came here because she needed her peace and quiet. Mostly because her fellow workers smelled. Like she was sure they only bathed once a week. True, she didn't smell like roses either, and working in the heat, sweating was inevitable, but at least she knew the existence of this magical product called soap.

She placed her lunch on the bench and carefully approached the crate on the riverbed. There were multiple of them, still shut tightly, completely unmarked. Thankfully she had her handy crowbar; great for bashing heads and useful to pry open mysterious crates. Much handier than a sword.

With practised precision, she opened the first crate. Its contents surprised her. This can't be …

Lisbeth lifted the breastplate out of the box, shining black. It was masterfully made and looked like it could take on a ballista bolt without a scratch. The amount of money she could get from this find could set her up for life! She could quit her stupid job at the Foundry, maybe open her own smithy, and never, ever, have to go to work for minimum wage ever agai-

"Og gob."

She spun around to see a trio of goblins. Both were wearing bandanas, all of them were carrying weapons. Uh oh.

The hooded one pointed to the crate and then pointed to himself. "Ug bog."

Oh no. This must be those goblin revolutionaries she had been hearing so much about. She raised her crowbar in defiance. "Stay back! This is mine!"

The hooded goblin turned to the big female goblin with the big club. Even through her bandana, Lisbeth could see she was smiling. "I'll … I'll hit you! I've got 18 STR!"

Before she could act, the smallest of the bunch flicked open his cloak and Lisbeth felt just the slightest pain on her collarbone. "Wha-"

Then the junior, underpaid, smith collapsed onto the ground. A string of Z's string out above her head. The smallest goblin retrieved the dart from the human.

Club the Bruiser stomped her feet, complained to her comrade she hadn't bonked a humie in ages. Patch the Knife ignored the comment. Doc Hood whistled and moments later, a boat floated down the river with half a dozen goblins with nets and hooks. They loaded the crates onto the boat licketly split while Club hoisted the unconscious smith and threw her in the trash. As quickly as they appeared, the goblins disappeared.

Lisbeth woke up hours later, returned to her workplace, and found out she was fired.


Argo had done a lot of difficult things when she got stuck in this game; setting up her spy network, amassing a wealth of information about the game, cracking that boulder with her bare fists that one time. All of that was a piece of cake compared to her newest accomplishment.

Yeah sure cat herding was hard, but was herding the heads of the four biggest guilds in the game under a banner of peace and getting them to put away their weapons hard?

The latest guild leader entered the room and was face to face with a rival. There were three others in the room. A burly woman in red, she showed no surprise outside of one raised eyebrow. "Ave, General Eugene of the Shouidan Gun. I pray that you are in good health."

The general, a hulking man in orange brigandine, flashed teeth. "And you as well, Legatus Scipio of the Sons of Mars. How are you doing, Thinker?"

A slim plain looking man in a military uniform that belied his intelligence nodded. "Doing as well as we can. Rosalia, hope you haven't been robbing newbies as of late."

A pretty redhead clad in lack was picking her nail with a long knife. "Of course not, Minato-kun. We are a completely legitimate company of adventure, haven't you heard?"

The chatter was broken up with a smack of a gavel. "Order! Order in the … meeting room, I suppose."

The guild leaders looked about the room. A neat high-class meeting room in one of the more luxurious hotels in the Merchant's District, a chandelier hung from the ceiling, there was a lovely rug underneath them, and velvet curtains covered the walls for both sound insulation and to keep prying ears out. They could just hear the faint rush of traffic outside. There were no windows though their in-game clocks said it was eleven in the morning. At the end of the table was an old woman and by her side was a blonde girl with painted whiskers as well as a man in simple but well made clothes.

"Mason, should have thought it was you," said Eugene. "What's all this then?"

"Uh, hello! I'm the mastermind here! So maybe talk to me first!" the Rat whined.

"I have no idea who you are," said Rosalia.

"I'm the Rat, the best info broker in the entire game! Show some respect, lady!"

"I thought the Rat was a man," said Scipio, taking her seat.

Eugene chuckled. "There's no way the Rat is some tiny high schooler with badly painted warpaint."

"No, no, this is indeed SAO's famous info broker," said Mason. "We've known each other since the beta. Argo, please don't try to get into a fistfight with Eugene."

He finally let go of the info broker's scruff. She fixed her collar. "Anyway, we have a proposition. As you know, the ALF and Shouidan Gun are backing the Tyrant, while the Sons of Mars and the Titan's Hand are backing the Thieves Guild ..."

It took half an hour. All that time, the guild leaders paid attention, with nary an interruption. Iudex Palatina took the lead with Argo and Mason adding the details. When that was done, the Rat said, "Alright, any questions?"

Rosalia raised a hand. "Yes, tell me, why on earth should we abandon our contracts? Do you know how much money we're making?"

Thinker added, "As much as I hate saying it, she's right, Argo-san. Running a guild is an expensive business, and the Tyrant is paying very well."

"Thinker, buddy, you're working for a guy named The Tyrant."

He shrugged. "He is the legitimate ruler of Mankhlar, and frankly, if he pays well then so be it."

"Both sides are going to kill each other, you realise that, right?" said the Rat. "Are you really going to murder each other, just so you can advance to the next Floor?"

"We are not going to kill each other. We plan to settle this through completely non-lethal ways and if we have to break the bone of every member of the Sons and the Titan's Hand, so be it."

"What if your men accidentally kill each other. You realise that's what Kayaba wants, right?"

Thinker sat straighter and looked away. "Then that's a small price to pay."

"Agreed," said Scipio. "That and the fact the Sons of Mars will be victorious in this conflict, even if we were fighting 1v3."

Eugene laughed. "Ah, that's why I like you, Scipio. You think just because you're a bunch of Romanboos, we're all a bunch of barbarians that you can slaughter through."

"Are you still angry that we took the colour red for ourselves?"

The big man folded his. "That is the past, we don't care about that anymore." No one believed him.

Rosalia patted Eugene on the shoulder. "There, there, Eugene. I for one think you look dashing in your fireman orange."

