Date posted: 28 Nov 2021

Kept you waiting, huh?


Chapter 8: How to Profit Off an Ancient Evil (That Almost Destroyed the World)

"As Engie draws near the ancient wall a sense of foreboding overcomes her. She isn't sure why, but she feels this dusty structure may contain great dangers."

- RimWorld

Of all the jobs around Fort Vigilance, he had to be stuck with this job.

Norio sneezed, all sorts of nasties leaving his system. Wait, he just sneezed. Can he get sick in-game? Hopefully not. Sure, SAO was pretty simulationist but still … Kayaba wouldn't have put that sort of thing in-game right?

Right?

Ugh. He knew he shouldn't have joined the guild. Sure, he had a nice spear, a solid shield, and this warm gambeson, but in retrospect, it wasn't exactly top of line gear. In fact, it was beginner level stuff, appropriate to his level (level 7) but it was something that you could probably get just by grinding. The kettle helmet he was wearing didn't even have any lining in it and it was rusty.

"Just a little spit will clean that!" said Captain Heracles. Easy for him to say! The sarge was level 12, had a fancy club from a «Field Boss» and didn't do any work. He was in the fort's barracks, making merry with the rest of the Legends Brave.

The rank itself was inconsequential; it's not like the 'guild' was an actual guild. In fact, none of the guilds were considering the small playerbase. There must have been what, two thousand of them in total? Hardly enough to conquer Aincrad with.

So here he was, in a fort in the middle of nowhere, one of many dotting the area, tasked with holding out against an enemy army. When he signed up as the defender, Norio thought of more exciting things: sword fights on the wall, crossbow duels with the besiegers, counter-artillery with the catapults on the fort's turrets (all of which weren't even working!), and the thing he wanted to do the most: pushing off a siege ladder.

What he got instead was guard duty, in the middle of the night, staring into literal darkness. Why did he even have a spear? He should have a ranged weapon. Apparently, when the fort was taken from a group of bandit NPCs, the Legends Brave had appropriated (read: loot) the crossbows, spears and other gear in the fort's barracks and sold them off for a nice fat paycheck. Their objective sat safely in the fort's barrow, ready to be transported back to town during the day.

Usually that was completely within the rights of the guild but Norio was the newbie, the lowest on the totem pole. Despite doing a fair share of the fighting as a spearman, helping bandage up wounds, and even being an actual janitor by sweeping the barracks (not what he thought he was doing when he bought SAO), he was given the most basic of gear.

Speaking of the barrow, it was giving him the creeps. Never had a mound of dirt ever been so menacing, the old chapel atop made it even moreso. When they took over the place from the bandits, the ancient scorpions and balistae were aimed inward. Probably some ancient evil or the like, Norio had read enough fantasy to understand that. He hoped it wasn't a lich.

Thinking about it, it was making him angry. He did his fucking job, he was a team player! And how was he treated? He was given a bell.

"It's a special bell for a very special job," the captain said. "Ring it, and the whole fort will come to your aid. The enemy is in the darkness, waiting for us to strike. We must keep the relic safe at all costs."

It made Norio all warm and fuzzy inside when he was given the honour. Now, he realised it was a sham. A joke for the newbie, let him wait in total darkness for hours on end. Har har, keep a lookout while we stay inside and drink all the beer! Said bell hung on a pillar of the watch tower he was in.

And worse of all, it wasn't even a fancy bell, it was a freaking cow bell.

He didn't need this! Screw it, he was leaving.

So that's exactly what he did.

Half an hour later, he came back, and Norio immediately knew something was wrong. For one, he noticed the piece of paper stuck to his face. He read it:

Shouldn't have been sleeping on the job lol

His blood froze as the next thing he noticed was the missing bell, and half the torches in the courtyard were out.

Ah, shit.

Quickly, he rushed into the nearest tower - and found the bodies of his comrades lying on the floor, their mouths were foaming. He knelt down by Sergeant Beowulf, who was lying face down in a puddle of his own vomit.

"S-sarge?"

Dead. He knew it when he saw him, a big man in heavy mail and a heavy falchion. Carefully, he slid the falchion out its sheath and put away his spear, grabbed a buckler from one of the dead archers. He went to the table and dipped a finger on the spilled beer to smell it: poison.

The relic! He had to keep the relic safe! He ran down the stairs and into the hallways.

The relic was the «Finger of Saint Olga of Viek, Slayer of the Big Guts, Bone Axe and Skull Slinger Orc Clans», one of the heroes that had sealed away the great evil in the barrow. There was some related background to it that Norio kinda brushed over, but the important thing was that another guild was trying to steal it for some sort of ritual, and their job was to ensure it didn't fall into enemy hands.

He ran down the hallway, passing over the bodies of his dead compatriots:

Cuchulainn had lost both arms, his spear split in twain.

Boudica had her head smashed in with her own mace.

Robin Hood had her own arrows pierced both eyes.

Thor had his hammer stuck down his throat.