Iudex Palatina spoke up, "Gentlemen, please. Consider this: the skirmishes between the gang and the guard have resulted in plenty of destruction. The Tyrant's guardsmen have been losing their most veteran units and the Thieves' Guild their top enforcers. Both of them are losing money, and both of them, likely, could not pay you."

"They could if one side consumes the other," said Thinker.

"At the cost of possibly killing Miss Scipio and Miss Rosalia?" asked the judge.

Thinker shrugged. "I'd kill Rosalia for free, honestly. She is just an extremely unpleasant person."

Rosalia stood up. "Oh, you wanna go, General Nerd? Bet you can't fight on the front like a real man!"

"Says the woman who sends her rookies to ambush farmers!"

"Rosalia please, this is unbecoming of us. Don't rise to Thinker's petty threats," said the Legate. "We are better than this."

"You've always looked fat in red, by the way," said Eugene.

The Legate gripped the table hard. "Let's fucking go, you idiot meathead! I'll serve your heart to Mars himself!"

"Always with the stupid Romanboo crap, nobody cares! You're not impressing anyone!" yelled Eugene.

"ALF ite domum!"

"I don't even even know what that means! Speak Japanese you weirdo!"

The meeting room erupted into threats, insults, snides, and Latin cursing that would likely break the Teen rating for this fic if they were to be translated. Iudex Palatina pinched the bridge of her nose and Mason massaged a temple.

There was a meaty thunk in the table and a sharp broadsword materialised right in the middle. The Rat was there, fury in her eyes. "Oh. My. God. Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Mason looked down to his waist. "How did you -?" He sounded more confused than angry.

Argo slammed a fist into the table nearly tipping it over with her absurd STR. "You idiots can't escape this stupid video game if you go around killing each other! We need all the manpower available if we want to get to the 100th Floor! How about you put your differences aside, stop this asinine sellsword roleplay, and talk like goddamn adults!"

There was a silence as the words sank in. The tension was so thick, it could have been cut with a blade.

The door opened and a man in an apron entered. "I've got sweetcakes and tea!" said Agil. All eyes were on him. "Oh, did I come in at a bad time?"

Iudex Palatina placed her glasses on the table. "Yes, let's take a break, shall we?"

The guild leaders were escorted to different rooms to rest and cool down. Argo, the Iudex and Mason had the room to themselves. Mason replaced his sword in his scabbard and asked her politely to not do it again. Argo clearly wasn't listening.

"Well this is going nowhere," said the older woman. "We must change tactics. We can promise them money after both the gangs and the guardsmen are defeated, but I would prefer the city keeps the money to repair all the damages done."

Mason added, "I've worked with most of these guilds, they're headstrong and prideful. We knew this wasn't going to be an easy road."

Argo was quiet. She slouched in a chair, suddenly exhausted with signs of an oncoming headache. Suddenly a notification popped up in her HUD: a message.

"How it'd go?"

"as badly as u expect"

"Can't convince them, huh?"

"nope. hate this part of negotiations."

"I think I have something that might interest them. Let me dig into my notes and I'll send you the deets."

Half a minute later, she received a text file. She read it quickly. Her eyes widened. She hastily replied: "U sure?"

"I'm sure."

"r u SURE SURE?"

"Yeah."

That was the saddest 'yeah' she had ever read.

Argo notified her companions immediately. It was Mason who took the news most skeptically. "No way, that's a myth. We combed that area for months in the beta. There's no possible way it exists."

"He said he actually found the place a while ago while trading in the region, and hunted down some obscure sources. He said it's real. Argus must have put it during release."

"If this is true, that is a lot of money, enough to buy half the guilds on Aincrad," said Palatina. "Your merchant friend, he's okay with this?"

"He isn't, but he's giving it to us."

Mason smiled. "That madman. Well, we have a card up our sleeve. Time to deploy it."

The old woman cracked her knuckles. "Let's get to."

A white later, the guild leaders returned to the table. Eugene spoke first, "I see no reason why we're still here. Neither of us are going to resolve this peacefully. If the Thieves Guild and the Tyrant want open war, then that's their business. If we're going to kill each other, that's our business too."

"I'm sorry this isn't working out Argo-san, but regardless, know that the ALF is still glad for your business," said Thinker; he honestly did seem upset at the resolution.

Rosalia cracked her neck. "Right, I've got a Shouidan caravan to assault in the next few hours, so if you've got anything else to say, little girl, say it now."

"Why you evil -"

"The sweetcakes were nice, I may need to employ your chef here," said Scipio, then her eyes narrowed. "Screw you, Eugene. I'm in good shape."

"Ow! Don't kick me, you bloodthirsty broad …"

"We don't feel pain, dumbass."

"We have one more offer," the judge snapped. She placed a piece of parchment on the table, expertly made despite her only having fifteen minutes to do so. The ink was still wet.

Thinker raised an eyebrow. "Is that …"

"It's a map of the 12th Floor," said Scipio. "I recognise this place, it's the southern part of the level. These are the hills of the beastmen. The boss for the level was a Troll Clan Confederation."

Eugene scoffed. "I know that place. The beastmen are eight levels higher than the normal range. The villages and forts are manned by hardy folks and the quests there were murder. A bunch of border villages don't pay much, as we found out. Beastmen didn't have any good loot either. Did an extermination quest a while ago, let's just say we didn't leave that place unscathed."

"Why are you showing us this?" said Rosalia.

Argo smiled, waited a moment, soaked in the tension. "There's a red dragon up there."

Stunned silence.

"No there isn't. The only dragons were on the 8th floor, and those aren't even real dragons, those were wyverns," said Scipio..

"I have it in good authority that there is a legitimate dragon up in those hills. The beast is called Red Raja, the beastmen worship him. He's probably tougher than the Troll Chieftain that you guys killed. For one, trolls don't fly. And where there's a dragon …"

"There is a hoard," finished Eugene. "I did see drawings and totems of dragons there. I thought it was just a reused game asset."

"You're all Level 20 plus. That was three floors ago. You're all stronger, you've got better gear, you've got more men. Imagine all the riches up those hills."

Rosalia laughed. "This is your trump card, is it, Rat? You expect us to take this bait, that for all we know, you pulled out of your butt, and get us to chase a thing that might not even be true."