One by one, he discovered his dead mates in all manner of gruesome deaths. The enemy must have sent their best men considering that Norio could spot no enemy corpses. It was a massacre.

He barged out of the courtyard only to suddenly realise he was out in the open with no cover where a javelin could oneshot him. He hated those annoying javelin builds.

Well, too late for cover. He forced himself to move as quickly as his AGI would allow, cursing and thanking that the only thing preventing his death was a few layers of linen.

Norio could have made the school track team with that sprint. He was also lucky that there were no deadly archers ready to plant a quarter-pounder of ash right into his side. He ran up the barrow chapel's steps, praying the darkness would be sufficient to cover him. Besides the chapel door were Achilles and Miyamato Musashi, bloodied and broken, they must have given it their all.

He crashed into the chapel's old oak doors. There, at the end of the temple lay the relic. Norio breathed a sigh of relief as he saw Captain Heracles' leopard clothed back on the pew.

"Captain! There's enemies in the fort!" Stupid, he was stating the obvious.

Norio skidded to a halt. Something was wrong. "C-Captain?"

He approached Heracles and placed a hand on the big man's shoulder. The man's head slid off his neck and landed onto the chapel floor with a meaty thud, his lifeless brown eyes staring back at Norio. Norio stepped back, fear gripping his heart. What kind of psycho bastard would take the time to kill him, prop him up on the pew as some sort of sick joke?

He slapped himself, psyching himself up. The finger was still in its container, a beautiful masterwork reliquary crafted with gold; likely the single most valuable thing in the entire fort save for the relic itself. He could relocate it, keep it safe. It was the least he could do for the Legends Brave.

Norio went to the great heavy pulpit and with a shove of his shoulder tipped it over. Underneath was the key that locked the reliquary, the quest container being an «Immortal Object» and its last defense. He unlocked it with a satisfying click and picked up the Quest Item.

The skeletal finger was an unimpressive thing, not much longer than his own index finger. This was the bone of the woman who killed all those orc clans? Aincrad had a funny idea what constitutes for saints. "At least you're safe. Gotta saddle the horses …"

Then Norio shuddered, looked down to see a foot of steel in his stomach, and fell. A hand snatched the finger away from him before he reached the floor as the blade slid out of his body with a gory squelch.

"Thanks for that, I was looking for this key all over the place! I knew if I waited just a bit, someone would come by to unlock it."

Ah, shit. This isn't good. "W-wait!"

Amazingly, he did.

Norio turned to see his killer, as much as his wounded body would allow: he was clad in a black cloak obscuring much of his frame, but he could spot the immaculate breastplate under it. There wasn't even a single tear on his cloak, and he seemed to be at full health. The only thing that seemed to be damaged were the nicks on his longsword. Did he slaughter the rest of Norio's comrades so easily?

Purple eyes bore at him from under his hood, two strands of long black hair flowed down to his chest. A grin showed white teeth. "Yeah, what's up?"

"What's … your name?"

The stranger tore a piece of Heracles' lion pelt and wiped the blood off his blade. "Does it matter?"

"Just tell me … your name …"

"Why?"

Norio's smile was pure venom. "When I get back up …. I'll hunt you down and kill you."

The stranger's laugh echoed in the small temple. "Okay, dude. The name's Kirito."

Shit. Norio knew that name. He was infamous for soloing dungeons. Of all the luck ...

"My name is … Nezha … remember me, because I'm going to shove that sword … up your -"

With a lazy swing of his blade, Kirito decapitated him right then and there.

"Aaaand I already forgot your name." He examined the finger with Yen signs in his eyes. "Now, I wonder how much you're worth? I bet Akiko knows who'd pay a small fortune for this."

Elsewhere, on the First Floor, in the Firsty City, in Black Iron Castle, Nezha respawned and found himself in the company of the rest of the Legends Brave. All with grave faces, all looking right at him.

"Uh, hey guys!" he said awkwardly. "So you guys come around here often?" No one was laughing.

Heracles folded his massive arms across his wide chest. "Why, Nezha-kun. Why did you logout and not keep watch?"

"I-uh …"

"You had one job, man!" Robin Hood said accusingly, her hand reaching for her dagger. "You can't even do that right!"

Cuchulainn spat on the floor. "Those sons of bitches actually sent the Throatcutter after us! That shit ain't fair, he's one of the highest levelled players in the beta so far!"

"I hear he's actually a dev, that he works with Argus," said Thor. "I mean, that's the only way that explains his skills right? He must have access to devmode or something!"

"That'd explain it," said Miyamato. "Only with max skill could he swing a sword that fast!"

Heracles raised a hand and all became silent. "Nezha-kun, tell me, did the enemy get the relic?"

Nezha gulped. "Well, I mean …" At that, everyone groaned.

He tried to explain himself. "No, I thought if I took the relic out and escaped, the enemy couldn't steal it!"

"You dumbass!" yelled Achilles. "They can only open it with the key or a stupidly high Lockpicking skill! It was safer in the reliquary!"

Robin Hood scoffed. "Told ya' you shouldn't have told him where the key was kept, captain."