"No, I heard about this in the beta," said Thinker. "That Argus put a red dragon in the game, it was supposed to be this epic thing, an endgame boss before the beta shut down for improvements. It was even in the trailers, remember? To me, it seemed it's actually a cut floor boss that got moved to a bonus area."

"So you believe this … this sudden bonus boss that we just found out about?"

"Yes. I believe that the Rat is indeed telling us the truth." He suddenly stood up. "We'll be leaving immediately. The ALF will end their employment with the Tyrant as of immediately."

"Wait, you can't just believe this brat, right?" said Rosalia. "She's scamming us, tell me you don't believe it!"

"You know," began Scipio. "I hear you've got pretty good archers in your ALF, Thinker. Maybe you need some infantry and skirmishers to battle the beastmen?"

"I'm glad you're offering, Legate. I think this would be a fine partnership between our two guilds."

"Damn it all!" Eugene stood up so fast his chair fell. "I've wanted to pay back those beastmen for a while now. It's a chance to wet my blade again."

"I can't believe this!" The redhead stood up. "You can't all be serious."

"I am ~," the Rat sang, "and I'll mark the X on this map, if all four of you take your guilds and leave the city for a wee while. How about it? I think the reason Rosalia doesn't want to go down there is because her guild is only good at ambushing and can't survive in a straight up fight."

The woman grit her teeth. "You've made an enemy of the Titan's Hand, Rat! Don't you forget it!"

"Enough with the threats Rosalia, it's unbecoming of you. She's right, you know, your thugs need to train on actual monsters instead of peasants and underleveled players," said Thinker.

Jackpot. "I'll send this map with the exact location when you're out of the city limits."

They shook hands on it.

Agil had brought in the tea and snacks. Iudex Palatina dipped her biscuit in her cup. "I daresay, Miss Argo, that was one of the toughest deals I've seen, and I've had to persecute ganglords in my time."

Argo had not touched hers. She slumped in her chair like jello. "Oh God, that was the toughest deal in my entire life. I'm dying." She needed a nap, ASAP.

Mason slapped a hand on her shoulder. "Well, don't. That was just the start. Now we need to make our move. Have you ever heard of this thing called unconventional warfare?"


It was a busy night in the Bar with No Name - a basement turned tavern tucked in the many alleys of Mankhlar's downtown, not unlike popular bars tucked between the great buildings of Tokyo. It was one of the more prestigious drinking establishments, the watering hole for a certain clientele: soldiers of fortune, crownlings, dog brothers, and sword-sisters, come to sate their thirst after a day of blood work.

Or they would be, had those damned Outsiders not come here and stolen their jobs.

(Not to be confused with the Nameless Bar, the Bar Without a Name, the No-Named Bar, or the Bar Without a Name. All five establishments were engaged in a deadly legal battle and each claimed that the other stole their trademark. The court case had been ongoing for two years at this point.)

The customers were from across the Castle and beyond. A squad of Azure Spearmen were playing cards in the middle of the bar, there was a burly Thronelander whose breastplate had every single type of coin hanging off it on one end, and a couple of bowmen from Nadyah were drinking tea in a corner. News abounded of an upcoming battle in the city and the NPC mercs were angry that all the best jobs had been taken by these new Outsider companies.

A man entered - clad in all white robes and in a green turban. He brandished a devastating weapon, the eight-string lute - the weapon of revolutionaries. A red-cloaked woman shadowed him.

He strummed his instrument, the sharp tune raised high above the clamour of the bar and all talk ceased. Every pair of eyes was on the handsome stranger. He revelled in the attention.

"Is this the establishment where all righteous men hate oppression?" he asked, his voice high and clear.

The bartender answered, "What? Hell no. Half the people here would kill their own mothers for a couple coppers. There's another bar a few blocks down though."

The bard made an 'o' sound, apologised and made a hasty retreat.

"I told you we should have asked for directions," chided Asuna.

"Yes, but it was good practice," said Sa'id.

NPC and PC found themselves at a bar with a less legally disputed name - the Broken Bottle. The clientele was the average man, the working man. Smiths and labourers spoke and laughed about the day, but there was a nervousness in their speech, of things to come. War was great for business, as long as it didn't come to the doorstep. The two seated themselves at the bar, and the bartender frowned.

"I know who you are," she said to Sa'id. "Brave of you to come swaggering in when half the city's looking for you."

"Madam, worry not, I only came to have a drink and enjoy life," he said, materialising coin on the counter. Asuna recognised that it was her employer's coin, the one he left back at the inn before the whole being chased by the law business. She could tell because he had a habit of polishing them to a mirror sheen.

The woman took a look at the shiny coin and was already reaching for the drinks. "Fine, but no politics."

"No politics," he promised.

An hour later, Sa'id stood on the table, strumming his lute like the vagabond-rebel that he was.

"What is the greatest struggle?!"

The bargoers answered enthusiastically, "TRUTH BEFORE TYRANTS."

"And what of the rich? The fat cats who lord over the common man? What shall we do with them?"

"EAT THE RICH. EAT THE RICH. EAT THE RICH."

A man came barging through the door. "It's the Guard! They're coming!"

Just as planned. "Henchmen of the One Percent are coming to beat you down! Are you gonna let them?"

"NO!"

"Then sally out and crush them!"

Minutes later, the squad of ten junior guardsmen, armed with batons and bucklers, and not a single ring of mail between them, were swallowed by a tsunami of angry burly smiths and labourers armed with hammers, bottles and stools. At some point, members of the Thieves Guild decided to join in on the fun too, but the same crowd turned against them as quickly as they savaged the lawmen.

Asuna and Sa'id watched the ensuing chaos as the riot broke out from across the streets.

"Isn't it beautiful, Asuna? Don't you love the spirit of revolution?"

"I see. The plan is to create such a civil disturbance, pick the guards and the gangs out one by one. Divide et impera."

The Su'luk played a little diddle on his lute. "Come the night is young, we have even more taverns to visit, more commoners to anger."