Heracles placed a meaty hand on his shoulder. "Nezha, there's no 'I' in team, but there's no 'U' either. You're off the Legends Brave. I'll send you the rest of the pay and that's the end of our relationship, got it?"

"Okay."

"Good. Now get the hell out of my sight."


Meeting: On the Agenda of Upcoming Business Ventures

Date: 5th of May 2054, 9:00 am

Location: Floor 16, The Old Duke's Caravanserai, Rough Hoof Inn patio

Chairperson: Kirito, CEO of the Kirito Corporation

Secretary: Lisbeth, Smith

In attendance:

Asuna, Head of Security, Board Member

Sinon, Head of Hunting, Board Member

Argo, Head of Intelligence, Board Member

Lydia, logistics

Kharjo, logistics

Notes on meeting:

1. Kirito suggests the pursuit of mundane utilities (eating utensils, shoes, bedrolls, tent covers, etc) from surrounding villages to support the Frontline effort. He welcomes suggestions of other avenues in profits.

2. Asuna suggests the procurement of weapons and armour, she agrees that it's not the time to expand the caravan's size but the quality of its fighters. She procures a quest involving a dispute between two nobles, picking a side so as to access the castle-forged armouries. She laments that her own armaments are underleveled for the upcoming Floors. The matter is to be given more thought before being decided.

3. Sinon suggests the procurement of pelts, especially those of beavers. The great forests of Floor 21 have numerous beasts that could easily fill the company's coffers. Her cost requirement of a 15,500 Col arbalest was, however, denied. The matter is to be given more thought before being decided.

4. Argo suggests snooping about one of the guilds operating in the area. Her idea of having Kirito crossdress into the guild camp and seduce the guild leaders was quickly vetoed by the CEO despite the approval of the other board members. The matter is to never be brought up again.

5. Numerous other ventures were suggested, including but not limited to: setting up shop inside a dungeon, food transportation, stealing from local nobles, and miniature selling. The last suggestion was considered infeasible by the members of the board, much to the CEO's frustrations.

6. The next venture decided to set up shop at Fort Arrowhead, and do odd jobs for both local NPCs and be a vendor for players.

Adjournment:

The meeting was adjourned at 11:00 am.

Submitted by: Lisbeth, Smith

Approved by: Kirito, CEO


Lisbeth expected a lot of things when she found she was stuck in this virtual Death Game. But one thing she didn't expect was working for someone her own age.

When she first appeared at the edge of Kirito's campfire, she had at best expected some pitiful scraps of food instead of a bowl of stew. At worst, she expected to be shot. Either way, she won't be hungry for the next day.

Instead she was warmly invited into the merchant's caravan. If not with open arms, at least with sheathed swords. She was given some clothes, a dagger, and daily wage. The wage itself was above minimum wage, and worth far more than what journeyman smiths were paid at Lankhmar.

"I believe minimum wage should be enough for a player to live comfortably to pursue what they want in this Death Game, without fear of hunger or a roof over their heads," he told her.

Lisbeth almost bursted into tears and kissed his feet. But she didn't, because that would be weird.

So began her career as the Kirito's Corporation best (and only) smith. She worked hard to earn her pay. She whetted blades, sharpened arrowheads, and did other chores for the camp from laundry to feeding the animals. It was the least she could do, considering they didn't have proper smith tools during their first couple days of travel.

When they reached the first caravanserai, both she and Kirito went around shopping for smithing tools. She was worried she would buy too much, but he said it was okay, as he had a loan from the Merchant's Guild.

"So what should I buy?" she asked, as they looked at the various tools in the smith's shop. They ranged from cheap stuff that wouldn't last a week to dwarven-crafted tools that were good enough to withstand the most advanced of furnaces. That straight peen hammer was probably good enough to go toe to toe with a Flame Elemental.

Kirito shrugged. "I dunno, I didn't spec into «Smithing». I'll leave that to you. Just try not to buy so much that the cart can't move." Then he handed her a hefty coin couch and left to browse other wares.

She bought the essentials: hammer, tongs, oil, buckets, chisel, swages, and the lightest anvil she could get. The only thing she wasn't able to buy was a portable furnace; she'd have to construct one on site if she wanted to do heavier work.

She also bought a few ingots ranging from copper to iron. You can never have enough cold iron, after all.

She made new horseshoes for Kharjo and Lydia, removed the old shoes from both mules with some effort (she didn't have a farrier rack to make the process smoother) and even pressed the new shoes into their hooves. The fact she didn't get kicked by either beasts proved that it was a worthwhile endeavour.

Asuna was most impressed. "Can you do that for Kumo-chan too?" Kumo-chan was the pretty girl's equally pretty horse.

"I think she's already got them, Asuna. But if she starts complaining, you know who to come to!"

Sinon had another idea. "Some of my arrows have pretty blunt heads, do you mind?"

"Of course!" She spent the rest of the night filing the slayer's many, many, arrows, bolts and javelins. She even woke up early the next morning to finish the task. She was levelling her «Smithing» skill at a quick pace, faster than when she was working back at Mankhlar.

They travelled, they camped, they bought stuff from villages and sold them to other villages or players. Rope, tents, pots, nails, bedrolls, grain, forks, spoon, bowls, wax tablets, styli, firewood, soap, towels, combs, clothes, shoes, and so on. It was all very … mundane.

But mundane was not bad.

"Why don't we sell weapons or armour?" asked Lisbeth. They had set up by the roadside at the edge of the Wild Forest where the cobblestone roads turned into dirt roads and the dirt roads turned into barely visible trails. A counter, stands and racks had been erected, and on the road was a sign proudly displaying «Kirito Corporation's Reliable Wares». The sign was exquisitely

"I shall answer your question, Lisbeth-chan, but first, indulge me in a mental exercise," he said in his 'mentor voice'. "What is the single most important thing to a player?"

"Security?" she hazarded a guess.

"Close! Nay, what players want is comfort above all else." He gestured to the basket of soaps on display. "Being out in the sticks, far from civilisation, with wet clothes? We don't have Internet in-game, so players lacking modern 21st century utilities return to more primal luxuries. If I could afford bath tubs and a way to heat them, I'd set them right outside the dungeon!"

It made sense to Lisbeth. Arms and armour required materials and the skill to repair them. Crafting armour from scratch happened in settlement and military camps. Not even Lisbeth could make anything more complex than rings of mail and simple blades, but with the right amenities she could start making such complex gear. "Is this why we have so many socks?"

"Never underestimate a pair of good socks," he said, gracing her with his wisdom.

With that, he placed the crate of socks onto the stand. Lisbeth looked at the road before her where a long line of players were going into the forest to dive into dungeons or slay monsters. They ranged from serious guilds with matching uniforms to the more casual group of friends.

A customer broke off from the road and headed straight to the shop. She was a girl in patchy leathers, broken mail, and a dead look in her eyes. So the average Frontliner, if Lisbeth had to guess.

"Alright, Lisbeth-chan. Time to play customer service."

"Wait, what?" Suddenly, her employer was gone. How on earth he managed to pull that off considering they were in an open field and there were no places to hide, she had no idea.

The girl with the dead eyes approached the counter. "D-do you have wool socks?"

"Uh …" She looked down at the crate. "Yes?"

The customer gave a broken and unhinged smile. "How much for a pair?"

"Fifteen a pair."

"I'll take three pairs."

Well, that was easy.

As soon as the girl disappeared, another customer came: a big pot bellied man in an arm sling around her father's age. The only piece of armour he wore was a metal skullcap.

"Potions?"

"We have potions!" she said. "Sixty-five Col a bottle."

The man frowned at this. "Make it fifty."

"Uh, no. It's sixty-five."

Suddenly, she received a PM in the corner of her eye, which she quickly read. It said: Learn to haggle, Lisbeth-chan. You're with the Kirito Corporation, now.

He was watching her. Seriously, where was he?

The man folded his functioning arm over his broken one. Why the man thought it was a good idea to go into the wilderness with a broken arm, she had no idea.

"Bah! I could just munch on some aloe vera and gain passive healing!"

Lisbeth bit her lip. She had worked retail before, and she had been fired for mouthing off a Karen (what was the Japanese equivalent anyway?) much to her parents' disappointment. She reoriented her mindset. She wouldn't be fired if she spoke back.

"You know what, with that attitude, make it seventy!"

The man frowned at that, clearly not expecting resistance from a teenager. "Fifty-five."

"Sixty. Take it or leave it."

"Bah! Fine! I'll take two."

Five minutes later, more customers came. She haggled, she kept an eye on thieves, and she handled it all with a confidence she never thought she had. This lasted for a good few more hours, and she found that was becoming an able saleswoman. She was even able to sell almost the entire stock of soap that they had.

When it was almost lunch break Kirito appeared by her side again, making her jump. "How are you doing that?!"

He ignored her question. "Good work, Lisbeth-chan. You're a natural. Keep it up, and I might give you a raise."

Now she liked the sound of that.


It had been only a couple of weeks travelling with the Kirito Corporation and Lisbeth had never been in such …. eccentric company.

The merchant himself was a mystery. The self styled CEO looked to be her age, or perhaps a college freshman. He was loud, flamboyant, had a fetish for black clothes, and was very cheerful despite the whole being-stuck-in-a-video game thing. He had been building up his stockpile of fashionware, and at some point his clothes would outnumber all the girls in the caravan combined.

They were currently camping within a small military outpost called Fort Arrowhead; the merchant acquired board and bedding from the fort's captain with gifts and charm. The high timber walls gave Lisbeth a sense of security as were the guards manning it. The landscape was worked for either farmland of wheat and potatoes or cut down for timber. Kirito was off in the village a couple kilometers away from the fort, doing business.

Currently Lisbeth was using the fort's own smithy, working on her latest repair job. Besides her were Sinon's many arrows, broadheads in this case, a duty that the slayer in compensation went out of her way to get an extra egg for her during breakfast. Sometimes she even brought back a duck, a favourite of the smith.