They made down the narrow alleys of downtown, the sound of the riot dimming the further they went. Asuna had her hand on her hilt, sword loose in the scabbard. She could feel eyes on them the moment Sa'id started singing in the tavern. It was only a matter of time until -

A burly man stepped out of the darkness. "Evening there."

Sa'id, who was behind her, tapped on the shoulder. "Yes, I know, there's someone behind us," she said calmly.

"Good sir and madam, in these trying times, will you be willing to help the needy? Would you be interested in donating to the orphanage?"

"My employer has told me about you. You're the guy who he slapped with a frozen fish."

The burly man frowned. "Unlike last time, we won't make the same mistake. The Guild's got a price on that bard's head too, and we plan to cash it in." As he said this, about ten more men emerged from both in front and behind them.

"What did you do to piss them off, now?" she asked the bard.

"Ah, I borrowed some money and had no time to pay it back. In that way, the Bastille was actually secure. But worry not, swordswoman, I shall back you up!"

"You're going to sing a jaunty tune and leave me to do the fighting."

"I am a singer, not a fighter," he said then played some battle music.

Eight minutes later, Asuna wiped the blood off her rapier. As a dozen men laid on the ground, clutching their knees. She had not lost a single hitpoint in the entire exchange.

The burly man was groaning in pain. "W-why did you stab us in the knee?"

"If you hit someone at a difficult to hit place, like their knees or their feet in melee you actually level your «Weapon Skill» faster," she said matter of factly.

"W-what the hell are you talking about, you crazy b-" A foot descended on the man's face and he was out cold.

Sa'id dusted off his boot as if he stepped in mud, as if he contributed to the fight in any meaningful way. "Now, that's done, let us make way to the next bar."

They hit the Stubborn Donkey next, raised a raucous and escaped just before a proper squad of guardsmen came knocking. These were not fresh recruits, but a proper squad of the Tyrant's veterans in mail and partial plate. The bar-goers were putting up a good fight, but it was clear they were losing. They snuck out of the back.

As they were crossing the street, a patrol of cavalrymen noticed the bard's bright turban. Now PC and NPC found themselves running through alleys but the guardsmen knew the streets just as well.

They made a left and found themselves in a cul-de-sac, a dead end. Half a dozen horsemen split up and approached them from both sides. They all had maces in hand and their silver spurs sparkled in the moonlight. The bard, a full grown man hid behind the swordswoman. "Asuna, wait, I have a plan."

Sa'id walked up to the squad leader. "Ho, officer! I know what you're thinking, we broke the law and now must pay a fine. Perhaps, this will be sufficient," then he tossed a pouch to the guardsman and it landed neatly on the saddle.

The guardsman didn't even look at the pouch and pulled out a crossbow. "Ah, I see you're not a fan, yes?"

An arrow plinked shattered on his helmet, dazing him. A shower of bolts came after throwing the horses into a panic and the riders off their steeds. The horses, somehow not dead, bolted off into the night.

A squad of goblins came shambling down the nearby buildings, tying the guardsmen with ropes and prying off their armour with practiced hands. A figure dropped in front of them clad in a green cloak. "First it was Kirito, now it's you two."

The Su'luk bowed graciously and thanked their saviour. Asuna shrugged. "I coulda taken them, you know."

"Maybe, but it was good practice for the gobbos," said Sinon. Asuna spied that a few of them had composite bows like the slayer which to their small size were almost as big as a longbow for a human. One of the new archers was the poor gobbo that Sinon grilled for dry firing his crossbow.

"I can have them go out on their own for now. They've got their own sergeants to listen to. You need an extra bow?"

Asuna smiled. "Sure. Three's a party."

They hit eight more bars throughout the night. The sheer size of the riot that was summoned with bawdy songs and angry poetry would have shamed every Clearer guild in the game. At some point, someone set fire to a guard outpost and now the rest of the downtrodden were joining in. The size of the riots had become such a hassle, that it was clear that the Tyrant was sending out almost all of his regiments. All the while, the trio were dodging patrols of both guardsmen and gangsters.

Now slayer and swordswoman were duking it out with a contingent of Thieves Guild members and guardsmen in a public park, some charging with batons and knives, some shooting with crossbows behind cover, an unspoken alliance between the two warring groups. Sa'id was hiding behind a tree, singing Rhea the Giant Killer and mocking their tastes in fashion.

"You know," said Asuna as she duelled a guardsman with a longmace, "I think we're overdoing it with our contracts at this point."

"What do you mean?" Sinon feathered a shooter hiding behind a bench. His comrade made a break towards a tree and was nailed in the shoulder for his trouble.

Asuna stepped onto the longmace and broke it with a vicious stomp. The guardsman promptly turned to run and was stabbed in the back. "I mean, at this point, I think we're overreaching our jobs as 'bodyguards'."

"Technically, we are bodyguarding. Just not our employer."

"And I do appreciate it, ladies!" Bolts thudded into the bard's cover. "Now, less chatting, more fighting!"

The lute sang as the rapier tip found a slit in a gangster's armpit. "I've been guarding him for months. I just think that …"

"We should ask for a raise?" There was a sharp twang followed by a yell.

"I think he's actually running low on money. He's given most of what he has to the rebels."

"What about that chest in the inn?"

"The goblins swiped them away with his permission." Asuna's current opponent was much tougher, a vicious woman with messer and buckler. "Do you notice how he's wearing way simpler clothes?"

"As he should. Lugging that wardrobe chest was pure pain." An arrow found itself in a guardsmen that tried to flank the swordswoman. Now Sa'id was singing Rise, Rise, Warriors of Aincrad.

"I think at this point, he's single-handedly funding half of the revolution. Or at least, a good chunk of it." Sinon grabbed a random bolt that was stuck in the ground and threw it at some unfortunate bastard that was closing in on them. She was running out of arrows.

"I noticed that the food Agil's been cooking tasted a lot better. And he's actually being super serious about the fish thing too," said Asuna, trying to overwhelm the buckler's defence.

The messer woman made a slip and that was sufficient for the swordswoman to finish her off with a thrust to her breast. Seeing their destroyed comrades, both forces made a hasty retreat. It was finally at that point the Su'luk stepped out of his tree, a bolt had embedded at the very top of his turban.