Of all the board members, Lisbeth knew her the least. She was quiet, professional, and had an assortment of weapons that rivaled Kirito's wardrobe chest. She was stealthy too, and had the annoying habit that she shared with Kirito in which she appeared and disappeared at the drop of a hat.

Lisbeth recalled the time she went out one night to have a cup of tea, only to see the archer looking at her from a tree, blue eyes peering from the dark like some sort of predator cat. Lisbeth's soul nearly jumped from her corporeal form.

"Wind's howling," she said.

"... what?"

"Wind's howling," she repeated, and kept an eye on the horizon.

She returned to her tent and forgot about her tea.

Still, Sinon was a fantastic shot and a solid hunter. She was currently off in the forest, hunting animals for pelts. Lisbeth can handle a few eccentricities if it meant having the slayer as a friend.

There, she was finished! She took off her apron, product under an armpit, and made her way to her customer. Unlike the veteran smiths, she didn't have any servants to fetch and send her things. She didn't mind, it was good to get out of the workshop for some fresh air.

She made her way outside the fort, to the training grounds where militia trained under the watchful eyes of the master of arms. Men in mail and scales duelled with each other, a tall strong tribal man taught the militia on the use of bows and the throwing of javelins. She spotted a familiar figure, training hard on her swordsmanship.

The swordswoman worked at the pell with a wooden saber, raising her shield to ward off imaginary attacks. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail, and her fighting form was exquisite. It was like watching a dancer doing rehearsal except Lisbeth didn't know anyone who danced in armour.

Lisbeth watched go at it for a few more minutes before she stopped. She turned to her, just realising her audience. "Oh, Lisbeth-chan! Sorry, didn't notice you there."

"Don't worry, I didn't want to bother your training."

Where Sinon was cool and distant, Asuna was warm and friendly. She admired her seamless ability to go from idealised femininity to man-at-arms at the blink of an eye. At camp, she wore a dress and apron, the rapier on her hip barely a nuisance despite its long length. On the road, she wore mail, aketon and breastplate, and replaced her rapier for a fearsome shamshir. She was training her palfrey into a warhorse with some success. She even had a lance on shield while on the road, a dashing red cape flowing from her shoulders.

She even wore golden spurs. When Kirito had told her that was being a knight roleplayer, she denied it vehemently but the blush said otherwise.

Lisbeth sat on a bench where the rest of the swordswoman gear was, passing the canteen of water to Asuna. She drank it before she said, "Ah, you got it fixed? You could have just sent me a PM, you know."

"I know, I just needed a walk," she patted the breastplate, proud of her work. "Try not to let a kobold hit you with a pickaxe again."

"That's why I'm training with the shield! As thanks …" Asuna took out a glass bottle from her belt.

"Is … is that pink hair dye?"

She winked. "We gotta stick together, like the boss said. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put another hour in."

It was midafternoon when Lisbeth stopped to have her lunch. The fort had a stall where meat was spitted and cooked over a fire, the soldiers were lining up to have their fill. The smell of roast chicken made her mouth salivate. She sat at her table to consume her lunch when a familiar whiskered face appeared in front of her.

"Lis-beth-chan~"

Uh oh. "Can I help you?"

Of all the girls, the Rat was the most eccentric of them all save for maybe the boss himself. There were two things she knew about Argo: one, she had a way of finding people's secrets. She had a way with NPCs and players alike and had her own 'mice' in multiple settlements and guilds, reporting back to her. She spent most of her time either travelling or responding to PMs. Where Kirito could sell someone a bridge, Argo could get people to believe that she owned the river under it.

Two, she was arguably the strongest player in the corporation. Not in the sense of fighting ability, Asuna and Sinon could probably take her on a fight considering their comparative levels, but in the sense she was physically the strongest. She wore a cloak over her fighting leathers but the smith could spot her bare muscular arms under it. The Rat liked to show them off, and with a little flex here and there was sometimes sufficient to convince Kirito to do what she wanted. Of the three, it was clear to Lisbeth she was the closest to the boss. But that was none of her business, she didn't like poking her nose in other people's personal lives.

Unlike a certain Rat.

She cupped her face with both hands. Said hands could probably tear armour apart if required. Lisbeth would know, she saw Argo move a fallen tree on the road by herself the other day.

"Listen, Lisbeth. Honey. Cupcake. Deary."

"Get to the point, Argo." She still had work to do and she didn't have time to entertain the Rat's shenanigans.

She tapped her fingers on the table. "See, here's the thing. Kirito likes you, he respects you, yeah? And we believe that his current … business plan isn't very profitable."

Lisbeth tore into a chunk of her kebab before continuing. "You're a board member, I'm a newbie. I doubt he'd listen to me."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, smith-chan! You see, Kii-bou and I have history. I know him the best, but because of this familiarity, my feminine wiles simply can't go through him."

"You mean the other day where you ambushed him by laying in his bed naked? And then he needed Asuna to shoo you out?"