"I think that's enough rabble rousing for tonight, ladies. Perhaps we should retire for the night?"

Sinon plucked her arrows out of the bodies and replaced them in her quiver. "So what you're saying is, he's running out of -"

"Yes, basically."

Smoke was rising in the night, and this time, it wasn't from the forges of the city. Sinon looked up into the night sky and the stars weren't visible. "I am not going to go back to picking flowers."


It took a week to formulate the plan. It took thirty-six hours to execute it. The people would call it the Rightful Return of Mankhlar to Its Citizens, which was a real mouthful, but Sa'id somehow made it into a nice jingle.

It was a war of information, a battle for hearts and minds, a revolution for the ages, but it was mostly just plain violence at the end of the day really.

The amount of riots and strikes by Mankhlar's citizens was massive, to the point that the guardsmen were overwhelmed by the sheer amount of them. For every single one that was put down, two more took its place. The sudden disappearance of the Tyrant's Outsider mercenaries merely added to the problem. The goblins, invisible servants to the city, also helped by misdirecting, stealing important supplies, and spreading fake information. The city had come to a boiling point.

On one Sunday morning, Iudex Palatina, court officials and notable council members walked up to the gates of the Tyrant's Palace and nailed a long series of critiques to his gates, guarded by a mob of angry citizens.

(It took specially made nails and strong men to actually nail them, because it was around three hundred pages long and made with quality parchment and maybe like two people actually read it. A pamphlet of bullet points was distributed a short time later.)

On Monday morning, the Triple Towers of the Mankhlar foundry were closed. No one had come to work.

The sky cleared and the citizens of Mankhlar could see the blue above.

Argo had slipped a list of high ranking Thieves Guild members including certain members of the obscenely wealthy. Marvel Hill was suddenly reinforced by NPC mercenaries and smaller player guilds. Fearing a siege on their hands, the Marvellous also began stockpiling food, what few weapons they could get their hands on, and reportedly, a small mountain of toilet paper.

Argo's spy network finally located the Thieves' Guild headquarters - a warehouse complex that stored various leathers and fabrics under the innocuous name of Quality Fabrics Enterprise, a curiously large building with curiously large walls.

On Friday morning, the Raiders attacked. It was as if they emerged from thin air.

There were numerous eyewitness accounts as a hundred-twenty Clearers descended onto the Thieves Guild headquarters. Commander Emeri rallied disgraced watchmen and mustered angry youths to reform the Mankhlar Citizen's Watch, adding another three hundred troopers to their number, led by the commander and a swordswoman in a red cloak. They were outfitted by the Tyrant's own stolen arms and armour. From nearby rooftops, goblin skirmishers rained missiles led by a blue haired archer. Captain-general Mason led from horseback, banner and blade in hand.

Though the Thieves Guild numbered some four thousand men overall, most of them weren't even present at their base, thugs in leathers were no match for disciplined troops of spearmen, archers and a vanguard of plate armoured juggernauts. Stones, bolts and arrows bounced off shields and armour, the sound of marbles dropped onto the cobblestone. The watch and the Raiders split the gates open with a battering ram.

Hours later, the warehouse collapsed entirely, the smoke from the debris could be seen across the entire city. No man was spared.

When the news of the Thieves Guild collapsed reached the Tyrant, the guardsmen retreated into their steel rathole, situated just nearby from the Triple Towers foundry. It was a government complex turned pleasure palace, now besieged by an endless angry mob. But the walls were proper and the towers were manned. It would have taken war engines to take down the walls. It was not needed in the end.

In the middle of the night, a dozen Raiders emerged from the sewer system beneath the palace, slaughtered their way through the ramparts and opened the gates. Most of the guardsmen laid down their weapons, a few stubborn ones fought to the last and it took a whole day for the last longmace to drop.

The people of Mankhlar stormed the palace to find a perverse image of paradise, all gold and even a pool of wine. They found the Tyrant's pleasure chamber, a tub of Fairy Dust and a harem of pretty girls. The Raiders and the watchmen ensured there was no looting. Surviving guardsmen were imprisoned in the Bastille. The irony was not lost to anyone.

At a stagecoach at the southern part of the city, one Maximus Samos, also known as the Tyrant of Mankhlar, disgraced Councilman, was impatiently waiting for his ride. He wore a heavy coat with numerous precious jewels sewn onto it, just another waiting passenger. He was rudely interrupted from his cowering when a squad of watchmen came by asking questions. Cursing, he turned to flee, only to be face to face with a familiar mug. Besides him was a squad of angry looking goblins.

"Surprise, motherfucker," said Agil.

The last thing the Tyrant saw was a meaty knuckle sandwich.

At dawn, a young mother said in a hushed tone, "Did you hear what went down yesterday?"

Fumio the Fishmonger shrugged and said, "Sorry, but I don't care much about politics."


The goblin commune was almost deserted. Much of the goblins had come up to the surface to celebrate the overthrow of the Tyrant with the rest of Mankhlar. Many players in the city joined in, many more had moved on to the 16th Floor.

The reformed Council made a statement at the Tyrant's Palace, now retaken and properly called the Council Centre. There was much in the way of promises of reform, the updating of laws, the training of new militias, the rebuilding of social programs, trying to get the Marvellous to pay taxes, very boring and bureaucratic stuff. The Tyrant and his officers were paraded throughout the city before being finally placed into the Bastille for security.

Asuna entered the commune. "Hello! Anyone here?"

She passed some goblins on guard but neither of them had seen the merchant. She arrived at her room to see Kirito's cot was neatly made. There were a couple of pouches and a folded letter. Asuna picked up the pouches, there was easily 1,500 col in each of them. Then she picked up the letter.

She skimmed it and immediately went to find the other girls.

Hours later, they were still looking for him. The three girls had to pass through crowds of drinkers. It was as if the city just spawned extra NPCs for the sole purpose of filling the streets. It made the searching more frustrating. They had looked for him at the underground river, at the market, and at the merchant's guild headquarters.

"The goblins hadn't seen him, not even my other contacts know," said Argo. To hear her so serious was out of place. Ahead of them, Sinon was looking for the trail like a bloodhound.