"A miscalculation! I should have worn lingerie instead. Hmm, you don't happen to know where a gal can find some?"

That was another thing about the other board members that Lisbeth knew by day three:

Every. Single. One of them. Wanted to bang Kirito. And they never stopped pursuing him.

Well, she can kinda get it. Kirito was handsome in his own way. Too girly for her tastes, what with him growing his hair out to shoulder length, and his obsession with silk, and his ever growing complex harebrained schemes. The most baffling thing is that he deigned to not entertain any of them, which made Lisbeth think he had the willpower of a pious monk. What kind of seventeen year old boy wouldn't want to have his way with pretty girls? Just one of those things she'd never understand about him.

She dipped her kebab in sauce. "Stay on track."

"Right, right. So: there's a nearby dungeon …"

She listened to the Rat's proposal, thought about it. She finished her kebab before giving her thoughts. "I dunno, Argo. I'm not really a business minded person. Are you sure this will bring profit for the company? Sounds kinda dangerous."

"Sure as you're my favourite smith!"

Lisbeth narrowed her eyes at the blonde. "Fine, I'll try to convince him. But what's in it for me?"

"Ohoho, I see our benevolent employer has rubbed off on you. But, if you insist."

Her tapping fingers produced a shiny gold coin, the Granum Xol valued at 5000 Col. Lisbeth gulped, it was easily the monetary reward of a medium level dungeon and four month's wages.

"If you do, this shiny is yours."

Her mouth had suddenly become dry. "I'll … do my best."

"Atta girl."


Later that night, the captain of the fort had invited Kirito to dinner. To Lisbeth's surprise, she was invited as well.

They dined at the captain's office/house, a homey log cabin a fair bit away from the barracks. Dinner consisted of mashed potatoes, roast chicken, topped with warm hippocras.

The captain went by Ser Reginald, a Granum knight tasked to defend colonists in the surrounding area. He was a heavyset man with a big bushy beard, dressed in wool and buckskin, smoking a tomahawk pipe. He was very much not the picture of Granum chivalry. The only hint that he was part of the knightly class was his handsome warhorse and the sword he wore. His wife was a quiet tall dusky woman who had the great shoulders of an archer and the skill to boot if the hornbow hanging off the door was any indicator.

"I like to know all who come to my fort. It is good to make friends amongst merchants and craftsmen, eh?" He puffed a ring of smoke before continuing. "My fort smith speaks well of your skill, Miss Lisbeth. Mayhaps you would like to settle down in the village? One of the smithies is hiring, I hear."

"Thank you for the offer, ser knight but I like my current employer just fine."

Lisbeth noticed the smile on Kirito. It was hard to ignore, he was beaming at her like a puppy.

They chatted about more mundane things. The Frontline effort, trade in the area, the weather, that sort of thing. The Frontliners were currently fighting what appeared to be a sorcerer and his Beastmen allies. They seem to be of a different breed than the ones on the lower floor. While the Granum had more Greco-Roman-esque monsters, the monsters in this part of the floor were more … beastial? She hadn't seen much in the way of them, but they seemed more fearsome in a way she couldn't describe.

"Ah, a shame. I admit, your arrival was a godsend, good merchant. The village simply does not have the resources to continue their work considering there is a fort infested by bandits, harassing my miners. I would hire the local braves but they dislike following the orders of an outsider. Without the mines, the fort and the village will be considered a failure."

"Worry not, good knight. I can recommend a team of dependable ronin to deal with them. Why, I can send them a message right now."

"That would be greatly appreciated."

This was her chance. "Kirito, what if we clear this fort ourselves?"

He raised an eyebrow at that. "When you mean 'ourselves', you actually mean the other girls, right?"

"I can fight!" Sort of. She better not mentioned that time she was totally mugged by a bunch of goblins. "I've put points into «Maces»! Sure I'm not that high level, but I can be in a shield wall if I have to."

The idea clearly did not sit well with Ser Reginald. "It would do me a great dishonour to send civilians to do the work of fighting men. I cannot in good faith ask you to do this task, even if your caravan guards are up to it."

"But," said Lisbeth, "the bandits could have good loot with them."

"Hold on, tell me more about this fort. Perhaps we can make some money out of this …" Lisbeth rolled her eyes, already familiar with Kirito's eternal chase for profit.

"Well, it is an ancient settlement from before my time, hundreds of years old. It is called Fort Vigilance."

Now, it could have been the candlelight, but Lisbeth was sure she saw Kirito's eye twitch. "Fort Vigilance, you say?"

"Indeed. It was once in the control of an organisation whose name has been forgotten to time. It is said that an ancient evil lays slumbering, and the defenders were tasked to keep it there forever."

"What happened?" asked Lisbeth.

The knight shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe the defenders have forgotten their purpose. Maybe the fort had simply fallen into ruins because new routes and roads were created. It is not too dissimilar from the many tombs around Aincrad, which often had a lord tasked for its upkeep."

"I see. And you say there be bandits?"