The words of the letter were fresh in Asuna's mind. They were rushing down Hammer Street, where groups of burly smiths were making merry.

"How much money did you take anyway?"

"Don't use that tone with me, sword-girl. Kirito gave the money. I always assumed he had savings, he was always frugal with his cash. If he gave money, that means he has money."

"The letter said he was broke. He has no money, Argo."

"Kirito always has money," she said; it sounded she was trying to convince herself more than Asuna.

They turned the corner. In the city square, the Tyrant's guardsmen were in pillories and were having rotten fruit thrown at them.

"Where did he even get the money anyway? He can't exactly trade in this city," said Asuna.

"He sold his clothes, you know from that big chest of his? I had the gobbos swiped it from the inn you were staying, and everything else he had. He also had been pretty busy with his fish business."

"I thought he did it just to make extra coin."

"Asuna, he had been raking in plenty with the fish he's got. He has like 300 in «Fishing»."

Finally, they found him at the edge of Mankhlar gazing at the setting sun. Dangling his legs over the walls that surrounded the rings of each floor. Below were clouds as far as the eye can see. The merchant was clad in simple clothes, out of place compared to his usual expensive attire, a block of wood and carving knife in hand. Besides him were wooden carvings of figures, ranging from toys from horses to soldiers. They seemed to be of immaculate quality.

"There you are. You're a pain to track, you know?" said Sinon.

He didn't even look at them. "Oh, sorry to be a bother," he said. "If you were wanting to buy some figurines, they're not varnished yet. I don't have money to buy a can, so you gotta wait."

Asuna folded her arms. "Kirito, we need to talk."

He shrugged. "What's there to talk about? You've read the letters."

She unfurled the letter. "You have been an asset to the Kirito Corporation, bla bla, I don't have enough money to pay you, bla bla, according Clause 6-A in the case of employment termination, here's 1,500 Col."

"You skipped a few bits, but that sounds about right."

"I can't believe you dumped me! With a letter!"

"Excuse me?"

"I mean - uh, laid us off! That's what I said!" The swordswoman hid her face behind said letter.

"But how. I thought you were getting insurance?" asked Sinon.

"Despite what you may think, dear slayer, I'm actually not the game's best merchant. There are people far smarter than me who know how to wisely invest, how to haggle better, how to do their employees justice. I put all my eggs in one basket, on the Blackguard plate, and well, that didn't pay off. One string of bad luck, and there goes my entire business. As of immediately, the Kirito Corporation is bankrupt."

"Kirito, I don't think you know what bankruptcy means. Bankrupt is a legal term that means your debts are being cancelled. What you actually are, is broke," said Asuna.

Kirito made some sort of choking sound and Asuna immediately regretted it. Sinon and Argo both glared at her.

"What happened to the fish business?" asked Argo.

"Well the thing about that, apparently you needed a license to sell them, and well, I can't afford it. And even if I could, I've been blacklisted, so you know how it is."

He had a sad beautiful smile. "That's it. You girls are free to go. It's been nice knowing you."

There were tears in Argo's eyes. "Kii-bou, no! There's so much to live for!"

"Huh? Is that what you - I'm not gonna jump off Aincrad, Argo!"

"Oh. Well. Just ignore that I said that." Her face was pink and she started whistling.

"That just took a dark turn," said Asuna.

"Wait, wait, so that's it then?" said Sinon.

"That's it." He laid on the ground. The orange sun bathed his face.

Asuna was adamant. "But, but, the Mankhlar Council will surely reward you for all your work! I've been in that palace, there's gold everywhere."

"Uh, well, actually," said Argo, "most of it is gonna be melted down and be used to pay back for all the damages accrued during the Tyrant's reign. New hires, new social programs, that sort of thing."

Kirito shrugged. "The Raiders got dibs on the loot too, as per our contract. I've got a letter of credit from the Council for, ahem, 'assisting in the return of rightful self-determination of Mankhlar and her citizens'."

"Let me guess, it's gonna take a while?"

"Yeah sure, a couple of years." The merchant let out a long sigh. "I guess I'm starting from day one, remember that, Asuna? I guess this time, I actually don't have money to pay you so …"

"Look it's okay, I'll work for free. Or until you can get enough to pay me."

He frowned. "Asuna, that would be highly unethical."

Sinon leaned over to Argo, "Says the guy who had us sneak into a prison, gets into trouble constantly and had us fight off an army of gangsters and cops."

"Putting you in danger is in our contract, not paying you is just wrong. Besides, you're both very good at it."

"Damn right, we are," said the slayer.

"I've literally sold everything. The cart, the donkeys, my clothes chest. I am poorer even than the poorest beggar."

Asuna stomped her foot. "Okay, that's enough mopping."

"I am not mopping."

"Kirito, the only way you could be even more mopey is if you dressed in all black, sat on the sidewalk in the pouring rain while sad music plays."

"One time, while we were playing another MMO, Kirito didn't get the drop he was grinding for and he sulked in class all day," said Argo.

He sat up. "I DESERVED THAT DROP, DAMMIT," he slammed his fist on the ground. "I ran that dungeon six times, and it didn't drop!"

Asuna patted him on the back. "It's okay, really."

"No, it's not!" His voice was cracking. "I did everything right. I read the books, I looked up guides, I thought I could pull it off and I can't. I'm a terrible businessman and my enterprise is going down the drain. I can't even get my insurance claimed. I don't even know what bankruptcy means. Can't do anything right." The merchant had now curled into a ball.

"Oh I recognise this," said Argo. "Now he won't talk until he gets out of ball mode. This happens when he's depressed."

"I am not depressed," he said unconvincingly.

Sinon looked into the distance. The sun had gone. "Well, we probably should head back to the commune, it's late."

Argo sighed. "Girls, mind stepping aside a bit? Need to talk to our sad boy here."

"Hey, Kii-"

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you ghost me?! For months!" he snapped.

Just as quickly, she turned from sympathetic to confrontational. "Oh, I'm sorry, Kazuto - I'm sorry I didn't immediately choose to marry you, on the spot, in a video game!"

"I love you!" he almost shouted.