"Yes. A robber knight has rallied some disgruntled outcasts from the tribes along other undesirables. It is a tale as old as time. Now he harassses nearby villages and trade routes! Bah, no matter. I will take your samurai sellswords. We can discuss the -"

"We'll take the job," said Kirito, with abnormal seriousness.

Ser Reginald puffed on his pipe. "Very well, if you insist. My wife can guide you there first thing in the morning."

Huh, that was easier than expected.


The fort was an unassuming and disgraceful thing, hardly worthy being called one at all. It was no different from the many ruins that dotted Aincrad, guarding some long forgotten artefact, home to bandits, beasts, undead and other sorts of nasties.

Or worst of all: wizards.

Thankfully, Lisbeth was at least 99% sure there were no wizards. She hoped.

Even coming here was a difficult task, there were no roads leading to it at all. They discarded their cart and put their stuff on the mules. They were guided by Ser Reginald's wife, Alona, who herself was an adept scout. The tribal hunter stayed at camp and left the assault to the merchants turned sellswords.

"Hell yeah, we're gonna kick some ass! Been some time since I had a proper brawl!" said the Rat, who was doing handstand pushups to psyche herself up.

"Didn't you wrestle half the village's tavern the other day?" asked Asuna.

"That's what we call a warmup, Aa-chan."

"Uhuh. You okay there, Lisbeth-chan?"

"Yeah, I'm good. You don't need to fuss over me." Currently, the other woman was checking her gear for the umpntheeth time, making sure the straps, mail were all fitted well. Lisbeth was bedecked as heavily as Asuna was, mace in her belt, shield strapped to her arm. This time, the swordswoman had returned to her rapier.

"It's called being a squire. I understand you don't have much dungeon experience. Just keep your cool and follow my lead," she said helpfully.

"Don't worry, if anyone comes near you," said Sinon, and mimicked a gunshot with her hand, "they're dead."

It was amazing how Sinon could make Lisbeth feel both safe and scared at the same time.

The company's head hunter had scouted ahead by climbing the tallest tree on the tallest hill and drawn a good enough map of the dungeon: a crumbling stone fort, roughly twice the size of Fort Arrowhead, and had clearly seen better days. It was an island in a sea of pine trees. There were indeed bandits about as Ser Reginald said there would be, a bunch of men in rusty mail standing guard and archers in leathers and padded armour.

"They seem to have a bunch of peasants doing menial labour, chained up," said Sinon.

"Ah, if we can free them, they'll be in our debt!" said Kirito.

"And here I thought you had a heart of gold," said Asuna, sighing.

Kirito had decided on a battle plan drawn in the dirt with a stick, complete with very fantastically done wooden minis of all of them, all painted, saved for Lisbeth's which was clearly unfinished. "Best way to take a fort, even a ruined one, is with an escalade. I'll make a distraction by walking up to the gates, and when they're focussed on me, you go up on the southern side of the fort with a ladder."

Runned down as the walls were, they were still a good few meters tall. They would use rope and grapple hook, had half the squad could do so in their heavy armour. Kirito brought a ladder along, it looked strong and sturdy enough to support all their weight combined. "Asuna and Lisbeth, you go left, Sinon and Argo goes right. If you can overwhelm the defenders, you can take them out even if you're underleveled. Chances are this robber knight is in the barracks' office or the chapel on the barrow."

"I didn't see a chapel, just the barrow," said Sinon, raising an eyebrow. "Why did you think there was a chapel?"

Kirito merely smiled. "Oops, my mistake."

The girls exchanged looks but said nothing further.

"You know, for a guy who cowers at the sight of rabbits, you sure sound like a raid leader," said Asuna. "I didn't know you had experience in this sort of thing."

Lisbeth noticed Argo's smirk. The merchant shrugged. "War is just business under a different name."


The fight went quicker than Lisbeth expected.

It was some heart stopping action: carrying the ladder to the walls while Sinon shot any enemy on the ramparts, climbing said ladder in some twenty kilos of armour, worried that every step would break the ladder entirely, worried that someone would peek over embrasures and stab a spear in her face.

The ascent only took fifty seconds, but to Lisbeth, it felt like fifty-one seconds.

The team split, not even waiting for Lisbeth to catch her breath. "Keep up, smith-chan!" Argo yelled as Sinon followed after her. Recalling the plan, Lisbeth went after Asuna.

Asuna cut down an archer with a quick cut on his wrist, then followed it up with a thrust to a man-at-arms. Not even the best armoured bandit could stop a thrust in the armpit. Across the courtyard, Lisbeth saw Argo barreling into the bandits and throwing them off the ramparts. Sinon's arrows slew the defenders that were coming out of the barracks. Lisbeth knew archers could shoot fast, but Sinon was as fast with her arrows as Asuna was with her rapier.

All the while, Lisbeth was some thirty paces away from Asuna. Who knew that sprinting in armour, was in fact, quite difficult? She hadn't even hit anyone! It would not be an inaccurate assessment to say that she was slowing everyone down.