"And I do too, you idiot!" She ran a hand through her hair. "Like, hell! You almost gave me a heart attack with that stunt of yours!"

"Me? How do you think I felt when you just left me alone, for months. You didn't even talk to me at school!"

"Yeah, and like you even tried! Do you know how awkward the whole experience was! What was I gonna do, pretend you didn't just propose to me?"

Argo recalled the day after his proposal. It was like a fever dream. Both of them far too afraid to approach the other, even for the most basic things. They usually sat next to each other, but she had convinced someone to change spots. She was at the back of class, Kirito in the middle. Their classmates noticed though no one dared approach.

She wasn't done. "Not only that, but I'm going to college! I was working hard on my entrance exam tests. Until, well, you know." She spread her arms around. "This thing."

The merchant deflated. "But … I even had a ring …"

She scoffed. "Yeah, a virtual one."

"No, a real one. I ... .. saved for months." His voice was low, somber. "It was very expensive."

She blinked. "Kazuto …"

He smiled again. "Look, I know we're young and all, but my internship pays well! I can afford to send Sugu to kendo classes again! The lights are back on! And … and ...we can get married, and have the house to ourselves."

He looked at her again, and Argo looked at him like he grew a second head.

Realisation dawned on him. A crushing and oppressive feeling. "God, what was I thinking? I'm seventeen, you're eighteen. And you were going to college … I don't even know if the company was going to hire me ..."

Argo grimaced at his expression. "Look, I know it was hard when your parents … died."

He winced at the mention of his parents but Argo continued. "It's not fair for you and Sugu to have this happen to you. It's not fair that you have to work part-time jobs and study school at the same time."

"Hey, I'm lucky. I get paid to play video games." He smiled. "I just didn't think I'd be trapped in what was essentially my day job."

She smiled back. "It's just. Look. I'm not ready. I won't apologise for that. I apologise for ghosting you. But you aren't guiltless either."

He let out a long sigh. "No, I'm not. I shouldn't have proposed to you like that. You're trying so hard to mend the relationship that I messed up. I'm … I'm sorry."

At the words, a great weight was lifted off her shoulders. Argo stood straighter than she had in months. "It's okay."

"I made it really awkward."

"Yeah, you did."

"I thought you were trying to console me here!"

She wrapped one strong arm over his shoulder, recalling a certain bard's advice. "Listen. You're like a plant that I haven't been taking care of."

"Huh?"

"And I gotta water you from time to time. Maybe use some fertiliser."

"What on earth are you talking about."

"Maybe put you in the sun and all that, right? You know, maybe I should stop talking."

"The Rat, tongue tied over a boy? The world is ending." He looked up, smiling. "If this is your way of making up, then I accept. So are we still … you know?

"I don't know, are we?"

Her gaze turned to the other girls a fair distance away, they were chatting. Kirito noticed.

"Look, if you're gonna pursue other girls …"

"I didn't say that."

"Please, Kazuto. You're a seventeen year old and you have two pretty girls following you. I'm not dumb. Our relationship meter just took a whopping negative fifty points. And Sinon and Asuna, they're good girls. In which case," she turned, flashing a toothy smile. "Then I just gotta prove my love and be better!"

"You're certainly proving that now."

"Besides," she leaned into his ear, "I'm a way better lay than those two."

He was as bright as a tomato. "Akiko!"

"Nye he he~!"

Her face turned serious again. "I know you've had a hard life. It can't be easy growing up without parents, skipping school to work at dead end jobs. I worry for Suguha."

He hmphed. "Sugu's a tough girl. She'll be fine." Kirito said so with such conviction, Argo didn't doubt it for a second.

"Yet you always get enough money to send her to kendo class, you always get enough to pay rent, you even got enough money to get yourself a Nerve Gear. Every time life knocks down Kazuto Kirigaya, he gets back up. I've seen that happen time and time."

"Another bump in the road. That's life." The merchant extended an open palm. "Peace?"

"Peace."

She shook his hand, and was suddenly pulled in, as he gave her a peck on her cheek. Her heart skipped a bit and she felt the deepest longing for him.

He emerged out of ballmode, stretched upwards then began picking up his minis. "Now c'mon, it's getting late. I need to write up a business plan."

The other two girls approached him. Asuna was practically skipping. "What's the matter?" he asked.

"Nothing~," she said, smiling devilishly. "I have a business proposal -"

"We have a business proposal," the archer added. "We can discuss it over dinner. Our treat."

Well, he'd never say no to a free meal.


It had been a week since the Tyrant was ousted and the Thieves Guild destroyed. Players were hunting down the remnants of both groups, and Clearers were moving up to the next floor. Mankhlar's smog had returned to its usual pace, but mandatory filters and more reasonable work hours made it so that the air pollution wasn't as severe. The Council even increased the minimum wage.

It was ten in the morning and the girls just had breakfast with the goblin lieutenants. They received a PM to wait in front of the Trash Panda inn.

The vehicle moved down the street, fresh from the cartwright. The wagon was 30% bigger, with new compartments and shelves by the sides. The cradle roof was covered with waterproof leather, the wheels were sturdier built, and the front seat even had cushions. The entire vehicle smelled of varnish.

The owner of said wagon was sharply dressed in fancy robes and new boots. Asuna sighed from the sidewalk. So much for being frugal.

"Hello, girls! Or should I say, partners." The merchant gave a wink.

During dinner last week, Asuna and Sinon proposed a plan. In return for a hefty investment into the Kirito corporations, they would become members of the board and had influence on the direction of the company. It was quite the sum of money, on the account of Asuna saving her money and Sinon being self-sufficient from her past jobs. Even Argo signed up for it, and together, they pooled enough money for a startup. Kirito accepted the idea gracefully.

At least that's how he'd tell it. In reality, he broke down crying, and clamped onto Asuna like a sad kitten, saying how she was her saviour, all the while she patted his hair and told him how everything was gonna be okay.

"Look, I was even able to save Lydia and Kharjo! They were almost sold to the butcher!" The mules did not display any gratitude to their ex-owner.

Sinon adjusted her straw hat. "Finally. I'm sick of this place. The sooner we return to the wild, the better."

Argo turned to her goblins. "Gobbos, it's been an honour."

The goblins now wore clean and pressed clothes befitting of their new status. Club the Bruiser was wearing the breastplate of the reformed Mankhlar's Citizen Watch, a sergeant-of-arms of the watch. Doc Hood was in the white robes of a healer, setting up clinics for the underclass of the city as the City Physician. Patch the Knife was dressed like some sort of nobleman, puffy hat and all. No one was entirely sure what his job was, but knowing his skillset, it probably involved some form of stabbing.

They all saluted her like soldiers. In return she hugged and somehow lifted all three of the ground. They were clearly in pain.

"And that's not all!" said the merchant. A horseman came riding down the street and behind him two saddled riderless horses.

"These are for you two," said the rider. The captain-general of the Raiders looked almost out of place without his armour, but the «Fowlbear Cape» and his feathered hat made him look like a proper mercenary captain. "Let's say, Kirito pulled a few favours too."

"Well, thanks, but I have no idea how to ride a horse," said Sinon. "And I haven't put any points into «Riding»."

"Don't worry, I've had one since I was eight, I'll show you!" said Asuna.

Sinon rolled her eyes. "Of course you own horses."

As Asuna began barraging Sinon on equine terminology and Argo sobbing with her goblins, the raid leader rode up to the merchant and glanced at the back of the wagon. "I see you've already acquired some cargo."

"Yep. This is a job from Agil actually, what with him owing me a pretty big favour." The other merchant had already been off a few floors down, ready to act as a sutler for the four guilds currently trying to take out a dragon.

"You know Kirito, the Raiders could always use a sword arm like yours."

"Instead of my sword arm, have you considered buying my wares instead? Actually, I don't really have much in the way of wares, but if you PM me I'll get you supplies faster than the wind!"

The deflect did not work on him. "I remember the beta days. I remember the Kirito that dived headfirst into a spearwall. The Kirito that 1v1'd a Barbarian Warlord and won. That one time you had your arm ripped off and you used it to beat the lich to a pulp. Kirito the Throat Cutter, that's what some of the guys at my office called you."

Kirito's businessmen smile faltered, just a bit.

Ridwan looked at the girls, all excited for the prospect of the journey. "I don't know what's up with this merchant stuff you have going on, but if that's what you wanna do, then by all accounts, I'm sure you'll excel at it. Peace be with you, merchant. See you around." With that, the Clearer trotted off into the distance.

"Hey, what were you two talking about?" asked Asuna. She was on her spotted palfrey, looking like she was born to ride it.

His smile returned. "The past. But enough about that. Can Sinon ride?"

"Weeeell, a little bit." The two turned to see the slayer engaged in a staring contest with her mount, as if one was trying to dominate the other with their will.

"That's good enough! We have to turn to the future."

"And I for one am in agreement," said Argo, riding shotgun. Sinon finally mounted her horse.

"Ready, partner?" asked Asuna.

Partner. That was a nice thing to be called. "Ready as you are."

"I'm going first," said the slayer, trotting forward. "Someone has to keep this caravan alive."

The caravan made their way to the teleportation portal, the large gate showing the next floor, distorted as if seeing through water. They passed through it onto the 16th floor, onto a new day, and new adventure.


Welcome to the end of the first arc for Merchant Prince of Aincrad.

I admit, I didn't realise how popular this story would be when I started. It literally started out as a shitpost on Discord and here we are, 40,000 words later. Thanks to everyone who followed, faved, and reviewed. Especially the last one.

If you haven't reviewed, please do. Kirito is asking for them, he's a sad boy. And you really don't want to piss off his partners, do you?

Don't worry, it's not the end of the Kirito Corporation. There's adventure on the horizon and rom-com shenanigans to be had. I actually planned for the Mankhlar Arc to only be three chapters long but as you can expect, it's gotten a bit longer than that. I'm unsure how to move forward now, but I'm sure I'll have something cooked up by then. Just don't expect an update next month, life's gotten busy, you know how it is.

Meanwhile, I can recommend two other fics. First up is Star Wars the Old Republic Online Rise of the Eternal Empire by Nain Tarlow. The subgenre of SAO But Another Game isn't new, but it's a breath of fresh air because it's based on actual game and on rich universe. It's only two chapters long at the moment, but Nain updates at a steady pace. Can't go wrong with it.

Second is Against The Darkness We Stand by TwistedFilms. It's SAO, but grimdark, three chapters long. And it's also KiriArgo, and really, you can't go wrong with more KiriArgo, can you? Please give both of them a check. And leave reviews. We need our dopamine shots and reviews are the best way to do that.

That's all for now! See you next time, loyal customers.

PS: We've a Discord: discord . gg /z9Pz3Jzc7y (remove spaces)

Patch notes:

- 27th November 2011: Edited the KiriArgo talk


It was a cold night and they had found shelter behind a ring of trees. The mounts were tied and blanketed. The girls were sleeping and Kirito had taken first watch, as he often did. The forest was dark and something was moving in the brush. He put down his ledger.

"I know you're there. You've been hiding in that bush for the past hour. Why don't you come out?" Had Sinon noticed, the slayer would not have hesitated to shoot.

A skinny girl came out. Her clothes had seen better days, her pink hair was reverting back to its original brown, and she smelled awful. She didn't even look at him, only at the pot of rabbit stew, still bubbling over the fire. Wordlessly, Kirito handed her a bowl and spoon.

She guzzled the bowl down like a dog. When she finally had her fill, she started talking. How she was an apprentice smith that started late. How her business failed and how no guild would let her tag along as a camp follower. How she got fired for missing work when she got knocked out by some goblin thugs. Kirito winced at the last detail.

"So I've been running around the wilds, picking berries, and trying to level up. Except I'm not actually much of a fighter. As you can guess, it didn't go well."

A kindred spirit then. "How high is your «Smithing» skill?"

"Ninety … okay, fine, it's fifty. I know, useless. All I can do is make nails and horseshoes. I can't even make a knife that's fit for cutting bread."

That would do. "Well, I don't have much money on hand at the moment, buuuut …"

He produced a sheaf of parchment from his robe. "Would you like a job?"