In the span of ten or so minutes, the three girls had dispatched a dozen plus bandits. The peasantry had run into the buildings or cowering in fear of the sudden raid. To them, the players might as well be another bandit gang.

They met up again at the fort's gatehouse. The girls weren't even tired and here Lisbeth was panting as if she had done a marathon. They paid her no heed and she reminded herself to level up her CON.

"That settles the bandits on the ramparts. Now we just have to handle the robber knight himself," said Asuna.

"He should be in the barracks, like Kii-bou said. Come on, let's finish this!" she said, slamming her first into a palm.

Sinon looked down in the courtyard. "Uh, girls. I think we have a problem."

Lisbeth looked as well, and agreed, there was indeed a problem.


"Nobody move or I'll slit pretty boy's throat!"

"Excuse me, sir. But I am actually going to have my eighteenth birthday in a couple months so that makes me a legal adult - OW OW, okay, keeping quiet!"

«Robber Knight Robert» (really, game?), a man in fearsome black scale armour, a horned helmet, and a beard that could make Santa Claus envious, held the CEO at knife point. His battle axe hung from his belt, and besides him were two big tribals with square shields and steel-headed tomahawks. Across the NPCs were the players, weapons raised. His face was painted red like the rest of his men. They were all in the courtyard now, the peasants' eyes were on the standoff.

"So much for being in the barracks'," said Sinon. She had her bow trained on the knight. "Must have been at the entrance instead."

"Put down your weapons, or else!"

Lisbeth dropped her mace. Noticing the rest didn't, she picked them back up and hoped no one noticed. "What do we do?" she whispered.

"Hold on, I'm thinking," said Asuna.

"I can plant a shaft in him, just give me the order," said Sinon, her bow halfway strung.

Lisbeth spared a glance to Argo. The Rat's jovial and pretty face had contorted into something like murderous rage. "I got a deal for ya, mister robber knight."

"The only deal I'll take is you dropping your weapons!" His back was facing the gate. He was going to make a run for it.

She ignored him. "You let go of our Kii-bou, and I don't beat you to a pulp, how about that?"

"Not an effective negotiation tactic, Argo!" the CEO squeaked.

"Alright, here's the plan," said Asuna. "I take the guy on the left, Argo takes the guy to the right, Sinon, can you pull off a headshot?"

"Easy-peasy."

"Hey, wait a sec!" Kirito's voice went up an octave. "Can't you just bribe him?"

"Afterwards, Lisbeth, I need you to tackle the miniboss. You got it?"

"I can do that!" "Roger that." "No!"

Asuna took something like a sprinting stance, legs cocked and ready to explode. "Ready? On the count of three. One-"

On the count of two, a very audible bonk reverberated around the fort. The bandit lord let go of his captive as he fell to the ground like a great tree, shaking the earth with his weight. The players looked up to see Alona, smiling and waving at them. Besides the knocked out bandit was a brick cracked in two.

His henchmen, knowing full well they were outmatched and dashed for the gate and off into the wilds.

"Kill stealer," Sinon mumbled under her breath. Lisbeth let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding.

"Well he's not dead," said Argo. "Although …"

Asuna glared at both of them. "No." She went to the merchant and held him up. "You okay?"

"As okay as can be," he said, massaging his throat.

The peasants/prisoners came out of their hiding places, still wary of the strangers. An old man who walked with a limp and with a cane came to them. "Thank you, strangers! We wouldn't have lasted another day had you not come to our aid!"

Kirito and the elder shook hands. "The Kirito Corporation is always happy to help! What happened here? Why are there so many of you in these ruins?"

The old man stroked his great white beard. "It's a long story that we should discuss in private. Come, we can celebrate this victory. It has been a while since the Barrow Guard has had a feast."

"Barrow Guard, eh?" said the merchant.

One of the peasants came to tie up the bandit while Sinon gave him a swift kick in the belly. As they followed Kirito and the old man, Lisbeth felt something pushed into the palm of her hand.

"There's more where that came from, Lisbeth-chan~" said the Rat to her ear, and followed after the merchant.

Lisbeth looked at the item in her hand, the sun casting a shine on the gold coin. She smiled, the tools she could buy with it!

Then she realised how sticky the coin was. The gold coin was weirdly light and …

On instinct, she closed the palm and felt the coin crumble. She opened her hand and saw the bits of chocolate and yellow paint that smudged her hand.

Asuna tackled the smith before she clubbed the Rat in the back of the skull. Argo whistled innocently.


Hello everyone, welcome back to Merchant Prince!

Now, to calm all of y'all, the next chapter will likely come out in January. I promised a certain someone on the Discord that I'd publish in November, so I have! The next month will be focused on wrapping up Sinonon.

If you didn't catch it, I've also published and finished a KiriArgo fic recently called Virtual Love. So if you still want more Ratto, go check that out.

Until next time, loyal customers! Gonna have a fun time with this arc!

Oh yes, the Discord is here: discord. gg/ ncsKD8z8s7 (remove spaces)